Confessions of an amature distiller.

Little or nothing to do with distillation.

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Bph
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Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by Bph » Tue Aug 25, 2020 3:52 am

I just wanted to have a thread for fun. This would be the place to come confess anything and everything to do with our hobby. If it picks up and folks are interested/ participating I'll do a giveaway for best confession next month. Maybe a few diffrent yeasts and some enzymes or something for the winner. Anywho. I'll kick it off.

I confess. I'm toattaly obsessed at the moment. I drive down the road looking up at trees to see if they have fruit. When shopping at the grocery store I look at the bags of cornmeal and the cans of peaches and know if the zombie apocalypse ever hits I'll be turning that into hooch. My wife has all but given up on me. I spend my whole day online looking at barrels to fill and reading threads about dunder pits while trying to source the best molasses for next summer. (Its gonna be all rum all the time next year)
I confess. I got the bug! This isnt a hobby its a lifestyle choice and I choose it everyday.

tombombadil
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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by tombombadil » Tue Aug 25, 2020 6:11 pm

I recently burnt the tip of my nose.

I leaned over to smell the distillate coming off the condenser and found out the hard way that my water pump had become disconnected and some steam was making its way out the end of the condenser.

According to my wife I look like Rudolph the red nosed reindeer.

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Deplorable
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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by Deplorable » Tue Aug 25, 2020 6:32 pm

I have to confess a couple of things actually.
I bought a still that needs imrovements to be efficient. ( I shoulda came here before I ordered a still)
But whats more odd, is that I am totally intrigued by how fast and hot spent grains can perk up a cold compost pile.
Use all your senses, and its not that hard. You just have to pay attention.

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Twisted Brick
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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by Twisted Brick » Tue Aug 25, 2020 7:54 pm

tombombadil wrote:
Tue Aug 25, 2020 6:11 pm
I recently burnt the tip of my nose.
I know it isn't right to be entertained by others' misfortunes, but that right there is (something I would do) funny.

My vote for number one, right out the chute.

Twisted
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ravi
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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by ravi » Tue Aug 25, 2020 9:32 pm

I was reading from long time about distilling. Feeling very smart distiller and confident . With so much reading about rice liquor finally I started my first rice mash fermentation. I input all my herb knowledge in the mash and finally after fermentation input in the still. Something came out of my product condenser!! I was pretending like i was the best distiller and sniffing every second. After some time my wife came and kick my butt and said what the hell is this smell all around the home???? that day the smell is so worse we could not get sleep because of bad smell. I am really feeling dizzy smelling like crazy every second because i am trying separate head hearts and tails best possible someone ever did it ..and guys can guess about final alcohol quality....hahahahaha
In search of Dream whiskey.................

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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by Windswept » Wed Aug 26, 2020 10:46 am

I was messing around with a glass still and had just read about boiling chips helping get a really nice boil instead of the thumping I was getting, so I dumped a dozen crushed oyster chunks into to it help the boil. Bloody thing exploded hot alcohol all over the place, scalded my hands, sprayed me pretty much neck to waist with boiling alcohol and made a horrific mess and taught me a valuable lesson...

I've also scorched corn onto the bottom of a pot so thoroughly that I had to use a brush attachment on a drill to get it off, that was an interesting smell.

I dropped the gallon jug with the first product I'd ever made immediately after distilling it.

I routinely buy things to distill that end up going mouldy before I get around to fermenting them and my wife loves to tell the story about the time I bought 20 watermelons, scooped them out, vacuum sealed and froze them, only to have to freezer conk out and everything go rotten.

Or the time I decided to try and make apple brandy and bought 10 bushels of apples for my first try, only to find out there's a difference between an apple crusher and a grape crusher, so I tried to use the blender, burnt the motor on that, then burnt the motor on the food processor, then sucked it up and crammed them through the grape crusher. 2 of my 5 20gallon ferments went to vinegar (which I distilled anyway, another wonderful smell). The resultant fruit fly invasion was legendary.
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Windswept
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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by Windswept » Wed Aug 26, 2020 10:52 am

Oh, I forgot about the time I redistilled 5 gallons of backset and just about lost my mind because I wasn't getting any product that was worth talking about.

That one just about put me in the madhouse. I really need to label things better
If I didn't learn the hard way, I wouldn't learn at all!

