(NOTE this list will be updated frequently with peoples submissions from the follow up posts in this thread, and be the 'official' list, with citations of course
)The Sugar Excuse List:
A new list for responses to store clerks when you buy 100 pounds or more of sugar.
got a few good ideas already:
1. blank stare. say nothing. pretend you are deaf or upset with the store. (Fester)
2. the old "church bake sale, this year i supply the sugar" (not mine, just read it somewhere) (Fester)
3. "i own a bakery" (Fester)
4. "you didn't hear the news last night? sugar price is about to skyrocket. I'm getting ready." (Fester)
5. "just doing as i am told. I do not ask questions, OK?". (Fester)
6. "an acre of strawberries( or other fruit) takes a lot of sugar to preserve... and this is not enough!" (Fester)
7. "this ain't nothing, last time it was twice this and still ran out... as you know.. (recite #2,3 or 6)" (Fester)
8. Young cashier girlie inquired about my sugar and yeast purchase. She started to explain to me how she was a chemistry major in college and how surgar and yeast and fermented stuff and blah blah blah,,,,,,,as I stood there paying for my supplies with what was a stupid looking grin on my face I'm sure. (see #1) (kiwistiller)
9. when you cannot bus / bike / walk to the shops any more because the quantities of sugar you are consuming is not movable without a car. You no longer notice the strange looks at said supermarket. (kiwistiller)
10. I'm putting it in peoples gas tanks (kiwistiller)
11. (at 3am) It's a brewing emergency! HURRY! (kiwistiller)
12. I have befriended a giant, and its his birthday so I need to make a giant-cake (kiwistiller)
13. I'm a florist. its for the flowers (kiwistiller)
14. I'm diabetic, I cook this up and inject it. hurry up, I need a hit. [all time fav] (kiwistiller)
15. I'm the candyman. (kiwistiller)
16. I'm planting it so I can get a sugar cane crop (kiwistiller)
17. what? I thought this was breakfast cereal?! (kiwistiller)
18. I'm building my fallout shelter walls with sugar, so that I can be sealed inside and slowly eat my way out. Don't you know that sugar is a great insulator? (kiwistiller)
19. I meet the food distributer truck in the main street of my local town and transfer 200 kilos of sugar to my vehicle. Does that look a bit suspect? (bourbonbob)
20. tell them 50lb of sugar for the coffee at this weeks AA meeting might be enough (nedscreekkennels)
21. If the store clerk is a looker and you happen to have your wedding band on just tell her your wife's a bad diabetic and you just can't afford a divorce...so... (trthskr4)
22. They are out of sandbox sand at the Home Depot. It's my son's birtday so were making him a swimming pool full of Kool Aid. (poidog)
23. Tonight is jello-wrestling night, and the noob in charge or procurement, bought nasty sugar free jello, and the ladies simply do not like it. (Husker)
24. I use it for ballast in my hot-air balloon. Sugar is more environmentally friendly than sand. (poidog)
25. Bees are to sick to fly to flowers. Have a whole herd of humming birds to feed (tater)
26. I'm a research dentist ... .(blind drunk)
27. I just tell 'em I'm making wine. One packet of grape Kool-Aid and 100 pounds of sugar makes the best wine I've ever tasted. (Hawke)
