The liar's bench

Post by **Truckinbutch** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 7:42 am

ga flatwoods wrote:So TB, you are saying it was colder than a witches titty?

BWAHAHA ! Just sprayed my keyboard with coffee . Never thought of if from that perspective . Mentioning that to SOH would probably earn me some skillet knots .

SassyFrass · Post by **SassyFrass** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 10:30 am

Truckinbutch wrote:
ga flatwoods wrote:So TB, you are saying it was colder than a witches titty?
BWAHAHA ! Just sprayed my keyboard with coffee . Never thought of if from that perspective . Mentioning that to SOH would probably earn me some skillet knots .

Be best just to stay quiet. Skillet knots hurt. just sayin'.

ga flatwoods · Post by **ga flatwoods** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 10:50 am

Here try some this here Tasmanian Turbo Whiskey. If ya ain't a pig in shiner clothing ya can drink half the quart without taking a breath!

Flatwoods Quote from the past.

SassyFrass · Post by **SassyFrass** » Sun Mar 01, 2015 1:01 pm

ga flatwoods wrote:Here try some this here Tasmanian Turbo Whiskey. If ya ain't a pig in shiner clothing ya can drink half the quart without taking a breath!

Flatwoods Quote from the past.

I always figgered drinking likker was an endurance sport. Sounds like you're sprinting.

I've sipped a little white likker from SEGA at different times, but ain't never tried any Tasmanian Turbo Whiskey.
Also, the only decent Apple Jack I ever had came outa Dawsonville/Ellijay area. Don't know what that old feller did, but it was good.
I tried making Apple Jack years ago and it tasted like crap. Reckon I'll stick to Brandy and Pie.

ga flatwoods · Post by **ga flatwoods** » Mon Mar 02, 2015 1:13 pm

http://becomingwaldo.com/2014/12/20/geo ... it-better/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow
http://becomingwaldo.com/2014/07/07/the ... s-be-home/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow

Post by **goinbroke2** » Mon Mar 02, 2015 2:46 pm

What a beautiful writer. Funny how I could change the names and it would be about my stompin grounds back home where mud trucks and partying on a gravel beach replace sand bars and golf carts. Been through Georgia, would love to stay for a few decades.

Beautiful place. (or maybe it's anything that isn't covered in 7ft of snow looks good....

)

bellybuster · Post by **bellybuster** » Mon Mar 02, 2015 3:43 pm

I don't mind the swelling but I hate when it itches.

bellybuster · Post by **bellybuster** » Mon Mar 02, 2015 3:45 pm

goinbroke2 wrote: (or maybe it's anything that isn't covered in 7ft of snow looks good.... )

can't believe it but I'm feeling it brother.... I've been working in that crap this year, I'm finding it hard to walk without snowshoes

Post by **moosemilk** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 9:14 pm

Warmed up here over the weekend, just about hit the plus side on the thermometer. Figured spring was coming. Jokes on me. Tuesday brought more snow and damn cold overnight. Went out to shovel. Heavy snow. Strained myself shoveling and figured I crapped myself. Scurry inside and hit the can hoping nobody notices the lump in my pants, sure felt like a big one. Get into the can, drop my pants as I sit on the toilet expecting the worse. As I look down to assess the damage a rip roaring fart comes up from my pants on the floor. Turns out I didn't crap myself, fart just froze before it could escape and thawed right before my eyes. Never thought you could fart in your own face. Don't ever wanna again.

ga flatwoods · Post by **ga flatwoods** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 11:41 pm

It was so raw and cold down here the other day, 27f I think, if you was to blow a smoke ring with a cigarette then you could reinhale it from the air by breaking into the ring and sucking it in like a piece of spaghetti! Saved a pack that day!
Ga Flatwoods

Post by **WooTeck** » Fri Mar 06, 2015 1:03 am

scottish heat wave

Post by **S-Cackalacky** » Fri Mar 06, 2015 7:00 am

I don't see how you Canadians handle it - must have antifreeze in yer piss. We didn't have a lot of snow this season, but we've had a lot of single digit temps. Expecting a heat wave next week - suppose to reach near 60 dF by the end of the week. It's probably just a Spring tease and Winter will hit again with a vengeance before the end of March.

I guess it's all relative though. Flatwoods is freezing his ass off at 27 dF, I'm in single digits this morning, and the Canadians will be dancing in the streets if they rise out of the negatives. But take heart folks - it'll be over soon and we can listen to the folks in South Oz bitch about the cold and post pictures of our garden bounty.

Post by **WooTeck** » Fri Mar 06, 2015 7:42 am

S-Cackalacky wrote:We didn't have a lot of snow this season, but we've had a lot of single digit temps.

the coldest its been in the part of scotland im from has been about 22f. starting to feel blessed

to day the coldest its forcast for is 44f

Post by **Truckinbutch** » Fri Mar 06, 2015 10:24 am

We are closer to the next heat wave than we have ever been before .

Red Rim · Post by **Red Rim** » Sat Mar 07, 2015 7:45 am

While you boys on the east coast are freezing your huevos, out here on the left coast it has been unusually sunny, dry, and warm. Most of the ski areas haven't opened, the river is at summer lows and the weather today is supposed to be sunny and 68. Us Webfooted ducks aren't used to having the moss dry out from between our toes.
Send some of that weather this way or this green paradise I live in will be a rolling set of forest fires come fall.

