Jokes

Little or nothing to do with distillation.

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cranky
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Re: Jokes

Post by cranky »

goinbroke2 wrote:Trd, the only thing missing is "u"...turd
Every time I see that on a Toyota I always wonder why anybody would buy a TURD truck and what the hell possessed Toyota to do that?
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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

First time I saw a turdyota I thought...
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Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

Truckinbutch wrote:Seems that Comms traffic is slow tonight , Glad to see you putting your time to good use :thumbup:
Well it WAS quiet...thanks TB.... :lol:


I better go...ya bastard..... :wink:
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
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goinbroke2
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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

Ok...really the last one....
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Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
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Jimbo
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Re: Jokes

Post by Jimbo »

"Canadian Daycare" HAHAHA!

In theory there's no difference between theory and practice. But in practice there is.
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Blarney Stoned
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Re: Jokes

Post by Blarney Stoned »

Good one
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Truckinbutch
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Re: Jokes

Post by Truckinbutch »

A recent study has shown that the Smartphone is the #1 handheld device in America .
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.................Edging out the penis by a large margin .
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
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Kareltje
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Re: Jokes

Post by Kareltje »

Some guy wanted to arrange his funeral in time and went to a coffinmaker to select a nice one. So the coffinmaker led him through the showroom and showed him the various choices: a simple wooden coffin, one with a silk lining inside, one that could be painted by his grandchildren and so on. The client looked around, asked questions and got much information. Then in a corner he saw some triangular coffins. So he wondered why these had such a strange form. Then the coffinmaker explained: "These are the coffins for blondes. As soon as you close their eyes, they open their legs."
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hamshine
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Re: Jokes

Post by hamshine »

goinbroke2 wrote:Gimme a smoke boys, c'mon, cory, trevor, lets go

Stupid sexy jullian
ETOH.... yes plz
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goinbroke2
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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

A little bit of dog humor.....
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Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

and yet another....
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Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
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goinbroke2
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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

ok, last one, for now anyway...
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Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
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goinbroke2
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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

Summer is coming....racing season is coming....thought this was fitting! :ebiggrin:
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Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
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Re: Jokes

Post by Lyonsie »

One day little Johnny see's his dad and his auntie Jane heading off into the woods in his dads car. Curious, he hops on his bike and follows them in.
A while later he pedals frantically home to his mom.
Mom he says i just seen daddy and auntie jane in the woods and daddy was helping auntie jane off with her shirt, and then auntie jane helped daddy get his trousers off, and then..
Shush says mom, although this is a really interesting story i think you should save it for dinner. I'd love for daddy to hear it too at the same time.
With that it's dinner time and johnny begins to tell his tale to the table. Earlier i seen daddy and aunt jane head to the woods and help each other undress he says. And what happened next? asked mom as daddy went white.
They did the same thing you and mick from up the road do everytime dads in work replied johnny. Mom fainted :lol:
I thought i was wrong once,
But then i found out i was mistaken.

Kill the women, and rape the men.
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Truckinbutch
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Re: Jokes

Post by Truckinbutch »

Wish we had a 'Like' button here . :thumbup:
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
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Kareltje
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Re: Jokes

Post by Kareltje »

:thumbup:

Peter comes into a bar and orders a beer.
Next he takes a cap of a drink bottle and askes to get a bit of beer in it.
The bartender knows Peter as a funny guy and gives him a bottlecap of beer.
Peter takes a large beetle out of his pocket, puts it on the bar and the beetle start to drink from the cap.
The bartender starts some conversation with Peter and Peter explaines how he has been on a trip with his friend Karel to Africa and how they have seen a lot of people and cultures. But at some time they got lost and almost starved.
But at last they found a village and were rescued.
The bartender said: "How lucky you were! What was the name of the village?"
Then Peter says: "Good question! I do not know!"
And he bows down to the beetle and asks: "He Karel: this village where you fucked the sorcerers daughter, what was it called?"
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Re: Jokes

Post by bilgriss »

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there’s a knock on the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’
RedwoodHillBilly

Re: Jokes

Post by RedwoodHillBilly »

SketchyUber.jpg
Lyonsie
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Re: Jokes

Post by Lyonsie »

Paddy walks into a bar and the bartender asks, " why the long face? "
Iv just found out my wife is shagging the neighbour says paddy so iv decided to drink myself to death.
"fuck that" says the barman "jesus i cant help ya so."
"Well what the fuck would you do then so says paddy?"
Bartender sticks his chest out and says "well i wouldn't sit around feeling sorry for myself, I'd kill yr man stone dead."
Thats a great idea says paddy and legs it out the door.

