Jokes

Post by **goinbroke2** » Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:48 am

A girl walking around in her underwear is "fashion" but I do it and "I'm drunk" and "not allowed in penningtons ever again".

Frigging sexist !

Post by **goinbroke2** » Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:51 am

I was in macdonalds and the guy yelled out order 867. So I yelled 5309.

Nobody laughed

Damn I feel old

Post by **goinbroke2** » Tue Sep 29, 2020 8:08 am

Just got a box from summit racing in the mail, carried it to the garage and placed it by the boxes from jegs and rock auto at the front of the mustang.

It was then I realized it would of been cheaper to be a drug addict.

The Baker · Post by **The Baker** » Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:05 pm

goinbroke2 wrote: ↑Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:51 am I was in macdonalds and the guy yelled out order 867. So I yelled 5309.

Nobody laughed

Damn I feel old

Maybe an American joke?
I'm probably even older and I have no idea what this is about.

Confused Geoff

TDick · Post by **TDick** » Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:22 pm

goinbroke2 wrote: ↑Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:51 am I was in macdonalds and the guy yelled out order 867. So I yelled 5309.
Nobody laughed
Damn I feel old

You're forgiven a Senor Moment!

Post by **HomerD** » Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:23 pm

The Baker wrote: ↑Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:05 pm
goinbroke2 wrote: ↑Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:51 am I was in macdonalds and the guy yelled out order 867. So I yelled 5309.

Nobody laughed

Damn I feel old
Maybe an American joke?
I'm probably even older and I have no idea what this is about.

Confused Geoff

It’s an old song, 867–5309:

The Baker · Post by **The Baker** » Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:16 pm

Gotcha.

I'm more into Mozart; and Kenny Rogers.

Geoff

Post by **Windy City** » Tue Sep 29, 2020 9:32 pm

I service Lochinvar boilers heavily and the access code Is Tommy Two Tones 5309
It may be midnight when I get called out on a job but all of the sudden I am singing 867-5309

I guess you just have to be old enough to understand.

Post by **Twisted Brick** » Tue Sep 29, 2020 10:14 pm

Windy City wrote: ↑Tue Sep 29, 2020 9:32 pm It may be midnight when I get called out on a job but all of the sudden I am singing 867-5309
I guess you just have to be old enough to understand.

One of the catchiest tunes ever...

Post by **v-child** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:45 am

TDick wrote: ↑Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:22 pm
goinbroke2 wrote: ↑Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:51 am I was in macdonalds and the guy yelled out order 867. So I yelled 5309.
Nobody laughed
Damn I feel old
You're forgiven a Senor Moment!

I hope you guys recognize the great Jimi Hendrix on the gitbox.

Post by **goinbroke2** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:52 am

Holy crap, that IS jimmy! Cool!

Course seeing that reminds me my family is racist. I brought a beautiful young black hardbody home one time and the wife and kid got pissed.

Damn racists....

Post by **goinbroke2** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:55 am

I was in the kitchen last night going to make fries for supper and asked the kid where the potato peeler was. Without a hesitation he said,

"Downstairs doing the laundry".

Wife wondered what we were laughing about when she came up.

Post by **goinbroke2** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:58 am

It's not a successful BBQ until some drunken idiot walks into a sliding glass door almost breaking their nose.

I'm fine, thanks for asking.

Post by **goinbroke2** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:03 am

Saw an ad the other day,
"Hot young couple looking for a third. No sex play, just deciding where we eat".

Post by **goinbroke2** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:12 am

Started planing a vacation to Australia, was asked if I had a criminal record.

I said, "I didn't realize it was still a requirement "

Bitch hung up on me!

Post by **goinbroke2** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:15 am

I was in this fancy "cheese emporium " and let a silent but deadly one go. The arrogant snobs in the isle went on and on about the excellent fragrance of their favourite cheese.

Post by **goinbroke2** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:22 am

I'm at that age where my mind thinks I'm 29, my humour thinks I'm 14 and my body is still asking if I'm still alive...

Post by **Windy City** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:31 am

goinbroke2 wrote: ↑Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:22 am I'm at that age where my mind thinks I'm 29, my humour thinks I'm 14 and my body is still asking if I'm still alive...

Amen Brother
You have posted this in the wrong thread
That is not a joke. That is a fact

The Baker · Post by **The Baker** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 7:03 am

goinbroke2 wrote: ↑Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:12 am Started planing a vacation to Australia, was asked if I had a criminal record.

I said, "I didn't realize it was still a requirement "

Bitch hung up on me!

We're not usually that touchy these days,,,

Geoff

Post by **goinbroke2** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 9:55 am

[/quote]

We're not usually that touchy these days,,,

Geoff
[/quote]

Meh, I wrote it off to covid, it's blamed for everything else. Lol.

Kids have been back to school here for a month and no "second wave ".
Must be due to the practice some use of driving alone in their own Car with mask and face shield on.

Kareltje · Post by **Kareltje** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 2:14 pm

goinbroke2 wrote: ↑Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:12 am Started planing a vacation to Australia, was asked if I had a criminal record.

I said, "I didn't realize it was still a requirement "

Bitch hung up on me!

This one is funny!

Kareltje · Post by **Kareltje** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 2:19 pm

goinbroke2 wrote: ↑Wed Sep 30, 2020 9:55 am
Meh, I wrote it off to covid, it's blamed for everything else. Lol.

Kids have been back to school here for a month and no "second wave ".
Must be due to the practice some use of driving alone in their own Car with mask and face shield on.

I guess the survivors all injected chlorine bleach in their veins, like your boss suggested.

Post by **v-child** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 2:41 pm

Political BS? I thought we where all friends here.

Post by **ShineonCrazyDiamond** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 2:51 pm

I'm going to say move along and watch it kareltje.

Durhommer · Post by **Durhommer** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 3:13 pm

I have a joke .....wait what was I gonna say

The Baker · Post by **The Baker** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 4:41 pm

Durhommer wrote: ↑Wed Sep 30, 2020 3:13 pm I have a joke .....wait what was I gonna say

Me too.

And it is no joke.

Geoff

TDick · Post by **TDick** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 7:39 pm

HomerD wrote: ↑Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:23 pm
The Baker wrote: ↑Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:05 pm
goinbroke2 wrote: ↑Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:51 am I was in macdonalds and the guy yelled out order 867. So I yelled 5309.
Nobody laughed

Damn I feel old
Maybe an American joke?
I'm probably even older and I have no idea what this is about.

Confused Geoff
Tommy Tutone 876-5309

I stand corrected!!!

Of course MY song is much older!

v-child wrote: ↑Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:45 am I hope you guys recognize the great Jimi Hendrix on the gitbox.

I wondered how many folks would pick up on that.
So The Wicked Pickett played with Jimmy AND Skydog - rare air!

DSmith78 · Post by **DSmith78** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 8:05 pm

The older I get the further away the floor gets.

Post by **Yonder** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 9:43 pm

DSmith78 wrote: ↑Wed Sep 30, 2020 8:05 pm The older I get the further away the floor gets.

That’s odd. We just had a 4’10” woman here sue the city for building the sidewalk too close to her ass...

Post by **Truckinbutch** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 10:47 pm

goinbroke2 wrote: ↑Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:55 am I was in the kitchen last night going to make fries for supper and asked the kid where the potato peeler was. Without a hesitation he said,

"Downstairs doing the laundry".

Wife wondered what we were laughing about when she came up.

You've taught him well .
Dollar to a horse turd ; and I'll hold the stakes in my mouth ; that Corene is gonna strap both our legs over this .

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