Post by **S-Cackalacky** » Sat Mar 07, 2015 7:56 am

I'm also hearing that Alaska is experiencing one of its warmest winters in decades. I guess when that northern jet stream pulled the cold out of Siberia down across Canada and the middle and eastern US, it left a void along the west coast. I feel lucky that our worse snow was only 10 inches. The Northeast US has really caught it this winter - gotta admire their stamina.

SassyFrass · Post by **SassyFrass** » Sat Mar 07, 2015 8:14 am

Truckinbutch wrote:We are closer to the next heat wave than we have ever been before .

Are we there yet?

Post by **Truckinbutch** » Sat Mar 07, 2015 8:53 am

I found this morning that the snow load on one of my newer barns had crushed it flat to the ground . Total loss . Came in and told SOH to call the insurance agent . She put the call on speaker phone so I could hear both sides of the conversation :
SOH,"Byron , snow load crushed our best pole barn last night . Total loss . We spent $50,000 to build it and we need a check to get started on a rebuild ."
Byron , "I'm sorry , mam . It doesn't work quite that way . We will have to send an adjuster to survey the damage and determine the value of the building at the time of loss . It will take some time and I can assure you that the settlement will be no where close to $50,000 ."
SOH , " In that case , I want to cancel the life insurance policy I have on my husband !" CLICK !

SassyFrass · Post by **SassyFrass** » Sat Mar 07, 2015 9:24 am

Truckinbutch wrote: I found this morning that the snow load on one of my newer barns had crushed it flat to the ground . Total loss . Came in and told SOH to call the insurance agent . She put the call on speaker phone so I could hear both sides of the conversation :
SOH,"Byron , snow load crushed our best pole barn last night . Total loss . We spent $50,000 to build it and we need a check to get started on a rebuild ."
Byron , "I'm sorry , mam . It doesn't work quite that way . We will have to send an adjuster to survey the damage and determine the value of the building at the time of loss . It will take some time and I can assure you that the settlement will be no where close to $50,000 ."
SOH , " In that case , I want to cancel the life insurance policy I have on my husband !" CLICK !

My condolences on your loss.

A good pole barn is hard to replace.

ga flatwoods · Post by **ga flatwoods** » Sat Mar 07, 2015 6:44 pm

Sassy you should feel for the SOH! If TB had felt for her more, maybe she wouldn't have that attitude bout her!
Ga Flatwoods

Post by **HDNB** » Sat Mar 07, 2015 7:11 pm

He was just referring to the the co-insurance penalty.

wait til you find out about the "snow load exclusion"

i had a merry go around with these pricks in 2010 when my 170 x 100 barn went down in a windstorm. patience and perserverence is the only advice i've got. don't let them off lightly.

personally, if there is a next time, i'll be filing a statement of claim in the court the next day. at the very least, my lawyer would be filing the claim.

good luck. sorry to hear of your loss. get a ferment going, you're gonna need a drink.

on edit- ha! just realized this is the liars bench. hope that was an exaggeration. i got a sore spot on this topic.

Post by **S-Cackalacky** » Sat Mar 07, 2015 7:29 pm

This is the God's honest truth -

I had a tree fall into the house last spring. Only damage to the house was two broken windows. It knocked out a section of fence and crushed a trampoline. I got enough money after the settlement and the $500 deductible to buy a chain saw and an angle grinder. I cut up the tree with the chain saw and cut up the metal trampoline with the angle grinder. I fixed the fence myself with left over boards from when it was originally built and the two windows are still boarded up.

Got a notification last week from my mortgage company that my house payment was going up due to insufficient funds in my escrow account because of an increase in my insurance premium. Insurance companies should eat shit and die.

SassyFrass · Post by **SassyFrass** » Sat Mar 07, 2015 7:56 pm

ga flatwoods wrote:Sassy you should feel for the SOH! If TB had felt for her more, maybe she wouldn't have that attitude bout her!
Ga Flatwoods

I Stand by my statement.
I can't speak fer TB. He married her.
My SOH upped my life insurance every time I got promoted. I figger she was just hedging her bets.
Either a tango, a jump, snake, etc... would get me or she would. Either way she wins.
Ha...I'm winning, so far. I think?

SassyFrass · Post by **SassyFrass** » Sat Mar 07, 2015 7:59 pm

: pass the jug.

Besides, here's the jug. Just sip regular from the jar. iff'n you use the glass you gotta hold yer pinky out.
It's just reg'lar ol' corn likker. Oaked and aged, a little.

Post by **Truckinbutch** » Sat Mar 07, 2015 8:14 pm

Thanks for the drink . Remember that this is 'The Liar's Bench'. Veracity is allowed but not required . SOH is well tuned and no calamity has befallen my barn

SassyFrass · Post by **SassyFrass** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 7:40 am

You're Welcome TB.
I figgered it was time I brought a little something to the bench. Probably ain't as refined as lot of folks here are used to, but I like it.

Reckon that's why it's called the liar's bench?

Post by **T-Pee** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 8:44 am

Did he call us "refined"??

tp

SassyFrass · Post by **SassyFrass** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 9:28 am

T-Pee wrote:Did he call us "refined"??

tp

I don't like being refined. I figger the first fine' shoulda been good 'nuff.

Post by **S-Cackalacky** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 8:52 am

T-Pee wrote:Did he call us "refined"??

tp

Calm down there old son. He means we refined liein' mofos - NOT like we refined eatin' sushi or some shit.

Post by **T-Pee** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 9:05 am

Well...ok.

Here, Sassy. Try out this jug of T-Pee-style oaked an' aged UJ. Been settin' fer six months now.

tp

Home Distiller

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