Jokes

Little or nothing to do with distillation.

Moderator: Site Moderator

User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

Tater wrote: Fri Dec 11, 2020 9:39 pm
goinbroke2 wrote: Thu Dec 10, 2020 7:06 am Lol, she’s up in Sudbury, Ontario and from the picture she sent about 5-6 years ago, still a hard body!
This kind shit getting way past a joke or what should be in forums. Any more of pushing the line gonna get ya pushed out the door .
Point taken tater, I’ll clean it up.
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
Corsaire
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 1131
Joined: Tue Jun 20, 2017 1:20 pm
Location: Belgium

Re: Jokes

Post by Corsaire »

VLAGAVULVIN wrote: Fri Dec 11, 2020 3:58 am
contrahead wrote: Fri Dec 04, 2020 9:59 am moscow_mule2.jpg


:P
Love that one!
User avatar
VLAGAVULVIN
Distiller
Posts: 1457
Joined: Tue Feb 06, 2018 4:52 am
Location: Western Urals

Re: Jokes

Post by VLAGAVULVIN »

mkay ☺️

har druckit för mycket
User avatar
HDNB
Site Mod
Posts: 7360
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:04 am
Location: the f-f-fu frozen north

Re: Jokes

Post by HDNB »

I've been hacked.

If you get a message from me that says "justin bieber sings Christmas carols" don't open the link, it will take you to videos of justin bieber singing Christmas carols.
I finally quit drinking for good.

now i drink for evil.
User avatar
DSmith78
Swill Maker
Posts: 431
Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2019 4:33 am

Re: Jokes

Post by DSmith78 »

HDNB wrote: Sat Dec 19, 2020 7:10 am I've been hacked.

If you get a message from me that says "justin bieber sings Christmas carols" don't open the link, it will take you to videos of justin bieber singing Christmas carols.
Noooooooooooo......
There are three types of people in this world - those who can do maths and those who cannot.
User avatar
Bushman
Admin
Posts: 17986
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2010 5:29 am
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

B0BEC446-6276-4ADA-9862-B2039183413E.jpeg
howie
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 627
Joined: Sun Jul 19, 2020 7:34 am

Re: Jokes

Post by howie »

i've just got an Outlook reminder popped up, that i entered 5 weeks ago............
"your OEG is ready to drink"
ha ha ha ha
cob
Master of Distillation
Posts: 2691
Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:38 pm
Location: little puffs of dust where my feet used to be

Re: Jokes

Post by cob »

It took 10 minuets to decipher OEG, google search said to common. then 5 weeks,5 weeks, what takes 5weeks. OH yah.
be water my friend
User avatar
HDNB
Site Mod
Posts: 7360
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:04 am
Location: the f-f-fu frozen north

Re: Jokes

Post by HDNB »

i threw a boomerang a few years ago. Now i live in constant fear.
I finally quit drinking for good.

now i drink for evil.
User avatar
HDNB
Site Mod
Posts: 7360
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:04 am
Location: the f-f-fu frozen north

Re: Jokes

Post by HDNB »

i have a friend that lives just outside Chernobyl , Ukraine.
He watched that drama and said he counted 9 historical inaccuracies on one hand.
I finally quit drinking for good.

now i drink for evil.
User avatar
still_stirrin
Master of Distillation
Posts: 10337
Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2014 7:01 am
Location: where the buffalo roam, and the deer & antelope play

Re: Jokes

Post by still_stirrin »

HDNB wrote: Sun Dec 27, 2020 8:19 am i have a friend that lives just outside Chernobyl , Ukraine.
He watched that drama and said he counted 9 historical inaccuracies on one hand.
:clap: :clap: :clap:
My LM/VM & Potstill: My build thread
My Cadco hotplate modification thread: Hotplate Build
My stock pot gin still: stock pot potstill
My 5-grain Bourbon recipe: Special K
User avatar
DSmith78
Swill Maker
Posts: 431
Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2019 4:33 am

Re: Jokes

Post by DSmith78 »

HDNB wrote: Sun Dec 27, 2020 8:19 am i have a friend that lives just outside Chernobyl , Ukraine.
He watched that drama and said he counted 9 historical inaccuracies on one hand.
:lol:
There are three types of people in this world - those who can do maths and those who cannot.
User avatar
Deplorable
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 3984
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2020 12:10 pm
Location: In the East, (IYKYK)

Re: Jokes

Post by Deplorable »

HDNB wrote: Sun Dec 27, 2020 8:19 am i have a friend that lives just outside Chernobyl , Ukraine.
He watched that drama and said he counted 9 historical inaccuracies on one hand.
I bet he's a great banjo picker
Fear and ridicule are the tactics of weak-minded cowards and tyrants who have no other leadership talent from which to draw in order to persuade.
User avatar
Bushman
Admin
Posts: 17986
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2010 5:29 am
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

C8CBC7BD-4AEC-4416-984C-88198ED8815E.jpeg
User avatar
Bushman
Admin
Posts: 17986
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2010 5:29 am
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

AE13F93D-8B78-4385-A7E3-3BC90A3C03D8.jpeg
This is why they don’t have Shetland ponies is Wyoming!
Zeotropic
Rumrunner
Posts: 514
Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2020 7:48 pm

Re: Jokes

Post by Zeotropic »

Bushman wrote:
AE13F93D-8B78-4385-A7E3-3BC90A3C03D8.jpeg
This is why they don’t have Shetland ponies is Wyoming!
That is too funny!
User avatar
SomethingObscure
Bootlegger
Posts: 146
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2020 9:17 am
Location: England.

