The liar's bench

[Truckinbutch]

Some of you may remember my buddy Brock from earlier posts here . He is real and we have been to the wars together . I called him back to duty in the Novella because I know I can count on his moves when the two of us go into battle . We 'been there/done that'.
>
> Another question : is everyone going to leave 'The Liar's Bench' to spin their tales in the 'Novella'?

[ga flatwoods]

There is nothing in the world I had rather do than move from one house to another!
Ga Flatwoods

[Truckinbutch]

[quote="ga flatwoods"]There is nothing in the world I had rather do than move from one house to another!
Ga Flatwoods[/quote
That qualifies for the biggest lie of the week . Who , in their right mind , likes to move ?

[HDNB]

now why n hell would the bench be vacated?
why just last week me an the boys went out for a little "turkey shoot", course now, they be no turkey round these parts...but from what i can remember some ground squirrels died some gruesome deaths.
it all started out with a few shots of UJ and some .22 rugers. and a little target practice, then the "long shot" champeenship set in...using .22 LR and a spotting scope we were raining hell fire on them little rodents from the far side of the 1/4.
'course round 'bout the second jug the higher power firearms had to come out. Lets face it. what fun are firearms without likker!
.357 mag at 20 paces will literally rip a gopher out of it's own skin!
When the third jug came out... and so did the "rodent-nator" a combination oxy/propane injection system that pumps the gas down into the den and using a time delayed fuse, brings the house down...so to speak. the instructions say not to exceed a 45 second injection.
Lets face it. Time flies when you're having fun, and about five minutes later we realized the gas was still running...being somewhat impaired in our judgement we thought "how bad could it be?" and set the fuse.
if i could get the video camera working, i'd show you the actual footage, but for now...this is as close as i could find on you tube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKOxmXXpHj8" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow

just getting fitted for my hearing aids now.

[HDNB]

btw...still hoping for an original (anonomous) score by some of our more musical friends. (jimbo) nudge, nudge.

[Truckinbutch]

Yebo , and you should see what one of those explosions looks like if you are deep mining and didn't intend for it to happen . Guys you worked with that breathed a high enough concentration of methane prior to the ignition that their chests split open when the gas ignited in their lungs . Mine explosions ain't funny .

[S-Cackalacky]

Been around a few times to polish the bench, but nobody else around. So, I just bought a cupla Hurricanes and went on back to the house. Bunch of the reglars been on a big adventure over in Pagosa Springs, but I'm sure they'll all make their way back when things get resolved. That damned monkey was spotted over that way too. With all the killin' goin' on over there, I was hopin' somebody would squeeze a round off into that hairy little bastard.

[Red Rim]

Stumbled across this today. This is how I thought the novella was headed early on.
http://kicks105.com/hunters-use-tanneri ... ck=fbshare" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow

A little graphic for some, good clean wholesome entertainment for others.

[HDNB]

damn if that didn't make me grin. does that make me a bad person?

we still be missing a line or two from ya RR, if you care to stop by an introduce a character or time line.

[Truckinbutch]

Iiiii , GOD ! Now that lends a whole new direction to dealin with them crooked Feds over to Pagosa Springs . A self destructive terrorist monkey might find play there , too Runnin with this idea might have as much effect as last Tuesday's mid term election

[WooTeck]

that’s me all caught up with the novella. i did particularly enjoy eck and his father on the phone had me chuckling away at work, well done HDNB . The one thing I was thinking was how come you know so much Scottish slang? There were some parts that were a wee bit iffy but I could almost see that conversation going on in Glasgow .

Ill try and add something to it when have a flash of inspiration

Good on the folks that have contributed

eck

[HDNB]

that’s me all caught up with the novella. i did particularly enjoy eck and his father on the phone had me chuckling away at work, well done HDNB . The one thing I was thinking was how come you know so much Scottish slang? There were some parts that were a wee bit iffy but I could almost see that conversation going on in Glasgow .

Ill try and add something to it when have a flash of inspiration

Good on the folks that have contributed

eck

google is my friend. totally fabricated.

i also enjoyed Diana Gabaldon's (American writer) works about 1700's ish Scotland. Gaelic is fascinating. and so is Scotch whisky.

the "quality lip" was tough, couldn't find a direct "gossip" synonym, so i went with "cheeky" instead....i'm betting "skuddy skint" is pretty real though.

[WooTeck]

Hahaha thats funny. I showed my folks and my SOH they were laughing away as well:)

[WooTeck]

Watched that video. All I could think was what a waste of good bacon

[Truckinbutch]

i have been enjoyin the banter here and the way the Novella is progressing . Contemplatin my life to date . 3 days hence will be the 43'rd anniversary of my first marriage. Had 4 kids on the ground and the relationship was on the downslide when I came home one morning from the mine to find her all in a shit and a dither because her Mother was being rushed to the hospital . That old witch had been one of my foremost antagonists so I was a bit less than sympathetic .
"What's wrong ?"
"She has to have emergency surgery for a dropped bladder !"

"I told you there wasn't nothin but pantyhose holdin her guts in . Why did she decide to wash them this late in her life ? "

The conversation went down hill from there ........

[S-Cackalacky]

TB, I got nothin' to say about that.

[Truckinbutch]

TB, I got nothin' to say about that.

