The liar's bench
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- Red Rim
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Re: The liar's bench
So there we were, sitting on the back deck, post slip and bleed party, watching the Oregon ducks, whoop Michigan's arse. It was hotter than the Mohave desert in July. Since everyone was soaked, I started up a campfire for the kids to warm themselves ( don't know how a kid can shiver when its 95 degrees out). It was extra hot because we had two different forest fires burning on each side of us. The smoke was so bad, we could no longer see the mountains around us.
As we were relaxing, we heard a helicopter approach. It dipped its bucket into the river behind us and picked up a big ole load of water. Facinated , we watched it pull out of the river, clear the tree line and hover over our fire. Then it happened. Blinded by the smoke but obviously seeing the fire, he released the bucket directly over us! 8 wet people,dogs, drenched fire, and a few fish bouncing all over the deck. One hell of a party. Now we had a few fresh trout to go with the crabs we were eating!
As we were relaxing, we heard a helicopter approach. It dipped its bucket into the river behind us and picked up a big ole load of water. Facinated , we watched it pull out of the river, clear the tree line and hover over our fire. Then it happened. Blinded by the smoke but obviously seeing the fire, he released the bucket directly over us! 8 wet people,dogs, drenched fire, and a few fish bouncing all over the deck. One hell of a party. Now we had a few fresh trout to go with the crabs we were eating!
There is no such thing as a stupid question....... Unless you didn't research it first.
- Bigbob
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Re: The liar's bench
You should post that in the ice bucket challenge post!!!
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- S-Cackalacky
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Re: The liar's bench
Reminds me of something I watched on some nature channel on TV earlier today. They were talking about the extinct Carrier Pigeon and how it numbered in the billions 100 years ago. Great flocks of these things would fly over looking like giant clouds moving across the sky. So tell me, can pigeons shit while they fly?
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- S-Cackalacky
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Re: The liar's bench
Maybe that's why they no longer exist. Anyway, this scientist guy was talking about how they may become extant again because they're looking at introducing DNA from some dead Carrier Pigeons into a close cousin for the purpose of reproducing them. So, when you see that unexplained cloud coming over the hills, run for shelter.
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- S-Cackalacky
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Re: The liar's bench
Apparently they were really good to eat. But then, it could be that they were shitting on everybody. The one good thing that came out of it was a big movement for wildlife conservation.
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- moosemilk
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Re: The liar's bench
Birdie birdie in the sky.
Flying up there, way up high.
Drops a doodie in my eye.
Gee I'm glad cows don't fly!
Flying up there, way up high.
Drops a doodie in my eye.
Gee I'm glad cows don't fly!
- Truckinbutch
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Re: The liar's bench
I had promised on another thread to post a Stacy Groscup story here . He was a legendary bow hunter and an ordained minister among other accomplishments . In Guiness Book Of World Records , if ya care to look .
He had to have a registered guide while he was working toward his own guiding license in Canada .That was Mike , a French Canadian that only had a rudimentary grasp of spoken English . Walking out of the village on a Saturday with their packs on their backs they came upon the Priest .
"Ah , Mike , it's goin' on a hunt you are , is it ?"
"Yes , Father ."
"Then ya won't be makin Mass tomorrow , willya ?"
" No , Father . But you pray real good we get a moose and I'll make Mass and Confession 3 Sundays straight when I get back ."
By Monday evening they had reached Mike's hunting concession and set up camp . As they were settling in for the evening a bull moose approached the edge of the camp . Greenhorn that he was at the time , Stacy snatched up his bow and stuck an arrow in the moose ; just a little too far back ..... Moose charged the camp ground and singled Mike as his target . Mike dodged behind a tree and wrapped his left hand around the tree to catch his balance . Moose hit the tree , piercing Mike's hand and the tree ; and hung there . Couldn't get loose . The melee got frantic . Stacy running from side to side sticking arrows into the moose and Mike stabbing his hunting knife around the tree into the moose's neck until they got it killed .
>
>All the time Mike was yelling ,"Father pray too hard ! Father pray too hard !"
>As accomplished as he was , this was one of Stacy's favorite stories .................. RIP , Stacy .
He had to have a registered guide while he was working toward his own guiding license in Canada .That was Mike , a French Canadian that only had a rudimentary grasp of spoken English . Walking out of the village on a Saturday with their packs on their backs they came upon the Priest .
