Family Woes

[rad14701]

I had to put my 81 year old father in the hospital last night (Tuesday) after getting a call about him having an altered mental state... It was totally impossible to get a conversation out of him over his cell phone and I had no idea where he was other than over the state line in rural Pennsylvania... His woman friend was of less than no help other than wanting me to stay the night with him once they got him home... Once I got someone with some brains on the phone, after several call backs, I convinced them to call for an ambulance and have him transported to our local hospital...

He's not lucid and very combative at times - to the point where there had to give him both morphine and valium... The doctors and I are in agreement that it may be caused by an interaction between medication for shingles which he started taking just before his first episode on Monday evening, which I was never informed about, with his other medications may be the culprit... We still have no definitive answers after a CAT Scan, chest X-Ray, blood workups, etc., so they will be doing another CAT Scan as well as a spinal tap early this afternoon...

My time here in the forums may be somewhat diminished as we try to sort through this medical drama... I'll always choose family matters over all else, even when it may not be the favorite option according to those around me... Family members don't come with refills...

[WV Shine]

Sorry to hear about that Rad. Drug interactions are a tricky subject, hopefully that's all it was. Wish you and yours the best, and good luck.

[Prairiepiss]

Take care of the family Rad. You are right they don't come with refills. Wishing you and yours the best.

[Frosteecat]

I am sorry to hear the old man is struggling. Something they don't tell us in life is that we will parent our parents one day. My wife, sister and I cared for my mom for ten years (diagnosed with stage IV bone cancer and battled on for a decade). This is a during/after my fathers own illness and death.
I learned a lot about hospitals and such. There are some real angels and also assholes in that world. Having power of attorney and authority as a medical advocate LEGALLY went a long way. We took copious notes at all times, kept logs and even chewed some serious ass when we got that rushed and flustered health care worker who was obviously having a bad day and potentially jeapordizing lives in the process. It was a very stressful decade and nearly put the kibosh on my marriage. My wife is obviously a saint...

Remember to take care of yourself too...I hope you have the support I had and I know you are a strong and intelligent man. Just give yourself a break now and then. I dove into some dark places when it was over and didn't have it to fixate on anymore.
I know you are greatly respected and loved here...don't worry, we will keep your spot at the still warm (can I tongue lash some newbies? Can I? Can I?) and I wish you smooth sailing in these rough waters.

Positive thoughts to you and your Dad...81 years...that's a blessing.

[Odin]

The best for you & your family, Rad! I hope your dad gets better soon.

Odin.

[OlympicMtDoo]

Family first rad Damn streight, wish you and yours the best. OMD

[Coyote]

Rad Our hopes and prayers go out to you and your family.

Tough time I know I was just there last month.

Take care of yourself and know this family is here for your to
blow off steam when you need to.

Would offer in person help but Oregon to New York. . .

Coyote

[heartcut]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I hope everything turns out well. Family does come first.

[fullhouse]

Rad Sorry to hear about ur Dad ....take care of him bro ,we only get them once ur right no refills...we will all be ok without u here for a while ....it will be hard ,but we will manage! take care bro and we will all be praying for the best outcome!

[Bonjimmi]

Wish you the best of luck.... Hope everything turns out ok

[blind drunk]

Take care Rad and hoping for the best possible outcome.

[Braz]

Hope it works out for the best, Rad.

[Husker]

Take ALL the time you need. REAL family is much more important than the virtual family we have here on the forum's. We all like to enjoy each other's company here, but its all in fun, and all for a hobby.

RW situations always win out over our little bubble here.

I hope they find the issues easily, and that your thoughts that there are medicine interactions is right. Usually a simple 'fix' there, by removing the interaction.

H.

[NcHooch]

Best wishes on the way Rad, We'll be here when everything gets back to normal .

[Oxbo Rene]

Prayers sent ........

[rtalbigr]

Both of my parents (83 & 86 yrs old) suffer from dementia. Whether or not that's the case, the confusion they suffer is horrible, their personalities change to some one you don't recognize. My brother got a call that Dad was found with his car on the sidewalk and he was passed out. We have him in a facility now, but he thinks we're trying to take all his money and that he won't have anyplace to live.

I can give no advice to you Rad except to endure. It's a very difficult situation to see how quickly one's parents can become someone you don't know. I hope that's not the case.

Big R

[LWTCS]

shit,,,, it hurts to think about these things......sorry for your pain.

