Maker’s Mark Bourbon Review by Fester
Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 3:26 pm
Maker’s Mark
Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whisky
Handmade
Loretto, Kentucky, USA
750 ml. 45%alc/vol
As all the diehard Fester lovers out there know, I’m not one to be buying booze. It’s just been an itch to try Maker’s Mark after all the propaganda that I’ve read about this store-bought booze that made me want to try some. For purely Scientific Reasons mind you. After all, if Maker’s Mark is the “standard” then I should set my sights to emulate nothing but the best. Or at the very least experience the flavor of a fine bourbon. And Maker’s Mark has a dedicated cult following and I want to see why.
So I go to a bar and order a Maker’s Mark. Sorry, says the barkeep, we don’t have it. Too expensive for this dumpy dive perhaps?
Crap, says I, and I leave. Because now I must buy a whole bottle just to try it.
I go to the liquor store and get a 750ml bottle of Maker's Mark for $25. It’s the smallest one they have. Note: At this point, Fester parts with $25 for storebought booze. Let this soak in awhile. You can now see that this is some serious shit going on here. Fester is a cheap bastard and damned proud of it. And that is $25! (the cost of a 50 gallon wash or 5 gallons of "Fester Goodness").
I read the bottle carefully. Word for word. Soaking it all in. Inspecting the hand-dipped wax blobby seal that looks so cool. Flashing ideas into my head about dipping my homemade hooch in wax too. Then I see a nice little pull tab to open the wax seal. Again, so cool. Inspecting the wax seal tamper proof device I realize it is a piece of fiber tape and again my mind flashes knock-off instructions to my brain. I’m very impressed so far with this company’s ability to get even Fester to buy a bottle and be impressed with the bottle, packaging and label too. So here goes…
I take my favorite shot glass. Wash and dry it even because this is gonna be special. I've wanted this for a long time. I gently unscrew the wax covered plastic cap and “nose" it. You know, I smell it real good for a long time. It is interesting. My excitement was instantly replaced with curiosity at the smell of it. The first sensory registration was a chemical smell. It smelled like heads! But that quickly disappeared. The finish on the first inhalation was best described as oily tails. I was not impressed. Right now MY SHIT has got this whopped!
But I’m into it for $25 USD and I have a clean shot glass. What would you do?
As I raised the jiggerfull to my lips, my nose registered a completely different set of signals. I could smell the barrel oak in all its glory. Rich and pleasing. I knew immediately that it was over-oaked. I’ve done it myself and the batch would not taste pleasing to me. But there is no turning back now.
I charged my mouth with about 1/3 of the shot glass’s contents and felt the mild burn of 45% alcohol on my tongue and cheeks. It was not unpleasant as I swallowed and took a long breath. I had just experienced my first Maker’s Mark. The flavor was unique. I experienced a sensation almost eucalyptus in its ability to busrt open the flavor sensors in my mouth and on my breath. And still there was that chemical taste that I am not used to. So naturally I pour another jigger several times because this is a bonified experiment after all, right?
Each shot was more pleasant than the one before. Just like with the shit I made when I first started distilling. Even bad stuff, if you keep drinking, will taste less and less offensive.
So now for my Total Flavor Evaluation: (drumroll, please)
It sucks. It tastes like other commercial booze out there at half the price.
I got used to my own hooch that has almost no heads or tails. I am spoiled now. I only drink hearts. I can taste the heads and tails in Maker’s Mark that I simply don’t have in my booze. I appreciate the “complexity” that they bring to the overall experience but to me it is too much. The chemical taste and smell is a big negitave but the smoothness they achieved through aging helps to make a nice balance. I think they are greedy. Too far into the heads and tails.
BUT WAIT…..
Lets be fair. They use some wheat in the grain bill and I’m not used to that so it may be an acquired taste. I PROMISE, I will research this further by liver saturation and due diligence to complete this Highly Scientific Survey. In other words, I’ll get snockered tonight on Maker’s Mark and tell you guys about the hangover in the morning.
