HD novella

Little or nothing to do with distillation.

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HD novella

Post by HDNB » Fri Oct 17, 2014 8:00 am

So the idea here, in case you missed the lead in off the liars bench is a three paragraph story. kind of like a long 3 word story. feel free to contribute a chapter, paragraph, line or idea. and maybe the mods will keep it cleaned up and organized into something resembling a serial novel. add characters, new story lines or locales, timelines or whatever you want. let your imagination run. if you got some mad art skills throw out an illustration or a photo if something comes up that brings about an image.
i'm counting on goose eye for a forward and mods to post it to the top.
enjoy!


The ravine cut under the CN railway tracks a couple mile out of town. It was the perfect setup on Crown land that the government held title to so if the revenuers ever did stumble onto the site they could lose the equipment but there was no way for the Feds to take the farm. The steep walls held all the light in from the small fire powering the still and the rich black soil that had blown in and washed down from the fields held a little moisture that fell from the skies these days. It was easy to dig the worm into the hillside and the ground did all the cooling they needed, saving toting buckets up from the small creek below that had carved the ravine and fed the huge evergreens. The big Conifers offered further protection, holding the heat down from the small fire at night and gave some shade from the hot summer sun for most of the morning.
The old man had bought the adjacent farm on a judicial sale about ten year ago. The place had belonged to a family with four boys. They were known around these parts as the 'ol boys. Hardworking salt of the earth men, they had stayed on at the farm to help out the old man Jesse when he had got too old to clear the stumps and keep the field up. Ol Jesse was a God fearin' man and he had brought his boys up with a firm hand and the occasional thump of a bible on the head to keep their attention, but even with all the prayer sent heavenward, mother nature had not seen fit to bless their farm with any rain for the whole of the great depression. The creek had turned to little puddles by May when the little bit of snow had melted off and when the well finally gave out in the tenth year of drought, there was not even drinking water for the last horse and last hog. The 'ol boys had no choice but to throw in and move on.
The weather was fickle out here on the prairies, the drought that had driven Jesse's boys off the land had turned right around the very next year. Rain had fallen where and when the farms needed it. This year, was the 11th post drought and after a solid month of gentle rains from May into June the sun came out long and hot and held for a perfect two weeks, enough time to cut the hay fields, dry them to a perfect green and get everything baled up and shedded. The skies opened up again and warm summer rain had fallen every night for two and a half weeks of July. The Hay fields greened up again and there was no question they would produce two cuts again this year.
Donny was the youngest and the biggest of the three boys. "Moose" had earned his nickname on the high school football team where he anchored the defensive line. Of course being the biggest and the youngest it seemed that whenever it was his turn to mind the still, it was also time to take another sack of corn up to the ravine for the fermenters.
Donny didn't mind the lifting and carrying so much, it helped keep his legs strong for football. Not really sure if he had his eye on a college education, but he was keen on being a football star in the eyes of the college girls that filled his dreams. The long nights wore him down and with only the company of the his Black Lab, Guinness, there was not much to do or think about after the wash was set. Just sit there and listen to the music of a broken stream of distillate trickling into the jar, and scratch the dog's ass. Man, that damn dog went to someplace special when he got a good scratchin.
The tinkling of the spout was kind of a spellbinding sound and Donny was for the most part hypnotized by it and almost asleep when Ole man Flatwoods came running over the edge of the ravine with one of the suspender of his overalls flailing out behind him and his cheeks puffed out and a whole bunch ruddier than usual from the exertion.
"Moose, Moose!!" he huffed "douse that fire, them revenuers are a comin' up fast from town!"
Flatwoods owned the farm on the opposite side of the creek (the one he had named), and was part of the Secret Stillers Society. He had got a call from the chemist who lived on the outskirts of town when Federal police cars had gone blazing by just minutes ago.

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Re: HD novella

Post by Truckinbutch » Fri Oct 17, 2014 6:04 pm

Well , them tax men was kinda lost and stopped at Corene's place to ask for directions to where they was headed .
>
>She axed them ,"Did y'all happen to leave your proper names with Mrs Flatwoods ?"
>"Why would we do that ?"
>"Well , she is the lady that orders all the body rocks for the community and it would be a shame for you to go off to meet your maker without someone having a proper name to put on your stone ."
>
>
"Well , Ms Corene , we woul pay you $200 to tell us how to find our way up that holler to the still ."
"OK . Hand it over and I'll tell ."
"Ummmm , welllll , we will pay you when we come back down ................."
>>
>
>"YOU FED SUMBITCH ! You will pay me NOW ! Cause ; if you go up that holler , you ain't coming back !"
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
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Re: HD novella

Post by Red Rim » Fri Oct 17, 2014 6:29 pm

The tax men moved further up the valley and came across the old general store. The store was like many others in this part of the world, you could get whatever you needed inside, but the real entertainment was outside.

Sitting in the front of the store was an old wooden bench and there sat several of the good ole boys from around town. Red Rim was feeding Truckinbutch and some load of shit about a bull elk he killed a few days prior. The janitor and Bear river were hanging out as well trying not to call bullshit on sack of crap they were being fed, when up rolled the tax men. They sat and listened for a few minutes until they figured out exactly who they were looking for.

