Forming a new church

[still crazy]

Well I gone and done it now.
Having your own business gives you certain overhead issues like needing to keep a lawyer on retainer.
Since this year in the construction industry has been sooooo slow while sitting with the accountant I realized my lawyer had not billed up to his retainer value.
So what thought I, can I do with my lawyers "extra" money? You know how those lawyers would hate to make money for doing nothing.
While mulling this over with the family one of my sons suddenly looked up and said, "Why don't you form a church Reverend".
I got ordained a few year back to perform as clergy for a couple I had introduced and they had asked me to marry them.
This got the whole family laughing, but the wheels were turning now.
Well from the mouths of babes a spark was ignited. My wife got that "oh shit" look on her face.
Visions of tax benefits were now running rampart in my feeble cranium.
So online I went to do a little research. This was followed up with a call to the lawyer.
His stunned reaction was comical until he figured out I was seriously considering this.
So off to the lawyers I went to file IRS form 501(c)3. < tax exempt status
After a few minutes at the lawyers, who also happens to be a friend, he suggested that I write my church guidelines, rules & beliefs.
Then he made the comment that I thought he was losing it on " Make sure you put on your list that your beliefs include distillation of alcohol".
I laughed and he looked at me sober as a judge and said " congress shall make no law abridging religion or religious beliefs".
"So, says I trying to grasp what hes just said, if I put down that we believe its a religious rite to distill there's nothing the law can do about it".

Well to make a long story short I am finishing up my paperwork for the IRS and my building printed material proving we are a church our rites and beliefs.
Since my son lit the spark I allowed him to name it.
We shall be known as "The Celebration Ministry of the Miracle at Cana". Seems fitting doesn't it.
I may even be looking to ordain a few ministers of the faith to follow in our path and form branch ministry.

[Whitedog]

That is close if not "THE" oddest thing I have ever heard! Good luck with it!

[The Baker]

Well I gone and done it now.
Having your own business gives you certain overhead issues like needing to keep a lawyer on retainer.
Since this year in the construction industry has been sooooo slow while sitting with the accountant I realized my lawyer had not billed up to his retainer value.
So what thought I, can I do with my lawyers "extra" money? You know how those lawyers would hate to make money for doing nothing.
While mulling this over with the family one of my sons suddenly looked up and said, "Why don't you form a church Reverend".
I got ordained a few year back to perform as clergy for a couple I had introduced and they had asked me to marry them.
This got the whole family laughing, but the wheels were turning now.
Well from the mouths of babes a spark was ignited. My wife got that "oh shit" look on her face.
Visions of tax benefits were now running rampart in my feeble cranium.
So online I went to do a little research. This was followed up with a call to the lawyer.
His stunned reaction was comical until he figured out I was seriously considering this.
So off to the lawyers I went to file IRS form 501(c)3. < tax exempt status
After a few minutes at the lawyers, who also happens to be a friend, he suggested that I write my church guidelines, rules & beliefs.
Then he made the comment that I thought he was losing it on " Make sure you put on your list that your beliefs include distillation of alcohol".
I laughed and he looked at me sober as a judge and said " congress shall make no law abridging religion or religious beliefs".
"So, says I trying to grasp what hes just said, if I put down that we believe its a religious rite to distill there's nothing the law can do about it".

Well to make a long story short I am finishing up my paperwork for the IRS and my building printed material proving we are a church our rites and beliefs.
Since my son lit the spark I allowed him to name it.
We shall be known as "The Celebration Ministry of the Miracle at Cana". Seems fitting doesn't it.
I may even be looking to ordain a few ministers of the faith to follow in our path and form branch ministry.

Hallelujah!

[Barney Fife]

You've got balls, my friend

Keep us posted!

[rednose]

That's great

God save our stills.

[rubber duck]

The last time the ATF busted a church things didn't go so well. Think Waco.

As Barney said you have a set like a big brass monkey.

If it works out we might need to make a exception to the religion rule.

[ScottishBoy]

I have a certain amount of theological training. I might be able to help.
...Im still wondering what exactly would qualify as a "Miracle" for this Church...

Alcoholicus,
Chapter 12, Verse 10

"And verily, though they did stoke the fires with pitch and pine
and all manner of ashes fell from the smoke
The mash, did not burn.

The woeful tax collectors bent knee and
sung the praises of the newly made sacrament
and there was much rejoicing."

[Mud Mechanik]

Add one more member to your online congregation!!!! MM

[northcountry]

Seems I remember a phrase in the bible "give troubled man strong drink" With the economy as such, I can see the church mushrooming. Speaking of mushrooms, how does it stand with the law relating to some of the native cultures?

[ScottishBoy]

I imagine that such a Church might be very open to sharing ideas of other faiths...

[goose eye]

where to gather in his name you got a church.

yup think id be more of turnin water into wine. his first miricle
cant remember of him cookin wine to brandy cause there ma never let there pa forget it.
there pa said how you no he didnt. it dont take no miricle for that just a little fire.

ole boys had a brother could quote the new testament an 1/2 the old. kj
had some ole rivival thumpers come in an hed give them a fit. there ma wont none to happy.

so im tole

[anuran]

Here are the guidelines straight from the horse's mouth. Or at least from one end of the horse's digestive tract:

Publication 1828: Tax Guide for Churches and Religious Organizations

Just remember. Any clever trick you think you've got to get around the law has already been tried. The folks at the IRS, TTB, ATF, FBI, MIC, KEY and MOUSE are not stupid. They are darned good at what they do. They have seen it all before and spend their professional lives dealing with people who think they're smarter than some dumb old government bureaucrat. Do a little research before you jump in on this one. Plenty of supposedly religious organizations have had their tax exempt status denied. And those denials have held up in Court.

[jtaylo7]

Proverbs 31: 6-7 Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. 7 Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

Another gem. Prverbs 31:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

[rubber duck]

OHHH that's good I'm going to have to look that up.

RD

[Titus-a-fishus]

Isn't there also a proverb in there about staying too long with wine is like trying to sleep at the top of a mast?

[Shabby Haze]

That's the way to get it done! Praise "Bob"!

[MuleKicker]

There is a God!

And as he walked into the garage for a day of rest and beverage production, he said " LET THERE BE LIKKER"...... And there was.. Amen.

Oh, you all may be seated.

[father william]

Members of the Native American Church have the legal right, tested in court cases, to take peyote as part of their religious ceremonies.

But, not just anyone can join that church, you have to prove that you're sufficiently genetically Indian.

Here's a long but good article about the situation:

http://www.dallasobserver.com/2008-02-1 ... holy-crop/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow

Don't want to be a wet blanket, but don't expect to backdoor home distillation through the 1st Amendment. The govt. has been very anal about restricting chemical religious rights. The Indians were able to prove that the practice goes back for hundreds (maybe thousands) of years. It'd be hard to do that with distillation unless you come from the Beam family or something.

[ScottishBoy]

The Indians were able to prove that the practice goes back for hundreds (maybe thousands) of years. It'd be hard to do that with distillation unless you come from the Beam family or something.

What if you come from a long line of alcoholics...
( I kid, I kid)

[Dyce51]

man us Catholics get Alter Wine at church you gonna give out Alter Shine at your church?? LOL

[rcbako]

You're a stud buddy! Keep your church moving with you. Who knows you are one of people the Savior had entrusted his sheep.

[maztec]

You will have to show that distilling is integral to your religion and a foundational aspect of it. Additionally, quick-fix religions usually gain little ground. You might be interested in looking at the pro-marijuana religions and those that have managed to get through the law versus those that have failed.