Re: Jokes

Post by SomethingObscure »

In a bar

Guy 1 asks: "That is a big lighter you got there! Where did ya get it?"

Guy 2 says: "I rubbed this lamp right here, and a genie granted me a wish"

Guy 1 goes: "Cool, let me see it!"

He rubbed the lamp and out came the genie. The genie tells him he can only have one wish.

Guys 1 wishes: "I wish for a million bucks!"

So the genie snaps his fingers and a few seconds later, thousands upon thousands of ducks come swarming into the bar.

Guys 1 says: "What is this?! I said a million bucks not a million ducks!"

Guys 2 says: "Did you really think I asked for a 12-inch Bic?"



“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
-Albert Einstein

User avatar
contrahead
Trainee
Posts: 909
Joined: Mon Dec 30, 2013 3:43 pm
Location: Southwest

Re: Jokes

Post by contrahead »

1608217593900blob.png
Omnia mea mecum porto
User avatar
goinbroke2
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 2445
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:55 pm
Location: In the garage, either stilling or working on a dragster

Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

Well, times are tough and I didn’t want to resort to this but... I’m selling nudes of myself for cash.


$5 to get one
$25 to not get one
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!
User avatar
Bushman
Admin
Posts: 17986
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2010 5:29 am
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

Here are 12 things to consider as we get closer to closing the door on one of the most horrible years of our lifetime:

1. The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.

2. I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.

3. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

4. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

5. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house & told my dog. We laughed a lot.

6. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

7. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?

8. This virus has done what no woman has been able to do. Cancel sports, shut down all bars & keep men at home!

9. I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

10. I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.🤣

11. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. I’m getting tired of the Living Room.

12. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask & ask for money.

.......here’s hoping for a Happier New Year!
The Baker
Master of Distillation
Posts: 4659
Joined: Sun Aug 27, 2006 4:48 am
Location: Northern Victoria, Australia

Re: Jokes

Post by The Baker »

Then there was the day we had a day out.

My wife and me went to the doctor for the flu injection.

Geoff
The Baker
User avatar
HDNB
Site Mod
Posts: 7360
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:04 am
Location: the f-f-fu frozen north

Re: Jokes

Post by HDNB »

apparently, putting 3 alka seltzers in your mouth and working up a good froth as you run through walmart shouting "the vaccine isn't working" is somehow considered bad taste.

i can't tell if was the seltzer or the taser that left a metallic taste in my mouth.
I finally quit drinking for good.

now i drink for evil.
User avatar
still_stirrin
Master of Distillation
Posts: 10337
Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2014 7:01 am
Location: where the buffalo roam, and the deer & antelope play

Re: Jokes

Post by still_stirrin »

Bushman wrote: Thu Dec 31, 2020 2:00 pm Here are 12 things to consider as we get closer to closing the door on one of the most horrible years of our lifetime...
Wow Bushman, you've got influence!

I just saw this very quote in the comments section of a Fox commentary on their website! ... by Mr._Boombastic!

Now, that's POWER.
My LM/VM & Potstill: My build thread
My Cadco hotplate modification thread: Hotplate Build
My stock pot gin still: stock pot potstill
My 5-grain Bourbon recipe: Special K
User avatar
HDNB
Site Mod
Posts: 7360
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:04 am
Location: the f-f-fu frozen north

Re: Jokes

Post by HDNB »

I just read a shocking statistic that 50% of the men in North Korea have cataracts.


The other half drive rincolns.
I finally quit drinking for good.

now i drink for evil.
User avatar
Bushman
Admin
Posts: 17986
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2010 5:29 am
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

60B84EE6-E47A-4DC9-9F94-7C35376F40D9.jpeg
cob
Master of Distillation
Posts: 2691
Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:38 pm
Location: little puffs of dust where my feet used to be

Re: Jokes

Post by cob »

Imagine 20 years from now trying to explain to the kids about 2020, and the toilet paper shortage,

having to scoot your bare butt across the grass in a foot of snow up hill both ways all while dodging

murder hornets.
be water my friend
User avatar
Bushman
Admin
Posts: 17986
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2010 5:29 am
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

No words needed
28FE4700-7D38-430B-B601-39C038E8D6AD.jpeg
User avatar
Kareltje
Distiller
Posts: 2176
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2016 4:29 pm

Re: Jokes

Post by Kareltje »

Uitleg vertrouwen vaccin.jpg
User avatar
Kareltje
Distiller
Posts: 2176
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2016 4:29 pm

Re: Jokes

Post by Kareltje »

De eerste verpleegsters.jpg
Translation: The first nurses have been vaccinated.
Jstroke
Site Donor
Site Donor
Posts: 391
Joined: Thu Mar 26, 2020 10:51 am
Location: somewherenorthahere

Re: Jokes

Post by Jstroke »

I just decided I’ll pass
If in doubt leave it out.
Post Reply