Jokes

Little or nothing to do with distillation.

Moderator: Site Moderator

User avatar
thecroweater
retired
Posts: 6079
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 9:04 am
Location: Central Highlands Vic. Australia

Re: Jokes

Post by thecroweater »

Saltbush Bill wrote:Your in MT territory there Crow :roll:
Prolly where I heard it :lol: :thumbup:
Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. Benjamin Franklin
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

"That parrots DEAD!"


"No its not"

:lol:
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
Bushman
Admin
Posts: 17986
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2010 5:29 am
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

RedwoodHillBilly wrote:
SockEye.jpg
Reminds me of an albino salmon?
Lyonsie
Swill Maker
Posts: 316
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:22 am

Re: Jokes

Post by Lyonsie »

Just got this text message off a friend. I apologise in advance but still had to share.

Have you ever wondered if your mom gave you a kiss goodnight after giving your dad a blowjob?
Well you are now.
I thought i was wrong once,
But then i found out i was mistaken.

Kill the women, and rape the men.
User avatar
Badmotivator
Angel's Share
Angel's Share
Posts: 937
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2015 9:01 pm
Location: Oregon

Re: Jokes

Post by Badmotivator »

Along those same lines, it's sobering to think that pretty much every hand you've ever shook has held a penis. Some quite recently.
User avatar
Still Life
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 1545
Joined: Fri Apr 22, 2016 4:24 pm
Location: Great State Of Missouri

Re: Jokes

Post by Still Life »

Badmotivator wrote:Along those same lines, it's sobering to think that pretty much every hand you've ever shook has held a penis. Some quite recently.
Which technically means wieners have touched. Still Life doesn't swing that way. Thanks a lot for the reality thought.
Lyonsie
Swill Maker
Posts: 316
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:22 am

Re: Jokes

Post by Lyonsie »

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too! "
"What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating."
"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman.
"What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?"
"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynaecologist told me I'm pregnant!"
"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."
"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
"I switched cocks," he replied.
She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"!!
I thought i was wrong once,
But then i found out i was mistaken.

Kill the women, and rape the men.
The Baker
Master of Distillation
Posts: 4659
Joined: Sun Aug 27, 2006 4:48 am
Location: Northern Victoria, Australia

Re: Jokes

Post by The Baker »

Badmotivator wrote:Along those same lines, it's sobering to think that pretty much every hand you've ever shook has held a penis. Some quite recently.
And that includes most of the ladies.

Geoff
The Baker
User avatar
Truckinbutch
Angel's Share
Angel's Share
Posts: 8107
Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2013 12:49 pm

Re: Jokes

Post by Truckinbutch »

The Baker wrote:
Badmotivator wrote:Along those same lines, it's sobering to think that pretty much every hand you've ever shook has held a penis. Some quite recently.
And that includes most of the ladies.

Geoff
This has gone quite nasty enough without me telling a bad story about revenge porn .
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
RedwoodHillBilly

Re: Jokes

Post by RedwoodHillBilly »

ButtHurtBunny.jpg
ButtHurtBunny.jpg (14.17 KiB) Viewed 2615 times
User avatar
HDNB
Site Mod
Posts: 7360
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:04 am
Location: the f-f-fu frozen north

Re: Jokes

Post by HDNB »

Did you hear about the new menu offerings on United airlines?
Chinese takeout
I finally quit drinking for good.

now i drink for evil.
Hank Reardon
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 394
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2016 8:02 pm

Re: Jokes

Post by Hank Reardon »

HDNB wrote:Did you hear about the new menu offerings on United airlines?
Chinese takeout
That is so bad it is funny.
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

Have you been on United's site lately?
Attachments
united-book-a-flight-do-you-want-to-use-a-18772065.png
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

How bout this?
Attachments
17522863_10210961937838242_3713937924320262475_n.jpg
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

tasteless?
Attachments
4.jpg
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

And just cause I can laugh at myself too...
Attachments
3.jpg
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

Speaking of making fun of myself...
Attachments
222.jpg
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
thecroweater
retired
Posts: 6079
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 9:04 am
Location: Central Highlands Vic. Australia

Re: Jokes

Post by thecroweater »