"Ah , Mike , it's goin' on a hunt you are , is it ?"
"Yes , Father ."
"Then ya won't be makin Mass tomorrow , willya ?"
" No , Father . But you pray real good we get a moose and I'll make Mass and Confession 3 Sundays straight when I get back ."
By Monday evening they had reached Mike's hunting concession and set up camp . As they were settling in for the evening a bull moose approached the edge of the camp . Greenhorn that he was at the time , Stacy snatched up his bow and stuck an arrow in the moose ; just a little too far back ..... Moose charged the camp ground and singled Mike as his target . Mike dodged behind a tree and wrapped his left hand around the tree to catch his balance . Moose hit the tree , piercing Mike's hand and the tree ; and hung there . Couldn't get loose . The melee got frantic . Stacy running from side to side sticking arrows into the moose and Mike stabbing his hunting knife around the tree into the moose's neck until they got it killed .
>
>All the time Mike was yelling ,"Father pray too hard ! Father pray too hard !"
>As accomplished as he was , this was one of Stacy's favorite stories .................. RIP , Stacy .
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
- Bigbob
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Re: The liar's bench
That's awesome
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- ga flatwoods
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Re: The liar's bench
That is s great story TB and I enjoyed reading it. I love a good hunting story.
That avatar mention in the signature line is appreciated but unnecessary. It justed looked like a natural for you.
Ga Flatwoods
That avatar mention in the signature line is appreciated but unnecessary. It justed looked like a natural for you.
Ga Flatwoods
The hardest item to add to a bottle of shine is patience!
I am still kicking.
Ga Flatwoods
I am still kicking.
Ga Flatwoods
- Truckinbutch
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Re: The liar's bench
Give credit where credit is due , Flatwoods . I rag on you enough that you deserve a bit of recognition now and then . It's all still fun , ain't it ?
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
- ga flatwoods
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Re: The liar's bench
Jimbo I ran across another version of your pot still today. This ine slightly more used than yours though.
Ga Flatwoods
Ga Flatwoods
The hardest item to add to a bottle of shine is patience!
I am still kicking.
Ga Flatwoods
I am still kicking.
Ga Flatwoods
- T-Pee
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Re: The liar's bench
Heh. Reminds me of the joke about camo condoms. "Never let them see you coming."ga flatwoods wrote:Hey TP I found this today and thought you might appreciate a change with hunting season almost upon us!
In this case "Never let them see you going."

tp
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- HDNB
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Re: The liar's bench
Killer new avatar there TB, good on ya!
I finally quit drinking for good.
now i drink for evil.
now i drink for evil.
- Truckinbutch
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Re: The liar's bench
Thanks . I owe it all to my monkey loving buddy , Flatwoods (with a bit of help from my favorite son-in-law).HDNB wrote:Killer new avatar there TB, good on ya!
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
- Truckinbutch
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Re: The liar's bench
Wasted! Feds spend millions of tax dollars getting monkeys drunk !
FLATWOODS !!! ......... You got anything to say about this ???! Looks mighty damn suspicious to me . What do the rest of y'all think ?
All I know is what I read in the newspapers (Will Rogers ).
FLATWOODS !!! ......... You got anything to say about this ???! Looks mighty damn suspicious to me . What do the rest of y'all think ?
All I know is what I read in the newspapers (Will Rogers ).
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
- SoMo
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Re: The liar's bench
Ga is behind it all and the gonga gonga too, I think he may have had the monkey kill janitor.
Everything's better home made, everything!!
15.5 keg 7.75keg 2"pot still, Gold CM
Never look down on a man unless it's to help him up.
15.5 keg 7.75keg 2"pot still, Gold CM
Never look down on a man unless it's to help him up.
- T-Pee
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Re: The liar's bench
Feds ain't talented enuff to find an avatar like that. 'Nuff sed.
Speakin' of avatars, that a new one, SoMo? I LIKE it!
tp
Speakin' of avatars, that a new one, SoMo? I LIKE it!
tp
Caution: Steep learning curve ahead!
Handy Links:
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GA Flatwoods sez
Cranky's Spoon Feeding For The New Folk
My "Still Tutorial" CM w/PP mods
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My "Still Tutorial" CM w/PP mods
- Truckinbutch
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Re: The liar's bench
I ain't sayin Flatwoods is a Fed . Just sayin that he might have made a fair amount of money gettin monkeys drunk . Contractors just do what they are asked to do and cash their checks . 

