The liar's bench

[corene1]

You know Jimbo gave me that ostrich on loan out. I give it back after the fight ring was over, it was just too much for me to handle. Strange how we don't hear much from him anymore since I gave it back. Probably a handful to manage. Last I heard Flatwoods has the monkey and the ostrich melted the his ol dog down to ashes. Who wound up with that ol Chupacabra? It was pretty darned feisty too. Gonna have to look back and check out some of the pictures folks had sent in showing off their contenders before the fight.

[Truckinbutch]

Well I ain't certain , Gal . But , SOH and I went to visit Flatwoods a while back and he had this humongus pot in his syrup shed that he served us some stew from whose continents were of questionable origin .
Didn't make us sick or nothin . Just curious what he found to fill such a big pot .
Only thing we seen there that resembled a monkey was a strange looking hide tacked to his barn wall ...........

[SassyFrass]

I would only be really concerned about what was in the stew pot...if he served monkey bread with it, Instead of biscuits or cornbread. JMHO, I'd still mostly be worried about the sarcastic irony, not the ingredients.
SF

[Durhommer]

I bought a bottle of bushmills black Bush omg I wish I wouldn't have

[SassyFrass]

It's been quite a few years since I purchased any store bought likker. I like what I made better than what they make.

[ismbardbrunel123]

It's been quite a few years since I purchased any store bought likker. I like what I made better than what they make.

Been about 4 months since i paid for Whisky.....but i find i drink more.....oh well, even more savings....

[Durhommer]

It's been quite a few years since I purchased any store bought likker. I like what I made better than what they make.

Been about 4 months since i paid for Whisky.....but i find i drink more.....oh well, even more savings....

I have only aging stock on hand and low wines. I'm not touching my rum or my single malt or my corn barley rye bourbon

[ismbardbrunel123]

Oh dear.. so many choices...there are people that can help out if you have problems making decisions....sorry i live to far away....

[SassyFrass]

My son and buddy came over yesterday to spend a little range time. They came back to the house with a couple gallons that had been hidden in a hollow log for a few years. Not sure of the exact date because sharply does wear off after awhile. But it was made after 1999. I looks like a 2...but I could be wrong.
Anyway, both turned out to be some pretty decent corn likker. So they each went home with a gallon and i got a sip out of each. Just for Quality control, of course.
SF
PS: what's funny is neither one is big drinker and a gallon will last them for a long time.

[stillanoob]

Been about 4 months since i paid for Whisky.....but i find i drink more.....oh well, even more savings....

The more you drink, the more you save!

[jedneck]

Ya aint drank till bottles fly off porch n cats get lessons in flight.

[Truckinbutch]

Ya aint drank till bottles fly off porch n cats get lessons in flight.

When a full glass of whiskey gets bumped off a porch railing and drops 16 feet to land in rocks without spilling a drop and a cat flies from a dinner table(with assistance) for 60 feet and survives ; you have experienced an S3 gathering at Jed's .
You can't make this shit up .
Fact is stranger than truth .

[Durhommer]

I've resorted to a bottle of single malt from last year the bushmills black is just eww

[Durhommer]

Fuck yeah the wife just won 2k on the chiefs game legal betting rocks

[goinbroke2]

Friends birthday so we went out, 5 of us from 4:30 to about 11. There was two bills, combined it was $620 including the $75 tip.
THAT is why I don’t like going out! Probably drank $30 in shine for comparison. $7 shots, etc.

Anyway, it was a good time, sang happy bday to her a dozen times getting the bar involved. One girl was getting a little too friendly and asked if I was married, I said “yeah I’m a trophy husband”.
Somewhere in the crowd I Heard my wife yell “yeah, but like, a participation trophy”!

She’s getting too good at zingers...

The other day she said to a friend. “ now that he’s retired? Oh he still does stupid shit, only now he does it slower”
I’m like “I’M IN THE ROOM “!!!

[Truckinbutch]

Friends birthday so we went out, 5 of us from 4:30 to about 11. There was two bills, combined it was $620 including the $75 tip.
THAT is why I don’t like going out! Probably drank $30 in shine for comparison. $7 shots, etc.

Anyway, it was a good time, sang happy bday to her a dozen times getting the bar involved. One girl was getting a little too friendly and asked if I was married, I said “yeah I’m a trophy husband”.
Somewhere in the crowd I Heard my wife yell “yeah, but like, a participation trophy”!

She’s getting too good at zingers...

The other day she said to a friend. “ now that he’s retired? Oh he still does stupid shit, only now he does it slower”
I’m like “I’M IN THE ROOM “!!!

Cherish that gal . She sounds fit to ride the river with .'Specially when she continues to tolerate you .

[SassyFrass]

TB, glad to hear the arm is healing. GB sounds like you gotta keeper there.
SF

[goinbroke2]

Yeah she puts up with me for the most part. The other day her and her friend was yammering in about something and said about childbirth and the pain, blah, blah, blah. I said getting kicked in the crotch is way more painful for a guy then a woman having a kid. Of course the first question was “have you ever had a kid”?
I said “no but after a while a woman will ask to have another kid, no guy EVER said hey, kick me in the crotch again”.

That didn’t go over well but I made my point.
Kinda like the time I mentioned the wife put on 50# with each kid. Of course the women were yelling about body changes and stuff until I said “we adopted”.

