Jokes

[subbrew]

what did you do.......?

It was a political comment that I won't repeat here as we try to keep this forum non-political

[cranky]

I'm not exactly sure if this belongs here, or the good deals thread or maybe the liars bench but I guess I'll go ahead and post it here.


I got blue balls at goodwill yesterday

[jonnys_spirit]

I'm not exactly sure if this belongs here, or the good deals thread or maybe the liars bench but I guess I'll go ahead and post it here.


I got blue balls at goodwill yesterday
jars - C.JPG

That’s funny because I happened to drop a load off @ goodwill yesterday too!

-j

[Yonder]

I'm not exactly sure if this belongs here, or the good deals thread or maybe the liars bench but I guess I'll go ahead and post it here.


I got blue balls at goodwill yesterday
jars - C.JPG

That’s funny because I happened to drop a load off @ goodwill yesterday too!

-j

Has this become Beevis and Butthead?

[jonnys_spirit]

I apologize for my inappropriate comment and no excuse but was deep into the cups

Cheers,
J

[subbrew]

I thought it was funny Jonny. Of course my daughter says I have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.

[HDNB]

I thought it was funny Jonny. Of course my daughter says I have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.

a sophisticate, huh?

[subbrew]

a sophisticate, huh?

I only deal in the most upscale of bathroom jokes and woopie cushions.

[cranky]

I thought it was funny Jonny. Of course my daughter says I have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.

Mrs Cranky said something similar about me

[CoogeeBoy]

I apologize for my inappropriate comment and no excuse but was deep into the cups

Cheers,
J

You'll know when you've gone too far, they will tell you.

This isn't the Florida chapter of the Home Distiller

[cranky]

I am actually quite happy because old blue balls... jars that is ... like the one on the right are fairly uncommon and worth at least twice as much as I paid without the zinc band and glass lid.

[HDNB]

Are you serious?!?!?
So after leaving the drive thru today in Jax Beach, FL my wife took her sandwich out of the bag and we see THIS!! Seriously?

Oh not today, not today!! I went back to the restaurant, went INSIDE (already fuming), asked to speak to the manager and then threw the sandwich on the counter. I asked him for an explanation.
He looked confused, so I pointed at the writing on the sandwich and demanded that he tells me why someone felt the need to write it on my Wife’s sandwich.

He answered, "because you ordered a BLT with cheese??”

To which I replied “Oh”

[Forest Beekeeper]

I understood.

[HDNB]

since i'm not smart enough to share a video , imagine this:

teen aged boy sitting on the sofa, hears the family pull up
teen aged daughter walks in and says to her brother "mom hit her head" exits...
mom walks in holding her forehead. boy says "Mom! are you OK? what did you do to your head? mom exits....
Dad walks in carring cooler. teenage boy says "How's Mom's head?
Dad replies "Can't see how that's any of your business, but after 20 years she's getting better at it!"

[Twisted Brick]

Pretty damn funny that is, HDNB.

[The Baker]

I apologize for my inappropriate comment and no excuse but was deep into the cups

Cheers,
J

Seemed okay to me.

Must be an American thing.

Anyway I'm with you Johnny.

Geoff

[Deplorable]

I apologize for my inappropriate comment and no excuse but was deep into the cups

Cheers,
J

But what size were the cups? C or DD?

[Twisted Brick]

I apologize for my inappropriate comment and no excuse but was deep into the cups

Cheers,
J

But what size were the cups? C or DD?

The cup size coulda been a thimble… Jonny’s comment made me laugh my ass off!

[Deplorable]

I apologize for my inappropriate comment and no excuse but was deep into the cups

Cheers,
J

But what size were the cups? C or DD?

The cup size coulda been a thimble… Jonny’s comment made me laugh my ass off!

IBTC?
Itty Bitty Titty Committee?

[jonnys_spirit]

I apologize for my inappropriate comment and no excuse but was deep into the cups

Cheers,
J

But what size were the cups? C or DD?

The cup size coulda been a thimble… Jonny’s comment made me laugh my ass off!

IBTC?
Itty Bitty Titty Committee?

Whiskey glass size more than a shot, less than three fingers…

Cheers!
-j

[contrahead]

The name of this video is “Oxidative phosphorylation and the electron transport chain”. The subject has everything to do with fermentation and anaerobic respiration. Which is what we are all here to learn about; right?

The private joke or funny part, is that I can understand much of what this guy says. The fact that the lecturer's demeanor is much like a friendly weatherman on channel7, might be adding to that delusion though.

Listen for a few minutes.


https://cdn.kastatic.org/ka-youtube-con ... s.mp4#t=56

[harold01]

sorry contrahead couldn't make it past 1 minute

[NormandieStill]

The name of this video is “Oxidative phosphorylation and the electron transport chain”. The subject has everything to do with fermentation and anaerobic respiration. Which is what we are all here to learn about; right?

Argh. Triggered.

Way back when, I sat through* a degree a biochemistry at the university where a certain Prof. Hans Krebs did a large part of his work into the Citric Acid Cycle.

* Given my ever-decreasing lack of enthuasiasm it would be unfair to describe my presence as anything more than "sitting through", and in the many years since then I have sucessfully forgotten almost all of the content of the course (although a basic and sketchy understanding of the principles remains despite my best efforts!).

[HDNB]

thats not funny contra.

[Stonecutter]

What was Darth Vaders Wife’s name?
…Elle…

[Twisted Brick]

And his brother serving a short stint in jail?
Taxy

[HDNB]

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. "Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said. "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked. “What’s your Business at this convention?"
“Lecturer." She responded. "I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
“Really?” He said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well.” She explained. “One popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. "I’m Sorry." She said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."
"Tonto." The man said. "Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba."

[MooseMan]

Beautiful woman walking across a road and a guy in a sports car stops and says "Hi gorgeous, what's your name?"

She looks the car over, then looks him over and says - "Carmen, because I like cars, and I like men! What's your name?"

Guy leans out of the window a little more and says - "BeerPussy"

[HDNB]

what do you get when you cross an angry sheep and pissed off cow?

a small animal that's in a really, really baaaad mooood.

[Wildcats]

Baaaadddd mooooddddd