You know you are a Shiner when…

[LWTCS]

Well good for you and god bless I say.

[Fester]

i still salivate at the idea of free booze. just never lucked into it so far but I’m still trying. and no wineries close to me. should I try to convince Mrs Fester to move with me to Australia? A few romantic tails of vast desert, strange beasts and plants that are poisonous but OH –SO- CUTE will surely help.

[LWTCS]

41. An old waterbed at the swap meet/yard sale looks like a fermenter to you

Oh shit I missed that one.

I'm friggin falling out of my chair over here.

Oh Fester say it isn't so.

[kiwistiller]

when you start looking at anything organic and wondering 'would that work as a feedstock?'

[kiwistiller]

oh, and when your fridge looks more like a yeast farm than food storage

when you cannot bus / bike / walk to the shops any more because the quantities of sugar you are consuming is not movable without a car.

You no longer notice the strange looks at said supermarket.

[LWTCS]

You no longer notice the strange looks at said supermarket.

Young cashier girlie inquired about my sugar and yeast purchase.

She started to explain to me how she was a chemistry major in college and how surgar and yeast and fermented stuff and blah blah blah,,,,,,,as I stood there paying for my supplies with what was a stupid looking grin on my face I'm sure.

I am reminded of the post about the fellow living and working in Iraq. And how he commented that the Gents would gather in the bakery section.............

[Dnderhead]

Shiners like artist,,, do not git famous until something happens ,,,,usually bad.

[Fester]

sorry.... busy today stripping out a rather large wash and stillin it for the barrel and saving some of the heart-of-hearts for Mrs Fester. very soon i will compile the list, at #50 or so, and give full credit to the contributors. A new list would have to be "responses to store clerks when you buy 100 pounds or more of sugar"
got a few good ideas already but that should be another thread

i.e. 1. blank stare. say nothing. pretend you are deaf or upset with the store.
2. the old "church bake sale, this year i supply the sugar"
3. "i own a bakery"
4. "you didn't hear the news last night? sugar price is about to skyrocket. I'm getting ready."
5. "just doing as i am told. I do not ask questions, OK?".
6. "an acre of strawberries( or other fruit) takes a lot of sugar to preserve... and this is not enough!"
7. "this ain't nothing, last time it was twice this and still ran out... as you know.. (recite #2,3 or 6)"

[bourbonbob]

I meet the food distributer truck in the main street of my local town and transfer 200 kilos of sugar to my vehicle. Does that look a bit suspect?

[Usge]

You know you are shriner when ...you never learned how to shift your Harley out of 1rst.

[kiwistiller]

A new list would have to be "responses to store clerks when you buy 100 pounds or more of sugar"

heh I play this game with the store clerks as well. they recognise me now, so I try and come up with something new each time. of course, in NZ, I don't need to be secretive, so I try and give them a laugh.
some favourites

-I'm putting it in peoples gas tanks
-(at 3am) It's a brewing emergency! HURRY!
- I have befriended a giant, and its his birthday so I need to make a giant-cake
-I'm a florist. its for the flowers
-I'm diabetic, I cook this up and inject it. hurry up, I need a hit. [all time fav]
-I'm the candyman.
-I'm planting it so I can get a sugar cane crop
-what? I thought this was breakfast cereal?!
-I'm building my fallout shelter walls with sugar, so that I can be sealed inside and slowly eat my way out. Don't you know that sugar is a great insulator?

I think that last one went over their heads, but what can you do

KS

[Fester]

i'd like to give you # 47 bourbonbob but i just do not understand it even after several reads. And Fester has crashed enough motorcycles to qualify for the Repetitive Medical Care Allowance at the local ER. Fond memories of me hugging a tree about 10 feet off the ground and watching my sweet little Honda sliding down the side of Shasta Mountain. Hot-doggin a rice burner, biting a tree and walking to the emergency room. gawd, those were good days. and its true, some scars never go away

[Rude Boy]

I'm the candyman.

