Jokes

Little or nothing to do with distillation.

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cuginosgrizzo
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Re: Jokes

Post by cuginosgrizzo »

"Dad, will you do my algebra homework for me?"
"No, dear, it wouldn't be right!"
"But dad, you could at least try!"
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thecroweater
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Re: Jokes

Post by thecroweater »

The Baker wrote:Cranky that keyboard joke could be a bit rude in American English but not in real English.Geoff
Geoff, are you originally from South Australia, just wondering how you know "real English" :lol:
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Re: Jokes

Post by The Baker »

thecroweater wrote:
The Baker wrote:Cranky that keyboard joke could be a bit rude in American English but not in real English.Geoff
Geoff, are you originally from South Australia, just wondering how you know "real English" :lol:
Victoria. Have I got this wrong? I know that our case (suitcase) can be a 'port' in I think SA. (Or is that Queensland? Worked there for a while in Ingham,
terrible floods then and now, with that horseshoe of mountains inland and the river running to the sea...)

But I was thinking of the land where a fanny is a backside and an ass is not a donkey...

Geoff
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Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

I woke up to 24 F this morning so thought this was a good one!
AB2A3B3C-BC57-4BDD-BCEA-2AE4F0CA2D93.jpeg
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Re: Jokes

Post by HDNB »

Bushman wrote:I woke up to 24 F this morning so thought this was a good one!
AB2A3B3C-BC57-4BDD-BCEA-2AE4F0CA2D93.jpeg
Thanks Bush i needed a laff. it was -43C when i went out to warm up the truck this morning. no joke.
I finally quit drinking for good.

now i drink for evil.
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Re: Jokes

Post by Truckinbutch »

Son to Father>"Dad, what's so fascinating between a woman's legs ?"
Dad to Son >" Son , the gates to heaven are contained in that crevice ."
Son to Dad >"What's so special about what's between a man's legs ?"
Dad to son>"The man has the key to those heavenly gates . Only he can enter them ."
Son to Dad >"Then you better shoot the Mailman . He has a duplicate key .".....
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Re: Jokes

Post by still_stirrin »

Bushman wrote:I woke up to 24 F this morning so thought this was a good one!
EF5BA76C-E326-41D2-833F-3400379BC829.jpeg
That’s “acute” one Bushman. (acute < 90*), because it is!
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Re: Jokes

Post by Teddysad »

Was helping a friend move house. Found a huge roll of bubble wrap.
I said "what shall I do with this?"

He said "Oh just pop it in the corner"


Took me 5 bloody hours.
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Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

8DD0ED32-C80F-4D4E-A2CD-F0DB83B955DA.jpeg
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Re: Jokes

Post by ShineonCrazyDiamond »

:thumbup:
"Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!
You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond."
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cranky
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Re: Jokes

Post by cranky »

Guys I need your help!!!
I'm in the middle of an argument with my wife and she just told me that I'm right.
What the hell do I do next :econfused:
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Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

cranky wrote:Guys I need your help!!!
I'm in the middle of an argument with my wife and she just told me that I'm right.
What the hell do I do next :econfused:
Tell her it’s the first time she’s been right!
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Re: Jokes

Post by ShineonCrazyDiamond »

cranky wrote:Guys I need your help!!!
I'm in the middle of an argument with my wife and she just told me that I'm right.
What the hell do I do next :econfused:
Get an apartment and make your neighbor start your car. Your $&*$#!.
"Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!
You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond."
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Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

E73783E4-CD61-4388-922D-A406810B9EFD.jpeg
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Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

Saw this and thought of all those Johnny jokes;
7313F81D-FA71-47E2-BB9E-D6236F253079.jpeg
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Re: Jokes

Post by Kareltje »

Jong geleerd is oud gedaan.
(Young learned is practiced at old age.)
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Re: Jokes

Post by kiwi Bruce »

Kareltje wrote:Jong geleerd is oud gedaan.
Is that Transylvanian?
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Re: Jokes

Post by Kareltje »

kiwi Bruce wrote:
Kareltje wrote:Jong geleerd is oud gedaan.
Is that Transylvanian?
:twisted: Don't tell or I will bite you!
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Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

FDC4DCC7-3BAD-47BE-9640-739FD0A06948.jpeg
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Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

885BEA4C-FEA4-48E8-8CC7-08C596A94368.jpeg
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Re: Jokes

Post by Crego »

Kareltje wrote:
kiwi Bruce wrote:
Kareltje wrote:Jong geleerd is oud gedaan.
Is that Transylvanian?
:twisted: Don't tell or I will bite you!
Ou transvaal is close to transylvanian[GRINNING FACE WITH SMILING EYES]
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Re: Jokes

Post by kiwi Bruce »

:evil: So besides "Very Bloody Marys" what else do you Transylvanian's drink?
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Re: Jokes

Post by Kareltje »

https://iheartintelligence.com/more-int ... HUghoMj1KI" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow
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Re: Jokes

Post by Kareltje »

kiwi Bruce wrote::evil: So besides "Very Bloody Marys" what else do you Transylvanian's drink?
Google Pleegzuster Bloedwijn.
Pleegzuster.jpg
Pleegzuster.jpg (11.17 KiB) Viewed 2600 times
or:
Appelbijt.jpg
Appelbijt.jpg (8.59 KiB) Viewed 2600 times
And to it we eat:
Molenaars.jpg
Molenaars.jpg (9.04 KiB) Viewed 2600 times
. I prefer the kind that is made of children between 6 and 9. I think the children's flour of 3 to 6 is too soft and that of children from 9 to 12 is a bit course grounded and sticks between my teeth.
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Re: Jokes

Post by kiwi Bruce »

Bloedwijn I knew it...Bloodwine!
Getting hung up all day on smiles
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Re: Jokes

Post by thecroweater »

Magazine on the coffee table at the denist's, headline read women should be worried about having children after 40
:shock: dear god I should think so, 40 is a blenky lot of kids :o
Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. Benjamin Franklin
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Re: Jokes

Post by Hoosier Shine9 »

I ran across this today on YouTube.....

I listen to all sorts of things while at work instead of the radio......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8umvBUlsp4I&t=6s
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Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman »

0A83249A-8B7C-45F0-B253-4B718613E1FB.jpeg
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Re: Jokes

Post by Hoosier Shine9 »

Bushman wrote:
0A83249A-8B7C-45F0-B253-4B718613E1FB.jpeg
ROTFLMAO.......
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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 »

Last night the family was watching tv and the new Crown Royal commercial came on;
"Crown Royal, made the Canadian way" and my kid piped up "in the basement?"

Yes I laughed...hard...
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