A few hours later and the bartender is starting to feel a bit worried when suddenly in walks paddy. "Well how did you get on?" Says the barman nervously "did ya kill him or what?"
No says paddy but im after getting some ride off your wife, can i have a large whiskey please :lol:
I thought i was wrong once,
But then i found out i was mistaken.

Kill the women, and rape the men.
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Truckinbutch
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Re: Jokes

Post by Truckinbutch »

Was talkin to Jed last week . Like y'all that know him know , Jed piles all his winter manure from his barn to compost until spring and then spreads it on his garden . He likes to keep it neat as well as you can keep a neat pile of shit .
Anyhow , a murder of crows invaded his shit pile and started making a mess of it . When Jed was around he would use his shotgun to discourage that .
Anyhow , he ran out one day and all but one of the crows took flight . That one was such a glutton that he had ate too much to directly take flight . The crow was desperate . He knew Jed was coming to kill him .
Looking around from the top of the pile He spied a pitchfork Jed had left stuck horizontally into the side of the pile . He charged down that slope , leapt to the end of the fork , and sprung off it like it was a diving board .
Flapping for all he was worth he flew straight up to about 300 feet or so and inertia was overcome by lack of power . Plummeted straight back to the ground and splattered .
Jed tole me that he found a moral in that :
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You just shouldn't fly off the handle when you are full of shit ....................
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
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Bushman
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Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a Gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table..He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as s...he popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'

They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks... They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.

After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the tri mmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!

'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman.. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No,' she replies. . .....





She said .... ......:

'You just happened to catch my eye.'
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skow69
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Re: Jokes

Post by skow69 »

That slays me, Bushman. I'm still laughing.
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shadylane
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Re: Jokes

Post by shadylane »

Anyone remember the ford truck commercial?
The one that said 97% of all ford trucks were still on the road
I figure the other 3% made it back to the garage .... ..
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Re: Jokes

Post by Badmotivator »

An old man is in the doctors office getting some test results. The doctor sits him down and says, "Well, the news is pretty bad. You have Alzheimer's and you also have cancer."

The old man grimaces, and then brightens a bit and says, "That is bad, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's."
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Truckinbutch
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Re: Jokes

Post by Truckinbutch »

Alice ? Who the fuck is Alice ? (Anybody remember that one ?)
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
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Truckinbutch
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Re: Jokes

Post by Truckinbutch »

shadylane wrote:Anyone remember the ford truck commercial?
The one that said 97% of all ford trucks were still on the road
I figure the other 3% made it back to the garage .... ..
:oops: You could have talked all day without bringing that up :moresarcasm:
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
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Still Life
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Re: Jokes

Post by Still Life »

Honey! I cut my finger off!
The whole finger??
No. The one next to it!
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goinbroke2
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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

I got a letter the other day from my oldest, joined the army. I never thought nothing of it but after my buddy took in to laughing after reading it I decided to post it here.

Dear Mom and Dad:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Alex and Brother Dawson the Army beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Alex and Dawson all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there’s warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Alex and Dawson you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.


We go on “route marches,” which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.

This next will kill Alex and Dawson with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain’t like fighting with that ole bull at home. I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from the other side of Tupper Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5’6″ and 130 pounds and he’s 6’8″ and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Alex and Dawson to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.


Your loving daughter,
Alice

Gotta love it when your Daughter is finding her place in life huh?
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
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goinbroke2
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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

Guess who's on duty again.....

Oh well, here we go;
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pic 1.jpg
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pic4.jpg
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
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goinbroke2
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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

A couple more because...well, you know...
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pic5.jpg
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
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