33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

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33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by apdb » Wed Aug 20, 2014 4:36 am

(stolen from a website) :D

1. Our president is called a Prime Minister.

2. Baltimore, Maryland has more murders in a week than the entire nation of Canada does all year.

3. You don't have to be born in Canada to be Prime Minister.

4. Canadians do not find, "Say 'eh' for me," to be particularly funny.

5. Canada has rednecks, too.

6. We're a lot bigger than you, in land mass, but our population is considerably less. The populations of Los Angeles and New York City would be around 30 million people. The entire nation of Canada has around 32 million people. Due to the fact that most of our country is in the northern latitudes, we huddle close to the border, for warmth.

7. In the War of 1812, we kicked your butts. The reason why your Whitehouse is white is because we set fire to it and it was whitewashed to hide the damage (for propaganda purposes). Some Americans will say that THEY won the war. However, to win, a party must reach their objective. Your objective was to take over British North America (what Canada was called then), our goal was to stop you. You don't have any more northern territory along the Canada/US border than you did before 1812. So who won? (Alaska doesn't count, you BOUGHT that state from Russia.)

8. A form of baseball was played just outside of Toronto, Ontario three weeks before Alexander Doubleday played the 'first' game of baseball in your country.

9. We do not find the term "Canuck" derogatory, like Americans find "Yank" derogatory. It apparently originated during World War One. Your soldiers were call "doughboys" ours were called "Johnny Canucks". I think the British coined the term, but I'm not sure.

10. We are not "just like Americans", we have our own national identity, we just haven't figured out what it is, yet. Someone once said that, "Canadians are unarmed Americans with health care." That pretty much sums it up, I guess. We are internationally (but unofficially) known as the "World's Most Polite Nation."

11. Our national animal is the beaver. Sure it's just a rodent, but they're not even CLOSE to being extinct. You can still get money for beaver pelts. It is NOT our main unit of exchange, we have money, just like you.

12. We do not find the fact that American wear Canadian flag pins (so they can get better treatment in Europe) very amusing. So stop it.

13. We have Thanksgiving in October, so we don't look like copycats (it IS an American originated holiday, after all). However, we celebrate Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Passover and other holidays at the same time you do.

14. We were formed, as a nation, in 1867.

15. November the 11th is called Remembrance Day, up here. It is a day when all Canadians honour our war dead and the veterans who are still amongst us. Its significance is that on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month the Armistice was signed, ending World War One.

16. Not every Canadian speaks French. In fact, Canada is the only country where speaking French is not cool.

17. We spell words differently. Honour, valour, defence, neighbour, colour, centre and other words are from the British way of spelling. We also pronounce the last letter of the alphabet "zed", not "zee".

18. The Queen of England is not our national leader. She's' just a figure head and somebody to put on our money with the birds. (Some Royalists in Canada will have something different to say about his, but they're a minority.)

19. Our states are called Provinces. We even have three Territories.

20. We DO NOT have snow all year round. We DO NOT live in igloos. We DO NOT ride around on dog sleds.
We DO NOT have to check the back yard for polar bears, before we let our kids go out to play.

21. Many Canadians have never played hockey in their lives. There are many who do not like hockey.

22. Besides, our national sport is not hockey, its lacrosse. It's one of the few sports that originated on the North American continent, it was played by the Aboriginals.

23. We didn't invent hockey, we just made it better.

24. Even if an "American" team wins the Stanley Cup (the "World Series" of hockey) it doesn't matter to us, because all your best players are Canadian.

25. On the other hand, if a "Canadian" team wins the World Series we ignore the fact that all our baseball players are American.

26. Stop asking if we know somebody in Canada when you find out we're Canadian. We DON'T know everybody in Canada.

27. We have no right to keep and bear arms. So leave your guns home if you're visiting, otherwise they'll be confiscated at the border. We have very strict gun laws, and fully automatic weapons are pretty much illegal. It almost takes an Act of God to get a licence to own a pistol. (This may be a contributing factor as to why we only have about 600 homicides a year, nation-wide.)

28. The border between Canada and the US holds the title of the "World's Longest Undefended Border".

29. Our side of Niagara Falls is nicer looking than your side. In fact, even when Americans use images of the Falls in advertising and movies, they film the Canadian side. It's called Horse Shoe Falls, by the way.

