Jokes

Little or nothing to do with distillation.

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goinbroke2
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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 » Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:48 am

A girl walking around in her underwear is "fashion" but I do it and "I'm drunk" and "not allowed in penningtons ever again".

Frigging sexist !
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!

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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 » Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:51 am

I was in macdonalds and the guy yelled out order 867. So I yelled 5309.


Nobody laughed


Damn I feel old
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!

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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 » Tue Sep 29, 2020 8:08 am

Just got a box from summit racing in the mail, carried it to the garage and placed it by the boxes from jegs and rock auto at the front of the mustang.

It was then I realized it would of been cheaper to be a drug addict.
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!

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Re: Jokes

Post by The Baker » Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:05 pm

goinbroke2 wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:51 am
I was in macdonalds and the guy yelled out order 867. So I yelled 5309.


Nobody laughed


Damn I feel old
Maybe an American joke?
I'm probably even older and I have no idea what this is about.

Confused Geoff
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Re: Jokes

Post by TDick » Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:22 pm

goinbroke2 wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:51 am
I was in macdonalds and the guy yelled out order 867. So I yelled 5309.
Nobody laughed
Damn I feel old
You're forgiven a Senor Moment!

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Re: Jokes

Post by HomerD » Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:23 pm

The Baker wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:05 pm
goinbroke2 wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:51 am
I was in macdonalds and the guy yelled out order 867. So I yelled 5309.


Nobody laughed


Damn I feel old
Maybe an American joke?
I'm probably even older and I have no idea what this is about.

Confused Geoff
It’s an old song, 867–5309:
[align=][/align]Stay strapped or get clapped.
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Re: Jokes

Post by The Baker » Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:16 pm

Gotcha.

I'm more into Mozart; and Kenny Rogers.

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Re: Jokes

Post by Windy City » Tue Sep 29, 2020 9:32 pm

I service Lochinvar boilers heavily and the access code Is Tommy Two Tones 5309
It may be midnight when I get called out on a job but all of the sudden I am singing 867-5309🎶
I guess you just have to be old enough to understand.
The liver is evil and must be punished

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Re: Jokes

Post by Twisted Brick » Tue Sep 29, 2020 10:14 pm

Windy City wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 9:32 pm
It may be midnight when I get called out on a job but all of the sudden I am singing 867-5309🎶
I guess you just have to be old enough to understand.
One of the catchiest tunes ever...
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Re: Jokes

Post by v-child » Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:45 am

TDick wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:22 pm
goinbroke2 wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:51 am
I was in macdonalds and the guy yelled out order 867. So I yelled 5309.
Nobody laughed
Damn I feel old
You're forgiven a Senor Moment!
I hope you guys recognize the great Jimi Hendrix on the gitbox.

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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 » Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:52 am

Holy crap, that IS jimmy! Cool!

Course seeing that reminds me my family is racist. I brought a beautiful young black hardbody home one time and the wife and kid got pissed.

Damn racists....
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!

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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 » Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:55 am

I was in the kitchen last night going to make fries for supper and asked the kid where the potato peeler was. Without a hesitation he said,

"Downstairs doing the laundry".

Wife wondered what we were laughing about when she came up.
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!

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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 » Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:58 am

It's not a successful BBQ until some drunken idiot walks into a sliding glass door almost breaking their nose.



I'm fine, thanks for asking.
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!

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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 » Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:03 am

Saw an ad the other day,
"Hot young couple looking for a third. No sex play, just deciding where we eat".
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!

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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 » Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:12 am

Started planing a vacation to Australia, was asked if I had a criminal record.

I said, "I didn't realize it was still a requirement "

Bitch hung up on me!
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!

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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 » Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:15 am

I was in this fancy "cheese emporium " and let a silent but deadly one go. The arrogant snobs in the isle went on and on about the excellent fragrance of their favourite cheese.
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!

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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 » Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:22 am

I'm at that age where my mind thinks I'm 29, my humour thinks I'm 14 and my body is still asking if I'm still alive...
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!

