The liar's bench

[fizzix]

Was camping and hiking in our favorite haunt when we traipsed near some stoner hillbillies' camp.
There had been gunfire, and we figured best be at the source rather than down range.
Their camp was a mixed flurry of hilarious laughter and raged cursing by the time we arrived and said our hello's.

Apparently one of the hillbillies was spotting his new rifle sight with the rifle steadied on the roof of his car.
The new sight had a clear view of the intended target, but the muzzle was angled just enough to intercept the car's roof.
He had fired a round, it went through the roof and followed the curve of the headliner to a downward path right through the rear passenger window
and out through the bottom of the door into the dirt.

[fizzix]

Merry Christmas!
Just got done shopping for EVERYONE at Home Distiller!
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[jedneck]

Merry Christmas!
Just got done shopping for EVERYONE at Home Distiller!
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

coal.jpg

just what me n momma wanted. Know my dinner plate be full n house warm. No lie i heat with coal n cook on a coal/wood fired cookstove

[fizzix]

just what me n momma wanted...

On it's way!

[Truckinbutch]

Been following an armored car highway spill up in NJ . Seems that the truck spilled about half a million and citizens picked up somewhere around 300k of it as a Christmas bonus . Now the cops are trying to shame them into giving it back .
What kind of a waterhead would do that ?
Hope one of our brethren got some of this windfall and is smart enough to NOT mention it .
Just write a thank you note to Santa and enjoy .

[HDNB]

Been following an armored car highway spill up in NJ . Seems that the truck spilled about half a million and citizens picked up somewhere around 300k of it as a Christmas bonus . Now the cops are trying to shame them into giving it back .
What kind of a waterhead would do that ?
Hope one of our brethren got some of this windfall and is smart enough to NOT mention it .
Just write a thank you note to Santa and enjoy .

Long been one of my fantasies to find a bag 'o cash on the road from an armoured car spill. I have always kept my eyes open when walking or driving around, i was well trained at the horse track as a kid. Throughout the years i found thousands of dollars that people have lost or discarded. ( in cash and in parimutual tickets)) My best score in tickets was 3 twenty dollar show tickets fanned out on the ground like a poker hand. the purchaser must have not known how the payouts worked...the horse had actually won the race as somewhat of a longshot and of course paid to win, place or show....almost 500 in mid 1970's money!
when i was 14 i found a wad of cash just over 1400....went a bought a new motorcycle that day!

Thought i hit the mother lode on day when driving down the highway. There was a 18 x18 x 4" yellow canvas bag laying just off the driving lane. slammed on the brakes and swerved over, open the door and scooped the bag up quick as you please....and really wish i had not. The bag was some sort of firefighting equipment, it was used to build a temporary dam to redirect water flow from firefighting activities...and had been used. It stunk so bad of wood fire i immediately pulled over to get rid of it and made a mad dash for the nearest fuel station to wash my hands and buy an air fresherener for the car!!

[corene1]

Well quite a while ago I was talkin to a good friend of mine and he was tellin tales of the old days and some things they would do for fun and entertainment. Well one thing was they would get an old suitcase and fill it full of snakes they could find. Non poisonous of course . Well they would take that old suitcase and lay it on the side of the hi way and wait in the bushes for someone to come and scoop it up real quick like . Wasn't another 100 foot and the brakes was on hard and the suitcase would come flyin out the door. They would then go get it , catch up the snakes and do it again. Lot of fun was had during those warm summer days.

[corene1]

Where the heck are all you fellers at. You must be gettin old and takin naps in front of the TV! I guess I'm gonna have ta wake you up since I got some time on my hands right now. Yep! I screwed up again and tried to do a compression test of 2 pieces of steel. One was a hammer and one was some steel and the test medium was my finger. Darn near cut it off as well as shattering the bone so here I am home again by myself typing with one finger with a cast and some pins sticking out of the other one. Now if I can only find that jug that ol TB left here a while back. See here? it ain't so bad,

[Bushman]

Maybe we can raise a glass to recovery!