Truckinbutch quietly sent Bearriver out the back to give em a warning about what was about to happen. Bear, being the youngest and swift of foot, slipped away without notice to warn their friend.
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Re: HD novella

Post by corene1 » Fri Oct 17, 2014 7:27 pm

Mean while Ms. Corene gathered up a bunch of her good friends and sent em up to that special place in the holler . That one where the rocky ravine makes a group of fellers have to walk single file just to get through. Rough walkin for a few hundred yards for sure. She knew them ol revenuers weren't real tough men, not like the died in the wool hill folks they were huntin for. She knew her friends still site would be safe as she had sent them boys on another path that would quickly spell trouble for them. She actually felt kind of bad for them knowin what was waiting for them at the base of that ravine. That $200 dollars sure felt good in her pocket though. She was thinkin that when this little problem had been taken care of she would use it to buy a nice sized hog and have ol TB do some good old B-B-Q and get Jimbo and his group to play some good ol dancing music for the Saturday night gatherin at the bench. After a few moments thinking about the smell of a good hog B-B-Q and remembering the sweet melodies of Jimbo's guitar she got back to the task at hand. These broadheads need to be nice and sharp to do their job . Again she thought of the revenuers and the fate they were walking into.

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Re: HD novella

Post by Truckinbutch » Fri Oct 17, 2014 8:02 pm

Meanwhile , I been tryin to encourage Corene to keep that money in her pocket as dowery . Soon as I can convert her to the Mormon faith we will have a big feast celebrating her becoming a sister/wife . I got lots of hogs on my own for the celebration .
(This passage is subject to deletion if my proposal is rejected or if it offends fellow members . Remember that this is the rough draft of the novella .)
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
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Re: HD novella

Post by corene1 » Fri Oct 17, 2014 8:19 pm

As Ms Corene sat on the porch sharpening her arrows her mind began to wander , not of the doomed revenuers but of the proposals that a certain moonshiner kept sending her way. As interesting as they were she knew in her heart she was too one way to ever share anything that belonged to her. That is why she still lived alone in her little wooden shack at the base of the creek just a stones throw from Flatwoods place. Nice and peaceful plenty of game for the stew pot and no one to answer to or take care of but herself. Yes it was a lonely life but she had many friends in the area that were always there to help her out, just as she was always there to help them. Yes good friends , nothing better in the world.

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Re: HD novella

Post by HDNB » Fri Oct 17, 2014 8:35 pm

Ha! good to see you here! i was writin while you were postin...and since it's just a rough run...i'm posting anyway even though i like where you were going...clean it up later i guess.


It was over twenty year ago when Capone's men had run the distribution from from these parts, funding the tunnels and secret passage ways under the town of MooseJaw with the profits from the stateside speakeasies. Prohibition had brought a boom to the local economy here in rural Saskatchewan; there was no local enforcement that cared about the ole boys cranking out a bit of personal hooch. With all the grain farming going on here there was no shortage of feedstock. Hell, corn, oats and barley was growin' everywhere.
When the good ole U.S. of A decided to outlaw liquor... the goodtimes just started to roll north of the border.
Seeing those flashing lights a few miles off had reminded GA of the first time he had seen a dead body. It was one of Capone's boys, shot down by some state troopers that had been given a perdition permit to come across the border and hunt them bootleggers.
Him and Mrs flatwoods had been pushin their first born in a small buggy out behind the general store in town all those years ago, when the Feds had run that boy down and shot him down cold as ice only a half a block ahead them. And it broad daylight to boot!
It was a defining moment in both their lives (and the boy too- but more on that later) GA had grown a distaste right there and then for authority. Gunnin a man down for making a few dollars to feed his family didn't seem right. And over a bit of sugar, corn and yeast! The government judgement had taken a turn he didn't care for, taking a man's life for a few dollars in tax money. Well that just didn't sit.
GA had taken to distillin' like a duck to water. The Missus had since then taken on the lucrative business of ordering headstones from the chinese stone masons that had run out of work once the railways had been completed. Since the prohibition ended both their professions had slowed to pace that they were both more comfortable with as they neared retirement.
All these years later GA had taken more to artisan products, it was more of a hobby that could be enjoyed by him and his brothers in the secret society. Now it was all about bragging rights on the best drop, and puttin up a good batch on some wood to mark a birth or a wedding, and breaking out a bottle of "the good stuff" when it came time to celebrate an anniversary or coming of age party.
But tonite his duty to the brotherhood was clear when he got off the phone with the Chemist and ole GA took off like a scalded dog to warn Moose them feds were on the way.

iii

Moose! Moose! douse that fire! them revenurers are a comin up from town! in his head it sounded like he was screaming at Donny, and a fresh wave of panic washed over him... that he was drawing more attention that no one wanted.
Just as Flatwoods cleared the edge of the ravine and huffed out his warning, a root reached up from one of the huge trees and took him out at the ankles sending him headlong down down the bank, right in to BearRiver's arms.
"Whoa ol fella" bearriver warned in a low tone, "y'all gonna break yer neck running thru the dark woods like that"
"Bear!" "them tax men are on the way from town, KY gave me the heads up, we gotta warn Donny and get the hell outta here!"
"ahh, no problem GA, they stopped in the store, and boys on the bench sent them up the north road. I just slipped out the back and made my down here mysef to let Moose know."
"Fellas, what brings you boys up here this time a night? Not that i'm complainin much since Guinness hasn't had much to say for hisself tonite." The old black lab went up and gave GA his usual greeting, a snuffle and a upward nudge to the nuts, just to make sure a fella knew he was here.
"Guinness, you're a good ol dog" GA bent and gave him a scratch as he was catching his breath.
"Fuckin Feds out on the prowl, Moose. We thought we may as well come and save yer sorry ass from a ride into town with the boys" Bear growled. He had taken up GA's energy as much the older man had calmed since seeing everything was working out.
"They came a roarin' up to the bench with their fancy new Dodge's, but the boys ran 'em off up north, so i think we should be good for the night."
Last edited by HDNB on Sat Oct 18, 2014 4:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: HD novella

Post by Red Rim » Fri Oct 17, 2014 9:36 pm

Back at the store, Truckinbutch told the revenuers a tale about seeing a large still tucked away in the woods, way up north. The tax men got all excited and tore out of town, rocks a flyin.

