The liar's bench

[frodo]

How did you tear up your shoulder fishing?
I am curious, Because we went cat fishing on the Mississippi. found a nice tributary to run up and set a trout line when a f----- big ass Asian carp jumped up damn near knocked me out. thing was 2' long and every bit 15 pounds.
fell off my head, hit the gas line and pulled it loose from the motor.
now we are stuck out in the damn rivah with 1 broken paddle....
here is the fish

[Truckinbutch]

Legs don't work all that well due to bad knees and lower spine injuries . Rather unremarkable fuckup . Just got my feet tangled and fell on my shoulder . Shit happens ...
I couldn't let that hamper a fishin trip we had driven 1,100 miles to do .
These city doctors got no idea . Now , I done fished 3 days after the fall and took my half of drivin 1,100 miles home and saw him a week post accident :
Verdict was that I'm not a candidate for corrective surgery . So we strap my arm in a sling tight to my chest for a month and come back and see him in one month (next Wednesday) and he will prescribe therapy .
WTF ! So , I drive a standard shift car . My farm tractor has 12 levers that need to be articulated when I use it . 8 are on the right side . I wipe my ass with my right hand .
That sling got shitcanned the next morning when I needed to drive to the local 'jot em down' for a 30 pack .
I expect that next Wednesday's dr visit is going to be interesting , but brief .
Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down . Beyond that , never quit ......

[frodo]

Legs don't work all that well due to bad knees and lower spine injuries . Rather unremarkable fuckup . Just got my feet tangled and fell on my shoulder . Shit happens ...
I couldn't let that hamper a fishin trip we had driven 1,100 miles to do .
These city doctors got no idea . Now , I done fished 3 days after the fall and took my half of drivin 1,100 miles home and saw him a week post accident :
Verdict was that I'm not a candidate for corrective surgery . So we strap my arm in a sling tight to my chest for a month and come back and see him in one month (next Wednesday) and he will prescribe therapy .
WTF ! So , I drive a standard shift car . My farm tractor has 12 levers that need to be articulated when I use it . 8 are on the right side . I wipe my ass with my right hand .
That sling got shitcanned the next morning when I needed to drive to the local 'jot em down' for a 30 pack .
I expect that next Wednesday's dr visit is going to be interesting , but brief .
Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down . Beyond that , never quit ......

Prayers for ya Doctor to have skills and wisdom to use them.
Prayers for you to listen to your doctor every now and then
I know the feeling of being broke up and pinned together.

Jamais Arriere = never backup, Clan Douglas

[johnsparrow]

Legs don't work all that well due to bad knees and lower spine injuries . Rather unremarkable fuckup . Just got my feet tangled and fell on my shoulder . Shit happens ...
I couldn't let that hamper a fishin trip we had driven 1,100 miles to do .
These city doctors got no idea . Now , I done fished 3 days after the fall and took my half of drivin 1,100 miles home and saw him a week post accident :
Verdict was that I'm not a candidate for corrective surgery . So we strap my arm in a sling tight to my chest for a month and come back and see him in one month (next Wednesday) and he will prescribe therapy .
WTF ! So , I drive a standard shift car . My farm tractor has 12 levers that need to be articulated when I use it . 8 are on the right side . I wipe my ass with my right hand .
That sling got shitcanned the next morning when I needed to drive to the local 'jot em down' for a 30 pack .
I expect that next Wednesday's dr visit is going to be interesting , but brief .
Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down . Beyond that , never quit ......

Prayers for ya Doctor to have skills and wisdom to use them.
Prayers for you to listen to your doctor every now and then
I know the feeling of being broke up and pinned together.

Jamais Arriere = never backup, Clan Douglas

Hey Frodo.

Nice to see you back. Those slings you sent out this way are doing the business

[corene1]

Well folks this is completely off track of the current discussion but thought I would share. I was up to the archery range this morning doing some work and loaded up 2 of our 3D foam animal targets that needed repair. Well It is about a 45 mile trip from the range to my house with a 14 mile twisty section through the Kern River canyon, ( Yes Merle Haggard has a song about this river) Anyways about halfway through the canyon a CHP lights me up and pulls me over. As he starts walking up to my truck I see this look of stupidity all over his face and the first thing he says is Oh these are not real animals. I guess when I drove by him he saw the horns , holes in the animals and saw blood coming out of them . I so wanted to say ,yea I shot this sucker about 500 times with my AK and he is bleeding fluorescent orange blood. Nope I didn't say it but I sure thought it. Then he asks if anyone else had ever pulled me over when I had targets in the back . I wanted to say nope, never had no one that couldn't tell a target from the real thing but in my better judgement I said sure it happens all the time. I am getting so mellow in my old age. By the way TB , you sound like you are falling apart. What you going to do when you get my age?

