joke

[LeftLaneCruiser]

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of negotiations, her Majesty Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy.

Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgraful, and they would go.

By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar shanges vuld of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reali sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.





KJH

[LeftLaneCruiser]

Glad that this one is only a joke :


A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river.'

With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river.'

And then finally, he said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river.' He sat down.

The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, 'For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: 'Shall We Gather at the River.'


KJH

[The Chemist]

Ar ve to asum zat in ze sixz jahre, ze verb vill to ze end bemoven?

[LeftLaneCruiser]

Dang...

I added a whole new thread

I thought i was replying to the 'jokes-thread' ...

Ah well... as long as we understand eachother..

KJH