The liar's bench

[Truckinbutch]

I'd like to establish a liar's bench here . Stuff in a chew , pull out your dollar Barlow pocket knife and start whittlin on the bench while you are contemplatin how to top the last whittler and spitter that had the floor .
I'll start .
Knowe a man that knowed , he swore , a man that chewed so much Mail Pouch that he wore a hole right through the side of his cheek . (Patoo . Ya gotta remember to spit after a story like that ; lends credence to your all-knowing wisdom .
NEXT ?