[corene1]

What the heck did you do!? Heck, I got some walker parts and some crutches left over from my hip replacement, you need to borrow them? Just a little tip, norco and whisky don't play well together.

[HDNB]

on the bright side Corene, fingers heal up really well. I'd show you a pic of my pinky from a couple years ago but i don't want anyone losing their lunch. 26 months later it's almost like it never happened. (except for the scar and the lack of feeling )

I dunno about that leg though Bushy...had a horse like that and the vet said i should shoot him. I tried that but it didn't help...a week later he still couldn't use that leg.

[Bushman]

I had my heel moved over and pinned and a tendon reattached.

[Truckinbutch]

Noise dampening a steel on steel impact with a finger as the buffer rarely has a positive outcome . I bet ya saw that happen and started using your 'barn talk' to get ahead of when it started hurting .
Coal field DR's would set injured fingers at a fixed curvature that would fit around a pick handle . Total rehab cost comp a lot of money and amputation gave lifelong comp payments to the amputee . Nonstarter . Personal safety can not stand in the way of production .
I'd offer to kiss it to make it feel better but , given my sour nature , it would prolly make it fester .

[corene1]

Na, Way too many anti biotics in there but, It is wrapped up with more stuff than you can image. That pin sticking out is a real pain in the a though.

[Kareltje]

It is nice to know you have a proper and sound system of health care and a solid system to pay for that.
Still, that is.

But I wish you all the best, corene.
All the strength you need for your physical and psychical harms and all the release you can get.

[ga flatwoods]

Merry Christmas bench sitters! I've been MIA but not without the occasional thought of you all. 2018 has been a busy year for ole Flatwoods. Much to do around the farm mostly cutting grass, killing grass n weeds, plowing, shed building, cane syrup cooker building, raising cane (!), fertilizing, stripping, cutting, grinding, and cooking cane syrup. Both the art of syruping and stilling are hard work and nearly lost crafts. But with the tremendous help of this forum and its emphasis on safe, practical methods with quality of primary importance, I know that there are at least a few artisans amongst the confines of these topics of discussion. There has and always be the quick passes through and the ones gaining information for illegitimate use, but there always has been. Overall, the folks here are good people and fine folks. I am proud to call many of the members here my friends- some I have spoken to over the tele, some met in person, some only through the forum and messaging, and a few through exchange of wares. As long as I have been out, many today will not know me. So it is in life. You live and work, try to make a difference for the time given, pass and are remembered by only a few. Words live on though. My words, along g with many of the former members are buried here in. My gift for you this season is a reminder. Take the time to go back and look at some of the good things done and said by the older members, even this topic! There is much to be garnished anew! Now as a reminder you may need to take some of the things Truckinbutch said with a grain of salt- he is the creator of this topic ya know! Again merry Christmas and happy New Year to all!
Sincerely,
GA Flatwoods

[corene1]

Merry Christmas to you as well MR. Flatwoods. Your knowledge and wisdom have always been a source of information to us all. Your ability to paint pictures with the written word is also a blessing to all of us here at the bench. Your place at the bench will always be here,as there is no one that could fill it as well. It has been a pleasure to know you even if only through the forums here, and many thanks for all your help and kind words. Even ol TB talks good about you when you are not around.

[thecroweater]

