The liar's bench

Little or nothing to do with distillation.

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CoogeeBoy
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by CoogeeBoy »

I had a huge row with my first wife today, she told me to pack my get out of the house in no uncertain terms.

She said: "I hope you have a miserable, boring and painful life!"

I said "Make up your mind, one minute your telling me to go and now you want me to stay?"
Taking a break while I get a new still completed....
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by CoogeeBoy »

Annual Coogee Ninja Parade this weekend.
I been taking the kids for 10 years and every year its no disappointment. The way those ninjas slip past entirely unnoticed never ceases to amaze me.
Taking a break while I get a new still completed....
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goinbroke2
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by goinbroke2 »

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. 36 years in the army with “lots” of deployments I could tell you stories that you say “NO WAY “ but then I’d show you the pictures… and no, not photoshopped or whatever.

I find life in general can be very unbelievable if you are the type that doesn’t follow the normal path. For example, who would believe, standing in the burnout box of a local drag strip,a guy doing a burnout blows the driveshaft off and the u joint goes by my head like a bullet sticking into the plywood sign behind me and the driveshaft rolls out and stops an inch or so from my feet? Only if you were there or have been to a drag strip would/could you believe it. Others would say “yeah, whatever” but it did happen.

That said, I cannot confirm nor deny the credibility of any prior stories legitimacy.
Or, those to come. 😝
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
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goinbroke2
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by goinbroke2 »

And you have to be able to laugh at yourself, like the time I bought a porn DVD, put in on and all I could see was a dark picture of a guy holding his Johnson… then I realized the tv wasn’t on!


Yup, the older I get, the better I used to be!
I always laugh though that no matter how “good” of a person you are, your still an asshole in someone’s story. 😆
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
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goinbroke2
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by goinbroke2 »

So, about a month ago I came upon a car accident, woman rear ended a pickup. Pickup driver was unhurt but the woman had a bloody nose because when the airbag went off it fired the “therapy stones” at her like a claymore mine. She glued stones to her steering wheel!!!
Anyway, she was lucky that’s all the happened but she was bitching and complaining about everything. I recognized her for what she was, a self important Karen. After confirming there was nothing seriously wrong and 911 was called I was talking to the pickup driver. The woman comes up bitching about ambulance time. She asked me “how long is the ambulance going to be” so with a straight face I said “16 ft, 8 inches”.
Buddy laughed and she stormed back to her car.

I’m thinking, lady, you got a bloody nose from your own stupidity, life must be hard when you’re that stupid.
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
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Oldvine Zin
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by Oldvine Zin »

S-Cackalacky wrote: Mon Jun 07, 2021 6:22 pm I heard I could find every lying bastard on the forum in this one place.
Welcome back s-crack might be the only truth on the liar's bench

Stay safe
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by S-Cackalacky »

Good to be back. I'll be around from time to time to relieve myself of falsehoods.
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by River Rat »

Good to see you back S-Cack. I was lurking around here long before joining, as most do, and I learned some good stuff from your posts. And that's no tall tail.
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by Setsumi »

so my neck of woods experienced in the '70s and '80s embargoes and sanctions. one was on oil and feul. so we had rations on feul, drastic speedlimits and limits on sale of feul and you could not travel with feul in a can/drum. so a respected farmer that had to travel often between farms that was ways apart loaded a drum of diesel on his truck. one day he came upon a person stranded and the guy asked if he could spare some diesel. farmer obliged and after parting with some diesel was arrested for being in possesion of feul. he got a fine and his diesel was confiscated. now that did not sit well with him. so a few months later same thing happened, again he stopped to help and after trasfering some diesel he was arrested again. he asked the reason and the imposter told him he is in possesion of feul and his diesel will be confiscated. he looked at the guy and said, "you are most welcome to take the drum of cow pee and do with it what ever you want".
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goinbroke2
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by goinbroke2 »

