Jokes

[Bushman]

[heynonny]

[jonnys_spirit]

3po and r2 blending w/natives. These are not the droids ur looking for

[6 Row Joe]

I think may be so!

[dieselduo]

Now that's funny

[thecroweater]

Two booze hounds leaving the pub/bar , one asked ya bin drunk enough ya kissed a lady on the on the bellybutton? Other says hell I bin drunkerer than that.

[Truckinbutch]

Johnny came home late from school . Mom was fixin supper and Dad was havin his first drink of the evening .
Mom ," Why are you late ?"
Johnny ,"I was having sex with my art teacher ."
Mom , " OOHH ! I don't approve of what you've been doing . But , since you were honest , I'll fix you a milk shake ."
Dad just poured another drink .
Next day Johnny's late again .
Mom ,"Why are you late ?"
Johnny ,"I was having sex with my math teacher ."
Mom ,"OOHH ! I don't approve of what you were doing . But , since you were honest , I'll fix you a milk shake ."
Dad just poured another drink .
Next day Johnny's late again .
Mom ,"Why are you late ?"
Johnny ,"I was having sex with my social studies teacher ."
Mom ," Ooooh , my ! I don't approve of what you were doing . But , for being honest , I'll fix you a mil."
Dad , downing his second drink , comes out of his chair , grabs a cast iron skillet and declares ,"Now , By God !, I've heard enough of this shit !"
Mom jumps between them and screams ,"DON'T YOU HIT MY BOY WITH THAT SKILLET !"
Dad looks at her incredulously and says , "Hit him with the skillet ? Good God , Woman ! I'm gonna fry him a steak . He can't keep fuckin like that on those God Damned MILK SHAKES !"..................................................

[jon1163]

Johnny came home late from school . Mom was fixin supper and Dad was havin his first drink of the evening .
Mom ," Why are you late ?"
Johnny ,"I was having sex with my art teacher ."
Mom , " OOHH ! I don't approve of what you've been doing . But , since you were honest , I'll fix you a milk shake ."
Dad just poured another drink .
Next day Johnny's late again .
Mom ,"Why are you late ?"
Johnny ,"I was having sex with my math teacher ."
Mom ,"OOHH ! I don't approve of what you were doing . But , since you were honest , I'll fix you a milk shake ."
Dad just poured another drink .
Next day Johnny's late again .
Mom ,"Why are you late ?"
Johnny ,"I was having sex with my social studies teacher ."
Mom ," Ooooh , my ! I don't approve of what you were doing . But , for being honest , I'll fix you a mil."
Dad , downing his second drink , comes out of his chair , grabs a cast iron skillet and declares ,"Now , By God !, I've heard enough of this shit !"
Mom jumps between them and screams ,"DON'T YOU HIT MY BOY WITH THAT SKILLET !"
Dad looks at her incredulously and says , "Hit him with the skillet ? Good God , Woman ! I'm gonna fry him a steak . He can't keep fuckin like that on those God Damned MILK SHAKES !"..................................................

teachers.... seems like you can make fun of anyone nowadays, except Mexicans...... that would be crossing the border.

[Copperhead road]

Weasel walks into a bar,

The bartender looks up and says “WOW! In all my years tending bars, I’ve never had a weasel stop by. What can I get you ?”

”Pop,” goes the weasel.

[jon1163]

Weasel walks into a bar,

The bartender looks up and says “WOW! In all my years tending bars, I’ve never had a weasel stop by. What can I get you ?”

”Pop,” goes the weasel.

oh boy... lol

[thecroweater]

This champ walks into a singles bar and after ordering a beer turns to the lass next to him and says, can I smell your nickers? She says NO ya can't sleezo, so he say ok might be ya feet then .

[HDNB]

A bodybuilder was admiring his body in the mirror when he noticed he was suntanned everywhere but his penis. So, he went to the beach, naked, and buried himself in the sand with only his penis sticking out.

Two elderly ladies walked by and saw this penis sticking out of the sand. One of them moved it around with her cane. She said to her friend, "There isn't any justice in this world."

Her friend asked her what she meant.

"When I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I demanded it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot about it. And now that I'm 80, the damn things are growing wild, and I'm too old to squat."

[Truckinbutch]

A rooster sez ,'COCKADOODLEDOOOO!"
>
>
>
>
An old lady sez ,"ANYCOCKLDOOO!"

[thecroweater]

One for the kiwis. What's a hindu? Lays eggs bro

[heynonny]

[Kareltje]

A local chemist had a machine for taking your number. The top button said: press this button if you want a ticket. The second butten said: press this button if you don't know which button to press.

[kiwi Bruce]

RING RING RING
Operator :- Hello, this is 911, what's your emergency?
Woman :- My husband was cleaning his pistol, and it went off...it shot him...I think he's dead!
Operator :- OK Ma'am, I want you to stay calm, the EMT's and the Police are on their way. Could you please go and check on your husband, I want you to make sure he's dead, can you do that for me?
Woman :- OK I'm putting the phone down and I'll check him now....
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Woman :- OK He's dead, what do you want me to do now?

[acfixer69]

RING RING RING
Operator :- Hello, this is 911, what's your emergency?
Woman :- My husband was cleaning his pistol, and it went off...it shot him...I think he's dead!
Operator :- OK Ma'am, I want you to stay calm, the EMT's and the Police are on their way. Could you please go and check on your husband, I want you to make sure he's dead, can you do that for me?
Woman :- OK I'm putting the phone down and I'll check him now....
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Woman :- OK He's dead, what do you want me to do now?

I like that LOL my dark humor

[Bushman]

[CaptMorgan]

I would guess y'all know the three rings of marriage:

The engagement ring
The wedding ring
The suffer ring!

[Bushman]

[TDick]

RING RING RING

Call 911!

[Bushman]

I am not sure how young kids starting out can get ahead!

[kiwi Bruce]

Sheilas can be a bit silly with this fence business, check out these kiwi chicks
https://youtu.be/p9YJlLNTI1E" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow

Some funny Shi#

[Bushman]

Mom: hey do you kids want anything to eat?

Kids: what are the choices?

Mom: yes or no

[TDick]

Heard this on the radio today.

"I drink brake fluid."
"I can stop any time."

[Blarney Stoned]

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence & distance.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She loudly & emphatically told Frank, (and several others), that everyone seeing it there knew exactly what he was doing!


Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He simply said nothing. Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house, walked home, and left his pickup there all night!


Your move Mildred.!!!

[TDick]

Your move Mildred.!!!

Im Laughing.jpg (21.23 KiB) Viewed 2730 times

[HDNB]

just snooping around the forum and noticed the order of hierarchy around here...posted at the bottom of the index page:

Legend: Administrators, Angel's Share, Global moderators, Retired Site Mngment, Site Donor, Site Moderator

at least i know my rank. pushing the broom as usual.

[thecroweater]

just snooping around the forum and noticed the order of hierarchy around here...posted at the bottom of the index page:

Legend: Administrators, Angel's Share, Global moderators, Retired Site Mngment, Site Donor, Site Moderator
at least i know my rank. pushing the broom as usual.

How did you get the broom off of Bushie and who the hell is gonna help me with this privy box