30. We own the North Pole, and therefore Santa Claus is Canadian. The internationally recognized mailing address for jolly old St. Nick is:
Santa Claus
North Pole
Canada
H0H 0H0

31. We call eskimos "Inuit", because that's what they call themselves.

32. That movie you thought was filmed in New York, or Seattle, or Chicago, or Los Angeles -- may have just been filmed in Vancouver, Montreal or Toronto.

So there you have it. Now you just might know more about Canada than most Canadians do!

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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by shadylane » Wed Aug 20, 2014 4:48 am

Canada is a fine country.
I might move there if global warming gets extreme enough.

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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by goose eye » Wed Aug 20, 2014 5:01 am

Who made Canadian bacon

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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by The KYChemist » Wed Aug 20, 2014 5:07 am

I have visited a few times, and always been impressed. The facts are good to know. Sorry for the image... I had to throw just one little jab in there. LOL.
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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by Red Rim » Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:15 am

Okay eh, can I get another bottle of Elsinore beer eh?
There is no such thing as a stupid question....... Unless you didn't research it first.

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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by hamshine » Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:29 am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-glHAzXi_M" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow



fuck yea buud
Last edited by hamshine on Wed Aug 20, 2014 9:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
ETOH.... yes plz

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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by skow69 » Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:42 am

Any place that can produce both Neil Young and Red Green is OK in my book. But please don't ask us to stop claiming Canada when we're anywhere else in the world. It's really hard to have a good time when everyone is pissed off at you.
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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by MitchyBourbon » Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:43 am

rockchucker22 wrote:We crap there goes everything I thought I knew about Canada right out the door. ;)
Don't you mean down the drain?
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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by ga flatwoods » Wed Aug 20, 2014 9:04 am

The monarchy would not have fared well providing penal colonies with weaponry and to be fair about that went for you guys as well in particular due to the Frenchies up there.
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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by heartcut » Wed Aug 20, 2014 9:33 am

Canada is a fine place. Where else can you find folks going 45kph on the highway and 150 on dirt roads?
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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by Jimbo » Wed Aug 20, 2014 9:35 am

34. Drunken cocaine escapades do not preclude you from Mayorship... :ebiggrin: sorry, couldnt resist
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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by Sungy » Wed Aug 20, 2014 9:41 am

Canadian beer Oh Yahhh....Whats with the 4.5% down south. Eh. I know we have Quebec but its not our fault...Although they did come up with poutine. They just missed puttin in the bacon. Ah yes Mayor Ford....but what would late night TV be like with out him....

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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by apdb » Wed Aug 20, 2014 9:50 am

We got William Shatner... nuff' said.

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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by Sungy » Wed Aug 20, 2014 9:53 am

I you guys are keeping William Shatner then ya gotta keep Justin Beiber tooo...Ha.

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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by RandyMarshCT » Wed Aug 20, 2014 10:13 am

Sungy wrote: I know we have Quebec but its not our fault...Although they did come up with poutine.
Man, I LOVE poutine. The first time I went to Montreal I met up with a couple college students in a bar (Sir Winston's) and they were surprised I was American (because I wasn't a loud, wasted asshole... in their defense, the rest of the Americans in that bar at that time absolutely were). They decided to take my friends and I around and show us some better Montreal nightlife. Saw an amazing jazz band in a bar that had $4 pitchers of beer and was open until well after 2am... but that wasn't the kicker. They determined we had never even heard of poutine before and relished in the experience of introducing it to us. That really was the 'icing on the cake' of a wonderful evening.

No wonder you folks are so polite.
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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by ga flatwoods » Wed Aug 20, 2014 10:52 am

eIf you lived and luved in a country that is half of a continent with so few people you would be happy to see a new face as well. At least at first especially if they wore flannel shirts and logging boots. Would more than likely not be blood related.
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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by blind drunk » Wed Aug 20, 2014 11:35 am

My Canada -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL7n5mEmXJo" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow
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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by SoMo » Wed Aug 20, 2014 12:39 pm

Yanks live north of the Mason-Dixon Line, they don't claim sweet tea.
Nice write up learned something new, thanks.
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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by DAD300 » Wed Aug 20, 2014 1:15 pm

They DON"T have Moosehead Beer everywhere in Canada!

