The liar's bench

[Truckinbutch]

The Civil War has been officially been reopened !
Last month the Governor of PA closed the liquor stores statewide . Dumb move , I think ; but , what do I know .
I live right on the Mason/Dixon line in WV .
Them PA folks started pillaging our liquor stores when their's got shut down . Creating a shortage for us .
Toda.......... I guess it's yesterday now our County Commission (who likes their drop) decreed that there could be NO LIQUOR PURCHASES in my county by anyone who was not a WV resident .
Sound like history repeating it's self ?
I see a golden opportunity , historically speaking ,in these '20's for a resurgence in bootlegging .
What kind of a waterhead would try to tell a whole state that they can't have no more likker unless he already figured out how to make a profit out of it ?

[Yonder]

Just another shot over the lines. Keep yer powder dry and your caps to hand, TB. As was once written, these are times that try men’s souls. I tend my garden and keep my own council but woe betide ye who f*ks with me or mine.

[thecroweater]

We got restrictions here on how much we can buy, wasn't going to bring it up incase it printed folks to get political but God damn. What bureaucrat decided he had the God given right to say how much anyone can buy and Brow beat retail into introducing such rules. To my knowledge temperance has no effect on viruses and all the liquor stores are open so what's the deal, cause it don't effect me a whole lot personally but if you are going to stomp on people's natural rights ya really should attempt to dream up some sort of justification.

[Truckinbutch]

Strange times we are living in . May be time to liberate that monkey . He seemed to have some creative ideas to solve a crisis or create one .

[jedneck]

surely ya don’t want the monkey let loose. That damn monkey is good at makin a mess not fixin one

[Truckinbutch]

surely ya don’t want the monkey let loose. That damn monkey is good at makin a mess not fixin one

True , dat . Even so ; he does provide a distraction .

[jedneck]

Miss corene and miss sarah do also
nite all

[Truckinbutch]

Just realized that I have benefited from this shelter in place virus protection .
My big block F 150 Ford has gotten 3 weeks to a gallon of gas . Drove it around the house twice to circulate fluids and top up the battery.

[cob]

TB 18 years ago I parked my '78 f250 highboy 4x4 with a 600hp 460 conversion.

that's when I sold my last trailerable big sailboat.

[Truckinbutch]

Pennsylvania just won the "Who can party harder" contest during the Covid 19 quarantine .
They done been kicked out of WV and OH liker stores for the duration .
That's class .

[ga flatwoods]

Ya can betcha ass them Penn heads ain't hurtin for no whisky. They drink beer but some know lickers quicker and how to make it. Them damn Amish are makin a killen just now. All them carriages got hidden drawers with pints and halfs loaded with straw twinx to keep em from ratlin'! To get yours just pull along side and lay down on your horn to get their attention then ask if they have any "sip off da cow" with them. Oh they will look like they dont know what the hell you talkin bout, but its a farce, they know and waiti g on you to make an offer for how much you want.
Ga Flatwoods

[shadylane]

Might as well tell this in the Liar's bench, nobody would believe it anywhere else.
A couple days ago, I was tilling the garden with a 300 international utility tractor.
Needed to make some adjustments to the 3 point hitch
So I shut off the tractor, jumped off and made the changes
When I got back on, pushed in the clutch and turned on the ignition
The engine backfired, stumbled and started running without hitting the starter button

[Jstroke]

Shady,

I am no mechanic. And it would be interesting to hear others opinions. Sounds to me like maybe fuel hit the manifold or something else hot. Like I said I know zip about diesels not sure how they work.

[cranky]

Might as well tell this in the Liar's bench, nobody would believe it anywhere else.
A couple days ago, I was tilling the garden with a 300 international utility tractor.
Needed to make some adjustments to the 3 point hitch
So I shut off the tractor, jumped off and made the changes
When I got back on, pushed in the clutch and turned on the ignition
The engine backfired, stumbled and started running without hitting the starter button

I think your tractor is haunted

[RC Al]

Diesel wasn't an option on those till the 350 model from what I can tell, so normal engine diagnosis... it's a low compression engine so it wouldn't take much to start like that, maybe make sure your carb ain't leaking, possibly putting the clutch in let the engine relieve some compression, turned a bit, letting the ignition spark as it was live, possibly might have been running very rich - how long since you did a basic tune on it?

[MichiganCornhusker]

All them carriages got hidden drawers with pints and halfs loaded with straw twinx to keep em from ratlin'!

Truth.