Did here united have less of a problem with overbooking now.
Hear Greyhound at are saying why not travel with up, cheaper than flying could end up being quicker and you are way less likely to get clubbed like a baby fur seal
Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. Benjamin Franklin
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

Gimme a smoke boys, c'mon, cory, trevor, lets go
Attachments
1.jpg
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

I seriously laughed out loud when I saw this...maybe I'm twisted?
Attachments
2.jpg
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

Mmmm ham sammich
Attachments
3.jpg
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

Nice set of tools eh?
Attachments
6.jpg
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

Hey, I think I've been there..
Attachments
7.jpg
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

Trd, the only thing missing is "u"...turd
Attachments
8.jpg
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

This is SOOOOO true!!
Attachments
10.jpg
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

Ok, just a couple more..
Attachments
11.jpg
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

ok, last one, I promise, ish...
Attachments
12.jpg
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

thecroweater wrote:Did here united have less of a problem with overbooking now.
Hear Greyhound at are saying why not travel with up, cheaper than flying could end up being quicker and you are way less likely to get clubbed like a baby fur seal
WAITER!! I'll have what he's drinking please... :lol:

I got what you mean Crow, too true, but then you got the whole head cut off with a sword thing going on...(maybe only Canadians will get that) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Tim_McLean" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
Truckinbutch
Angel's Share
Angel's Share
Posts: 8107
Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2013 12:49 pm

Re: Jokes

Post by Truckinbutch »

Seems that Comms traffic is slow tonight , Glad to see you putting your time to good use :thumbup:
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
Lyonsie
Swill Maker
Posts: 316
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:22 am

Re: Jokes

Post by Lyonsie »

Just noseyed about getting a visa. Are you a terriost? :lol: :lol: :lol: sad thing is thats no longer funny.
Spouse’s Address: SAME AS HOME ADDRESS
Work / Education / Training Information
Primary Occupation: BUSINESS
Present Employer or School Name: STAR BAZAAR
Address: 2345 KHAR LANE
City: MUMBAI
State/Province: MAHARASHTRA
Postal Zone/Zip Code: 400011
Country: INDIA
Month Salary in Local Currency: 45,000
Briefly Describe your Duties: SALESMAN
Security and Background Information
Do you have a communicable disease of public
health significance such as tuberculosis (TB)?
NO
Do you have a mental or physical disorder that
poses or is likely to pose a threat to the safety or
welfare of yourself or others?
NO
Are you or have you ever been a drug abuser or
addict?
NO
Have you ever been arrested or convicted for any
offense or crime, even though subject of a
pardon, amnesty, or other similar action?
NO
Have you ever violated, or engaged in a
conspiracy to violate, any law relating to
controlled substances?
NO
Are you coming to the United States to engage in
prostitution or unlawful commercialized vice or
have you been engaged in prostitution or
procuring prostitutes within the past 10 years?
NO
Have you ever been involved in, or do you seek to
engage in, money laundering?
NO
Do you seek to engage in espionage, sabotage,
export control violations, or any other illegal
activity while in the United States?
NO
Do you seek to engage in terrorist activities while
in the United States or have you ever engaged in
terrorist activities?
NO
Have you ever or do you intend to provide
financial assistance or other support to terrorists
or terrorist organizations?
NO
Are you a member or representative of a terrorist
organization?
NO
Have you ever ordered, incited, committed,
assisted, or otherwise participated in genocide?
NO
Have you ever committed, ordered, incited,
assisted, or otherwise participated in torture?
NO
Have you committed, ordered, incited, assisted,
or otherwise participated in extrajudicial killings,
political killings, or other acts of violence?
NO
Have you, while serving as a government official,
been responsible for or directly carried out, at any
time, particularly severe violations of religious
freedom?
NO
Have you ever sought to obtain or assist others to
obtain a visa, entry into the United States, or any
other United States immigration benefit by fraud
or willful misrepresentation or other unlawful
means?
NO
Have you ever withheld custody of a U.S. citizen
child outside the United States from a person
granted legal custody by a U.S. court?
NO
Have you voted in the United States in violation of NO
Consular Electronic Application Center - Print Application Page 3 of 4
I thought i was wrong once,
But then i found out i was mistaken.

Kill the women, and rape the men.
Post Reply