I can't wait to use that one, KS.

[gsmedia]

You (barely) resist the urge to collect bottles from the side of the road

[1fourme]

Here's a few more possibilities.

You know you are a Shiner when… you know what Dixie Crystals are and know how to use them...

You know you are a Shiner when…You know who John Lee Pettymore is...

You know you are a Shiner when…You burn the hell out of a piece of oak... just so you can flavor your favorite drink...

You know you are a Shiner when...You have an overwhelming desire to announce the birth of your new still on homedistiller' forum..

You know you are a Shiner when...You have an overwhelming desire to learn how to upload pictures of your new still...but not of your family...

You know you are a Shiner when...You have more canning jars then anyone else in the county...and the stores send their customers over to your place when they run out...

[stuartashers]

your sheds occupied, your house is used for storage and your basement resembles a laboratory.

you can just about recite the lines from the Dukes of Hazard

you keep finding new hiding places for your still collection

when there's a knock on the door your not at home

[Hillbilly Rebel]

When your personal library has more books on moonshining, distilling, ethanol, bourbon, cooperage, prohibition, rum row, (and so on), than the entire State Library combined.

[tinboat]

When you check HD before your e-mail
You buy the high dollar dog food at the feed store as cover

[Hack]

You buy the high dollar dog food at the feed store as cover

and you wonder, "Can you mash dog food?"

[Fester]

The List So Far:

(see the first post in thread for the full list) http://homedistiller.org/forum/viewtopi ... 0#p6791320

[1fourme]

You know you are a Shiner when…you have mashed Fruit Loops..

You know you are a Shiner when…the wife needs something from the store... and you volunteer to go...

You know you are a Shiner when…your wife doesn't ask anymore, and just heads out to the shed to retrieve her cooking utensils...

You know you are a Shiner when…You get a set of Measuring cups, Strainer, and large spoons for Christmas...

You know you are a Shiner when…You no longer need a Proof Hydrometer...

[1fourme]

You tell them at the feed store it's for your cattle... so you don't have to pay the stupid sales tax...

[tinboat]

You tell yourself your stuff costs $3.00 per bottle

[blind drunk]

hack said -

and you wonder, "Can you mash dog food?"

after you figure you can't, you wonder how it would taste since you spent all yer money on copper, barley and corn.

[FeralPig]

i still salivate at the idea of free booze. just never lucked into it so far but I’m still trying. and no wineries close to me. should I try to convince Mrs Fester to move with me to Australia? A few romantic tails of vast desert, strange beasts and plants that are poisonous but OH –SO- CUTE will surely help.

Umm, what does one say to a winery when inquiring about this? Do they not have "awkward questions" as to why you want it? What do I tell them that would sound convincing?

[FeralPig]

You no longer notice the strange looks at said supermarket.

Young cashier girlie inquired about my sugar and yeast purchase.

She started to explain to me how she was a chemistry major in college and how surgar and yeast and fermented stuff and blah blah blah,,,,,,,as I stood there paying for my supplies with what was a stupid looking grin on my face I'm sure.

I am reminded of the post about the fellow living and working in Iraq. And how he commented that the Gents would gather in the bakery section.............

I buy the yeast from another store. When asked about the sugar, I claim I make candy.

[LWTCS]

I just ordered a case of panella blocks/bricks after cleaning off the shelf. Grocer staff members have that "you don't look south american" look on their faces.

[Aces High]

Your wife bursts into the study to try and catch you looking at porn and finds you looking at stills

You wife wishes you'd stop looking at stills on the internet and just look at porn like an ordinary person

[nedscreekkennels]

You know you are a Shiner when you can remember your stills names but not your kids.

[LWTCS]

Your wife bursts into the study to try and catch you looking at porn and finds you looking at stills

You wife wishes you'd stop looking at stills on the internet and just look at porn like an ordinary person

HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW MY WIFE?