When I was a kid, the cops got snowmobiles and started driving around our area (farm land 20 miles to the nearest cop shop)
Does the same crap, stops and opens the hood, when someone stops to help, they get nailed with no plates or whatever. ( nobody had plates/ registration/ insurance on sleds for hauling wood etc in the farm) So word got around and couple of older guys (late teens) decided to do something about it. The cop was spotted and the two of them drove over, one stopped about 20’ away and the other went on by. The cop got off and walked over in the 4’ of snow and when he was close the guy hit the throttle and took off. At the same time, the other guy went by with a rope and hook and caught the opened hood. Ripped the hood and all the wires off the sled and they kept going. Couple days later there’s another cop on a sled and a police pickup sitting at the end of the power line. Boys waited until the cops were standing together talking on the power line, stopped a couple poles back and started yelling at the cops, saying it’s shitting thing to do, catching people who are trying to help others, etc, etc. As they’re arguing with him, the second guy knifed all the tires and the spare on the truck. He broke two windows out before the cops came running, then took off the other direction. Dad drove the tractor down by the truck when the cops were standing there and asked innocently what happened. One of the cops asked dad why there was no plate on the tractor. Dad said you guys don’t learn, do you. And ignored them as he drove away.
Cops never came back after that.
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
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SassyFrass
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by SassyFrass »

Strange, but we only had 2 state cops in the county where I grew up. The one on my end of the county didnt write many tickets and would stop and help folks out if needed. He was well liked and respected by most everyone around. He was there many years. Now, the other end of the county was a different story. If I remember right, not many of those fellers lasted longer than a year or two before getting transferred somewhere else. State kept sending tuff guys in to control the crazy hillbillies. For some reason their cars kept getting run over by coal trucks or crushed by a load of logs or something else bad happened to them. Odd how stuff seems to work out, ain't it?
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Re: The liar's bench

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some years back a few friends and colleagues booked a hunt in the kalahari, place with lush veld and red sand. trip went well but when we entered the last town one of the trucks started to over heat. we stopped at the local repairs and soon the trouble was identified but some boys wonderd off to the local watering hole. negotiating the repaires we on the other trucks decided to tranfer the gear to the remaining trucks and to leave the ailing truck for repairs. and then we also got thirsty. since we spend some time sorting everything out we informed the farmer that we will be late and decided to rather eat dinner in town than to rush to the farm. farmer informed us that he will not be there when we arrive but his trackers will wait and help us set camp. now it took a while and a few drinks for all to be ready to leave the table for the farm. when we got to the farm the air was crisp and a bright moon lit the tracker's faces. in no time we had a fire going and the fresher persons set tents, the brave opted to sleep next to the fire. and then the real thirst took hold. just outside the fire light was the relieve and it looked out over a vast plain. at one time most of the guys were there because of the long day and what a sight in the sky? 3 big brightly lit circles.... the trackers confirmed they see it quite often. most phones snapped the ufo's and all contacts marveld or ignored the messages. next morning, the ufo's were still there, we call it a windpump. a tall tower with a galvanized wheel that spins in the wind to draw water in rural areas.
My first flute
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subbrew
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by subbrew »

This bench has been vacant over the summer. Not that I have a good story to lie about, but just want to complain. Can't believe summer is almost gone and I still have a shitload to do. Have not moved all the dirt I wanted to enlarge my shooting berm. Honey harvest is coming in a couple of weeks, so several days work there. Cane sorghum will will be ready to press shortly so a day there. Apples are starting to ripen and hope to press 12 or 15 hundred lb this year (make a party out of that one, friends over, belt up the hit and miss to run the grinder and have a good time). And my wife just got a new landscape plan put together that involves me moving about 200 yds of dirt. Not to mention I also need to start and complete my modular electric still build.

And here is the funny part. I have stopped having a couple of drinks in the evening so I can work a couple of more hours in the evening. And most of the projects involve collecting some sort of fermentable that I will eventually turn into alcohol. So I have had to stop drinking so I have the time to make drink.

On the good side last winters UJSSM and rum are coming along, and other 9 months or so and I hope it is even better. I will leave this small bottle of UJSSM under the bench for the next person to sit and bitch.
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River Rat
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by River Rat »

subbrew wrote: Tue Aug 17, 2021 1:37 pm belt up the hit and miss to run the grinder and have a good time
That does sound like a good time. I'm thinking I've seen a picture of that floating around here somewhere? If not you should share one!
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subbrew
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Re: The liar's bench

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River Rat wrote: Tue Aug 17, 2021 5:02 pm
subbrew wrote: Tue Aug 17, 2021 1:37 pm belt up the hit and miss to run the grinder and have a good time
That does sound like a good time. I'm thinking I've seen a picture of that floating around here somewhere? If not you should share one!
Will make a video when the day comes
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Re: The liar's bench

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Well, work continues on the new stillhouse... I've apparently not been the only one remiss in holding down the bench, but hanging wood on the interior walls of the new shop/stillhouse has taken over my reality. Putting all the wood on a 45 degree angle is purty but a bit time consuming. But, that's what the old timers called storm boxing and they always said doing it this way would make the building stronger than running the wood vertical or horizontal. I figured I'd be done and cooking again by now, but after back surgery and a few other health issues, I'm not moving as quick as I used to move. Anyway, I gotta get back to it. I found a jug of dio palinka, I made a bunch of years ago and I'll just leave it under the bench for whoever needs a snort. Yall have a great day.
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subbrew
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Re: The liar's bench

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Glad to report making some progress. Sorghum pressed and turned to syrup will try making a rum like drink later, thread here. https://homedistiller.org/forum/viewtop ... 40&t=84486.