Well didn't I have an interesting Sunday afternoon reading on the net today. I was looking up a friends ancestor and for some reason it took me to the S A Police Gazette files 1874-1879 so I started reading through, come across complaints about sly grog and illicit spirit. Soon after there is a reference to the local paper (Advertiser) having a write up on it early 1876. This is followed by a bunch of pubs, motels and licenced hawkers getting charged with "sly grogging" (bootlegging) , anyways going through the names and one familiar one pops up that is my Grandfather's maternal great uncle followed shortly after by his Grandfather being charged with basically shinning. Seems ole uncle got busted but charges on my Great great Granddad were dropped insufficient evidence, spurious charges no doubt. It's kinda humorous in light of these fellas being deeply religious and known for very hard working. This is the same bloke I mentioned many pages back that bought his wife a two shear plough for her 40th birthday so she could spend less time in the field. Anyway it got me interested enough to look online at the Advertiser records and sure as god made little ants there it was April 20 1876 big bitch and moan article about sly grog and illicit spirits with all the hackneyed arguments about it being of low quality causing terror and violence. Not at all like the passive and calming effect that tax has on liquor , some things just do never change bout all I got to say there
On hackneyed arguments that is

[Truckinbutch]

Some things just ain't goin to change are they Mate .

[thecroweater]

One of the many articles on the subject from the 1870s lest anyone should think a liars bench story were embellished
https://trove.nla.gov.au/newspaper/article/31967813" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow

[Truckinbutch]

Interesting heads up from my assistant chief of police son in law last Friday .Seems that all the LEO's in his and 2 adjacent counties have formed a brewing club . Beer , wine , AND distilled spirits . Makes me feel safe to put my rig back in use .
We'll see ......

[cob]

Interesting heads up from my assistant chief of police son in law last Friday .Seems that all the LEO's in his and 2 adjacent counties have formed a brewing club . Beer , wine , AND distilled spirits . Makes me feel safe to put my rig back in use .
We'll see ......

TB; I know it's family and all, but that still smells like bait.

[Oldvine Zin]

TTB is shut down so might be good for a little while

OVZ

[Truckinbutch]

Interesting heads up from my assistant chief of police son in law last Friday .Seems that all the LEO's in his and 2 adjacent counties have formed a brewing club . Beer , wine , AND distilled spirits . Makes me feel safe to put my rig back in use .
We'll see ......

TB; I know it's family and all, but that still smells like bait.

Naw . That child can't be hooked wrong . You can hook him near or off and he will still get in the collar . Traffic safe and doesn't shy from gunfire .
I mentioned it because it seems that local LEO will not make it a priority if drugs or minors are not involved .
Imagine my chickenshit nephew trying to dime me out to a cop that is running a still more sophisticated than the one I was running . Especially when he is a notorious game law violator and I have video to verify .
It's going to be an interesting year .

[corene1]

Maybe you should offer yourself up as a distilling adviser and see what they are up to first before you start getting set up. Sort of a reconnaissance mission. so to speak.

[Yonder]

Well, hell, I guess it's time to go off topic and get back on track at the bench. Probably, one of the best practical jokes i done in the Army used a party popper. Asshole of a supervisor needed a quick lession so we took a popper and fixed it to the back of his center desk drawer. Tied that to the back of his drawer, along with the ring and pin from an expended grenade. He come in next morning an opened his drawer, the popper went bang... The grenade ring dropped down were he could see it... And I never saw someone unass the AO so fast in my life. Never laughed so hard in my life! Complete change of attitude.

[Shine0n]

Funny shit there Yonder!

[Shine0n]

Butch, bring a bottle of Jim Beam to the gathering as it is "distilled spirits" and say that's what you thought they were talking about and look at their faces. lol

Be careful my friend because you never know who's driving the bus about to run you down.

[thecroweater]

I attended a distillers meeting a few days back in northern Tasmania and while over here have traveled around the last few days sight seeing and visiting distilleries. I came across a small town of Kempton where we stayed as two we'll know distilleries are there for Suzie and I to visit in the morning. I got up early in the morning to explore this very old town and found some stuff that might be of interest to anyone interested in American and Canadian history
The prisoners from the Patriot Wars were sentenced to transportation to Australia and the American militia were sent to Van Deimans Land (Tasmania). At some stage a large number of them were held at kempton involved in quarrying and construction
Here is a church build by the American convicts

[kiwi Bruce]

Here we are mid Feb...the bench has been very quiet of late...I hope all of you with wounds and injuries are healing well