Jokes

Little or nothing to do with distillation.

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Durhommer
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Re: Jokes

Post by Durhommer » Wed Oct 07, 2020 1:42 pm

Damn I forgot
You have two ears and one mouth for a reason....

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kiwi Bruce
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Re: Jokes

Post by kiwi Bruce » Wed Oct 07, 2020 2:04 pm

Durhommer wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 1:25 pm
What's black and white and red all over....
a blushing penguin !
Getting hung up all day on smiles

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Durhommer
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Re: Jokes

Post by Durhommer » Wed Oct 07, 2020 2:13 pm

kiwi Bruce wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 2:04 pm
Durhommer wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 1:25 pm
What's black and white and red all over....
a blushing penguin !
Newspaper works too...lol
You have two ears and one mouth for a reason....

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kiwi Bruce
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Re: Jokes

Post by kiwi Bruce » Wed Oct 07, 2020 3:22 pm

Newspaper? What the hell's a Newspaper ? Is that one of those new google apps ?
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Re: Jokes

Post by The Baker » Wed Oct 07, 2020 3:26 pm

jonnys_spirit wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 1:40 pm
uhhhh,... I give up?
Tho old answer to that has been pretty much overtaken by electronics now....

Geoff
The Baker

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Re: Jokes

Post by jonnys_spirit » Wed Oct 07, 2020 4:58 pm

The Baker wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 3:26 pm
jonnys_spirit wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 1:40 pm
uhhhh,... I give up?
Tho old answer to that has been pretty much overtaken by electronics now....

Geoff
And the other answer that comes to mind involve nun heads, a spear, and revolving doors!
————
i make stuff i break stuff
water into whiskey into water
just getting started in home distilling - been drinking for decades
16g copper pot still, 10l alembic, and a column or two
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Truckinbutch
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Re: Jokes

Post by Truckinbutch » Wed Oct 07, 2020 7:00 pm

What's red , yellow , green , and goes 1,000 miles an hour ?
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .

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Re: Jokes

Post by Windy City » Wed Oct 07, 2020 7:04 pm

Frog in a blender

Oh God these jokes are from when I was a kid
Damn that was a long time ago
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Tater
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Re: Jokes

Post by Tater » Wed Oct 07, 2020 9:11 pm

Where did capt hook .get his hook?
I use a pot still.Sometimes with a thumper

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Re: Jokes

Post by Bryan1 » Wed Oct 07, 2020 9:55 pm

Tater wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 9:11 pm
Where did capt hook .get his hook?
from the local hooker ????

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Re: Jokes

Post by Truckinbutch » Wed Oct 07, 2020 11:43 pm

Windy City wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 7:04 pm
Frog in a blender

Oh God these jokes are from when I was a kid
Damn that was a long time ago
Good on ya , mate ! I was voting age when I first heard that one . Much longer ago for me .
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .

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Re: Jokes

Post by Yummyrum » Thu Oct 08, 2020 1:42 am

This is no joke .

My daughter has bad asperges .
One day she burst out laughing . When I asked her what was so funny , she told me she just realised that when I asked her several years ago , “whats black and white and red all over” , she had finally understood that it could have two meanings .

I kid you not , for me it was a moment of hope .She went on to study partial physics .... as you do :D

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Tater
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Re: Jokes

Post by Tater » Thu Oct 08, 2020 4:58 pm

Tater wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 9:11 pm
Where did capt hook .get his hook?
From the second hand store .
I use a pot still.Sometimes with a thumper

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Deplorable
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Re: Jokes

Post by Deplorable » Thu Oct 08, 2020 6:09 pm

Durhommer wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 1:25 pm
What's black and white and red all over....
Newspaper. Durrr.
Use all your senses, and its not that hard. You just have to pay attention.

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Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman » Thu Oct 08, 2020 7:14 pm

Tater wrote:
Thu Oct 08, 2020 4:58 pm
Tater wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 9:11 pm
Where did capt hook .get his hook?
From the second hand store .
This goes back to my junior high days in the early 60’s. Starting to bring back memories of the jokes/cartoons inside the wrapping of bubble gum.

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Deplorable
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Re: Jokes

Post by Deplorable » Thu Oct 08, 2020 7:35 pm

Bushman wrote:
Thu Oct 08, 2020 7:14 pm
Tater wrote:
Thu Oct 08, 2020 4:58 pm
Tater wrote:
Wed Oct 07, 2020 9:11 pm
Where did capt hook .get his hook?
From the second hand store .
This goes back to my junior high days in the early 60’s. Starting to bring back memories of the jokes/cartoons inside the wrapping of bubble gum.
:esurprised: you just made me feel so young.
Use all your senses, and its not that hard. You just have to pay attention.