Truckinbutch turned, looked at us and laughed a great deep laugh. Bwahahaha. We couldn't help but laugh along too. We all knew where "that still" was. That damn thing... That piece of shit was a 55 gallon oil drum, with an aluminum irrigation pipe for a column and a glass thumper to boot. That damn thing is gonna kill someone! Nobody wanted that thing. Hell we leave it there to show the youngons what not to do. . now those fools are headed up there Bwahahahaaa! But just to be safe why don't we send someone up to keep an eye on them.

Butch waddled on over and dialed that slow rotary phone and it seemed to take an eternity. Scritchhh tick tick tick tick, scritch tick tick to k tick, scritch tick tick tick. " hey Teeps, this is Butch, you heard?"." Yup I heard" replied Teeps. "Damn news travels fast" said Butch. " hey whatdoya think bout running up to the old alumistill, and keepin an eye on those bastards" said Butch. " no problem " said Teeps "I am all over it" and with a quick one liner he was off!
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Re: HD novella

Post by Red Rim » Fri Oct 17, 2014 9:50 pm

As the day passed the revenuers decided to make camp and Teeps, slid in real nice and easy so as to get a listen to what they was sayin. He could here them making some plans but couldn't make out the details. Then as the evening rolled around they lit a big fire and started drinking. Now they pulled out there very best, Jack Daniels and Bud light, which made Teeps crinch in his boots. Echk!

A few hours later he could hear them singing. Now he really knew some thing was wrong with them.

The song went; (to the yellow rose of Texas)
When its incest time in Texas and there's no cunt to be found,
Your mothers in the outhouse with her panties half way down,
No time for masturbation, no time to beat your meat,
When its incest time in Texas, mother f*cking can't be beat!


Teeps had enough and slid on home...
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Re: HD novella

Post by HDNB » Sat Oct 18, 2014 6:56 am

Now we gotta get a plastic wrapper for this book when it hits the stands. Damn this hobby just keeps gettin richer and richer.

The hunting party made their way single file around the edge of the coulee; the edge of path fell straight away onto sharp rocks that had collected at the bottom, victims of eons of erosion. No one made a sound as they passed by in the faint light of the moon. these fellas been bow huntin up here since they were little 'uns, out here learning how to track, hide and move with the stealth of a ninja so as not to disturb the flighty game. Rockchucker even carried his bow tonight, that was unusual for him since his throwing arm had made him a star in his junior year. Rock could, quite literally, take the head off a prairie chicken at 30 paces.
The phone jangled on Corene's wall giving her a start. Knowing what she had set in motion had left her with a bit of unease and she had been out on the porch sharpening her arrows and silently musing about the advances coming her way from a few of the more eligible suitors in the neighbourhood, and not just a couple of the married fellas too. Corene had been blessed with a goddess like stature, long and lean muscled from living close to earth, ekeing out her living from the base of the valley. It seemed to her that everytime she stepped out the door she was walkin uphill. The only good thing about that was it was always an easy downhill hike home to the log cabin she had set herself, cut from the massive evergreens that lined the valley.
"Ha! Corene, you shoulda seen them feds carring on" TPee roared into the phone. "them crazy bastards were gettin poisoned on commercial swill and celebratin their incestuist ways" "it's a good thing Mr. Piss got his fence up to keep his goats in, them poor animals would be gettin buggered up in the hills right now!"
"Teeps, whaddya mean? Corene enquired. " I thought them federallies were heading up to the top of the ravine?"
"No, No, No, after they left your place they stopped in at the bench, and Butch sent em on up north to the old alumistill so they'd all have a prize to take home to Virginia." "they took him on his word since he is allways truckin up and down the roads they figgured he must have seen sumthin. Stupid bastards couldn't even find a 55 allon drum with a shiny aluminium column, i'm not even sure thay know what still looks like!"
"Hmm, it would be nice to finally get that eyesore picked up" Corene said, "It's been leaching shit into the ground here since before the 20's"
Then it came to her that the good 'ol boys she sent up coulee to lay some surpise on the Feds may be a bit put out when their quarry didn't show up.
"Teeps, I gotta go" she said hurridly, dropping the handset back into the cradle. Corene grabbed her bow and made out the door...and up the hill as usual.
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Re: HD novella

Post by HDNB » Sat Oct 18, 2014 5:45 pm

BearRiver, GA and Moose were havin a pull off jar 7, fresh off the spout.
"Yassir, thats some fine corn squeezin's there young fella" GA said, drying out his greying walrus moustache with the back of his hand.
"um yum" agreed Bear, mid sip. Just then Guinness stiffened and let a low warning growl rumble from his chest.
All three men instinctively glanced down at the dog and and then turned to face the direction the dog was looking, across the ravine to the west and south down towards the coulee face.
"hoo, h hoo hoo, who" carried in low and quiet on the breeze and on hearing the approach warning from a brother in the secret stillers society, Guinness dropped his hackles and started gingerly picking his way down the path to where a massive spruce had fallen, forming a perfect footbridge over Muckalee creek.
"well now, who the hell is this comin? asked Donny out loud. "didn't know we was having a party up here tonite."
Moose turned to set the jar down in it's place in line and GA an Bear were squinting into the darkness, turning their eyes to see if they could focus the darkness in their peripherial vision, a useful trick SLTM1 had taught them for nights like this when there was just a sliver of moon for illumination.
"shit, i dunno" said Bear, theres no way them ol buggers from the bench would take the coulee path up here. hell, they'd kill themselves."
"maybe it's Ms. Corene " GA volenteered "maybe she got out for an early hunt this morning?"
The silent approach team was anything but now, snapping twigs in earnest, ploughing up the hill behind Guinness. The dog made his way back to the still site, having found his friends down towards the bridge he had given Jimbo and Rock a friendly snout in the nuts to let them know they were welcome. BIG"ass"BOB got a pass on Guinness' usual greeting since he was wearing his kilt and the last time Guiness had given him a snuffle when he was wearing that thing, he had come away sneezing and wuffling, shaking his head as if to shake it right off.
Last edited by HDNB on Sat Oct 18, 2014 6:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: HD novella

