Home Distiller

Just thought I'd share a story of my heart pounding experience last night.

I was on my way home under the cover of night after a long day of stillin. My still stays out at a friends over an hr away from home. It had been snowing pretty bad, so I was making sure to drive extra careful, not wanting to draw attention to myself, or land in a ditch.

I passed an accident or two, and had a couple cop cars pass me by, and it seemed like there was cherries lighting up every few km. this made me very nervous, so I made sure I stayed under the speed limit, always signalled when I changed lanes, and didn't draw any attention to myself. After all I had 5gallons of rum sitting in the passenger seat. Jars piled to the dash, and 2 gallon (glass) jugs filled to the neck. The last thing I wanted, was to get pulled over, especially since I had been sampling a bit of the product shortly before leaving.

I passed yet another accident scene, and as I drove by, noticed one of the officers leaving the scene. No worries right, I'm not doing anything wrong. Then the lights went on. I was being pulled over. "There must be something ahead he needs to warn me of" I thought in my head. Whic immediately changed to, "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit". While the province just changed their micro distilling laws, I'm not quite sure how legal my little operation is. And even still, an open liquor ticket is just small potatoes when you have 5gallons of open liquor.

As the officer walked up, I carefully positioned myself sideways, and pretended like my interior light wasn't working as I searched for my insurance in my wallet with my hands out the window in his headlights. Of course, that didn't stop him from shining his light through my cab to see what I had going on. ("Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit" was all I was still thinking at this time)

This is the conversation:
Cop - "I pulled you over because your license plate is completely covered in snow"
Me - "Oh really? Sorry about that sir"
Cop - "Have you had anything to drink tonight?" (Shining flashlight throughout truck cab"
Me - "Had a bit of hair of the dog this afternoon, but nothing since sir. Mind if I come out and clear my plate off?"
Cop- "yeah, come on out." (I proceed to clean the snow off my plate, hoping he's not getting too snoopy about the jars carefully labeled with abv%)
Cop - "You smell pretty strongly of booze, I'm going to have to ask you to submit to a breath sample ok?"
Me - "sure, no problem." ("Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit")

He takes me over to his car, pats me down, puts me in the back seat. All I'm thinking is what do I say if he asks about the jars in the front seat, and praying I don't blow over.

After the usual speech required, he points the tube at me, and I blow.

Cop - "you blew a 0, ok, your good to go!"
Me - "thank you sir, have a good night!" Casually walk back to my truck, light a cigarette, strap my seat belt on, and drive. Heart pounding hands shaking, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

I don't know if he just ignored the jars, or knew full well what it was and just chose not to care, or what, but I tell ya, I smoked a half a deck of smokes the rest of the way home, and was still shitting bricks about it this morning.

All I know is, I was planning on loading my still up to make a few changes to it, but decided it could wait, and I'm so glad I didn't.

Wow, glad you made it. Hope you find a good detail shop to clean the upholstery. Might want to change your transporting philosophy.

All I can say is with my heart I wouldn't be here today. Glad you made it.

That makes 'Aw Shit!' more than a figure of speech .

Glad all was good mate, havnt been in that situation with my own stuff thank.God!. You might want to think about a.change of clothes next time, my missus says I stink of booze when I've been stilling.

Wow man! Glad it all worked out. Be putting that shit in the trunk or toolbox next time I bet.

Yeah, I gave the universe a good thanking. Gonna have to build a cover for my box, I just don't like the idea of a bunch of jars/bottles bouncing around in the box. My suspension isn't the greatest. After all the time it takes to run a batch, hate to get home to find it all ran down the highway. Lol

Shitin' bricks ? Man those suckers gotta be hard to pass with them sharp edges and what not.

FMH.

A friend of my got robbed recently. Couple of things got stolen from he's barn, needless to say he called the cops. After 30 minutes they showed up. Cops ad my friends went into the barn and one policemen looks in a corner of the place to notice still with a thumper looks away and starts asking question about robbery. Not all cops are bad . Drunk-n-Smurf how did you stay so calm?

Feeling like I need to change my shorts just reading that.
Run out and buy a lottery ticket quick!

Cheers

kaziel wrote: Drunk-n-Smurf how did you stay so calm?

No idea. I just tried to remember that I hadn't done anything wrong as far as driving was concerned, and was hoping that he wouldn't care or ask about the moonshine. Had I blown over, I'm sure it would have ended differently.

Damn it man! Made me want to smoke two or three after reading that! Perhaps you should cut, blend, age and bottle on site as well. That is a lot of glass to be hauling loose. Couldnt have picked a worse day of the year to be hauling the popos were out like flies in GA last night! Bet you know now how a dog feels trying to shit a peachseed!
GA Flatwoods

How much did you have to drink? I know the limit here is about one pint of 4% beer but spirits may smell stronger. The coppers are out in force during this time of season for obvious reasons.

You missed a pretty big bullet there!

I had a few through out the day, and the odd sample as it ran off the still.

The limit here is 0.05, which equates to pretty much a shot of mouth wash. I don't know how I blew a 0, but I'm damn thankful to someone that I did.

That 'Breaking Bad' idea of changing clothes has great merit . My clothes and hair reek of hooch after a session in the still house . It has been noticed if I go out in public without changing clothes at the very least . A shower along with the change removes all doubt .

Sounds to me like your a little paranoid. That in itself draws attention. As far as the paranoia about how much you had to drink, there shouldnt even be a question. It should have been zero. Dont mean to bust your chops, but if you were sampling product shortly before leaving, you shouldnt have been!

Rake me over the coals if you want. Thats just my opinion.

Come to think of it - I've noticed that smell on myself before. Been times when I would run the still in the morning and pop out to Walmart or some place later in the day. Coupled with my bad legs and naturally stumblin' around like I'm drunk, I have to wonder what people might have been thinkin'. A wonder I didn't get arrested for public drunkenness.

Like Cooker said, if that had happened to me, they would be placing flowers on my grave. I've sent my daughter down the road with a bottle or two to deliver to her boyfriend, and being paranoid, I always insist that she put it in the trunk.

S-C

For the nonbelievers ; just put the clothes you been wearin in the still house while runnin in a garbage bag . Shower and go out into fresh air to Micky D's or some place non bar oriented . Come back with a fresh nose and smell those clothes in the bag . Point made when you do that .

I too have smelled my hooch on myself.

I been accused and never touched a drop.
Thankfully she thinks I'm purty.

Yeah mate had this happen to me awhile back, worse still it was some special forces super cops and my car had 8 cases of shine just brought across a interstate boarder . Would not have looked good but these cops it turns out were hunting down some child rapist scum that had escaped from Ararat prison and couldn't give two squirts about some darn crow eat in shiner

Thereby transit the blessed