The liar's bench

[HDNB]

Well TB I understand where you were coming from , having obligations. I am sitting here on the computer on day 2 of recovery from a full hip replacement surgery done on Tues. 5/22. Doc came in and told me what a mess it was and that I should have had it done in 2015 like he said. Well sometimes you just have obligations that need to be to be covered. Guess I will have some time now to keep up on you yahoos here at the bench.

good to hear the Sx went well, keep up on the physical therapy and you'll be up and around in no time. Wish you a speedy and safe recovery!!

[Appalachia-Shiner]

Ain't no Lie, but I've blown 4 tires on Hay Equipment the past week and just now getting started!
Groundhogs? Ain't got many but I Killed 10 Coyotes this year already.

And a wash sitting in the tub all sealed up for 3 weeks that I haven't had time to run.

[Truckinbutch]

Off topic but I have to interject I'm hoping with 5400 posts someone will humor me and tell me what SOH means. I'm guessing it means the wife but I can't find any acronyms on the internet that match up.

In my case it is 'Speaker Of the House' which , indeed , she is .

[Truckinbutch]

Well TB I understand where you were coming from , having obligations. I am sitting here on the computer on day 2 of recovery from a full hip replacement surgery done on Tues. 5/22. Doc came in and told me what a mess it was and that I should have had it done in 2015 like he said. Well sometimes you just have obligations that need to be to be covered. Guess I will have some time now to keep up on you yahoos here at the bench.

Wish you a speedy recovery . Got some idea of how well you are dealing with enforced idleness .

[The Baker]

Once when I was a kid I saw a little dog trying it on with a cat...

Geoff

[distiller_dresden]

I saw a dog who got interrupted getting it on with another dog, and seemed to have lost interest, but Peter didn't care that dog didn't care any longer, so dog was trying to walk around, and other dog was trying to walk away and getting quite frustrated because they were..."connected" at the hip. That was pretty damn funny. Somebody eventually got out a garden hose for the poor dogs.

[corene1]

Well TB I understand where you were coming from , having obligations. I am sitting here on the computer on day 2 of recovery from a full hip replacement surgery done on Tues. 5/22. Doc came in and told me what a mess it was and that I should have had it done in 2015 like he said. Well sometimes you just have obligations that need to be to be covered. Guess I will have some time now to keep up on you yahoos here at the bench.

Wish you a speedy recovery . Got some idea of how well you are dealing with enforced idleness .

Forced idelness is a bit of a chore for me to handle, That is a fact! I have a 30 gallon barrel of Rum that is just sitting there as well as 30 gallons of AG that needs running . Think my cousin is going to come over and do it for me. That should be some right good pain killer there. In my post surgical state I was wonderin if I could load the still half with rum wash and half with AG . That should be an interesting combination. On the other hand maybe I should quit thinking for a while till the brain is nice and clear again. Before surgery I started tinkering on a small pot still and thumper set up so maybe in a while I can start back on it.I thought something this size might be fun for doing fruit brandies charging the boiler with clear and the thumper with the not so clear Probably strip down and refletch all my arrows for fall. Don't want to screw this up I need these here legs for a good while longer.

[jedneck]

Was workin in garden this evenin pickin rocks. Now the few that know where i live will verify this. I had to use an old side delivery hayrake to winrow the rocks. After i got done went in house to fix me a drink an. I'll be i was in 'tralia.

Putteee next

[Truckinbutch]

You pick all the rocks out of that garden patch and all you got to do is line it with a heavy plastic liner and let it rain . Mrs. and kids are going to have an olyimpic size swimmin pool to play in .
There's no doubt that you can raise a good crop of rocks there .

[Truckinbutch]

Still hobblin around on a broke foot . That gave me leave to go visit an old camp ground that my buddy Gordy and I used to go to on a regular basis years back .
I've told y'all about Gordy before .
We got together before we started the first grade and WWG1WGA until we each had a couple of kids on the ground . One of us got a headache , the other could take an asprin and we would both feel better . Shared most everything .
Anyhow , I traveled to that camp ground in the south central part of the state and found that the same old guy that we dealt with was still running the place .
He looked me over and the light of recognition lit his eye .
"TB ?"
"Yep".
'Where's Gordy ?"
"Gordy ! Let me ask you this . Would you want to go camping with a guy that would drink all your booze , cheat you at cards , and then sneak out of camp in your car in the middle of the night to drive home and try to screw your wife ?"
"Well FUCK, NO ! I wouldn't want NOTHIN to do with a SOB like that !"
"Well ................ Neither does Gordy ............."