If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
- Bigbob
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Re: The liar's bench
They used to be called mercenarys now their " contractors" 

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- The KYChemist
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Re: The liar's bench
So... The picture ain't the best, but I think you can get the jist of it. Decided to finally play with the web browser, on my Xbox. The HD forum looks awesome on 42"
Whiskey is rays of sunshine, held together with water.
- SoMo
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Re: The liar's bench
Yeah it's a new one, came from a friend of my brother, had t shirts made.T-Pee wrote:Feds ain't talented enuff to find an avatar like that. 'Nuff sed.
Speakin' of avatars, that a new one, SoMo? I LIKE it!
tp
Everything's better home made, everything!!
15.5 keg 7.75keg 2"pot still, Gold CM
Never look down on a man unless it's to help him up.
15.5 keg 7.75keg 2"pot still, Gold CM
Never look down on a man unless it's to help him up.
- Truckinbutch
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Re: The liar's bench
The 'Contractor' designation arrived after my time . All means the same . Ya takes the money and ya takes the chances . Ya live well compensated or ya end up dead doin what ya wanted to do at the time .....Bigbob wrote:They used to be called mercenarys now their " contractors"
Maybie .
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
- Bigbob
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Re: The liar's bench
I've always preferred mercenary... Absolutely no disrespect intended
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- Truckinbutch
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Re: The liar's bench
None taken . I fuck all do not like a world where the liberal community demand that we be so PC . Mercenary/Contractor is the same job description . You are very simply paid to kill threats to the interests your bosses have been hired to protect . No politics , just Benjamin's . Too damned easy to look over your rifle sights at a guy that used to be your buddy on the last contract . He took his chances , too ........... Let's get off this subject , please .Bigbob wrote:I've always preferred mercenary... Absolutely no disrespect intended
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
- Truckinbutch
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Re: The liar's bench
Hey , Flatwoods ! You have been suspiciously quiet on this drunk monkey thing . KNOCK! KNOCK! HELLOOOOO ..................... Anybody home ?
If you ain't the lead dog in the team , the scenery never changes . Ga Flatwoods made my avatar and I want to thank him for that .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
Don't drink water , fish fornicate in it .
- bearriver
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Re: The liar's bench
Truckinbutch wrote:Hey , Flatwoods ! You have been suspiciously quiet on this drunk monkey thing . KNOCK! KNOCK! HELLOOOOO ..................... Anybody home ?
He very well might be nursing a 7.62x39 bullet wound from that scallywag...
- Jimbo
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Re: The liar's bench
Woods is alright, saw him over yonder with his pie hole down in the flint river while holdin a sierra mist up in the air. Damndest shit I ever saw.
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My Bourbon and Single Malt recipes. Apple Stuff and Electric Conversion
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- Red Rim
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Re: The liar's bench
Jimbo,
I saw this and thought of you!
http://teespring.com/lightbeer" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow
I couldn't have said it better myself!
I saw this and thought of you!
http://teespring.com/lightbeer" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow
I couldn't have said it better myself!
There is no such thing as a stupid question....... Unless you didn't research it first.
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- ga flatwoods
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Re: The liar's bench
No longer in the monkey business. Trying to quit smoking this week, leave me be. Also means I don't want a drink for want of a smoke. Tried sex therapy to no avail. SOH wouldn't hang out with me longer than four hours and my best friend Richard ended up with a callous on his head! Pitiful sight for sure! Tried eating as not smoking causes your food to taste better. Ate a lot of lasagna and bread sticks which only served to "back me up!". Tried fishing but it rained and muddied the water. Cutting grass seemed to help but after an hour it was all cut so that didn't last too long. Maybe now would be a good time to buy 200# of grain and run it through my corona hand mill in preparation for another all grain cooking once I get moved into the twenty acres we still trying to get to closing. We are almost there. Should close by the end of this month. More stress. ;Another move after painting. Setting up shop forthcoming. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit. Maybe I need to find something to kill like an armadillo or feral cat! I don't know...,
The hardest item to add to a bottle of shine is patience!
I am still kicking.
Ga Flatwoods
I am still kicking.
Ga Flatwoods