[MitchyBourbon]

Rad, I'm very sorry hear that your father is having difficulties. Please know that the thoughts and prayers of all of us here are with you and your family.

[rad14701]

Thanks everyone... I'll give an update when there is a change or definitive word... No changes as yet... And not much I can do now except check in on him several times a day... I'm the only family member making an effort so it's all on me to deal with the doctors as well as his place... Just mowing is a four hour task, minimum... It doesn't look like I'll be camping over the Memorial Day weekend...

What has me concerned is that some of his behavior is exactly the same as my uncle initially displayed when he suffered a stroke... That uncle just passed away just last month after languishing for four years in a nursing home... I wouldn't want to see my father go through that so I'm thinking positive that his condition will improve...

[Prairiepiss]

I know its sometimes hard. But Rad you can only do what you can do. Don't blame yourself if you can't do it all. That's a big job. Not to mention your own life. But sounds like you have the right attitude going in. Just keep it the best you can.

[Washashore]

Wish there was a way we could help you Rad. Please take care.

[toe cutter]

+1 on what PP said,hope everything works out.

[HolyBear]

Wish y'all tha best Rad... I lost my Dad a few years ago this month to ALS, (Lou gearings disease). We used to argue an fuss over lotsa thangs. Whatever he'd tell me ta do, I'd do jes tha opposite. He of course was smarter than me, and he knew i'de do jes tha opposite so,.. he started telling me what I wanted to hear, knowing I'de do jes the opposite... damn I miss that ol man... still wish I could ask em some questions....
I have a new Father now though, one that is always there for me, and if I have a question, its written down, all I hafta do is read....jes like here on HD...
Peace be with you...

[HookLine]

All the best to you and yours, Rad.

Take ALL the time you need. REAL family is much more important than the virtual family we have here on the forum's. We all like to enjoy each other's company here, but its all in fun, and all for a hobby.

RW situations always win out over our little bubble here.

x 2

[rad14701]

Daily Update...

This morning Dad was awake and somewhat coherent and able to talk... They even got him up into a chair for for a few hours and he ate a full liquid dinner after the NG tube was removed... He's till more confused than not, loses his train of thought, and drifts back into less than coherent episodes... Only time will tell where he'll end up in the long run...

I picked up Power of Attorney papers from his lawyer today, just in case... He was at least coherent enough this morning long enough to mention the subject and I managed to figure out who his attorney is from his property abstract... Come to find out she has had the POA ready since 1999 when his will was revised... At least now I will be able to take care of his business affairs... Next on the agenda will be getting an official health proxy in place as well as considering the possibility of either short or long term care options should the need arise...

[Mud Mechanik]

Those are tough times Rad, you are handling it well it seems, My prayers are with you and your family.

[bentstick]

Thoughts are with you and yours Rad!

[Stilly]

Sorry to hear of your Dad's problems. Its a tough road for all. It is a blessing that you can be there for your Dad. You are a good man.

Best
stilly

[rtalbigr]

Daily Update...

This morning Dad was awake and somewhat coherent and able to talk... They even got him up into a chair for for a few hours and he ate a full liquid dinner after the NG tube was removed... He's till more confused than not, loses his train of thought, and drifts back into less than coherent episodes... Only time will tell where he'll end up in the long run...

I picked up Power of Attorney papers from his lawyer today, just in case... He was at least coherent enough this morning long enough to mention the subject and I managed to figure out who his attorney is from his property abstract... Come to find out she has had the POA ready since 1999 when his will was revised... At least now I will be able to take care of his business affairs... Next on the agenda will be getting an official health proxy in place as well as considering the possibility of either short or long term care options should the need arise...

Make sure you cross all your "T's" and dot all your "I's," Rad. At some point you may need Title 19 care for your father and they are sticklers. You will have to account for everything. Keep in mind as well that facilities are vastly different in the care they provide, so you may want to have a list of questions as to what your Dad's specific needs are.

I hope for you that this is a temporary situation, but if not, be prepared. Dementia is just as hard on the caretaker as the patient, their personalities can really change. My Dad is convinced he's going to be homeless, no place to live, and he has more than sufficient investments for his care. My mother steals from the other patients, gets in fights with them, and throws things at her caregivers, not what you'd expect from a devoutly Christian woman.

Big R

[Frosteecat]

Sounds like you're doing it the right way. Keep hanging in there and watch out for thieves etc. they tend to show up around the elderly and infirm.