[shadylane]

Diesel wasn't an option on those till the 350 model from what I can tell, so normal engine diagnosis... it's a low compression engine so it wouldn't take much to start like that, maybe make sure your carb ain't leaking, possibly putting the clutch in let the engine relieve some compression, turned a bit, letting the ignition spark as it was live, possibly might have been running very rich - how long since you did a basic tune on it?

The old tractor isn't completely stock
The head has been milled and ported, over sized sleeves with high compression pistons, reground cam and electronic ignition
The only thing I can think of is when I shut it off and let it coast to a stop in gear.
One of the cylinders stopped a little past TDC
When I turned the ignition back on the switch didn't made good contact at first and the sparkplug fired.

[cranky]

...I shut it off and let it coast to a stop in gear...

And now we know the rest of the story

[Truckinbutch]

You must have done a good rebuild .

[Truckinbutch]

Ya can betcha ass them Penn heads ain't hurtin for no whisky. They drink beer but some know lickers quicker and how to make it. Them damn Amish are makin a killen just now. All them carriages got hidden drawers with pints and halfs loaded with straw twinx to keep em from ratlin'! To get yours just pull along side and lay down on your horn to get their attention then ask if they have any "sip off da cow" with them. Oh they will look like they dont know what the hell you talkin bout, but its a farce, they know and waiti g on you to make an offer for how much you want.
Ga Flatwoods

Can't blame an honest Dutchman for capitalizing on a dire situation .Them horses got to eat , ya know .

[Truckinbutch]

I think I tole y'all about SOH gettin earthquake ejected from a Cayman Island swimmin pool .
That gal has no luck . Marrying up with me being part of that .
Anyhow(thank you Arkansas Tom);
With all this 'social distancing' our social life has been limited . Her cabin fever had reached critical mass and I suggested a ride in our 'new to us' F150 that we bought in September . More bells and whistles than we have ever seen and I've driven it less than a thousand miles since we got it .
Anyhow , we're puttin around on some country backroads . SOH playing with all the environmental controls and checkin out the sun roof features .
Now , I swear ! ; I was just tryin to find Rush Limbaugh on the XM radio when I hit some button and there was a loud BOOM and SOH and her seat were gone !
Flat vanished through that hole in the roof that her button pushing had just opened up .Just how I 'splained it to the ossifers that came to investigate . They seem a bit skeptical ; but , that's alright . They didn't believe the Cayman earthquake story , neither .
For now , all my friends ; if a fat girl in a bucket seat comes floatin down on your place under a parachute , give her some water and a biscuit . Probly she's mine and I'll come get her .
Oh , and try to 'splain to her that I hit that button by accident .
I'll try to 'spain it better to her when I get there . Hope the seat is fit to be put back in the truck .
Them seats are expensive .

[Truckinbutch]

Jed , you be particularly mindful . The wind was pretty strong in your direction , last I seen her .

[jedneck]

Was gonna call ya n tell ya she landed here. I just been tobuzy shoven pepperoni rolls in my piehole

[ga flatwoods]

Michigan Cornhusker now aint that a coincidence? How you like a "sip of da cow"? Certainly isnt milky!
Lol. That made my day!

[Truckinbutch]

Was gonna call ya n tell ya she landed here. I just been tobuzy shoven pepperoni rolls in my piehole

Be awrite . She does have a way with them rolls , especially in a wood fired oven .
If it's ok with you , just keep her there until this quarantine is lifted . I'd hate to travel into a state that shut down their likker stores in such dire times just to recover a wife .
How bad was that seat damaged ?

[Truckinbutch]

WTF ? Since me and Jed talked last there has been several hundred hits here and no stories .
Ain't y'all got no stories of your own to contribute ?
Mebbie it didn't happen ; but , it could have . Let your poetic license run free .
This is 'The Liar's Bench' .

[thecroweater]

I coulddddd but things are getting so ridiculous these days I'm terrified folks will start believin me

[The Baker]

Me and the wife had a special day out on Thursday.

We went to the doctor for the flu injection.

Geoff

[Truckinbutch]

I coulddddd but things are getting so ridiculous these days I'm terrified folks will start believin me

Mate , the lives we have led ; we don't have to make much stuff up .
On a similar track ; folks are still talking about how foolish them two fellers was to brace me at that Mason Jar Tavern with you standing my back , ready to go to work that time you and Sue came to visit .
Sorry , had to cut that story short because Jed called . We had a good visit and now it's time for bed .
We can revisit this story another time .

[thecroweater]

Haa yeah had his back up but but once ole mate worked out what he was backing up he weren't wasting much time backing out .
What was the name of the next place over the county line? That place was a trip back in time with dollar beers and smoking at the bar