[distiller_dresden]

Hell TB, I ain't got 'nuff friends to try or drink my hooch, and I divorced my old lady because she wouldn't have a child with me after that was one of our promises... Year later she married my best friend and was knocked up with his kid. So way I see it you'd be doin' me a favor adding to bein' a friend o' mine. Plus, I don't play cards, unless its hearts, and nobody freakin' plays hearts right, always thinkin' they gonna run on every hand, or holding onto the damn queen like they got a brick of gold in their ass and gonna be the smartest guy in the room when they drop her on someone like a Bond villain.

[Truckinbutch]

I play HEARTS . I paid for 4 kids that was sworn to me and still waitin for a couple that I was accused of to come out of the bush and be recognized . Got no idea how this relates to the last post I made .

[HDNB]

Got no idea how this relates to the last post I made .

'specially without a quality segue like anyhow....

[distiller_dresden]

Well I was sayin' I could use a friend who drinks my hooch and tried to sleep with my wife when i was married, it would have shown me who she was earlier, and the hearts - 'cause I mentioned I didn't play cards, except hearts, in response to your part about cheating at cards-

I was round about sayin' we all got our faults, but it's how ya look at 'em through different perspectives, I guess.

[HDNB]

i was just looking for a way to fit in segue....i digress... TB made the transition without crediting Arkansas Tom.

[Truckinbutch]

I was round about sayin' we all got our faults, but it's how ya look at 'em through different perspectives, I guess.
I understand now . Thanks .

[Hilltop]

Well I was sayin' I could use a friend who drinks my hooch and tried to sleep with my wife when i was married, it would have shown me who she was earlier, and the hearts - 'cause I mentioned I didn't play cards, except hearts, in response to your part about cheating at cards-

I was round about sayin' we all got our faults, but it's how ya look at 'em through different perspectives, I guess.

I'll give you half of my friends, as they only like me for free booze, behind my back they say I'm an asshole, but really I just have a short tolerance for other assholes. If my wife was still here, I would give her to ya and help you pack her shit, but the deal is Her credit cards and all her headache goes with you and I do not accept returns. Just leave my Dog named Bo and my little 15 gallon copper pot still and you can have that women and all of her misery. Me and Bo will keep distilling his favorite drink
" Corn, wheat and oats all grain" while we pray for you.

[kiwi Bruce]

Off topic but I have to interject I'm hoping with 5400 posts someone will humor me and tell me what SOH means. I'm guessing it means the wife but I can't find any acronyms on the internet that match up.

SOH---Significant Other Half---SOB---Son of a Bitch...BFF---Best Friends Forever...
AS IN
My niece can home unexpectedly on her lunch-break and found her SOH, the SOB, banging her BFF,
her quote...
" When you wear rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags "

[kiwi Bruce]

The "glasses and flags" is a quote from Shakespeare...it's either " Midsummer nights Dram " or "Taming of the Flue"

[ga flatwoods]

Seing as how i havent been around here much lately, i have some bs for the bench and a confession. You have to forgive the blasphemy herein.
Last week i bought a bottle of Dr James Crow's original Kentucky Bourbon for $11.45 a fifth and liked it. Didnt have any of my own, been too busy with other things. I guess we each place our own priorities where we think they ought to be. What a twisted way of thinking!
GA Flatwoods

[Truckinbutch]

i was just looking for a way to fit in segue....i digress... TB made the transition without crediting Arkansas Tom.

Arkansas Tom called me this morning . Had a happy tale to share .
Arkansas DOT graduated a new class of Inspectors and started a marathon inspection blitz to break them in yesterday or today .
Anyhow , Arkansas Tom rolled across the Van Buren AK scales today and got sent around back for a paperwork check . Parked in inspection lanes were 2 bull wagons that were about to be inspected by new recruits . Razor edge creases in their uniforms and spit shined jump boots . Brand spankin new creepers with the store stickers still on them in hand .
I'm here to bet you that when they rolled out from under those two loaded cow wagons that they were convinced , for the rest of their lives , that cow wagons ALWAYS ! have good brakes . No need to crawl under and inspect them .
No inspector in his right mind detains honey bee haulers , neither .............

[Truckinbutch]

Seing as how i havent been around here much lately, i have some bs for the bench and a confession. You have to forgive the blasphemy herein.
Last week i bought a bottle of Dr James Crow's original Kentucky Bourbon for $11.45 a fifth and liked it. Didnt have any of my own, been too busy with other things. I guess we each place our own priorities where we think they ought to be. What a twisted way of thinking!
GA Flatwoods

Ain't no shame , brother . Some of them jar store bottles sittin around my place too until I get back on track . I see that in the near future when the 'mater plants bear the first fruit . Hope to get 1 or 2 runs done by then and bottled up .
When it all comes together it's going to be an evening made in Heaven : BLTs with Jed's bacon and cathead biscuits mopping up your syrup . followed by my own AG white dog .
Hope you get unbusy enough for a visit in late August , early September .