Chances are, if you're having Moosehead In Canada, you have an antler in each hand!
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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by Scribbler » Wed Aug 20, 2014 2:20 pm

Just sayin... Moosehead beer is available in every province (not sure about the territories) -but in any city of 50,000 or more, I'm pretty sure you can pick up a case of moosehead!!

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33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by Scribbler » Wed Aug 20, 2014 3:39 pm

Edit: omg I can't believe how much time I just wasted annotating the original post! Gah it isn't even that funny or clever! I'm tempted to delete it, but what the hell... As the smart guy said "you have to use your 'B' material now and then, otherwise your 'A' list material will start to feel week!! Feel free not to read any of this! It honestly is just a waste of your time, and I AM the one who wrote it!!! My name is Scribbler, and I AM CANADIAN!! (At least until somewhere better comes along... )

ap wrote:1. Our president is called a Prime Minister.
---but no one will be considered patriotic for calling her or him an asshole.

ap wrote:2. Baltimore, Maryland has more murders in a week than the entire nation of Canada does all year.
---2011 Canada: 598 homicides
---2011 Baltimore: 196 homicides
======== not quite more per week, but still, SHEESH!!
ap wrote:3. You don't have to be born in Canada to be Prime Minister.
---but you do have to have loads of money. Rules out a lot of new citizens

ap wrote:4. Canadians do not find, "Say 'eh' for me," to be particularly funny.
---I SURE DO!!! (But I also tell the nice ladies at the shipping office in North Dakota that their snow storm "reminds me of home" and that I miss my igloo!!

ap wrote:5. Canada has rednecks, too.
---but our rednecks aren't as inbred!

ap wrote:6. We're a lot bigger than you, in land mass, but our population is considerably less. The populations of Los Angeles and New York City would be around 30 million people. The entire nation of Canada has around 32 million people. Due to the fact that most of our country is in the northern latitudes, we huddle close to the border, for warmth.
---the border issue: something like 80% of the population lives within 2hrs of the USA border (but it is an economic/trade issue that promotes city growth in these places...

ap wrote:7. In the War of 1812, we kicked your butts. The reason why your Whitehouse is white is because we set fire to it and it was whitewashed to hide the damage (for propaganda purposes). Some Americans will say that THEY won the war. However, to win, a party must reach their objective. Your objective was to take over British North America (what Canada was called then), our goal was to stop you. You don't have any more northern territory along the Canada/US border than you did before 1812. So who won? (Alaska doesn't count, you BOUGHT that state from Russia.)
---books and books and books have been written on this... One of my favorites talks about the conflict across the niagara river. The Americans had a super cannon battery that could hit targets 1.5km to 1.8km away, so we built our mighty fort 1.9km from their own...

ap wrote:8. A form of baseball was played just outside of Toronto, Ontario three weeks before Alexander Doubleday played the 'first' game of baseball in your country.
---no one cares about baseball!! NASCAR generates more revenue than any other sport and is really loud!!

ap wrote:9. We do not find the term "Canuck" derogatory, like Americans find "Yank" derogatory. It apparently originated during World War One. Your soldiers were call "doughboys" ours were called "Johnny Canucks". I think the British coined the term, but I'm not sure.
---Americans don't like the term Yank or Yankee? (Or Yankee is ok, but yank isn't? I didn't know this!! -not that I say it often...)

ap wrote:10. We are not "just like Americans", we have our own national identity, we just haven't figured out what it is, yet. Someone once said that, "Canadians are unarmed Americans with health care." That pretty much sums it up, I guess. We are internationally (but unofficially) known as the "World's Most Polite Nation."
----we kinda ARE just like Americans. Leaving out political systems and processes, it's pretty tough to tell us apart. If you compare a random sampling of 10000 Canadians to similar sampling a of Americans and Scots, or Irish, we would look a lot more like the USA!

ap wrote:11. Our national animal is the beaver. Sure it's just a rodent, but they're not even CLOSE to being extinct. You can still get money for beaver pelts. It is NOT our main unit of exchange, we have money, just like you.
---and beavers are pretty much unstopple. They can cut down 3ft wide trees... WITH THEIR TEETH!! But sometimes they misread which way the wind is blowing...

