The liar's bench

[bearriver]

I heard this tale from my father.

My distantly removed uncle is living in a cabin in Alaska, making a life. One day he stumbles upon a wolverine in his trap line, quite pissed off. One thing leads to another and the wolverine had eventually chewed his trapped arm off. Game on. He attacks this man as he flees from the scene. While running from the little devil, he managed to shoot it with his .22 giving him his chance at his retreat.

He makes it back to his cabin which has no windows and one heavy door made from rough cut lumber. The door was meant to keep out the weather and local bears.

An hour later the wolverine tracked him down to his cabin. The 3 legged beast (with a gunshot wound) clawed its way through the bottom of the solid wood door, and killed the trapper inside.

And they say a good death is hard to find.

[SoMo]

I saw a video of a wolverine killing a grizzly bear, on it's back severing its spine with its teeth,mean sonsabitches they are.

[ga flatwoods]

I have a whiskey named after a Tasmanian Devil. It too is a mean sonofabitch! Have your ass spinning round in circles screaming totally incomprehensible rhetoric while breaking everything around you! Takes a real man to drink it and remain in control. Would love to have a wolverine dosed with a three finger shot and turned loose in a Taliban camp!
Ga Flatwoods

[Truckinbutch]

Mean way to treat a wolverine , I'm thinkin ...................................

[SoMo]

Just make them talibans touch a piece of bacon straight to hell.

[heartcut]

Don't die a virgin, they'll be waiting.

[swampdog 2]

dirty sock coffee it will make a freight train take a dirt, I have seen times when I would have had a cup or two

[Truckinbutch]

Just make them talibans touch a piece of bacon straight to hell.

General John 'Black Jack' Pershing had the right idea . Shot several of them in da haid , wrapped them in pig skins , and shipped them home . Put a stop to terrorist ideas from them during his era .

[swampdog 2]

10 4 on that shit , lotta things we could have done TB but I don't want to get started , it might get political, I don't want to get scolded for talking politics

[Truckinbutch]

10 4 on that shit , lotta things we could have done TB but I don't want to get started , it might get political, I don't want to get scolded for talking politics

I TOTALY AGREE !
And thanks for the breath of fresh air .
>I would hate to see such a fun thread shut down because we all got into an alcohol fueled late night brawl . The brawin is ok . We just don't want to get the Bench shut down or get barred ourselves because we were brawling in public .

[SoMo]

I smoked a beautiful ham today shared it with some good company with some cold bud light. Good day positively. Bearriver had a son. Wonderful.
Gonna end this day with a few shots of something with a bit of oak and vanilla and let my mind wander.

[Truckinbutch]

Squirrel huntin on opening day was a hard won enterprise over to Helvetia ,WV one year when fall was late and the leaves hung on the trees . Shootin squirrels was akin to pickin out VC snipers in those Southeast Asian War Games that we came out second place winners in .
>Anyhow , I'd tramped a patch of woods all morning and got 3 squirrels with my 12 ga huntin hard . 'Bout lunch time I ran into this feller that was native to the area . He had a Musette bag full of tree rats and I didn't see him carryin a firearm . Shared my lunch with him and a drop and mentioned that lack of a gun . "Don't need one ," he said , "I just ugly them to death ."
To prove a point he focusoued on a squirel cuttin on a hikry tree beside us and screwed up his face into the most terrifying rictus I have ever seen and that crtiter fell out of that tree graveyard dead and he stuck it in his game bag with all those others . When I complimented him on his accomplishments he muttered ,"That ain't nothin . You ought to see how my wife can do this . She's way better than me ."
"Howcome you didn't bring her along ?", I asked .
"She's so ugly that she just tears them up too bad ".
WV Cooker , I expect that you can appreciate that story

[SoMo]

A good mess of fried squirrel with biscuits and gravy damn that sounds so good right now.

[ga flatwoods]

Truckinbutch sounds like that guy and his wife belong together as no one else would have the other! 12 guage is kinda cheating anyway isnt it? That guy had a bag and you only three? You been hitting the bottle and missing the side of the barn with that scatter gun or just on a dry run for lack of sightings? And why of all things polite, would you suggest that WV Cooker had such an ugly wife?
Ga Flatwoods

[ga flatwoods]

This is it! I knew there had to be a practical use for that damned monkey. He needs to go back to Africa for training!

http://youtu.be/W_hkKUCWltc" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow

maybe he could stay here if he behaved:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=82GUjPConiE" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow

[thecroweater]

almost reminds me of the rodeo's when i was a kid , all us kids would be trying to pull down a greasy piglet for a prize and that vid showed all the confusion of a darn good old goat roping

[Truckinbutch]

And why of all things polite, would you suggest that WV Cooker had such an ugly wife?
Ga Flatwoods

Was making no reference to his wife . Was speaking of an area I think he may be familiar with .

[thecroweater]

Crikey how popular is stillin getting over this way? While in Portland Vic I took my kids to an emporium to get lume bands and myself some large pickle jars and what did I see on the shelf?. they had the usual mason jars but also had stemed mason jar glasses and mason jar beer mug type things with the handle. really is there a market for this

[Jimbo]

Flatwoods is one a them classic trouble makin instigator types.

[heartcut]

Hear there's a Mason jar bikini in beta testing.

[thecroweater]

ok yeah we are only just beginning to grasp the concept of the cultured red neck here I guess

[T-Pee]

They're called "redneck wine glasses". I've made them using short candle holders from the Dollar Store and clear epoxy. Put some glitter or a coin or whatever in the top of the candle holder before epoxying together for some bling. They've been well-received, btw. Dishwasher safe too.

tp

[Red Rim]

As sophisticated as my wife is, she quit buying glasses for around the house and just prefers to steal my mason jars. That is except for her wine glasses, after all a girl has to have some standards.

[T-Pee]

Make her some mason jar wineglasses out of half pints and see what she thinks.

tp

[heartcut]

The little jam jars make good looking wine glasses she would probably be proud to crook her little finger beside.
Confession: we have a set of each.
Thought about making some then found them on sale.

[Red Rim]

She has already etched her name on a jar or two.

In a completely unrelated topic.
The best part of having a 16 year old son is we are at the same maturity level.
Project of the day, a 30 foot slip and bleed into the river behind our house. Wood framed, plastic covered. We will see who takes the first trip to the ER.
I will post pics later.

[heartcut]

Good project, likely to be completely misunderstood or ignored by women, hilarious writeup.

[Red Rim]

Good project, likely to be completely misunderstood or ignored by women, hilarious writeup.

The weird thing is, my wife is on board with this one. I think she can see the entertainment value of and a good excuse to have a party on the river.

[SoMo]

Put one in out in the yard first one down my daughter, 5 stitches in the knee, no more sleep n bleeds here.

[Red Rim]

Looks like it is 55 feet long and 25 feet tall. Closely resembles a railroad trestle. If we get out of this without stitches it will be a miracle. My wife just FB posted a party here tomorrow, looks like I have to finish it.

Jimbo, this is right up your alley, hold my beer watch this!