Post by ga flatwoods » Sat Oct 18, 2014 6:14 pm

By the time Corene made it to the narrow pass Flatwoods, Moose, and Bearriver had just arrived. She broke the news to them that that the Fed's had made camp and were drinking themselves to stupidity. Now them boys were all worked up good and ready for a scrap. Flatwoods broke out a bottle and invited everyone to take a hard pull. How he carried a quart in them overhauls is still a mystery to most, especially since no one would ever know he had it. Everyone had a big swig. "Now that's just what we needed! How you boys feel now? You just drank some de baddest ass fightin whiskey I done ever made me! You just had some Tasmanian Devil Dew!" Knowing that the law was a far piece away, the talk got louder and and the Taz whiskey got drained. Even Corene started shining in a rare way. Before you know it the talk turned to retribution to them Fed's specialy knowing they done all went and got drunk on confiscated commercial crap. Before anyone could second guess the groupthink, Mr. Flatwoods had done summonsed Jorge, his farm hand to go fetch the flatbed truck with a partial barrel of pine rosin and Jorge's feather pillows! Now Flatwoods was a cunning ole coot and his truck was a little modifed to say the least. He had done mechanic work to the engine that folks round most thise parts had never had any notion as could be done. He also had a diverter in the exhaust that allowed heating of "certain items" if so desired right in the truck bed while the engine was running.
By the time the drunken bunch made it down the draw, Jorge was there with the truck and the pine rosin. In a rush to leave with the truck and get back quickly, Jorge threw all his pillows in the back of the truck, including the cases. Next thing ya know someone was wearing one with the eyes cut out of it like a bank robber. In short order everyone had one for themselves. It was no easy task as Jorge could drive the hell outa that hot rod chevy! In no time at all, the group was close enough to the Fed's that they could see the Dodge trucks with the doors all open parked around a fire and the Feds passed out around the fire. The boys were juiced up, identities hidden, and the pine rosin liquid in character. The fun was about to begin!.....
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Re: HD novella

Post by S-Cackalacky » Sat Oct 18, 2014 6:19 pm

Some things you need to know here - some narration if you will. The federal boys chasing their tails at this point are a diverse and motley bunch - diverse leaning mostly on the side of stupidity. The two leaders, both fat as market ready hogs, can't agree on much of anything and all the others being career followers that couldn't find their way to their own mamma's supper table. That pretty much draws a general picture of these ole boys. Suffice it to say, until this point in their gooberment careers, they have set in the cushy seats of SUVs to reach the destinations of the lives they seek to shit upon. They ain't ready for what's about to befall them in this place.

Another point not yet disclosed in this bit of an absurd story is a little seed of thought that Butch planted in the minds of these idiots back at the liar's bench. His parting words to the feds before they took off on their little wild goose chase - "Boys, there's something evil in the woods round these parts. People go in that don't come out.".

So on with the story...
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Re: HD novella

Post by HDNB » Sat Oct 18, 2014 6:33 pm

Bob, Jim and Rockchucker had had pull of a centre cut jar and decided to make the walk back down to their truck on the high path, since Bearriver had told them there was no Feds to be a huntin they were meant to make their way home an pick up an hour of sleep before the sun came up.
Just as they reached the corner to the general store where the truck was parked, Flatwoods hot-rodded chevy pickup truck went barrelling down the gravel road kicking up plumes of dust, with a box full of hooded banshees screaming for blood.
"Holy shit, Jim" Was that Ms Corene driving flatwoods truck? sheee-it that girl musta been doin near fifty mile n hour!" Rock exclaimed"
"Nah, Said Moose, That was GA's farm hand Jorge, no one drive that ol chevy like him!"
Bob started a sprint to his truck, a old dodge brothers '32 and said "lets get on it boys, This old girl will never keep up with Flatwoods buggy"
"game on!"
Last edited by HDNB on Sun Oct 19, 2014 8:48 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: HD novella

Post by corene1 » Sat Oct 18, 2014 7:19 pm

Ms Corene was way ahead of the other fellas that were headin up to the revenuers camp. There was no way she was riding with that motly crew , she wanted to stay in one piece for a while longer. Little did they know she was there when Teeps was spying on them , he never knew she was there. As she watched the group from her little hide she noticed one of them just didn't seem to fit in. He sat off in the distance and seemed to be disgusted by the antics and vulgarity coming from the mouths of the other revenuers. As she listened in and watched she couldn't help but want to shut these old boys down . A bunch of arrogant self righteous pricks she thought. Again she saw the loner and they called to him . Hey Jed , come on over and join the fun! We are going to have a great time tomorrow beating them old hillbillies down a notch or two! Nah I am fine over here. Why you gotta pick on some good old folks that never harmed you in any manner. They are just scraping out a living here in these old backwoods. She heard the biggest fat man say , " Why Jed Sullivan you going soft on us" . No , Jed replied , I just don't see why a poor boy has to do time and a rich man goes free, just sticks in my craw.