I know (LMAO) It was WRONG ,WRONG, WRONG ! .............. Never the less ; that is just exactly how that deal played out . Would ya believe that both them nasty bitches are still alive .

[Odin]

This is my new distilling device ...

Odin.

[ga flatwoods]

Too big for this forum Odin! You know better.

[ShineonCrazyDiamond]

Well it is posted in the liar's bench...I just figured it was a story. Much like that 18 point buck that you got!

[ga flatwoods]

Well it is posted in the liar's bench...I just figured it was a story. Much like that 18 point buck that you got!

I did get a 18 pt. Hey I kilt one the other night by throwing out a Michelob bottle at 75 mph! Done kilt so many sign posts it was almost no challenge. Smacked that doe right up side the head and killed her grave yard dead right there on the shoulder of the road. Simply backed the truck up and loaded her up. Next one I plan to kill off the road will be with a samurai sword!
Ga Flatwoods

[S-Cackalacky]

Flatwoods, that's a pretty popular pastime around where I am. Me and my boy were out on I-66 a couple weeks ago and here's these two ole boys with their pickup pulled off the left shoulder. They out there kneelin' beside a white tail buck guttin' it out with big grins on their faces. Felt a little envious.

Just yesterday I was travelin' out of Winchester, VA on US Rte. 11 and came across this - http://www.nvdaily.com/news/2014/11/fri ... assers-by/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow .

[HDNB]

i think that flux capacitor of odins has blasted ya all the way back to the road kill cafe.

driving down trans Canada through British Columbia late one fall, many moons ago, there was so many deer on the side of the road their eyes looked like highway reflectors on the corners.... for mile after mile. it was one of the oddest sights i have seen.

for all you interstate drivers, the "trans Canada" may sound like a pretty nice road. Though BC it is a two lane, zero shoulder mountain highway with way too much traffic on it. a lot of places it has a 2000' rock wall on one side and a fall to your death (after a few minutes of screaming) on the other. What made the deer's eyes extra eerie was the fact that they don't have reflectors or guard rails on most of the highway.

[Truckinbutch]

i think that flux capacitor of odins has blasted ya all the way back to the road kill cafe.

driving down trans Canada through British Columbia late one fall, many moons ago, there was so many deer on the side of the road their eyes looked like highway reflectors on the corners.... for mile after mile. it was one of the oddest sights i have seen.

for all you interstate drivers, the "trans Canada" may sound like a pretty nice road. Though BC it is a two lane, zero shoulder mountain highway with way too much traffic on it. a lot of places it has a 2000' rock wall on one side and a fall to your death (after a few minutes of screaming) on the other. What made the deer's eyes extra eerie was the fact that they don't have reflectors or guard rails on most of the highway.

Yepper ! And if you don't like the truck you are driving and place little value on your life ; just go ahead and blow your air horn at a moose you see along the highway during breeding season

[moosemilk]

Yepper ! And if you don't like the truck you are driving and place little value on your life ; just go ahead and blow your air horn at a moose you see along the highway during breeding season

Well I don't like being honked at, what can I say? Lol
What's even worse is getting between a cow and her calf....i'd sooner be between a big black bear sow and her cubs.

Anyways, popped in to share an interesting one. Went to my docs today. Got hashimoto's disease (where your immune attacks your thyroid) so I get regular check ups to make sure meds are doin their thing. Well, also noticed a lump on my right nipple. Thyroid Bein low means higher risk for male breast cancer, and breast cancer runs in the family. Turns out it just some inflamed tissue, happens with weight loss. But here's the thing...if you think having a doctor put a finger where the sun don't shine is an uncomfortable experience, try having him play with your nipple! At least you don't gotta look at him when he's doin a probe!

[ga flatwoods]

Moose use your safe word next time before you end up with a lump in your nipple. Instead of a gator clip maybe try hot wax instead. "So I'm tole"!

[moosemilk]

Moose use your safe word next time before you end up with a lump in your nipple. Instead of a gator clip maybe try hot wax instead. "So I'm tole"!

Sure wish i had a safe word for my doctor after that experience

[The KYChemist]

So... I had a huge plan, for opening a very old bottle of Seagram's 7, for my daughters birth. Things got a little crazy, and didn't do it till tonight(2 mos later, with no fanfare). I thought it would be horrible. It was actually pretty smooth. In other news, I ferment in the house. I really think it's helping our Xmas tree. The tree was heavy when we bought it(Indicator of good moisture content), and has been sucking up water like crazy! Plus, I haven't changed changed anything in my fermenting style, and the SOH hasn't complained once about the beer/bread smell. I can't smell it either.

[hamshine]

Moose use your safe word next time before you end up with a lump in your nipple. Instead of a gator clip maybe try hot wax instead. "So I'm tole"!

Sure wish i had a safe word for my doctor after that experience

Just make sure you don't make your safe word no or stop LOL

[HDNB]

didn't know where to post my brag... but absolutely chuffed with my first go at slivovitz. all fruit, wild yeast and 3 months= 3 litres of heaven!

now i have to surreptitiously find some more plum trees for next year! at north of 54* lat, not too many fruit trees around here!

big, shit eatin' grin this stuff is: a) awesome off the spout and b) going to be hard to age.

cheers!