Image






ap wrote:12. We do not find the fact that American wear Canadian flag pins (so they can get better treatment in Europe) very amusing. So stop it.
----it's getting to the point where it doesn't matter any more... Canada is losing some of it's tough but reasonable, & compassionate image


ap wrote:13. We have Thanksgiving in October, so we don't look like copycats (it IS an American originated holiday, after all). However, we celebrate Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Passover and other holidays at the same time you do.
----we also do it then, because its at the end of our growing season, and cause you don't wanna play outdoor football in November!


ap wrote:14. We were formed, as a nation, in 1867.
----but the other nations were here a lot earlier than that!
ap wrote:15. November the 11th is called Remembrance Day, up here. It is a day when all Canadians honour our war dead and the veterans who are still amongst us. Its significance is that on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month the Armistice was signed, ending World War One.
---and in the last 25 years this remembrance has been coopted by our politicians into a patriotic celebration where opposing war means disrespecting the soldiers, whereas it used to be a time to remember the horrible sacrifices that were made to remind us we need to work harder at finding a better way.

ap wrote:16. Not every Canadian speaks French. In fact, Canada is the only country where speaking French is not cool.
---but in Canada, 'learning' French in school is mandatory.

ap wrote:17. We spell words differently. Honour, valour, defence, neighbour, colour, centre and other words are from the British way of spelling. We also pronounce the last letter of the alphabet "zed", not "zee".
----we don't spell words differently: we spell them CORRECTLY!! We speak "the queen's English" from the country of England where the language is from!


ap wrote:18. The Queen of England is not our national leader. She's' just a figure head and somebody to put on our money with the birds. (Some Royalists in Canada will have something different to say about his, but they're a minority.)
----federal law's require her (or her governor) to sign them or they are not official. I don't BELIEVE she is REQUIRED to sign a law she doesn't like, but if she didn't, there would probably be a civil war, or something really really bad...


ap wrote:19. Our states are called Provinces. We even have three Territories.
---some of our provinces are nice.


ap wrote:20. We DO NOT have snow all year round. We DO NOT live in igloos. We DO NOT ride around on dog sleds.
We DO NOT have to check the back yard for polar bears, before we let our kids go out to play.
---but we have mountains that DO hold snow! And ice caps, and glaciers, and icebergs! Now im wonder... Was it a Canadian iceberg that sank the titanic? Or was it from the south?!
---there ARE however people and communities who DO still do these things... (Though an igloo was never a permed ant dwelling. There were never villages of igloos. These are temporary structures built often by hunters. I guess some people rode out the entire winter in them, but certainly not today...)


ap wrote:21. Many Canadians have never played hockey in their lives. There are many who do not like hockey.
---but even people who don't like hockey still appreciate it as "our" thing!


ap wrote:22. Besides, our national sport is not hockey, its lacrosse. It's one of the few sports that originated on the North American continent, it was played by the Aboriginals.
---you get to hit people with sticks!

ap wrote:23. We didn't invent hockey, we just made it better.
---we invented ice though.

ap wrote:24. Even if an "American" team wins the Stanley Cup (the "World Series" of hockey) it doesn't matter to us, because all your best players are Canadian.
----it is statistically unlikely that ANYONE will ever match or beat Wayne Gretzky.


ap wrote:25. On the other hand, if a "Canadian" team wins the World Series we ignore the fact that all our baseball players are American.
----but most Canadians don't watch baseball, so... Meh!

ap wrote:26. Stop asking if we know somebody in Canada when you find out we're Canadian. We DON'T know everybody in Canada.
----I do. If someone asks me if I know Steve Riley, my first reaction is to say "Didn't he have a brief cameo on The Beachcombers? Or a three episode story arc?"

ap wrote:27. We have no right to keep and bear arms. So leave your guns home if you're visiting, otherwise they'll be confiscated at the border. We have very strict gun laws, and fully automatic weapons are pretty much illegal. It almost takes an Act of God to get a licence to own a pistol. (This may be a contributing factor as to why we only have about 600 homicides a year, nation-wide.)
----actually owning a pistol is pretty easy, but there are rules, and rules, and rules, and rules... But if you qualify, you are given a license: it isn't an "apply and hope" thing... You either qualify or you don't.


ap wrote:28. The border between Canada and the US holds the title of the "World's Longest Undefended Border".
----because the weapon magazines on the patrol drones are empty.

ap wrote:29. Our side of Niagara Falls is nicer looking than your side. In fact, even when Americans use images of the Falls in advertising and movies, they film the Canadian side. It's called Horse Shoe Falls, by the way.
----actually, it's because by filming from OUR side, they can look at themselves when gazing out over the river!!


ap wrote:30. We own the North Pole, and therefore Santa Claus is Canadian. The internationally recognized mailing address for jolly old St. Nick is:
Santa Claus
North Pole
Canada
H0H 0H0
----and we are really good at patrolling it so that Russian freighters don't come down through the Arctic circle to steal our fresh water... Oh wait!


ap wrote:31. We call eskimos "Inuit", because that's what they call themselves.
----and other 'Eskimos' are Inuk...
Scribbler wrote:31.5 AND NO ONE IN CANADA IS EVER RACIST!
--- We don't do things like... Oh wait, yeah, we probably have done those things!

ap wrote:32. That movie you thought was filmed in New York, or Seattle, or Chicago, or Los Angeles -- may have just been filmed in Vancouver, Montreal or Toronto.
----because our people work cheaper, and our government gives out great tax breaks!

ap wrote:So there you have it. Now you just might know more about Canada than most Canadians do!
----but probably not!!?

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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by Sungy » Wed Aug 20, 2014 4:17 pm

ROFLMAO. Way to funny

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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by skow69 » Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:01 pm

Could you learn to love us if we learn how to tip?
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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by smartypants » Wed Aug 20, 2014 7:29 pm

Absolutely true about the falls. I don't know anyone who goes to the falls and stays on the NY side. The view is pitiful. I have been to Canada at least 4 times and at least 3 of them were just to visit the falls. The French thing... I was in Quebec once and met a woman who was from there and was bilingual but only let her children speak French. They didn't seem to know any English and they were almost school age. I guess she was some sort of radical. The oddest thing about Canada, to those of us from the US though, is that milk is sold in bags! Is that still the case?
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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by Scribbler » Wed Aug 20, 2014 7:48 pm

Milk in bags is mostly an eastern Canada thing - but yup. It's still a common option - but not the only one...

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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by HDNB » Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:17 pm

goose eye wrote:Who made Canadian bacon
this canadian be makin' bacon every chance he gets :D
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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by HDNB » Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:20 pm

heartcut wrote:Canada is a fine place. Where else can you find folks going 45kph on the highway and 150 on dirt roads?
so you have been here obviously.
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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by moosemilk » Thu Aug 21, 2014 1:20 am

Jimbo: had to laugh at that one. Gotta love the mayor of Toronto (which by the way is the Capital of Ontario, Ottawa is the capital of Canada for those that don't know) .

Goose Eye: I believe the starring role of "Canadian Bacon" was what "made" that movie. The star was Canadian. (even though I don't think you were referring to the movie lol)

KY chemist: Justin Bieber. Our revenge for Miley Cyrus. 'nuff said.

And we may be "peacefull". Until you give us hockey sticks and drop a puck. Then it don't matter who you are, we'll put our own mother into the boards if she has the puck on the opposite team!

Edit: almost forgot heartcut:

That's because we know driving faster on the dirt roads makes driving over washboard smoother. Also, driving is better in winter, snow fills in potholes

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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by Bushman » Thu Aug 21, 2014 4:44 am

KY chemist: Justin Bieber. Our revenge for Miley Cyrus. 'nuff said.
Definitely nuff said, both sides of the border have non bragging rights. When I played rugby in college half our team was from Canada so many of my college friends thought I was Canadian. In fact I started using a lot of terms just from hanging out with team members such "Out and a boot" rather than out and about.

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Re: 33 Things Americans Should Know About Canada

Post by Jimbo » Thu Aug 21, 2014 5:49 am

I love Canada. When I was a kid growing up in Detroit we'd shoot across the border and party in Windsor
In theory there's no difference between theory and practice. But in practice there is.
My Bourbon and Single Malt recipes. Apple Stuff and Electric Conversion

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