Corene had gotten into her own little truck and took a route that the others had long forgotten about. She got there way ahead of the others and went back into the hide she had used the night before. and as luck would have it all them revenuers was passed out drunk except for Jed, He just sat there and stared at the glowing embers of the campfire. Almost like he was somewhere else in some other time. Slowly he got up and started walking towards the woods taking in all the serenity that the night brought his way . The stars , the little wafts of the campfire, crickets chirping. Yes Corene could see he wasn't like the others, and she kept watching him. Soon he was a full quarter mile from the camp when all hell broke loose. Corene knew that the others had shown up and were going to do some damage to the revenuers. She didn't know how much but they were pretty likkered up too so who knew. Jed heard the ruckus and headed back as fast as he could , when suddenly his legs got taken out from under him and his arm was grabbed and put into a joint lock the likes he had never felt, then the feeling of that ice cold blade against his throat. His arms were taken and put behind him and secured with duct tape then a voice told him be quiet and don't struggle or you will end up just like your buddies. He was shocked! It wasn't a mans voice but that of a woman!
Corene got him up and started the long hike back to her cabin with her freshly captured quarry in hand. She knew he was different and wanted to find out if her instincts were true. Meanwhile the boys were wondering where she was. The truck was there but she was not. Well too bad for her lets get this done boys!
Last edited by corene1 on Sat Oct 18, 2014 7:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: HD novella

Post by jedneck » Sat Oct 18, 2014 7:42 pm

After Corene got Jed back to her cabin she found out that was he not only from the mountains he was married to TB's daughter. They met when they were in the FBI acadamy and it was love at first sight. His family left the Mountians shortly after he learnt to walk. His momma get sick and passed and his pa couldn't stand to be around the memories. So they moved to Missouri. They found a homesteader name Pairrie Piss that let Jed's pa build a little cabin on the corner of the property. Pa stuggled at times to keep the kids fed but managed to raise three boys to be good standing citizens.
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Re: HD novella

Post by corene1 » Sat Oct 18, 2014 8:07 pm

Ms Corene did find out that yes , Jed did fall in love at the academy but it just wasn't to be. The marriage lasted only a few months. The woman was a fierce dominant woman with a dedication to duty that would not let her enjoy any of the simple pleasures that life has to offer. Jed himself knew he wasn't cut out for this life . He had too much of the hills in his blood so he ended the marriage knowing that she would actually be better off without him. She was married to the job anyways. Still he needed to make a living and help support his ailing father. His brothers, while successful had no desire to help in the care if their father, that left Jed to for the task. He didn't mind it one bit though. He had spent every waking moment as a young boy with his father helping him any way he could. He loved his father down to his core. He did have enough education to get a job as a revenuer, but wasn't too pleased at having to chase the same folks he grew up with , and for what? Making a little likker for them selves and their friends, it just didn't seem right. It would get him back to his beloved hills though. Maybe that is why them fellas ended up so off track that fateful night. A little mis guiding by Jed had led them clear off track. He didn't know that Ms Corene and TB had already sent them on a wild goose chase.

As Corene talked and listened to Jed she was slowly seeing that maybe she could trust him and that she could cut him loose. She told him if he tried anything she would cut him from stem to stern and throw him in the woods for the animals to eat. Jed knew from the night before she had the ability and was serious in her claim. So she cut the tape and let him get up from the old wooden chair he had been in for what seemed like days even though it had only been a few hours. Jed's bones and joints were stiff and sore, maybe from being tied or maybe from the whipping he had taken. Either way it was nice to stand and stretch a bit. He felt comfortable in the old wood cabin . It was small but neat and tidy with not much adornment, but comfortable all the same. He missed this simple life and had always yearned to leave the city and come back to it . Maybe this was a sign that it was time. His father was old but still sharp and knew the ways of the woods and how to make do with little of nothing. This got Jeds mind to spinning and talking with Corene for the remainder of the day did nothing but intensify his desire to leave the city and bring his father back with him to the back woods hills, and live the life he was born to live.

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Re: HD novella

Post by Red Rim » Sat Oct 18, 2014 9:59 pm

After the initial run in at the general store, Red, decided he would wander on home and make sure he didn't have anything laying around that might get him into any trouble. As he was busy hiding his stash, he couldn't help but take a few drinks of his favorite brew. One drink lead to another and pretty quick he was feeling no pain and getting a little mischievous. So as he looked around his shop he thought maybe I should share a little with our out of town guests. So be grabbed a bag off the counter and headed out to his truck. Red's truck was dark and quiet so he could slip in and out without being noticed. As he gently headed down the road to the alumistill, he couldn't help but take a big swig of off his favorite bottle.

A little while later Red shut his truck down and grabbed a few items out of the back.
As he crept up, he could hear the Feds carrying on and by the sound of it they were pretty trashed. He could hear them singing a few more songs. Now as they were carrying on Red slipped up to the first rig, peeled the fuel door open, unscrewed the cap and started sharing. Sharing whiskey in its very early stages, namely, sugar. After giving the first rig five pounds he slipped around and filled the second rig up as well. As the sugar slowly funneled down the drain, he thought maybe they might have some brake trouble too. So he scampered back and retrieved a pair of linemans pliers. After putting a slight crimp in multiple lines, he figured that will slow them down, or not!!!

Now slowly retreating away he could hear them chanting " Beastialities best boys, Beastialities best, f*ck a wallaby, Beastialities best boys Beastialities best".
Hmmmm thought Red, maybe I ought to hurry on home and protect my livestock from these heathens!