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Re: Jokes

Post by Bryan1 » Thu Oct 08, 2020 11:33 pm

A man walks into a bar................................................ then says ouch.

What is the guy's nationality ?????

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Deplorable
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Re: Jokes

Post by Deplorable » Fri Oct 09, 2020 6:58 am

Uhm, POLE-ish? 😁
Use all your senses, and its not that hard. You just have to pay attention.

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Deplorable
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Re: Jokes

Post by Deplorable » Fri Oct 09, 2020 6:59 am

Or is he bar-varian? Lol
Use all your senses, and its not that hard. You just have to pay attention.

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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 » Fri Oct 09, 2020 6:50 pm

kid asked me, dad what's a forklift.

I said food usually...
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!

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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 » Fri Oct 09, 2020 6:54 pm

At this point it's safe to conclude that the "time out" generation didn't produce citizens as good as the "ass whooping" generation. :wink:
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!

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Bushman
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Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman » Fri Oct 09, 2020 7:24 pm

goinbroke2 wrote:
Fri Oct 09, 2020 6:54 pm
At this point it's safe to conclude that the "time out" generation didn't produce citizens as good as the "ass whooping" generation. :wink:
If that’s the case I should be a much better citizen than my younger brother because I got a whole lot more whooping than he did!

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Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman » Sat Oct 10, 2020 2:51 pm

BCA1C59C-1BE1-4CA8-A5B7-7699ED2E9109.jpeg

Bryan1
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Re: Jokes

Post by Bryan1 » Sat Oct 10, 2020 8:05 pm

A 75 year old American farmer when to his doctor where the doc asked his opinion on Joe Biden as the next president. The old farmer said well ya know Biden is post turtle.

So the Doc asked what in the name is a post turtle ????

The old farmer when ya driving down the road and you see a turtle balanced ontop of a fence post. Well thats a post turtle to be exact.

The doc looked kind a puzzled so the old farmer explained.

You know it didn't get by it's self and you know it doesn't belong there, it doesn't know what to do while it's up there and it's elevated beyond the ability to function

and you wonder what idiot put him up there in the first place....

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Re: Jokes

Post by cob » Sat Oct 10, 2020 8:39 pm

funny and true? in my opinion absolutely

but with out question contrary to rule F
be water my friend

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Re: Jokes

Post by Truckinbutch » Sat Oct 10, 2020 10:28 pm

I can't support this even though I do . We are supposed to avoid politics on this forum : and I support the forum .
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .

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Tater
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Re: Jokes

Post by Tater » Sun Oct 11, 2020 9:53 am

Bryan1 wrote:
Sat Oct 10, 2020 8:05 pm

So the Doc asked what in the name is a post turtle ????

The old farmer when ya driving down the road and you see a turtle balanced ontop of a fence post. Well thats a post turtle to be exact.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The doc looked kind a puzzled so the old farmer explained.

You know it didn't get by it's self and you know it doesn't belong there, it doesn't know what to do while it's up there and it's elevated beyond the ability to function

and you wonder what idiot put him up there in the first place....
just got you a 30 day ban from HD .anymore of this type posting will be permanent bans .Keep the political shit OFF this site.
I use a pot still.Sometimes with a thumper

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Re: Jokes

Post by Bushman » Sun Oct 11, 2020 12:06 pm

E38127A1-FA68-4B94-B51C-0C7FB38BB0E7.jpeg

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goinbroke2
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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 » Sun Oct 11, 2020 12:31 pm

Got home last night, walked in the bedroom and the wife is laying there dead. I thought I better call the cops but figured first, I’ll get one last piece. Half way through and she opens her eyes and says boo!
I’m telling ya, some people are so messed up!
Playing dead....sheesh....
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!

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Re: Jokes

Post by goinbroke2 » Sun Oct 11, 2020 8:22 pm

See all these guys my age out zip lining and water skiing...shit, I was proud of myself for getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance!
Numerous 57L kegs, some propane, one 220v electric with stilldragon controller. Keggle for all-Grain, two pot still tops for whisky, a 3" reflux with deflag for vodka. Coming up, a 4" perf plate column. Life is short, make whisky and drag race!

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