Anyway, actually just stopped by for a quick shot of the stuff in that jug, thanks whoever left it, and to mention I screwed up. (No really)
I made a batch of beer a week or so ago and without thinking, dumped two bags of sugar in the pail. I thought crap, grabbed a hydrometer and checked 8%. After it fermented I checked and got about 3%. Ok, it fermented out to 5%, whatever. As I was kegging it I had a taste..sweet damn it! So now I have sweet lager sitting for a couple weeks and hopefully it will taste better. Stupid, stupid, stupid. So used to making shine and putting 2 1/2 bags in per pail (about 10-12%)

We’ll see how it turns out.

Gotta go get the blower going, got a foot of snow over night and it’s still snowing. Checked the weather ap and it says snow for the next 6 days. Poo...
Oh well, more “snow wheeling”.

[goinbroke2]

Wow, I’ll have to chalk this up to “the wife is drinking with her friend”.

It’s snowing quite hard here, has been all day. The wife is at her friends taking care of her. (She had surgery on both wrists) I blew the driveways out and went for a bit of snow wheeling with the truck on the power line. Figured I’d head over to a buddies place, see if he wanted to play. Got on a trail and met a moose. Big bugger, huge rack. I just shut the truck off and watched as it ambled on by and kept going. I went another 5 minutes and hear a ding as the wife text me. I said “I just saw a moose on the way to Dave’s place”
She asked “how do you know it was going to Dave’s place”?

What??

I asked if they were drinking, she said Cheryl is on pain meds but the rest of the girls are. The “rest” of the girls huh? Now I see why she hasn’t been home in 2 days.
Said they were having a great time, I should come over and do the driveway for them, I was like “ahh, nope”. She started whining so I said “hey, be nice, I happen to know there are hot young women within 5 miles who want to meet me”!

I laughed

Haven’t heard from her since.

[Truckinbutch]

Wow, I’ll have to chalk this up to “the wife is drinking with her friend”.

It’s snowing quite hard here, has been all day. The wife is at her friends taking care of her. (She had surgery on both wrists) I blew the driveways out and went for a bit of snow wheeling with the truck on the power line. Figured I’d head over to a buddies place, see if he wanted to play. Got on a trail and met a moose. Big bugger, huge rack. I just shut the truck off and watched as it ambled on by and kept going. I went another 5 minutes and hear a ding as the wife text me. I said “I just saw a moose on the way to Dave’s place”
She asked “how do you know it was going to Dave’s place”?

What??

I asked if they were drinking, she said Cheryl is on pain meds but the rest of the girls are. The “rest” of the girls huh? Now I see why she hasn’t been home in 2 days.
Said they were having a great time, I should come over and do the driveway for them, I was like “ahh, nope”. She started whining so I said “hey, be nice, I happen to know there are hot young women within 5 miles who want to meet me”!

I laughed

Haven’t heard from her since.

Daymn! You do like to walk on the dangerous side , don't you . I could have talked all day without sayin sompin like that .

[goinbroke2]

Well TB, it’s not that I’m stupid, just sometimes I have bad luck with thinking...

[Yonder]

Well TB, it’s not that I’m stupid, just sometimes I have bad luck with thinking...

I am gonna f*in’ treasure that line forever. Or at least ‘til I sober up...

[thecroweater]

I've resorted to a bottle of single malt from last year the bushmills black is just eww

If ya gonna fork out ya hard earned for Bushmills get the malt, blackbush ain't worth a squirt of goat piss in my opinion. Bushmills own another called Middleton that is darn fine but it's high dollar gear.

[Durhommer]

Thanks for the info

[goinbroke2]

I got the wife this coffee cup for Christmas that I thought she’d like.

She freaked out and thought it was an insult.
I’m like what??? No, a trophy wife is a pretty play toy that an older guy gets in a mid life crisis or whatever. It’s saying your out of my reach in normal circumstances.

Made her a coffee this morning and she freaked out again.
So obviously I’d go to a place of esteemed culture and providence like home distiller and ask for a collective opinion.

What say ye? An insult or a compliment (as I intended)??

[SassyFrass]

GB, what we think doesn't really matter. What matters is what she thinks. I figured out a long time ago that my idea of a compliment dont necessarily agree with my wife's idea of a compliment.
Granted, I'm not the brightest bulb in the box, but I never could explain why I thought it was a compliment. I just seemed to dig the hole deeper.[emoji848]
Good luck.[emoji16]
SF

[CoogeeBoy]

I got the wife this coffee cup for Christmas that I thought she’d like.

FA846F34-5C5B-4371-845B-DCBDB7BBEC3E.jpeg

She freaked out and thought it was an insult.
I’m like what??? No, a trophy wife is a pretty play toy that an older guy gets in a mid life crisis or whatever. It’s saying your out of my reach in normal circumstances.

Made her a coffee this morning and she freaked out again.
So obviously I’d go to a place of esteemed culture and providence like home distiller and ask for a collective opinion.

What say ye? An insult or a compliment (as I intended)??

You know what they say, Happy wife, happy life!

Or as I say now, Happy Wifi, Happy life! Seems like they are giving away free Wifi's everywhere!

[Expat]

Happy wife, happy wife's life.

Happy all is better

[HDNB]

Brother, from what i can tell there is no accounting for what's on a woman's mind from moment to moment. best wait for one of the ladies here to chime in and translate for you, takin' advise from other men is just gonna make things worse.

[CoogeeBoy]

Brother, from what i can tell there is no accounting for what's on a woman's mind from moment to moment. best wait for one of the ladies here to chime in and translate for you, takin' advise from other men is just gonna make things worse.

Yes, i shouldn't speak, we are happily married,
She's happy,
I'm married!