Little did he know high on the hill was Corene working her magic.
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Re: HD novella

Post by ga flatwoods » Sun Oct 19, 2014 6:24 am

The ride in the back of a flatbed truck on a cold night down a road strewn with rocks and potholes at unmerciful speeds has a way of sobering up even the most drunkmof man! By the time the hooded hooligans reached the g men camp, they were cold and worn from the ride. Some were bitchin' about the driving and never riding along in anything GA drove ever again. "Men weren't meant to go that fast or we would have longer legs!" one uttered. The rational of the predecided act and the potential reprocussions came into focus. "As much as I'd love to, we can't tar and feather them guys. They will bring swarms of others down here to hunt us all down. If'n we kill em the same thing. They will scour these woods for years to come. I got a better idea!"
A couple of the boys slipped back to their farm and soon arrived back while the remaining bunch watched to be sure them revineurs was still passed out. The boys soon arrived back with several hens and a camera. The plan was set into motion!
Each of the federal boys had a hen tied to his belt loop and the end of the string on the hen's leg. The hens beak was taped shut but nit so much it couldn't breath. A small amount of the warm pitch was smeared onto the front of each of the federal's trousers and a little on each hand. The pillow feathers were placed sparingly. GA was impressed by the group as to their stealthily ways, silence and execution of the plan. When all was done, the cheap commercial stuff was replaced by home made, some in masons and some in gallon crocks. Several cases, each with stock removed, were placed onto the dodge trucks them boys came down here in. Then the camera from the newspaper was put to work. The entire scene was photographed. Somewhere in the background someone swore they thought they heard Jimbo and Stringbender playing dueling banjos! A couple more hens were let loose with the ass feathers plucked from them and strewn around the camp and the formerly hooded hooligans turned special ops unit snuck out and headed back to town.
"Sheriff! Sheriff, I hate to wake you up this time of night but I been robbed! Yes, I am sure I know who done it as I heard them singing and talking loud as they was drunked up! I woulda shot em had it not been it was a couple of them federal boys we done seen up to the general store earlier today. Them poor chickens was making some God awful noises as they left. I was awoken Sheriff by the screaming of the lambs from the barn. Sounded just like they was about to be slaughtered! I shutter to think what that was all about!" "I'll be right out there!" the sheriff responded.
The lambs rear ends were covered in blood when the sheriff arrived and he was sickened! He got on the line and had his buddy the Federal Judge get up and meet him for a special ride along. The judge took a little convincing when the sheriff first told him they were going to find a couple chicken thieves but once he got the whole story, he was dressed and ready to go. Unbeknownst to the sheriff the chatty operator was listening in and couldnt wait to tell her other operator girlfriends what she had just heard. By dawn the whole state would come to know of the Revineurs debauchery and wickidness!
When the sheriff and judge arrived on the scene, the party was still passed out and a sickening site it was! The Judge was a highly religious man and the immorality on display here was beyond anything he had ever witnessed. These boys would be put away if he had anything to do with it! "Arrest these guys Sheriff! Use their own cuffs! When I get back to the jail, I will call the Governor myself! The state police will have to come get these boys before a lynch mob gets ahold of them!"........
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Re: HD novella

Post by HDNB » Sun Oct 19, 2014 7:58 am

The sherriff had sent the prisoners on ahead with his deputies. He didn't want them in his car, the lot of them stunk to high heaven chicken shit mixed with smoke from the fire and the two fat feds had been puking since they were rudely awoken with their own handcuffs being snapped on their fats wrists. The sherriff surmised they were puking from fear of the fate that would befall them at the hands of the circuit court judge, RAD.
"it sure wouldn't be from this here booze" he said alound to no one in particular.
The sherriff was a bit confused as to how the Feds had got their hands on some of the county's finest hootch. Certainly they would have been parading around like peacocks with their victim... err...prisoner... had they busted on one of the locals with their personal brew.
"No matter" sherriff thought to himself as he loaded the evidence in the backseat of his PC. There was more than enough there for evidence so he stashed the two almost full gallons into the trunk, knowing that he and Judge RAD would be able to enjoy a few nips at the upcoming poker nights.
RAD had been woken early to make the trip out to the scene and now hear the charges read on this sorry lot, and that had erased his normally sunny dispostion. RAD had been named such by his father, a crusty lawyer that had taken one look at his beautiful newborn baby son and thought the boy "radiated" the peace, beauty and joy of everthing everywhere that creation had to offer.
This morning that was certainly not the case. His short cropped blonde hair was unkempt and even though his broad shoulders squared the judge's robe to a square cut V, anyone could see that he was tired and miserable as a US mule that had been tied to a tree in a rainstorm.
"All Stand!" commanded the bailiff, "this court will now come to order! the honourable Judge RAD presiding!"
The court went quiet as the Judge mounted the platform of his huge desk behind the bar.
Just then the side door opened and the first of the prisoners was escorted into the room, handcuffed and sodden with chickshit and feathers still stuck to the front of his uniform.
The crowd exploded with bedlam.
Last edited by HDNB on Sun Oct 19, 2014 6:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: HD novella

Post by corene1 » Sun Oct 19, 2014 9:35 am

Ms Corene had spent the better part of the night and early morning talking with Jed still trying to figure him out . Was he on the up and up or was he hiding something just playing along till he could spring a trap on the whole bunch of the secret order, that would surely be a big feather in his cap. Or was he being straight forward and honest, she just wasn't sure. Just about then there was a knock on the door, It was Flatwoods coming to tell her of last nights adventure and about the feds that was at the courthouse in front of Judge Rad. some called him the hanging judge just because it suited him . Up front and honest as they come although maybe a bit direct and blunt. One never misunderstood what he was saying , that is for sure!
She invited Flatwoods in and had to tell him of her adventures and about pulling Jed from the mess. Flatwoods instantly started thinking on what was the best thing to do now. That is just how he was, always thinking before doing anything, a unique quality for a man she thought. Well Corene , he said, this will either prove him to be a snake in the grass or if he is truly wanting to come back to the woods . Either way it is going to put all of us in a tight spot. Records will show he was there and not hauled in with the others but , if he defends them and tells the judge of you abducting him you will lose all the trust the society has put into you , and the Feds will come down on us like a hammer. On the other hand if he backs up our little plot against his fellow revenuers that may be a sign that he is truly wanting out. Ultimately you will have to turn him in and let the cards fall where they may. Jed listening quietly in the other room walked in and his response was straight and to the point. Yes I will go to the marshal and back up your story. Serves them perverted bastards right! I have seen them do all kinds of disgusting things to suspects on the promise of not taking them in, then go back on thier word and arrest them anyway. Time they get a taste of their own medicine!