Sailman
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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by Sailman » Wed Aug 26, 2020 11:02 am

I have to confess that on my last run I stuck my big toe not once but twice to my electrically heated boiler. I guess the lesson to be learned is not go barefoot while running.

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bluedog
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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by bluedog » Wed Aug 26, 2020 1:06 pm

@windswept, Backset one is hilarious.
I was filtering some vodka through charcoal. As I was lifting a mostly full five gallon bucket to hang it on a hook so i could gravity feed it through a tube of charcoal, one side of the handle popped off, the bucket slammed down on a workbench I was leaning against, fell over, and poured almost all of the vodka on the front of my shirt, and down my pants.

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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by Bph » Thu Aug 27, 2020 11:15 am

😆😆😆

Those are some great confessions!
I confess. I bought a PH meter. PH strips. And a PH test kit for pools..... I have yet to get a good reading on anything so I stoped trying or caring. Maybe I'm just lucky or maybe we got good water. But everything I've put into the fermenter has came out the still fine. I also confess I have yet to do a spirit run cause I havent made the same thing twice. I was going to be in the camp of one slow run and done but fuck that. Now its all labled low wines and waiting to get enough together for a proper spirit run.

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NZChris
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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by NZChris » Fri Aug 28, 2020 12:19 am

Spank yourself. One run and done died out with the Neanderthals and was resurrected by Youtubers.

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Durhommer
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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by Durhommer » Fri Aug 28, 2020 2:36 am

I confess I dont ph my washes and use tap water on sugarheads. I only break out the good water filter and gypsum and such for all grain
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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by metalsmith » Fri Aug 28, 2020 4:14 pm

I heard that a horse feed mash did a great whiskey. ( you know, sweet feed). Being vegan I ate the entire bag of producers pride all grain sweet feed before I could try to “mash” it.

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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by LWTCS » Fri Aug 28, 2020 4:28 pm

metalsmith wrote:
Fri Aug 28, 2020 4:14 pm
I heard that a horse feed mash did a great whiskey. ( you know, sweet feed). Being vegan I ate the entire bag of producers pride all grain sweet feed before I could try to “mash” it.
Really? Dang.
10 lbs of grains only makes enough whiskey to piss you off.
That is to say, 10 lbs of grain ain't enough lol.

How much was in yer bag?
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Chauncey
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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by Chauncey » Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:56 pm

Whoa. I ate a toucan once but it was a waste not want not situation in Ecuador. Opposite side of the diet spectrum.
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Bph
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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by Bph » Sun Aug 30, 2020 4:52 am

You ate a toucan? What it taste like? Spotted owl?

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Chauncey
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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by Chauncey » Sun Aug 30, 2020 5:29 am

It was not like fruit loops. Flew into the truck windshield and my ecuadorian buddy pulled over and fixed.it up. Sort of like a chicken bit sweeter
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Bph
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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by Bph » Sun Aug 30, 2020 12:25 pm

Sounds good to me. I'm all about eating meat. My lady gives me a hard time cause I shoot and eat the rabbits and squirrels that try to mess with my garden in the spring. She says I should build a fence. I said 22 rounds are a lot cheaper than chicken wire. But truth is I just like to eat things that dont come from the store.

I confess I officially have more corn mash ready than I have jars to catch it in. I tapped led lights to my 55 gallon barrles that I ferment in and it seems to have shaved a few days off fermentation. Fawk! I need a bigger still. Truth is I dont own one yet I just have access to one but I give him half my product... Thats getting old fast. I hate to spend so much money in a time like this but damn. He got half my 37 gallon apple wash... I found the apples. I asked if I could pick the apples. I picked the apples. Juiced the apples. Ferment the apples. He sat with me while I ran em and took half. I got to get a my own shit asap. Thats why now I'm just doing tractor supply corn mash that I mashed using enzymes. Its the cheapest way I hace found so far. I'm just pulling it fast and hard keeping it for when I get my still then I will do spirit runs and start my rum affair.

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DSmith78
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Re: Confessions of an amature distiller.

Post by DSmith78 » Sun Aug 30, 2020 12:40 pm

When I first started I was heating on open flames. One night I decided to be clever and show my brother how flammable heads were by throwing a little on the fire under the boiler. It was then I discovered I had a leak.....
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