[HDNB]

$11.45 a fifth and liked it.
GA Flatwoods

must be nice. provincial tax is 12 a fifth here, fed tax is 5 ish a bottle. then you gotta pay for the package and the booze too. (plus GST tax and sales tax and recycle taxes)

[thecroweater]

$11.45 a fifth and liked it.
GA Flatwoods

must be nice. provincial tax is 12 a fifth here, fed tax is 5 ish a bottle. then you gotta pay for the package and the booze too. (plus GST tax and sales tax and recycle taxes)

Swap yaz, spirit Tax here is $83.84 per litre of alcohol plus GST of 10% on top of that ( that is GST on the price and excise combined) . Welcome to sin tax world, we have weird set up with alcohol tax. Beer is one rate wine another then brandy another again while fortifying spirit is exempt. All other spirits must be the bad stuff I guess as they warrant by far the highest rate in the western world if not the entire world.

[distiller_dresden]

damn, crow, if 'fortifying spirit' is exempt - do you mean 'fortified spirits' like port? I'd be drinking port like nobody's business, I'd be a port drinking fool. I mean, I kind of am already, it's one of my favorite alcohols, but in that situation to the exclusion of all else

[The Baker]

damn, crow, if 'fortifying spirit' is exempt - do you mean 'fortified spirits' like port? I'd be drinking port like nobody's business, I'd be a port drinking fool. I mean, I kind of am already, it's one of my favorite alcohols, but in that situation to the exclusion of all else

As I understand it;
The people making port do not pay excise on the purchase of the spirit.
BUT. When they sell it they charge excise to the purchaser and remit the money to the taxman.
And I think they have to declare the annual increase in value of the stock in the barrels and pay excise on THAT.
Which is probably credited against what they pay to the man on the excise charged to the eventual buyer.

My winemaker friend got caught and paid a lot of tax on that increase in value; and it was spectacular to hear an angry arm-waving Italian curse in Australian English...
For about five minutes....

Geoff

[corene1]

Finally out and about given my new hip a tryout and thought I would stop by the bench and see what you characters are up to. My stocks are gettin a bit low but I thought I would drop off a bit of rum for you folks here at the bench. Using lots of molassas in it as well as some malted red wheat. Seems to have a nice flavor with a nice creamy vanilla finish. Think I will try makin some spiced rum with it also. Let you fellers taste it when it's done.

[distiller_dresden]

That there is a good idea corene, I love these kind of ideas. I am a startup by most of your measures, but I love trying new things with existing standards and recipes; I have a rum fermenting now that I put a gallon of pineapple juice in there. I'd like to try out your idea with my next rum mash-in to see how that goes; how many pounds of malted red wheat would you use/suggest for a 5.5 gallon mash-in using .75 gallons of high quality molasses and .75 gallons of blackstrap molasses, or how would you adjust those to allow for the smooth lighter flavor of the malted red to be there?

Saying again, I really love ideas like this! Combination and innovation is the excitement and alchemy of this lifestyle and what has me so deeply enamored with it.

[HDNB]

My winemaker friend got caught and paid a lot of tax on that increase in value; and it was spectacular to hear an angry arm-waving Italian curse in Australian English...
For about five minutes....

Geoff

i'd paid good folding money to see a video of that!

many moons ago i knew an Irishman, the epitome of an Irish leprechaun... short, stout, flaming red hair with the squared off beard....absolutely go off in fluent Cantonese with a Chinese business partner. One of the single most strange and funny spectacle in my recollection.

[thecroweater]

In Australia fortified wine is not exempt just the fortifying spirit so tax is due on the wine depending on the ABV but at a very different rate to spirits. What happened was basically the gov saw how easy this son tax biz was with smokes so they smashed the telly with adds on how rotten drinkers are with the how will ya feel tomorrow adds, domestic violence, drink driving, one punch heros, and then to show they were cleaning up the streets increased tax by hundreds of % . Goose with the golden egg comes to mind as what happened was the distilling industry was gone overnight along with a damn lot of wineries and shit tons of viticulturists. The system was not sustainable as is and this is how it got so convoluted as different types of alcohol had to be taxed at a sustainable level ( that is as high as the market could stand but no higher). What that means is brandy is taxs at a reduced rate to say whiskey and wine at a different rate again and this was done to protect significant domestic industries as back when they first Brought it in I can remember folks getting paid to bulldoze their vines. I would guess the fortified spirits exemption was to kill off a fast growing industry of black market spirits . The way it is now is indexed to grow with CPI but I can see a time there will be resistance to this as we have a growing distillery industry and a growing industry association and like any industry association that reaches a critical mass they will gain some sway.