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Re: HD novella

Post by jedneck » Sun Oct 19, 2014 10:05 am

Flatwoods set up a meeting with Rad at Belly Buster's BBQ joint so Jed could turn himself in. Jed told Rad how he was tired of the ratrace and how the fucktards he works for thought that they were better than the Mountian folk. They even went as far as to send a monkey into the hills to cause some mayhem. He told him about all the nasty disgusting stuff that was done. It even made Rads stomach turn with some of the stuff. After the meeting Jed was locked in the local jail to await his fate.
Last edited by jedneck on Sun Oct 19, 2014 2:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: HD novella

Post by ga flatwoods » Sun Oct 19, 2014 1:30 pm

:evil: :D
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Re: HD novella

Post by jedneck » Sun Oct 19, 2014 2:42 pm

The following morning Judge Rad went to see the town historian Goose Eye to get him to dig up all he could find on Jed. Goose send his assistant Mr. Dnderhead to the big city to do some lookin fact finding.
Jed not being a God fearing man but very spiritual , asked Janitor?
Janitor could you ask the nun to come down to pray will me?
Janitor says" Yea I'll get her when I go for lunch in a couple minutes."
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Re: HD novella

Post by HDNB » Sun Oct 19, 2014 6:24 pm

The prison interrogation room at the courthouse was painted kind of a pepto-bismol pink. they said it helped keep the prisoners calm. For Jed, it made him wish for the real thing as he was feeling quite sick to his stomach handcuffed there to the prisoner's bench.
"Well Jed, I believe ya done did your due diligence, coming down from that camp and findin Ms.Corene." Said Judge RAD.
"When SoMO had called the sherriff last night witha story about being robbed by the federal police, it caused quite a stir here, as you can well imagine. The sherriff an me went up to his homestead and even though it didn't seem there was nuthin missing it was pretty obvious that them there lambs had been interfered with. Sherriff found it pretty easy to follow the culprits up to that camp though...it was almost like they left a trail any plain fool coulda followed."
Jed was licking his lips, and swallerin hard, like his adam's apple was going to choke the life right outta him.
"holy shit, bailiff, get this man some water!" commanded the judge "and fer crissakes, get these goddam handcuffs off the man!"
The bailiff was turning for the door to fetch water, and when judge RAD commanded the handcuffs be removed, he spun on his heel and pulled his keys out. Fumbling the keys and tripping all at the same time, the bailiff went white when the judge bellowed "GET THIS MAN SOME WATER!"
The bailiff spun once more, and had it not been for the door knob he surely would have landed in a heap.
"Jed," the judge's tone softened, "Ms Corene came in and 'splained to me that she had found you down the road aways from that camp, and that you had been on foot for a while lookin to make a call in on what you had seen these filthy bastards do. Corene done told me all about the conversation the two you had, how them perverted pricks had laid a beating on you when you wouldn't participate in their thievin' and debauchery."
The baliff came back in with a large glass of water, and unlocking his wrists Jed gulped hungrily from the glass, washing down the rising bile brought on by RAD's narrative and the vile pink walls closing in on him.
Jed was a bit confused. He was expecting a raft of charges for aiding and abetting, mind, he never really had done anything. His loyalties were torn between the thin blue line of the law enforcement family he had known for so long... and here, where his roots where, with the regular folk around Pagosa Springs.
He knew he didn't owe them two fat bastards anything. they were the ones that had laid the boots to him when he wouldn't get with their stupid songs and drinking the commercial likker. The young recruit, Roy... now him, he felt a little sorry for. the stupid young prick had just blindly followed orders like so many LEO's before him. No one had told him to break the law though, and some of the laws these fellas were accused of were against God and Nature, not just the ones they had spelled out back in Virgina.
"What' zactly did Ms. Corene say? asked Jed cautiously.
"Corene explained that you were dispatched with the other three to round up some mooshiners in these here parts. Kinda pisses me off that no professional courtesies were extended by yer department, but she went on to explain you had told her that the four of of you had some JD and Bud lite that y'all had got into after you had figgered there was no shiner's to bust y'all had set up camp and proceeded to consume the devil's drink."
Jed hung his head down low. he knew that even though they had been technically off-duty, they were still on assignment... and he had even enjoyed a coupla Bud Lite.
"I guess you know you are gonna have to face some disipinary action for drinkin while you were on assignment, Jed." RAD's face darkened.
"now Corene explained that was where your participation had ended, and if you are willing to stand up in court and do the right thing, i'll be making a call to your OC and explaining that you have been integral to this investigation."
"uh yessir" Jed stammered. He finally felt the weight of those handcuffs come off fully, and realized that his loyalties lay right here, in the wooded hills of Pagosa Springs.
Jed didn't know of the setup though, when he had left his fellow LEOs, it was cause they were swilling that awful JD shit straight from the bottle and he just couldn't stomach the commercial likker after enjoying his father's family recipes for so long. it started to dawn on him that there was something far more sinister going on when RAD continued.
"Now, i'll be up there on the witness stand right same as you Jed." said the judge.
Whaaa?? now Jed was real confused.
"that's right i saw for mysef what evil deeds them men got up to, robbing SoMo of his hard work and defiling of his lambs."" I been recused for the judging, and it's a damn good thing too, cause i'd see them bastards burn in hell for their sins!"
Oh, my Gawd!! thought Jed, i really am gonna puke!!
"When we found them sorry sons a bitches up in that camp with them ded chickens an their assholes hangin out, well Jed, let me tell you I was sickened. I heard tell of some similar stories back in WWII when them ol boys had been shoulder to cheek in a railway car them Jerries had called a POW camp... but let's face it.... them Nazi bastards would have never throw a chicken in there anyway.""goddam potatoe was a week's meal ration."
RAD's cheek's reddened when he spoke of the war.
"anyway, you're free to go, Jed. people here say you got the right stuff. I hope thats so, cause this trial is gonna draw some attention."
I finally quit drinking for good.