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Re: Jokes

Post by Windy City » Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:31 am

goinbroke2 wrote:
Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:22 am
I'm at that age where my mind thinks I'm 29, my humour thinks I'm 14 and my body is still asking if I'm still alive...
Amen Brother
You have posted this in the wrong thread
That is not a joke. That is a fact :lol: :lol: :lol:
The liver is evil and must be punished

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Re: Jokes

Post by The Baker » Wed Sep 30, 2020 7:03 am

goinbroke2 wrote:
Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:12 am
Started planing a vacation to Australia, was asked if I had a criminal record.

I said, "I didn't realize it was still a requirement "

Bitch hung up on me!
We're not usually that touchy these days,,,

Geoff
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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 » Wed Sep 30, 2020 9:55 am

[/quote]

We're not usually that touchy these days,,,

Geoff
[/quote]

Meh, I wrote it off to covid, it's blamed for everything else. Lol.

Kids have been back to school here for a month and no "second wave ".
Must be due to the practice some use of driving alone in their own Car with mask and face shield on. :wtf:
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!

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Re: Jokes

Post by Kareltje » Wed Sep 30, 2020 2:14 pm

goinbroke2 wrote:
Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:12 am
Started planing a vacation to Australia, was asked if I had a criminal record.

I said, "I didn't realize it was still a requirement "

Bitch hung up on me!
This one is funny!

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Re: Jokes

Post by Kareltje » Wed Sep 30, 2020 2:19 pm

goinbroke2 wrote:
Wed Sep 30, 2020 9:55 am

Meh, I wrote it off to covid, it's blamed for everything else. Lol.

Kids have been back to school here for a month and no "second wave ".
Must be due to the practice some use of driving alone in their own Car with mask and face shield on. :wtf:
I guess the survivors all injected chlorine bleach in their veins, like your boss suggested.

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Re: Jokes

Post by v-child » Wed Sep 30, 2020 2:41 pm

Political BS? I thought we where all friends here.

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Re: Jokes

Post by ShineonCrazyDiamond » Wed Sep 30, 2020 2:51 pm

I'm going to say move along and watch it kareltje.
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Re: Jokes

Post by Durhommer » Wed Sep 30, 2020 3:13 pm

I have a joke .....wait what was I gonna say
You have two ears and one mouth for a reason....

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Re: Jokes

Post by The Baker » Wed Sep 30, 2020 4:41 pm

Durhommer wrote:
Wed Sep 30, 2020 3:13 pm
I have a joke .....wait what was I gonna say
Me too.

And it is no joke.

Geoff
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Re: Jokes

Post by TDick » Wed Sep 30, 2020 7:39 pm

HomerD wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:23 pm
The Baker wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:05 pm
goinbroke2 wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:51 am
I was in macdonalds and the guy yelled out order 867. So I yelled 5309.
Nobody laughed

Damn I feel old
Maybe an American joke?
I'm probably even older and I have no idea what this is about.

Confused Geoff
Tommy Tutone 876-5309
I stand corrected!!!

Of course MY song is much older!
v-child wrote:
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I hope you guys recognize the great Jimi Hendrix on the gitbox.
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So The Wicked Pickett played with Jimmy AND Skydog - rare air!

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Re: Jokes

Post by DSmith78 » Wed Sep 30, 2020 8:05 pm

The older I get the further away the floor gets.
There are three types of people in this world - those who can do maths and those who cannot.

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Re: Jokes

Post by Yonder » Wed Sep 30, 2020 9:43 pm

DSmith78 wrote:
Wed Sep 30, 2020 8:05 pm
The older I get the further away the floor gets.
That’s odd. We just had a 4’10” woman here sue the city for building the sidewalk too close to her ass... :shifty:
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Re: Jokes

Post by Truckinbutch » Wed Sep 30, 2020 10:47 pm

goinbroke2 wrote:
Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:55 am
I was in the kitchen last night going to make fries for supper and asked the kid where the potato peeler was. Without a hesitation he said,

"Downstairs doing the laundry".

Wife wondered what we were laughing about when she came up.
You've taught him well .
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