Micheal Phelps beaten by sperm

[mogur]

New studies show that sperm, considering their length, is twice as fast as the average male swimmer. Just thinking. Dunno. Michael Phelps is a lot longer than the average sperm cell, so I would guess that there wouldn't be a contest if he happened to ejactulate on winning a gold. But I have been wrong before, so take it as an advisory. Don't swim in cloudy water. And hope that chlorine does its job. Jellyfish are ok, but winning gold is often a quandary, you get a little, and you give a little. Where are the scientific standards? New govmint study shows that Phelps is a winner, sexual gametes don't even place.

[mash rookie]

Your killing me Mogur. Are you worried that when swimming they will catch you and make you pregnant? Is this the new best excuse for cheating wives? “I swear honey I must have gotten pregnant swimming at the pool” “It must be all those 15 yo boys swimming there”

There are some serious ramifications here. How far can they swim? How long do they live in water looking for a host? Do they morph into alien creatures?

How fast do you swim in the cold Puget sound waters off your Whidbey Island? Can sperm swim fast in salt water? Better wear protection. Keep a close eye on clams. If they start looking like Michael Phelps you better stick to crabs. They are treatable.

[mogur]

Ok, that was the absolute stupidest post I've ever done, and thank you mash rookie for putting up with me. I don't swim in the cold anymore. I like to float in an 125 degree bathtub. I like to get drunk. I like to post stupid crap, and I think that yeast are awesome.

I couldn't believe my post when I saw it a few days later, (meaning, today). I voted for Hubert H. Humphrey. But then, I was in prison and my vote didn't count. [No, I didn't rape little boys, I did do stupid stuff when I was seventeen, in the Air Force, and drunk.]

I am now a couple years older (read, 50 years), and I have been married seven times. God knows what the hell they were thinking! Half my exes are from Texas, but then they are the most beautiful women in the world. I hope my current partner doesn't see this post, but who cares? There are more invertebrates in the sea.