The liar's bench

[HDNB]

Tried to bring a meal but uncle jessie said it was to big. Was only a steer that dressed 1180lbs of corn fed yummy

He's from Cali, they only eat salads and quinoa there. Hell, a little bit of tenderloin like that would fit on one half of your average Albertan's BBQ!
We are standing by for your arrival!

[MichiganCornhusker]

He's from Cali, they only eat salads and quinoa there.

Not true! I had the good fortune to sit down with the Bigbob family last weekend, way out there in sunny Cali and he did grill us up a pork loin the size of my leg! Twas damn near the size of his leg!
Between us all we did eat it all up, and all the fixins too, no quinoa in sight, then drank up all his booze.
After that, I got into a nice bottle of scotch what jellybean give him and he started drinking right out of a Sweetfeed mash bucket! Lord I never seen the likes.

Fuzzy after that, but I'm told that at some point the ladies who were drinking wine tolt us to settle the hell down or they would sic his own dogs on us both. I got no bite marks so I'm guessing we either settled down or just conked out.

Damn sure was a nice evening!

[Bigbob]

That was a fun time MCH!! Now I’ve got to buy more sweet feed to build up my stores! Anybody that wants to stop by, you’ll be welcome.

[ga flatwoods]

So, to change up the discussion some, what is this?

[MichiganCornhusker]

Sluice box? Mouse race track? Marble course?

[Tater]

old worm box

[Bigbob]

Got no idea.... but here is something interesting. As MCH said above he came over for bbq. I noticed then but didn’t say anything. I had bought some new ‘green’ charcoal starter....( dudes I live in the heart of the beast: SF Bayarea). I just lit up the bbq tonight and when I used the new green fluid , got the distinct smell of heads! So the green is alcahol! Works nice, guess I’ve got to save my heads now.

[Truckinbutch]

Thought you learned that at Jed's house and mine . Burns hot as hell with a low signature and there is never a petroleum aftertaste .

[ga flatwoods]

old worm box

No, I thought TB might pick up on it but I guess not. It is an evaporator pan for sorghum syrup. Given to me by a friend. I intend to rebuild it and place it opposite my sugar cane kettle on a double chimney.

[The Baker]

Wow.

Geoff

[goinbroke2]

old worm box

No, I thought TB might pick up on it but I guess not. It is an evaporator pan for sorghum syrup. Given to me by a friend. I intend to rebuild it and place it opposite my sugar cane kettle on a double chimney.

Do you tap the sorghum trees like a maple? How do you get the syrup?
Take all day to evaporate a pan full? Wouldn't it be quicker boiling it down?

[kiwi Bruce]

Sorghum is a type of grass that's grown for it's grain...however the stalks can be pressed for the sweet juice it holds and this is rendered down to syrup.

[kiwi Bruce]

Fell for that one... it's the liars bench!

In Texas I'm told they drill for it...

[cranky]

Round here it's mined, kind of like the old treacle mines in England.

[ga flatwoods]

Sorghum is a grass that is much like sugar cane. It will grow in cooler areas where cane will not. It cannot be boiled down to sugar as suger cane can. The evaporator pan is normally ran as a continual flow from fresh juice on one end to syrup on the other. It is ran thin so the heat plays a larger role to the evaporation than in a large kettle batch.
GA Flatwoods

[goinbroke2]

Thanks, that's interesting.

[Truckinbutch]

old worm box

No, I thought TB might pick up on it but I guess not. It is an evaporator pan for sorghum syrup. Given to me by a friend. I intend to rebuild it and place it opposite my sugar cane kettle on a double chimney.

I should have picked up on that , knowing some of your proclivities .
Howsomever , that wasn't a viable industry right where I live . Our hillside farms and limited growing seasons lent more to growing corn , barley , rye , and oats .
The biggest miller and distiller of Monongahela Rye Whiskey in my county in the 1800's is just 2 miles over 1 ridge from my place and was only 7 miles from where they was building flatboats all year to carry that whiskey all the way to New Orleans at the start of the spring floods .
That's a whole 'nother story for another time .

[Truckinbutch]

Hey , y'all . Been enjoyin the hell out of this education on sorgum .
Brought another jug over to share . Been kinda busy recently . Had to help do a lot of preliminary work before SOH went in for shoulder replacement surgery on Tuesday .
Had to scrub floors 4 days in a row to get ahead because she knowed that I wouldn't scrub them every week like she does while she's laid up from surgery . Anyhow (I learned that segue from my buddy Arkansas Tom , a great American ) I found out that she has an entirely new vocabulary when she gets drugged up and has an even worse vocabulary post surgery .
Used one finger on the newly operated on arm to reply to my inquiry of how ya doin .
For those of you that have been here and met the love of my life , she is doing well at this point .
I'm full time house slave for the duration of her recovery .
Our two stock dogs are one of the biggest impediments . 'Mommy' went away for 2 days and came home feeling bad . They've surrounded her and it's at my own peril that I try to tend to her needs .

