Jokes

[Durhommer]

Damn I forgot

[kiwi Bruce]

What's black and white and red all over....

a blushing penguin !

[Durhommer]

What's black and white and red all over....

a blushing penguin !

Newspaper works too...lol

[kiwi Bruce]

Newspaper? What the hell's a Newspaper ? Is that one of those new google apps ?

[The Baker]

uhhhh,... I give up?

Tho old answer to that has been pretty much overtaken by electronics now....

Geoff

[jonnys_spirit]

uhhhh,... I give up?

Tho old answer to that has been pretty much overtaken by electronics now....

Geoff

And the other answer that comes to mind involve nun heads, a spear, and revolving doors!

[Truckinbutch]

What's red , yellow , green , and goes 1,000 miles an hour ?

[Windy City]

Frog in a blender

Oh God these jokes are from when I was a kid
Damn that was a long time ago

[Tater]

Where did capt hook .get his hook?

[Bryan1]

Where did capt hook .get his hook?

from the local hooker ????

[Truckinbutch]

Frog in a blender

Oh God these jokes are from when I was a kid
Damn that was a long time ago

Good on ya , mate ! I was voting age when I first heard that one . Much longer ago for me .

[Yummyrum]

This is no joke .

My daughter has bad asperges .
One day she burst out laughing . When I asked her what was so funny , she told me she just realised that when I asked her several years ago , “whats black and white and red all over” , she had finally understood that it could have two meanings .

I kid you not , for me it was a moment of hope .She went on to study partial physics .... as you do

[Tater]

Where did capt hook .get his hook?

From the second hand store .

[Deplorable]

What's black and white and red all over....

Newspaper. Durrr.

[Bushman]

Where did capt hook .get his hook?

From the second hand store .

This goes back to my junior high days in the early 60’s. Starting to bring back memories of the jokes/cartoons inside the wrapping of bubble gum.

[Deplorable]

Where did capt hook .get his hook?

From the second hand store .

This goes back to my junior high days in the early 60’s. Starting to bring back memories of the jokes/cartoons inside the wrapping of bubble gum.

you just made me feel so young.

[Bryan1]

A man walks into a bar................................................ then says ouch.

What is the guy's nationality ?????

[Deplorable]

Uhm, POLE-ish?

[Deplorable]

Or is he bar-varian? Lol

[goinbroke2]

kid asked me, dad what's a forklift.

I said food usually...

[goinbroke2]

At this point it's safe to conclude that the "time out" generation didn't produce citizens as good as the "ass whooping" generation.

[Bushman]

At this point it's safe to conclude that the "time out" generation didn't produce citizens as good as the "ass whooping" generation.

If that’s the case I should be a much better citizen than my younger brother because I got a whole lot more whooping than he did!

[Bushman]

[Bryan1]

A 75 year old American farmer when to his doctor where the doc asked his opinion on Joe Biden as the next president. The old farmer said well ya know Biden is post turtle.

So the Doc asked what in the name is a post turtle ????

The old farmer when ya driving down the road and you see a turtle balanced ontop of a fence post. Well thats a post turtle to be exact.

The doc looked kind a puzzled so the old farmer explained.

You know it didn't get by it's self and you know it doesn't belong there, it doesn't know what to do while it's up there and it's elevated beyond the ability to function

and you wonder what idiot put him up there in the first place....

[cob]

funny and true? in my opinion absolutely

but with out question contrary to rule F

[Truckinbutch]

I can't support this even though I do . We are supposed to avoid politics on this forum : and I support the forum .

[Tater]

So the Doc asked what in the name is a post turtle ????

The old farmer when ya driving down the road and you see a turtle balanced ontop of a fence post. Well thats a post turtle to be exact.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The doc looked kind a puzzled so the old farmer explained.

You know it didn't get by it's self and you know it doesn't belong there, it doesn't know what to do while it's up there and it's elevated beyond the ability to function

and you wonder what idiot put him up there in the first place....

just got you a 30 day ban from HD .anymore of this type posting will be permanent bans .Keep the political shit OFF this site.

[Bushman]

[goinbroke2]

Got home last night, walked in the bedroom and the wife is laying there dead. I thought I better call the cops but figured first, I’ll get one last piece. Half way through and she opens her eyes and says boo!
I’m telling ya, some people are so messed up!
Playing dead....sheesh....

[goinbroke2]

See all these guys my age out zip lining and water skiing...shit, I was proud of myself for getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance!