Jokes
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Re: Jokes
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes, she gave me a hug!
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- Rumrunner
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Re: Jokes
A vampire walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a cup of hot water. Looking at this guy, he’s clearly a vampire. Pale complexion, dried blood on his chin, general un-dead appearance.
The bartender, puzzled by the drink order replies, “hey man, don’t you guys drink blood? What’s with the hot water?”
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and replies “I’m making tea.”
Haha
The bartender, puzzled by the drink order replies, “hey man, don’t you guys drink blood? What’s with the hot water?”
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and replies “I’m making tea.”
Haha
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- Rumrunner
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Re: Jokes
A penguin is driving down the road and realizes he’s having a bit of car trouble, so he heads to a local mechanic to get it fixed.
The Mechanic tells the penguin, “this might take a while” and points to the waiting room.
The penguin looks out the garage door and sees an ice cream shop across the street. Penguins love ice cream, so he heads over there for a vanilla cone while he waits. Since he doesn’t have any hands, he proceeds to dribble ice cream all over himself, making a total mess. After he finishes his sloppy dessert, he heads back across the street.
Upon walking up to the auto shop, the mechanic steps out and says “it looks like you blew a seal.”
The penguin chuckles and replies, “nah, it’s just a little ice cream.”
The Mechanic tells the penguin, “this might take a while” and points to the waiting room.
The penguin looks out the garage door and sees an ice cream shop across the street. Penguins love ice cream, so he heads over there for a vanilla cone while he waits. Since he doesn’t have any hands, he proceeds to dribble ice cream all over himself, making a total mess. After he finishes his sloppy dessert, he heads back across the street.
Upon walking up to the auto shop, the mechanic steps out and says “it looks like you blew a seal.”
The penguin chuckles and replies, “nah, it’s just a little ice cream.”
Re: Jokes
When your distillation doesn’t meet your expectations:
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- Site Donor
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Re: Jokes
Haha! That actually made me laugh. Reminds me of when my little sister wouldn't believe that Tabasco wasn't ketchup!
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- Site Donor
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Re: Jokes
As a kid, I actually went as far as to make hot chocolate with cocoa powder. I never tasted it once until I poured it into my cup.
"I have a potstill that smears like a fresh plowed coon on the highway" - Jimbo
A little spoon feeding *For New & Novice Distillers
A little spoon feeding *For New & Novice Distillers
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- Swill Maker
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- Location: Kentucky
Re: Jokes
If you've never seen "Cheers", you might not fully appreciate this.
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- Swill Maker
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Re: Jokes
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
I help collage girl's make bad decisions..... I make liquor bottles as a career.
- cranky
- Master of Distillation
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Re: Jokes
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
- Deplorable
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Re: Jokes
Thats genius!
Fear and ridicule are the tactics of weak-minded cowards and tyrants who have no other leadership talent from which to draw in order to persuade.
Re: Jokes
I remember my university lecturer on early morning telling us:
"I've found that the best way to start the day is to exercise for five minutes, take a deep breath of fresh air, and then have a bowl of delicious cereal with raisins and almonds, a cup of green tea and finish with a cold shower, and then I really feel rosy all over.”
I called out to him:
"Tell us more about Rosie.”
"I've found that the best way to start the day is to exercise for five minutes, take a deep breath of fresh air, and then have a bowl of delicious cereal with raisins and almonds, a cup of green tea and finish with a cold shower, and then I really feel rosy all over.”
I called out to him:
"Tell us more about Rosie.”
Taking a break while I get a new still completed....
Re: Jokes
My wife said before me she stopped seeing Gym as it just didn’t work out!
- Saltbush Bill
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Re: Jokes
Geeeeezus Coog, where do you find them?
Re: Jokes
Its like a snowball.....tell one joke and get 2 back from all over the place.
Which reminds me of St Patricks Day just a while back, when I met an Irishman who was bouncing off the walls. His name was Rick,
Rick O'Shay
Taking a break while I get a new still completed....
Re: Jokes
A man is walking through a park and sees and elderly gentleman quietly crying on a bench. He asks the old man what's wrong.
I'm 86 years old and last month I married a gorgeous, 30 year old woman. She's stunning, a great cook, the house is spotless and the sex...the sex is fantastic and all the time.
So, why are you crying? That sounds amazing.
I can't remember where I live!
I'm 86 years old and last month I married a gorgeous, 30 year old woman. She's stunning, a great cook, the house is spotless and the sex...the sex is fantastic and all the time.
So, why are you crying? That sounds amazing.
I can't remember where I live!
- Dancing4dan
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Re: Jokes
Why did Jesus make wine at the wedding in Cainan?
Copper tubing hadn’t been invented yet.
Copper tubing hadn’t been invented yet.
"What harms us is to persist in self deceit and ignorance"
Marcus Aurelius
I’m not an alcoholic! I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings!
Marcus Aurelius
I’m not an alcoholic! I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings!
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- Site Donor
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Re: Jokes
I think my wife likes it in the ear.
Everytime I try to put it in her mouth she turns her head.
Everytime I try to put it in her mouth she turns her head.
I drink so much now,on the back of my license it's a list of organs I need.