HI HONEY I'M HOME!!!!

[goinbroke2]

Just got home and I'm likkered again. Why am I on the computer? Cause I went in the bedroom , woke up the wife, slapped
her on the ass and said "ok tubby, your next" hahahahahahaha

Fuck she's pissed! I'm in the basement on the computor and i'll probably be sleeping here too hahahaha

Look at how good I can spell when I type 3 words a minute and spell check!

I thought I would start a thread so people who are logging on likkered must come here first.
In the words of that comedian who does the radio jokes says, where are you and what are you wearing.
In the basement, wearing jeans and a tee shirt and a stupid grin

OK everybody else, your turn.

[kiwistiller]

Just got home and I'm likkered again. Why am I on the computer? Cause I went in the bedroom , woke up the wife, slapped her on the ass and said "ok tubby, your next" hahahahahahaha

You're a visionary, mate

[HookLine]

You're lucky to be alive, mate.

[Ayay]

If she still recognisers you then she is a keeper!

[blanikdog]

I think I see another legend in the forum. A very brave one.

blanik

[goinbroke2]

Weeeeellll now....kinda quiet around here....no hangover Sat morning.(love my likker) Quiet cause mama ain't talkin to me. Since mama was being a baby about a little joke, I ran a batch in the garage Saturday. Totally messed it up too. A good lesson though so I'll make a new thread in novice section. Sunday...brr, the old lady wouldn't even look at me in church. Monday morning..eh, said g'bye when I left..(in roads?) Came home tonight and she had pizza waiting for me, met me at the door said she was working until ten, see ya then.

hmm..maybe I should do the dishes or something? Make an attempt?

mmm maybe I'll go on the computor for a couple hours, I'll do the dishes later, yeah that's the ticket..

[goinbroke2]

In my defense, it really seemed like a brilliant idea at the time. A thread just for people who were loaded to post stuff. Of course reading this sober, I'm thinking what a moron.
That's ok, I posted in a bunch of other places before she jerked the computor power cord out of the wall. (I was laughing pretty hard when I was posting, I love my own jokes) Then she took the guitar...sober people don't like dealing with drunk people. Can't blame her, I hate it too!

So, in hindsight..perhaps this thread was silly. Damn hilarious when loaded though.

[kiwistiller]

mmm maybe I'll go on the computor for a couple hours, I'll do the dishes later, yeah that's the ticket..

Don't forget, now

[JethroBodine]

goingbroke2 said -
woke up the wife, slapped her on the ass and said "ok tubby, your next"

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEAS!! Can I use this in my signature? I NEARLY choked to death when I read that. If it haden't been really good shine, I would have had to spit it out. Close anyway. This time lol literally means laughing out loud( and nearly falling on the floor).

[goinbroke2]

Well I was rather full at the time and you know how everything seems funny...well it just popped out.

In hindsight however...

Like the time at a party I staggered over and she said what is that stink? (I had went out for a piss and stepped in dogshit and didn't know it)
I said "I dunno" and held my fingers up to her nose and said "that it?" then yelled "hey Cindy, the wife says you stink" (a hot blonde that was at the party getting a lot of attention)

Gotta admit she can take a joke....when she calms down.

She knows I've never fooled around on her and never would but I like to be a smart ass and like an audience.

I was at a bar and was quite full...this is a recurring theme isn't it? hmmm, anyway, I'm at a bar and sitting with my feet spread out because my knee was bothering me. The waitress walks by and trips over my foot and lands in a heap, bottles/glasses flying everywhere. Everybody looked at me and I said "Hey, they said tip the waitress"

Hey at least tonight I'm not likkered, but I am having a drink of some brandy I made tonight. 42% was as close as I wanted to get without adding too much water.
Damn fine!

[sambo]

Funnest thing I've read in a long time. Really am LMAO. I know it's an old post but how did it all turn out?

[Samohon]

Yup, gotta agree with Blanik, a very brave man.
Just make sure it does'nt come back to bite you in the ass...

If I said that to Mrs Samohon I'd need to be wearing battle armour...
Great line though...

[GreyGambler]

awesome story. I'm starting to drink tonite to try this esp. slapping her on the ass and saying tubby your next. funny shit

[Samohon]

awesome story. I'm starting to drink tonite to try this esp. slapping her on the ass and saying tubby your next. funny shit

Think twice GG, have another couple of drink's before you go into battle...

[blind drunk]

I know it's an old post but how did it all turn out?

He is still among the living. bd.

[todd54]

I thought I would start a thread so people who are logging on likkered must come here first.
In the words of that comedian who does the radio jokes says, where are you and what are you wearing.
In the basement, wearing jeans and a tee shirt and a stupid grin

When suddenly, at the top of the stairs a groan that sounded like something from the dead. Oh S..., I doomed to the revenge of the Bitch.

[ScottishBoy]

For any of you who married a Celt, if you say this....prepare for Doom...
I married the living incarnation of Boudica.

God, I love my woman.

[pumpman]

You guys need to see some of his other shit!

[ScottishBoy]

You guys need to see some of his other shit!

You have stool samples?

[blind drunk]

You have stool samples?

They're in Yeasts, Enzymes, Fungi, Nutrients section

[Samohon]

I know it's an old post but how did it all turn out?

He is still among the living. bd.

No internet connection in the dog house BD...

[scarecrow]

Just got home and I'm likkered again.......Cause I went in the bedroom.......slapped
her on the ass and said "ok tubby, your next".......

Happened to me the other week. Thank god Mrs Egan next door had a sense of humour and took me home.

scarecrow