Fester
Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whisky
Handmade
Loretto, Kentucky, USA
750 ml. 45%alc/vol
As all the diehard Fester lovers out there know, I’m not one to be buying booze. It’s just been an itch to try Maker’s Mark after all the propaganda that I’ve read about this store-bought booze that made me want to try some. For purely Scientific Reasons mind you. After all, if Maker’s Mark is the “standard” then I should set my sights to emulate nothing but the best. Or at the very least experience the flavor of a fine bourbon. And Maker’s Mark has a dedicated cult following and I want to see why.
So I go to a bar and order a Maker’s Mark. Sorry, says the barkeep, we don’t have it. Too expensive for this dumpy dive perhaps?
Crap, says I, and I leave. Because now I must buy a whole bottle just to try it.
I go to the liquor store and get a 750ml bottle of Maker's Mark for $25. It’s the smallest one they have. Note: At this point, Fester parts with $25 for storebought booze. Let this soak in awhile. You can now see that this is some serious shit going on here. Fester is a cheap bastard and damned proud of it. And that is $25! (the cost of a 50 gallon wash or 5 gallons of "Fester Goodness").
I read the bottle carefully. Word for word. Soaking it all in. Inspecting the hand-dipped wax blobby seal that looks so cool. Flashing ideas into my head about dipping my homemade hooch in wax too. Then I see a nice little pull tab to open the wax seal. Again, so cool. Inspecting the wax seal tamper proof device I realize it is a piece of fiber tape and again my mind flashes knock-off instructions to my brain. I’m very impressed so far with this company’s ability to get even Fester to buy a bottle and be impressed with the bottle, packaging and label too. So here goes…
I take my favorite shot glass. Wash and dry it even because this is gonna be special. I've wanted this for a long time. I gently unscrew the wax covered plastic cap and “nose" it. You know, I smell it real good for a long time. It is interesting. My excitement was instantly replaced with curiosity at the smell of it. The first sensory registration was a chemical smell. It smelled like heads! But that quickly disappeared. The finish on the first inhalation was best described as oily tails. I was not impressed. Right now MY SHIT has got this whopped!
But I’m into it for $25 USD and I have a clean shot glass. What would you do?
As I raised the jiggerfull to my lips, my nose registered a completely different set of signals. I could smell the barrel oak in all its glory. Rich and pleasing. I knew immediately that it was over-oaked. I’ve done it myself and the batch would not taste pleasing to me. But there is no turning back now.
I charged my mouth with about 1/3 of the shot glass’s contents and felt the mild burn of 45% alcohol on my tongue and cheeks. It was not unpleasant as I swallowed and took a long breath. I had just experienced my first Maker’s Mark. The flavor was unique. I experienced a sensation almost eucalyptus in its ability to busrt open the flavor sensors in my mouth and on my breath. And still there was that chemical taste that I am not used to. So naturally I pour another jigger several times because this is a bonified experiment after all, right?
Each shot was more pleasant than the one before. Just like with the shit I made when I first started distilling. Even bad stuff, if you keep drinking, will taste less and less offensive.
So now for my Total Flavor Evaluation: (drumroll, please)
It sucks. It tastes like other commercial booze out there at half the price.
I got used to my own hooch that has almost no heads or tails. I am spoiled now. I only drink hearts. I can taste the heads and tails in Maker’s Mark that I simply don’t have in my booze. I appreciate the “complexity” that they bring to the overall experience but to me it is too much. The chemical taste and smell is a big negitave but the smoothness they achieved through aging helps to make a nice balance. I think they are greedy. Too far into the heads and tails.
BUT WAIT…..
Lets be fair. They use some wheat in the grain bill and I’m not used to that so it may be an acquired taste. I PROMISE, I will research this further by liver saturation and due diligence to complete this Highly Scientific Survey. In other words, I’ll get snockered tonight on Maker’s Mark and tell you guys about the hangover in the morning.
Fester