[frodo]

Legs don't work all that well due to bad knees and lower spine injuries . Rather unremarkable fuckup . Just got my feet tangled and fell on my shoulder . Shit happens ...
I couldn't let that hamper a fishin trip we had driven 1,100 miles to do .
These city doctors got no idea . Now , I done fished 3 days after the fall and took my half of drivin 1,100 miles home and saw him a week post accident :
Verdict was that I'm not a candidate for corrective surgery . So we strap my arm in a sling tight to my chest for a month and come back and see him in one month (next Wednesday) and he will prescribe therapy .
WTF ! So , I drive a standard shift car . My farm tractor has 12 levers that need to be articulated when I use it . 8 are on the right side . I wipe my ass with my right hand .
That sling got shitcanned the next morning when I needed to drive to the local 'jot em down' for a 30 pack .
I expect that next Wednesday's dr visit is going to be interesting , but brief .
Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down . Beyond that , never quit ......

Prayers for ya Doctor to have skills and wisdom to use them.
Prayers for you to listen to your doctor every now and then
I know the feeling of being broke up and pinned together.

Jamais Arriere = never backup, Clan Douglas

Hey Frodo.

Nice to see you back. Those slings you sent out this way are doing the business

Glad you liked it,
made a guitar sling last month, for a local Blues Player

They had me in the hospital for 6 months, it was pretty bad, My stomach had an ulcer, I went into septic shock, went into a coma, The priest was summoned to my room and people cried.
but they forgot to ask me my damn opinion. I was not ready to go.
they told my wife if I did not snap out of it after 24 hours, I was not coming back. so like a drama queen,,I waited till 26 hours, then came back.
it was funny as hell, I was on fentinol and I swear to god I was deep sea fishing with my buddies, i can tell you conversations we had and fish we caught, it WAS REAL but i never left the hospital bed
then i had to learn to walk and all that shit,

[frodo]

Well folks this is completely off track of the current discussion but thought I would share. I was up to the archery range this morning doing some work and loaded up 2 of our 3D foam animal targets that needed repair. Well It is about a 45 mile trip from the range to my house with a 14 mile twisty section through the Kern River canyon, ( Yes Merle Haggard has a song about this river) Anyways about halfway through the canyon a CHP lights me up and pulls me over. As he starts walking up to my truck I see this look of stupidity all over his face and the first thing he says is Oh these are not real animals. I guess when I drove by him he saw the horns , holes in the animals and saw blood coming out of them . I so wanted to say ,yea I shot this sucker about 500 times with my AK and he is bleeding fluorescent orange blood. Nope I didn't say it but I sure thought it. Then he asks if anyone else had ever pulled me over when I had targets in the back . I wanted to say nope, never had no one that couldn't tell a target from the real thing but in my better judgement I said sure it happens all the time. I am getting so mellow in my old age. By the way TB , you sound like you are falling apart. What you going to do when you get my age?

DSC00204.JPG

NOW THATS funny,

[cob]

I got pulled over for driving a red car with a ponytail. .

the trooper that pulled me over said I failed to signal to merge.

I was on a mile long single lane on ramp and pulled over as soon as the lights

came on and was only half way down the ramp. I said there is no

merge on this ramp. He said I'm writing you a citation for no seatbelt.

$175 fine, I called his boss, and the only satisfaction was telling his boss

that one citizen thought that particular trooper was a C...S....ING liar.

[HDNB]

They sure don't hire police ossifers for their university degrees, now do they?

[frodo]

On Christmas eve I was headed to my parents house. It is a 10 hour drive.
somewhere in Texas, I was pulled over by a Trooper, He said I was going 40 mph over the speed limit and I told him I wanted to see the radar gun read out, That their is no way I was going that fast with the cruse control on. Then He accused me of drinking, He said he was trained to detect it, I told him he needed to be retrained because I have not had anything but FOLGERS to drink all day.
So he writes me a ticket 40 over.
I am pissed,
time comes to pay the ticket, And I refuse, I took a day off, drove 4 hours to fight this in court.
I was making my case to the judge , and told her My cruse was set at 70 so I know their was....
she interrupted me. Did you just say your cruse was set at 70? I said yes mam.
she droped the hammer on the desk, Guilty speeding 5 mph over the speed limit.
DAMNIT. I told on myself in court

[cob]

They sure don't hire police ossifers for their university degrees, now do they?

