Sarcastic ways to say "No shit"

W Pappy · Post by **W Pappy** » Wed Mar 04, 2015 8:19 pm

Look rite dare that chimp just run off with your helmet.

sdpoage · Post by **sdpoage** » Wed Mar 04, 2015 8:29 pm

Your a pretty fart smeller ain't ya.

Post by **WooTeck** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 1:27 am

i find 'that' look followed by "really?" or "should we think about that wone again?" usually dose the trick

W Pappy · Post by **W Pappy** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 2:10 am

I'm gonna steal your idea great thread.

Post by **RandyMarshCT** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 5:40 am

I like to use the Wayne's World one occasionally:

Get right out of town?!?

phillmystill · Post by **phillmystill** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 5:59 am

Two that are from my locality:

"Well, I'll go to the bottom of my garden";

"I can't catch my breath".

These have to be said in the most sarcastic voice you can muster and preferably with a thick Derbyshire accent for full effect.

Post by **cranky** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 8:32 am

shadylane wrote: Your shitting me

When someone says that to me my reply is "I wouldn't shit you, your my favorite turd."

SassyFrass · Post by **SassyFrass** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 9:14 am

This is one from the lil' ol' ladies in the sewing circle.

Well, bless your heart...

Post by **T-Pee** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 9:20 am

SassyFrass wrote:This is one from the lil' ol' ladies in the sewing circle.

Well, bless your heart...

Yep. Southern gal-speak for "Are you really that f****** stupid??"

tp

SassyFrass · Post by **SassyFrass** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 10:31 am

T-Pee wrote:
SassyFrass wrote:This is one from the lil' ol' ladies in the sewing circle.

Well, bless your heart...
Yep. Southern gal-speak for "Are you really that f****** stupid??"

tp

Yep. And anything goes, after, saying, " Well, bless their heart..."
Example: "Well, Bless her heart, she's been around the county a dozen times".
Don't sound too bad, does it?

You figger out the translation.

Witches_Brew · Post by **Witches_Brew** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 6:03 pm

^^ There was a show about slang words in America that featured "Well Bless her heart".

Uma Thurman's eyes are so far apart you could back a trailer between em - Well bless her heart.

Post by **shadylane** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 6:54 pm

That's a good idea, who told you about it.

Post by **Tater** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 7:03 pm

Imagine that

cob · Post by **cob** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 9:22 pm

does howdy doody have wooden nuts?

Post by **googe** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 9:27 pm

phillmystill wrote:
googe wrote: "you realize you are a dickhead"
"give yourself an uppercut"

The Aussies really have a way with words.

Two points to you!.

Haha I was sarcastic in the sarcastic thread

W Pappy · Post by **W Pappy** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 11:01 pm

cranky wrote:
shadylane wrote: Your shitting me
When someone says that to me my reply is "I wouldn't shit you, your my favorite turd."

That one got me in a ton of fights when I was a kid never could stand that word lol

W Pappy · Post by **W Pappy** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 11:06 pm

I just tell the boys next time i take the dogs to the vet they is goin too
Should have taken the one sooner too late now.

phillmystill · Post by **phillmystill** » Fri Mar 06, 2015 4:59 am

googe wrote:
phillmystill wrote:
googe wrote: "you realize you are a dickhead"
"give yourself an uppercut"

The Aussies really have a way with words.
Two points to you!.

Haha I was sarcastic in the sarcastic thread

(a look is worth a thousand words)

Post by **googe** » Fri Mar 06, 2015 4:17 pm

Antler24 · Post by **Antler24** » Fri Mar 13, 2015 5:11 am

A couple local ones,

Do a bear shit in the woods?
Your some kinda special

And my favourite:
Do the tin-man have a sheet metal cock?

whitewaterqb · Post by **whitewaterqb** » Fri Mar 13, 2015 7:49 am

well aint that like a sore dick...tough to beat

Boxcutter · Post by **Boxcutter** » Sun Mar 15, 2015 6:40 am

I let them repeat themselves two times then just turn and walk away with out saying a word

Post by **masonsjax** » Sun Mar 15, 2015 10:40 am

The Italian version of bless her heart is: with all due respect <insult>

With all due respect, your Sister is a whore.

Post by **goinbroke2** » Wed Mar 18, 2015 5:46 am

Do fat dogs fart?

Your a regular f$%^ing einstein aren't you?

No shit sherlock, what was your first clue?

Thanks capt obvious

Umm, thanks for that (then roll the eyes and carry on talking)

In a large group I don't like to slam somebody in front of the rest so normally it's a long look with raised eyebrows then "ok" and I carry on. During the long look if someone else speaks up with a "shut up" or thanks dumbass" a head shake is included before the "ok"

I think we've established that thanks,

EDIT: forgot one, look at them, shake head and say "fail"

Post by **goinbroke2** » Wed Mar 18, 2015 5:50 am

W Pappy wrote:Son I declare dem motor skills you got gone skipped a gear or 2.

I use "man his gears just aren't meshing" or "his gears don't mesh do they?"

thatguy1313 · Post by **thatguy1313** » Wed Mar 18, 2015 7:18 am

You make about as much sense as a football bat
Well that makes me happier than a possum eatin a sweet tater.

slowswim · Post by **slowswim** » Fri Apr 17, 2015 9:38 am

Is a frog's ass water-tight?
Does a fat baby fart?
Does the pope wear a funny hat?

Bobdoe · Post by **Bobdoe** » Fri Apr 17, 2015 3:35 pm

Thanks, Sparky, I've never thought of that.

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Sarcastic ways to say "No shit"

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