Jokes

[Bushman]

Not really a joke but thought it was good words to live by.

[cranky]

If you have a lawn big enough that you need to mow it at 87+mph, you need to get some grazing animals!

It's not a matter of need. Nobody needs to mow a lawn at 88 mph just like they don't need a car that can go 300+ MPH, or an apple chopper that can handle 3,000 lbs per hour, but that doesn't stop them from wanting to, or for that matter doing it and I definitely want to mow my yard at 88 mph . However, reading through the owners manual I think it works more like the Planet Express ship from Futurama. It doesn't transport you back in time it moves time and space so that the lawn is transported from 2 weeks ago to the present so you don't have to mow it.

[Deplorable]

If you have a lawn big enough that you need to mow it at 87+mph, you need to get some grazing animals!

It's not a matter of need. Nobody needsto mow a lawn at 88 mph just like they don't need a car that can go 300+ MPH, or an apple chopper that can handle 3,000 lbs per hour, but that doesn't stop them from wanting to, or for that matter doing it and I definitely want to mow my yard at 88 mph . However, reading through the owners manual I think it works more like the Planet Express ship from Futurama. It doesn't transport you back in time it moves time and space so that the lawn is transported from 2 weeks ago to the present so you don't have to mow it.

[CaptMorgan]

I though this may apply to some of the members here. I got a kick out of it.

[goinbroke2]

If you have a lawn big enough that you need to mow it at 87+mph, you need to get some grazing animals!

It's not a matter of need. Nobody needsto mow a lawn at 88 mph just like they don't need a car that can go 300+ MPH, or an apple chopper that can handle 3,000 lbs per hour, but that doesn't stop them from wanting to, or for that matter doing it and I definitely want to mow my yard at 88 mph . However, reading through the owners manual I think it works more like the Planet Express ship from Futurama. It doesn't transport you back in time it moves time and space so that the lawn is transported from 2 weeks ago to the present so you don't have to mow it.

Because of the same attitude that got man to the moon and many other “you can’t do that” things.
Why?
Merica!

Yeah I’m Canadian but have the same “can do” attitude.
Henry Ford said “if you think you can or if you think you can’t, you’re right.”

[Bushman]

BBQ RULES:
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women

[howie]

If you have a lawn big enough that you need to mow it at 87+mph, you need to get some grazing animals!

It's not a matter of need. Nobody needs to mow a lawn at 88 mph just like they don't need a car that can go 300+ MPH, or an apple chopper that can handle 3,000 lbs per hour, but that doesn't stop them from wanting to, or for that matter doing it and I definitely want to mow my yard at 88 mph . However, reading through the owners manual I think it works more like the Planet Express ship from Futurama. It doesn't transport you back in time it moves time and space so that the lawn is transported from 2 weeks ago to the present so you don't have to mow it.

HID wanted something that went from 0 to 100 in 2 secs.
so i got her a set of bathroom scales.
.
.
.
i should be out of intensive care tomorrow.

[goinbroke2]

THIS!

[TDick]

THIS!

51334ABE-CF80-4D58-BFD1-A96FDFE16490.png

no joke.

[VLAGAVULVIN]

Not really a joke but thought it was good words to live by.

Good shot, yeah

[Bushman]

[goinbroke2]

Good old Star Trek!

[goinbroke2]

Some more..

[goinbroke2]

7268BEF1-0FA4-40FB-8AD0-90F71082D8A9.jpeg (33.18 KiB) Viewed 3604 times

[goinbroke2]

[goinbroke2]

Sorry but it’s cold wet and snowing outside. The forecast says the next 5 days will be the same.
I’m staying inside and posting meme’s......

[contrahead]

[goinbroke2]

suv.jpg

Lol!!!! So true!!
That’s just a car missing it’s trunk lid.

[goinbroke2]

[goinbroke2]

Wife sent me this one, said I have an obsession with drag racing. Lol.

[Teddysad]

It is just as well that China does not have a cricket team. Look at what they have achieved with only one bat

[Bushman]

[HDNB]

6C48F067-D136-4BC8-BD01-D91E53839EF4.jpeg

LOL!!! imagine how the cleaning lady feels polishing that knob.

[SassyFrass]

Gives a whole new meaning to asking, "Hows it hanging?"
[emoji1787]

[Saltbush Bill]

[goinbroke2]

[goinbroke2]

[goinbroke2]

[goinbroke2]

I think I’ll start a separate thread just for meme’s...
Make sense to me now, might not on the morning. Lol

[CoogeeBoy]

I think I’ll start a separate thread just for meme’s...

Me me and you are thinking the same thing!