Honey harvested for 777 lb of honey sitting in jars and buckets.

And a little overboard on the apples, best estimate is 2200 lb pressed which after giving some away and using some fresh, etc leaves about 70 gallons that the yeast are working on. https://homedistiller.org/forum/viewtop ... 40&t=84486

And if fedex comes through this week with the last of the parts my modular electric still will be finished this weekend. I even managed to spend some time moving dirt to expand the shooting berm, not enough but larger than it was.

Direct link to the apple pressing video as river rat requested

So it has been a good month. And I just read today that the Penn state liquor board is restricting sales of certain bottles to two per person (state run stores there). So as supplies tighten we can all sit on the bench and smile as we don't care.
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by SassyFrass »

Lordy Subbrew, yall been busy. Building berms, working apples, etc... thats quite a bit.
Almost forgot...KY ain't rationing how much store bought likker folks can buy yet. But it wouldnt surprise me if they tried. I ain't bought bonded likker in a long long time. I reckon I might have a little bit put back that would do thru hard times.
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by NormandieStill »

SassyFrass wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 11:24 am Putting all the wood on a 45 degree angle is purty but a bit time consuming. But, that's what the old timers called storm boxing and they always said doing it this way would make the building stronger than running the wood vertical or horizontal.
Very true. You're making triangles which means that the building will resist racking forces much better than with horizontal or vertical siding where you're relying on tight fitting boards to provide the resistance. In building... triangles are everything!
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by CoogeeBoy »

subbrew wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 12:46 pm So it has been a good month. And I just read today that the Penn state liquor board is restricting sales of certain bottles to two per person (state run stores there). So as supplies tighten we can all sit on the bench and smile as we don't care.
Why would they do that?
Taking a break while I get a new still completed....
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by River Rat »

subbrew wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 12:46 pm Direct link to the apple pressing video as river rat requested
You can bet I came back to check it out too. Looks like a good time!
I just heard about the rationing on the radio this morning. Good thing we're prepared :D
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by subbrew »

CoogeeBoy wrote: Wed Sep 22, 2021 4:25 pm

Why would they do that?
I suspect supply chain problems related to trucking. The industry is having a lot of trouble finding drivers and now spare and replacement parts for the trucks are getting in short supply as well. Might want to consider buying some extra toilet paper again if you got your last stash used.
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by Truckinbutch »

Sorry I ain't been around for a while . Been having a few health issues . Several surgeries and a couple more in the near future . At 71 and counting I'm just too cranky to socialize much when I'm in a bit of misery . I expect that attitude to improve in the near future .
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Re: The liar's bench

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Truckin, glad to see you back. Had missed your posts. Hope the surgeries did the trick and have you up and around. The whole getting old thing certainly could wait a while for all I care. Getting out of bed and feeling like I was in a fight the previous night when all I did was sleep on the wrong position sucks.
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by Saltbush Bill »

Miss your stories here on the bench Butch, been wondering why you hadn't been around.
Hope all goes well with the surgeries and good health returns soon.
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by MichiganCornhusker »

Glad to see ya back on the bench, Butch, hope the ailments become a thing of the past soon.
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by SassyFrass »

Welcome back to the bench Butch.
Simple Lil' Pot Still, no temp guage, no carbon, no scrubbers, nuthin' fancy. Sometimes use a thumper, sometimes don't.

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Truckinbutch
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by Truckinbutch »

Last procedure was a rotorooter job on the artery in my left leg .
Looksome young gal came in to prep my groin for an incision . Obviously new at the job and nervous . When she unwrapped that razor I looked at her and said;"You go careful down there , Gal ; I haven't saved a whole lot for retirement ."
She didn't know whether to shit or wind her watch . She went careful . I still got what I went in with .
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by cob »

Best wishes TB
be water my friend
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Re: The liar's bench

Post by The Baker »

And best wishes from me too.

Geoff
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