The liar's bench

[Bigbob]

Have a friend who's wife sees people from the other side. I think that is true,as to Bigfoot ...I'm not sure plenty of sightings some from reliable sources but I would think a body would have been found by now.

[Tokoroa_Shiner]

I seen a ghost when I was younger. Scared the shite out of me. Will never forget it.

[Red Rim]

This is the Liars bench right?

Well, eight years ago my wife and I were back packing deep in the Three Sisters Wilderness. At least six miles in from any roads, prolly another ten miles to the PCT. Had a very large rock thrown into our campsite in the middle of a calm summer night. Could not see or hear anything around us.
The next day after a long hike, we came back to the same area and kept hearing this deep base "whoooomp whoooomp whooomp". I responded to the noise and it called back, repeating this for a couple minutes until we decided to get the hell out of Dodge!
Again I am an avid hiker, climber, hunter, fisher. I am always in the woods. This is the only time I have ever heard this noise.

(Twilight zone theme plays). Do doo do doooo......

[Truckinbutch]

RR ,
Ain't always gotta be lies here . You say that happened and far be it from me to say it isn't so .
I've seen ghosts myself . And been visited by spirits that were not in liquid form .

[T-Pee]

I hear voices...



...and they don't like you.

tp

[moosemilk]

Exists or not who knows. Look at that one hermit guy who lived as a loner for what, 20 or 30 years in the wilderness, and only had a human encounter once or twice until he got caught breaking into cabins. If he could hide that long, who knows what else could. New species in the world being discovered every day.

But anyways, back to bench talk. Woke up going through my happy new year texts to friends. Seems even my auto-correct had a few. Plenty of "hippy nes yesar" and such that went out. Haven't been that intoxicated in well over a year. But what I didn't wake up with (and this isn't a lie) was a hangover. Just some bad spelling and a wife who was giggling while saying "you must have been drunk, you were having full out conversations with the dog".

[Bigbob]

I aways talk to my dog... He dosent like me though.

[moosemilk]

I aways talk to my dog... He dosent like me though.

Ya, but does he answer you back? Pretty sure mine did last night.

[Red Rim]

Jimbo,
I love your new avatar!

To be fair though, I hate my dog too!
She is an angry little bitch. If we leave her in the house she will be on the couch in a second, if I put her in the laundry room, she will tear the door jambs off (literally), if I put her outside she will stand in the road and jump in the first car that opens their door, if I put her in her kennel, she will bark or chew her way out.
The plus side on the other hand, is she can run fifteen miles on trails without complaining and a big ole freekin smile.

My cat on the other hand eats mice, it has been slacking, caught four over the last week. If it doesn't step up it is getting the bird load as well and a burial at sea ( or fast moving river)!

[Jimbo]

haha, our dog, Lars, is like one of the kids. He chills on the couch with us every night, spoiled ass he is.

[ga flatwoods]

You need to edit that avatar Jimbo. I have at least 199!

[goinbroke2]

Got two dogs, 6 yo female Maltese/terrier mix named Bijou, full throttle and no rudder wants to fight anything and everything. Other is Bear, Terrier/maltese as well but he's 17 now. Good health, eats ANYTHING that might or might not resemble food. Needs to go out every two hours or so when he's awake or he just does it on the cushion floor in the kitchen. Very touchy-feely, always lays touching my foot, if you move 6", he moves 6" and lays against my foot again. Half deaf and half blind but max relaxed and quite smart.

Then there's Fred my 7ft samsquantch I keep in the barn. He a little off in the head and likes to eat chickens live. Oh, and loves Kraft Dinner, but not on the same day. It's either fish and KD or raw chicken and raw potatoes. Tried given him likker once, bad, bad, bad. How do you stop a 7ft 400lb samsquantch from singing "lovin you" while holding a cow in a headlock on the roof of the small barn? Had to use the bucket on the tractor to get the cow down, no idea how he got it up there. Never did find the tuba. Completely trashed the milking room. Luckily the media never got wind of it, last time they saw a samsquantch around here they just called the city couple who saw him "mistaken" as even if there were some kind of thing they thought they saw, they were pretty sure a Samsquantch wouldn't be riding a little girls pink bicycle hauling a lobster trap full of tennis shoes.

Don't even ask about the Unicorns I had..they weren't unicorns, just shetland ponies that Fred decided needed horns. Both the ponies and the goats didn't trust Fred after that episode.

[moosemilk]

Fred ever been known to play hop-scotch up in a tree crotch? If so, the bugger beat me and now has my wrist watch.

How many know the song?

[goinbroke2]

Naw he's more into;
knock, knock!
who's there?
Fred
Fred who..awww crap fred don't eat that! PutitdownnowyoubighairysonofaFREDDDDDDDD NOOO....shit...
Honey, we need another goat...

[Truckinbutch]

Note to self and any interested parties :

Microwave poaching of a stink bug in your first morning cup of coffee improves neither the taste of the bug or the coffee . It does give you the opportunity to see your toenails when you puke them out your mouth

[Janitor47]

That's just.....awful.

[thecroweater]

so nuke aged bug is a no goer then?

[S-Cackalacky]

Nazi little stink bug bastards. You get that distinct smell first, then the menacing buzz, and then the miserable little stuka dive bomber crashes into your eyeball. Are these little fuckers another one of those invasive species some dufus assed gooberment scientist though would be a good idea to perpetrate on the citizenry? Do they eat kudzu or some shit?

[T-Pee]

I'm still wondering how he got in the cup to begin with.

tp (checking his before pouring from now on)

[S-Cackalacky]

T-Pee, they sneaky little bastards. They fly kamikaze style and crash where they crash.

[Tokoroa_Shiner]

I'm more wondering how is wasn't noticed.

[Truckinbutch]

I'm more wondering how is wasn't noticed.

Bleary , sleep encrusted eyes and a half awake brain .

[Tokoroa_Shiner]

Ah. Yeah that'll do it.

[thecroweater]

Well ya was wide awake once ya puked and done the freaked out chicken dance I'll wager, see worked jus dandy eh

[moosemilk]

I wager that stink bug wasn't all too impressed itself being woken up that way.

[Truckinbutch]

I wager that stink bug wasn't all too impressed itself being woken up that way.

You know , i don't really give a fuck about how that little bastard felt It sneaked into my favorite coffee mug and fucked up my first cup of morning coffee . That's equal to kickin my dog as a capital offense in my book .

[moosemilk]

Well if you didn't leave the jug open, he never woulda got into your jackass juice and passed out in your coffee.

[Truckinbutch]

Trust me , ain't no drinkin likker left uncovered when I head for bed . It settled in for the night in my mug and got covered in cold , stale coffee and shoved in the microwave the next morning . Don't give me no grief over stale coffee . All my years of truckin I acquired a taste for it , sans stink bugs .

[StillLearning1]

We got a saying on night shift:

If you don't like cold coffee and woke up p**** then this ant the shift for you!

[moosemilk]

My wife doesn't understand how I can drink some of the coffee i do. Cold, reheated, whatever. Stronger the better. Best coffee is camp coffee. Put a good couple scoops in the pot, boil it up good. Couple drops of cold water sink those grounds to the bottom. If you gotta chew to swallow, it's just right.

Had to get a new pot recently. Coffee was so strong ate a hole clear through. Looked like a styrofoam cup when ya try to fill it with gasoline. Pass me that jug...