I was way more miffed by that particular troopers complete lack of integrity. lying ba....d

[shadylane]

I got out of a speeding ticket many years ago
The officer asked if I knew why he had pulled me over.
I replied with a smile "because even with a gun, badge and flashing lights, no one of the opposite sex would stop for him"
He started laughing "that's what my ex-wife once said"

[Truckinbutch]

By the way TB , you sound like you are falling apart. What you going to do when you get my age?
Well , what I always tole you I'd do , Gal . I'll come around and smear your lipstick instead of causing your mascara to run . There's some parts of me that ain't fell off . The huggin and kissin parts .

[corene1]

By the way TB , you sound like you are falling apart. What you going to do when you get my age?
Well , what I always tole you I'd do , Gal . I'll come around and smear your lipstick instead of causing your mascara to run . There's some parts of me that ain't fell off . The huggin and kissin parts .

Long as you don't go smearin it by rubbin my face in the dirt for makin fun of you. I am back up an runnin so to speak, my new hip is workin just fine. Matter of fact I will be runnin bout 50 gallons of rum wash today. Maybe I 'll save you a bit. Good stuff too . Molasses and red wheat malt.

[Truckinbutch]

Glad to hear that the hip replacement is workin well . SOH is getting the second shoulder replacement in 3 weeks .

[cranky]

I got pulled over once in my '66 gladiator for going 65 in a 55. Remember the days of "55 saves lives"? Well, cop pulls me over said I was speeding I argued and pissed him off, told him it wasn't possible because I was going up hill and my truck wasn't capable of going that fast. He showed me his radar and it was one that could clock you twice, one said 65 the other 45. I pointed this out and was told "I was going to give you a friendly warning but if your going to argue I'm going to write you a ticket!" I was about a week from leaving for Alaska and didn't have time to fight it in court so I shut up but I know for a fact that truck couldn't go that fast, up hill with partial throttle it was just too low geared. I did once get clocked at 68 with my foot on the floor and the engine screaming at red line, going down a steep mountain with a 40 MPH tailwind but that was everything it had. For the most part I seldom drove that truck over 45 but it could literally go anywhere at that speed.

[distiller_dresden]

By the way TB , you sound like you are falling apart. What you going to do when you get my age?
Well , what I always tole you I'd do , Gal . I'll come around and smear your lipstick instead of causing your mascara to run . There's some parts of me that ain't fell off . The huggin and kissin parts .

Long as you don't go smearin it by rubbin my face in the dirt for makin fun of you. I am back up an runnin so to speak, my new hip is workin just fine. Matter of fact I will be runnin bout 50 gallons of rum wash today. Maybe I 'll save you a bit. Good stuff too . Molasses and red wheat malt.

That is good stuff! I got 6L in a badmo right now and its smooth an sweet.

[johnsparrow]

Legs don't work all that well due to bad knees and lower spine injuries . Rather unremarkable fuckup . Just got my feet tangled and fell on my shoulder . Shit happens ...
I couldn't let that hamper a fishin trip we had driven 1,100 miles to do .
These city doctors got no idea . Now , I done fished 3 days after the fall and took my half of drivin 1,100 miles home and saw him a week post accident :
Verdict was that I'm not a candidate for corrective surgery . So we strap my arm in a sling tight to my chest for a month and come back and see him in one month (next Wednesday) and he will prescribe therapy .
WTF ! So , I drive a standard shift car . My farm tractor has 12 levers that need to be articulated when I use it . 8 are on the right side . I wipe my ass with my right hand .
That sling got shitcanned the next morning when I needed to drive to the local 'jot em down' for a 30 pack .
I expect that next Wednesday's dr visit is going to be interesting , but brief .
Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down . Beyond that , never quit ......

Prayers for ya Doctor to have skills and wisdom to use them.
Prayers for you to listen to your doctor every now and then
I know the feeling of being broke up and pinned together.

Jamais Arriere = never backup, Clan Douglas

Hey Frodo.

