Little white lies, and material aquisition

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Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby Fruit Squeezer » Wed Apr 18, 2018 6:01 pm

I don't know if this belongs here or the liar's bench.
Not everyone can legally buy stills, or parts, or materials openly.
So, for alot of us, a little white dog comes at the expense of a few white lies. Here are a few that I used to build my first Boka column: (feel free to add yours, please)

1. I'm looking for copper sheet, cause my wife wants to make a sign for our garden that will age quickly outside.

2. When asking around about tubing or fittings, "it's for a pool heater" usually ends the interrogation and suggestions at the home improvement store, cause even a licensed plumber doesn't know what the hell a pool heater looks like.

3. I also used "for a home made pool heater" when asking around about decomissioned kegs. (Which are harder to find than an honest politician).

4. It has to be a stainless valve, because the one I broke was stainless, and if the boss finds out i'm in deep shit.

5. I homebrew beer, and I saw how to make one on youtube for heating/transfering the brew. (Their eys glaze over when you start talking about wort, sparging grains, chilling to conversion temp, etc)

6."I can't use brass because it's for brewing beer. No lead"

7.(i'm going to hell for this one) "It's for my moms church group, they're planning a bake sale". <---buying yeast / cornmeal
"Making batter for a fish/chicken fry"<--- corn flakes
[to be used in the near future]
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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby pfshine » Thu Apr 19, 2018 7:13 am

So what's this for anyway? Stuff.. and things. Now give it to me or go away.
But if I'm feeling nice it's usually just beer brewing stuff or art stuff, but if I'm feeling a bit impish it's,
I'm making some gaudy fountain for some rich a--holes dumb wife and they keep changing the damn plans! That usually shuts them up, even got a discount once for that one.
Life is a journey you take alone. Make sure you do what you what makes you happy
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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby Twisted Brick » Thu Apr 19, 2018 4:32 pm

I showed the feed store staff pictures of my brick oven so they would know all my grain purchases would be made into artisan bread. One of the guys looked up and said "most guys like you (don't own horses or chickens) use all their grain to make likker. And.... they're always calling up asking if we carry rye."
“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake.”

- W.C. Fields
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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby Truckinbutch » Thu Apr 19, 2018 6:30 pm

It would make a good thread on 'The Bench' , but this is your deal . Good start . Come on over if you care to sit a spell .
Where I live , the off the wall stories don't fly .
Canny , overworked and underpaid folks at the counter of the plumbing supply just give you 'the LOOK" and say ,"We don't have time for the bullshit ! What size still you building ? We can size everything for you and save you some money on your build ."
Guy at the feed store asks what you are feeding and you say ,"Yeast."
You just made two valuable friends that will want to come and visit on a casual basis .
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby Twisted Brick » Thu Apr 19, 2018 7:01 pm

Truckinbutch wrote:Canny , overworked and underpaid folks at the counter of the plumbing supply just give you 'the LOOK" and say ,"We don't have time for the bullshit! What size still you building? We can size everything for you and save you some money on your build ."
Guy at the feed store asks what you are feeding and you say ,"Yeast."
You just made two valuable friends that will want to come and visit on a casual basis .


Words spoken by a tried and true veteran. After a few casual sippin' visits, the plumbing sales guy should leave with the quintessential knowledge of how to upsale the next stillbuilder...
“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake.”

- W.C. Fields
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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby Appalachian spirits » Thu Jul 26, 2018 2:19 am

A humerous post and i enjoyed it lol. I once told a cashier at sams club i was buying 200 pounds of suger because the ladies at the church were making apple butter to raise funds. See you in hell i suppose
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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby just sayin » Thu Jul 26, 2018 3:59 am

Last time I bought 50 pounds of sugar at Costco I actually was making applebutter...
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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby Expat » Thu Jul 26, 2018 2:03 pm

I don't bother to explain why I want things, and I don't offer details when asked.

Can't see why it would be anyways business why I want something as inoffensive as most of the supplies we need.
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https://homedistiller.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=71855
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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby Alchemist75 » Thu Jan 10, 2019 6:05 pm

Assuming anyone asks me, which only one or two have, I tell them the truth. Most folks I've run into and talked to about my hobby just get excited by the idea. Owning a still where I live isn't illegal in and of itself, distilling booze is but you can literally get distillation equipment here retail.
SOLVE ET COAGULA, ET HABEBIS MAGISTERIUM
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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby OtisT » Thu Jan 10, 2019 6:19 pm

Love this thread. :thumbup: :thumbup:

First time I bought 70 lb of feed grade molasses, then asked casually what it was for. “Is it for x or y?” I did not want to get into a long discussion about how it would be used, so I told them it was for my best friend who just lost his wife. I was on my way out to see him and asked if there was anything he needed. He is a farmer and asked if I could bring a few buckets of molasses for his animals because he has not had time to get out and get it himself. No further discussion about how it will be used, and they thought I was an angle.

It’s the old “bachelor farmer excuse”. That excuse, in one form of another, has worked for me in many instances.

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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby nerdybrewer » Thu Jan 10, 2019 6:44 pm

For them using the good little old ladies of the Church...
If you're the type who believe that absolution is necessary here's what you gotta do.
Next time they have a sale get your lying ass down there and buy a good amount of whatever they are selling.
This is a good deal, you get to eat some damn fine church lady food and be absolved - Win Win!
Cranky's spoonfeeding:
http://homedistiller.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=52975

Time and Oak will sort it out.
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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby bronctoad » Thu Jan 10, 2019 7:24 pm

Otis T
The last time I bought a couple pails of feed grade, the nice cashier asked in a conspiratorial whisper if I was using it to bait deer.
like her uncle. Seein as that illegal activity didn't upset her :ewink: I smiled and went with her excuse :ebiggrin:

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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby Canadiannewb » Fri Jan 11, 2019 9:10 am

I was just at Home Depot, was looking at copper fittings for my condenser. He asked me, what I needed it for. I told him my daughter is doing a science project. It's about purifying water in a post-apocalyptic world.
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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby rubelstrudel » Fri Jan 11, 2019 10:47 am

My buddy at work was sourcing parts for a still at a plumbers back in the early 80s. Vague about purpose of the parts.

The plumber looked at the parts and said: This won't do. I have a better plan for you - and came back with building instructions for a slant plate column that had been developed by som students at the local university.

My buddy still has this apparatus at his farm.
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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby Fruit Squeezer » Fri Jan 11, 2019 6:13 pm

+1 NerdyBrewer.
I may have to purchace some good graces from my local church bake sale.
I live in a small town, and word gets around.
Chances are, they may be my jury pool some day!
Lol
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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby kiwi Bruce » Sat Jan 12, 2019 10:21 am

this IS a very fun topic...+1
I'm not insane...I just help out at the asylum when they're low on patients(1958 Goon Show)
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Re: Little white lies, and material aquisition

Postby NZChris » Sat Jan 12, 2019 10:51 pm

I live in New Zealand.

A lady in the supermarket asked if I was making jam when she saw how much sugar I had in my trolley. "Nah, I'm making corn likker!"
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