[ga flatwoods]

I hope you both get well soon!
Flatwoods

[HDNB]

I hope you both get well soon!
Flatwoods

Aye i'll second that! them shoulder surgeries are a fair bit of recovery but seen them go well for a few friends.... with a tremendous reduction in pain and increased mobility, so good thoughts for her to be as fortunate with her recovery!

this aging shit ain't for the feint of heart.

'bout damn time you picked up yer share of the chores anyway, TB.

[HDNB]

So with my Birthday coming up the missus asks what i want...

I sez "you know that thing you never do?"

"i'd like that to become the thing you seldom do"

[HDNB]

buddy comes over today sporting a nice new shiner.

"what's up?" sez I, looking at his eye

He says "well i was over at my new girlfriend's place and we were enjoying each other's company, on the kitchen table to boot!"

"awesome" i replied

He says, "all of a sudden the front door opens up, and she says to me "oh my God! that's my husband, quick use the backdoor!"

"In retrospect," he says " I should have run...but how often do you get an invitation like that!"

[contrahead]

I was looking for a place to drop this. Found it within another forum in a topic about genetically modifying a fat-gene mutation in pigs. There were a couple of PETA types in that thread, so someone else left this video in response.

A Vegetarian's Nightmare or A Dissertation on Plants Rights

[Truckinbutch]

Baxter Black is one of my heroes .
An update : SOH got through her shoulder replacement surgery in good order . She's home and doing well with my assistance .
I been doing laundry , cooking , and house cleaning without being put out much . Even dressing her wounds each day has not posed any problem . A surgical incision is much easier to address than a bullet wound .
The biggest problem has been something so simple that I had never given it any thought .
Since I achieved puberty at an early age I have practiced and become adept at assisting ladies in divesting themselves of their garments . That practice was totally wasted when I got placed in a position of having to dress one every day . Them clothes fall off a hell of a lot easier than they go back on
SOH is giving me no end of teasing about my bumbling attempts at getting her clothed when I've been so good at getting her naked for over 30 years .
I'm starting to get the hang of it .
I played Rodney Carrington's "Put your clothes back on " yesterday . That didn't do anything to enhance my popularity in the household .

[thecroweater]

Was cleaning up an old fowlers preserving kit the other day when I realized it was actually tinned copper and solid as a rock pointed out to Suzie would make a nice Gin still, Blenkie women, they won't suffer for art.

[ga flatwoods]

"The Bench Rest"

I stopped by to visit my old friends today.
Not much did any of 'em have to say.
I just warmed the bench and watched a bird
while none of them said one damned word.
Oh, only that they would speak,
After so long, to hear just one would be a treat!
I took a time to reflect on the past,
Stories of life, lies, cries, and laughs.
Good times we had, how we carried on!
We shared of each other, our drink and wine,
But more than that, we shared our time.
We dipped and chawed, smoked, and cussed,
We never bothered anybody, if'n they didnt first bother us!
We whittled and carved while others spun yarns.
We talked of our families, farms, and barnes.
Sometimes with a fire sometimes without,
in each other's company, even the smallest of us was stout.

I spoke of these things as I reflected out loud
Still nothing did they say,
Even as the evening drifted away.
My drink, brought to share, I drank some of
Then poured the rest on the ground.
A toast to each- my tribute round.
The sky had grown gray, a sad, somber feeling hung in the air-
Reflections of my spirit from my friends not being here.
"I will come to talk again," I say, "for now I must go"
As the gray from the sky turned to snow.
I rose from the bench and called roll for those gone,
As I passed by each one's name
carved deep into each stone.
"To whom were you talking Gramps?" I heard my grandson say.
"To my friends son." I say. "But there was no one there Gramps!"
"Yes, they were there, but long ago gone away.
Perhaps you too, will see them one day!"
"Now take me home son, it's cold out, and I have nothing left to say.
Such is this place, and now such is this day!"

Written

November 6, 2015
_________________

[thecroweater]

[Truckinbutch]

Our friend Flatwoods ; resident poet laureate of 'The Liar's Bench' .

[ga flatwoods]

Our friend Flatwoods ; resident poet laureate of 'The Liar's Bench' .

bench been cold and dead so it seemed appropriate.
Flatwoods

[Truckinbutch]

Yep . Seems that all our rowdy friends done settled down . Don't know if we can spark them up or not .