Nice to see you back. Those slings you sent out this way are doing the business

Glad you liked it,
made a guitar sling last month, for a local Blues Player

guitar strap.jpg

They had me in the hospital for 6 months, it was pretty bad, My stomach had an ulcer, I went into septic shock, went into a coma, The priest was summoned to my room and people cried.
but they forgot to ask me my damn opinion. I was not ready to go.
they told my wife if I did not snap out of it after 24 hours, I was not coming back. so like a drama queen,,I waited till 26 hours, then came back.
it was funny as hell, I was on fentinol and I swear to god I was deep sea fishing with my buddies, i can tell you conversations we had and fish we caught, it WAS REAL but i never left the hospital bed
then i had to learn to walk and all that shit,

I for one am glad you are still with us, your presence makes the world a brighter place me old mate

[frodo]

I for one am glad you are still with us, your presence makes the world a brighter place me old mate

Thanks, standing in front of the reaper and flipping his ass off is a humbling experience

here is a gory picture, of the ''Borg''

[Truckinbutch]

I'm glad you're here , too , Frodo . Hearing those angel's wings flappin is nothing to be scoffed .

[johnsparrow]

I for one am glad you are still with us, your presence makes the world a brighter place me old mate

Thanks, standing in front of the reaper and flipping his ass off is a humbling experience

here is a gory picture, of the ''Borg''

DSCN5290 (1).JPG

That, Frodo, does not look like very much fun at all!

[Yonder]

Frodo, i don't know what the hell that is but I damned sure don't want one.

[frodo]

Frodo, i don't know what the hell that is but I damned sure don't want one.

NO, you dont, I have been a simulated into the Borg collective
and am looking for 7 of 9 loll

[Almtngoat]

Dang the bench is quiet let me waken it up with a mighty Roll Tide Roll !!!! I have been occupied with the World Climbing Championship in Innsbruck Austria. I love football but if you want to see some absolutely incredible athletes plug IFSC into you tube. I was a very good climber in my day and these guys and gals smoke my mind. Hint dudes, all these girls are very+ pretty and very worth watching them climb.Rock climbing is the sport that truelly activated my heart, it is you versus the rock, nothing else matters, a zone of silence and concentration, feeling every muscle burn while pulling for that next hold. There is nothing like it in my book. I am sure some Motocross and mountain bikkers will disagree and that is totally cool with me. Extreme sports rock!

[Shine0n]

Sitting at the bench I figured I'd pull some of my best peach to share, I'm blessed to have shared this with my peers now friends and split the rest of the quart for them to have for their own.
Now this is still sitting at 130 p and will make you spin a good yarn so be careful boys not to stretch the truth too much.
As the weekend was short I got to meet and talk to some of the most respected guys around the forum, TB and I shared battle scar stories and talked life for a while and sure glad we did.

[distiller_dresden]

and split the rest of the quart for them to have for their own.

Feckin' bloody HELL leavin' early has consequences. Shite! :*(

[Truckinbutch]

and split the rest of the quart for them to have for their own.

Feckin' bloody HELL leavin' early has consequences. Shite! :*(

Yepper . Understand why you had to leave early . Still , there are consequences . Stickin around the fire until the last dog is hung delivers some benefits .
SOH and I will hoist the 4 oz I brought home in toast to all and the memory of a good time had by all .
SOH missed all you folks , too . She's hinted that she might let me host another gathering year after next .
Somebody else will have to pick up the slack next year . That's already being discussed .
Stuff that dreams are made of .........

[BayouShine]

Yepper . Understand why you had to leave early . Still , there are consequences . Stickin around the fire until the last dog is hung delivers some benefits .
SOH and I will hoist the 4 oz I brought home in toast to all and the memory of a good time had by all .
SOH missed all you folks , too . She's hinted that she might let me host another gathering year after next .
Somebody else will have to pick up the slack next year . That's already being discussed .
Stuff that dreams are made of .........

Think I can twist her arm a bit with another offering of Amaretto?

[Truckinbutch]

Yepper . Understand why you had to leave early . Still , there are consequences . Stickin around the fire until the last dog is hung delivers some benefits .
SOH and I will hoist the 4 oz I brought home in toast to all and the memory of a good time had by all .
SOH missed all you folks , too . She's hinted that she might let me host another gathering year after next .
Somebody else will have to pick up the slack next year . That's already being discussed .
Stuff that dreams are made of .........

Think I can twist her arm a bit with another offering of Amaretto?

Be my guest to try . Friends often hold sway where I fail .

[cranky]

This post might be best placed in the Home Distillers Anonymous thread but I noticed nobody has been around the bench lately

I just realized, as of a week ago I have been a member here for 5 years now I was actually a lurker for some time before that and still have a bottle of all-bran that I made back in 2013. I found it the other day and tried it and I still think it's pretty darn good. It's amazing what you can accomplish with a little reading