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Re: HD novella

Post by Truckinbutch » Sun Oct 19, 2014 7:09 pm

Butch had been bobbin Ms Corene's cork to encourrage her to rethink her single life . The sound of one hand clapping is silence . That gave her pause for thought when she encountered his single half brother Jed . A product of Butch's Daddy's tramp mining days in the western lands , his genes led him to the true path . It was to the benefit of both him and Ms Corene that she saw the inherent virtue in him instead of just killing him outright as a nuisance vamint .

>Waited to see how that played out before I said much .

>The idea that he had hooked up with that bitch FBI daughter of mine was mistaken . He's the one that tipped me that she was gathering evidence to dime me out . Should have seen the little bitch's face when I told her she had been trying to boff her own uncle to further her career . Life has strange twists and turns .
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Re: HD novella

Post by Bigbob » Sun Oct 19, 2014 8:55 pm

The next morning at the hearing, the federal attorney Mr. Galeoturpis was able to argue that the Feds were not responsible for their actions the night before. Apparently the yeast in the shine they drunk was not fed the correct nutrients of fish oil and fingernails,causing hallucinations and other strange behavior. After a mind numbing 3 hour dissertation on yeast and their need for proper nutrients, There was nothing judge rad could do but release the prisoners!
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Re: HD novella

Post by ga flatwoods » Mon Oct 20, 2014 3:30 am

Now when Bigbob heard the guys at the general store speakin of the yeast and poor fermentation theory causing reason for Judge Rad to have to let the revineurs go, rather than realize it was Liar's Bench bs, he ran with the story and had half the county upset within an hour. Had he been an experienced "bench sitter" he would have known there was more to "the story". Besides, the grandson of the Honorable Judge Roy Bean would be presiding over the case. He was also a preacher that oft preached on the immorality of the modern world and impending fire and brimstones for the wicked of the earth who chose to not follow the correct path of righteousness. There would be no freedom given out so simply as Big Bob was lead to believe.
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Re: HD novella

Post by HDNB » Mon Oct 20, 2014 6:49 am

Yessir, unbeknownenst to BigBob, he had been instrumental in the set up when he had agreed to publish those photos in the town rag he published. "The Springs" was a small community type newspaper and BigBob, being the chief cook and bottle wash as well as the reporter, he was know to take a short cut or two in order to get the paper out by deadline.
The boys on the bench had confused him into thinkin all them revenuers had got out, not just Jed. When that there newpaper hit the stands and BigBob's headline shouted "Revenuers Go Free!!" there was damn near a riot on the lawn outside the courthouse.
Nola, the telphone operator who had been listening in, had spread the word through the small office of cackli'n hens she worked with and within hours, the wickedness and debauchery of those three revenuers had grown beyond belief. Everyone in the state had heard tale of the misdeeds and some much worse'n than t'others.
People had begun arriving in town around noon. and the crowd grew.
There was signs made up callin for the hangin of two upstanding hangin judges!
GA had parked his pickup truck on the side street of the courthouse and the crowd had forced Jorge into firin' up that Chevy so as they could get that pine rosin heating up. Housewives were bringin' in feather pillows and a stack of them grew steadily under the big elm tree on the side lawn.
Hell, a hot dog vendor had set up his rig down on the corner. That was a sure sign the national press was about to descend on Pagosa Springs.
This was turning out even better than GA had imagined when he had set this plan in motion the other night.
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Re: HD novella

Post by S-Cackalacky » Mon Oct 20, 2014 8:57 am

Now, you would think, having been completely humiliated and despised by the locals, them revenuers would have slinked out of town with their tails between their legs. Well, you would be half right. They had revenge on their minds. Ten miles down the road was the lazy little town of Muckluckee Creek and out on the edge of that little town was the Notel motel. The proprietor of that establishment, one Marcel Ledbetter, had been involved in more than a few nefarious endevors in the community. He held a particular grudge against judge Rad – having been busted for pilfering empty beer kegs from the loading dock behind Jimbo's BBQ and Sudz Bar. Judge Rad had sentenced him to 90 days in the county jail, but Marcel had slipped justice on appeal and only received 2 weeks probation.

The fed boys had won Marcel's confidence and he put them up in one of the more discretely located rooms and had them park their vehicles in the secluded rear parking area. They sat there in their room fuming and plotting. At this point they had no clue who to focus their revenge upon. They knew that Jed had turned, but also knew he probably wasn't part of the plot. But, realizing Jed had turned against them, they figured he knew something and because of that he had become the immediate focus of their hateful revenge. In their minds, Jed had become the key to identifying those who had brought on their humiliation and they figured if they could get to Jed, they could find those who had perpetrated this humiliation upon them.

Jed in the meantime had already resigned his post with the ATF and found gainful employment with the Pagosa Springs PD. The chief had assured him that his PD gave a great deal of latitude to shiners that produced for their own consumption. Every bust carried out under his watch had been against known sellers and they had even been known to turn a blind eye under particular circumstances. Butch agreed to take his half-brother in until he settled into his new life. Things were looking good for young Jed.
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