The liar's bench

[Almtngoat]

Well thank you TB, that hits the spot and cuts the dust mighty fine. Now let me tell y'all about this gal I used to live with, a real pretty blond. Well after a few years we had to go our separate ways and she moved out to Cali, Long Beach. Anyway we got to missing each and spent a lot of time talking long distance. We decided that I would go visit her there to see if we could rekindle that fire so off I fly. After a couple days we get the wild idea to head down to Tijuana for some partying so we load up along with a couple of her friends and head out. We planned on getting a room on this side of the border so we find a place and pull in and pay for a room. I go in to check it out and get the AC cranking, the damn room didn't have any electricity so she goes to get the manager to remedy the situation or get our money back. She came back a few minutes later quite pissed, seems the rat bastard had basically called her a whore and refused to give our money back. Now I get involved, now bear in mind I had hair to my waist, dressed n leather, I went banging on the office door to the extent the police get called. We explained the situation and got our money back.
Let me take another pull on that jug, mmm good stuff.
Back the the story, this adventure wasn't over yet. We decided to go ahead across the border anyway and proceed to have a good time. We drink beer and tequila, eat tacos and just stroll around taking all in when one of friends takes off saying he'll meet us back at the car at such a time. We started getting tired so we head back to the crossing and the car, we had parked on this side, and we wait and wait for his sorry ass. Finally we had enough and head back to Long Beach figuring he had shacked up with some Chiquita and could find his own way home. Well a couple days go by before she heard from him. It turned out he got his wallet lifted and had to evade border patrol, climb the fence and hitch a ride back. He's lucky his wallet was all he lost since he was a smallish pretty boy with long hair and eye make up but who's to say...

[The Baker]

I guess I have lived a fairly sheltered life.

Geoff

[kiwi Bruce]

Standing on the second step of the stairway to heaven...I'm reaching back to see if I can get my glass...and deliberately ignoring that annoying neon sign with the arrow, that says "DOWN"

[Almtngoat]

I guess I have lived a fairly sheltered life.

Geoff

Baker there is something that can be said for that not being a bad thing

[Almtngoat]

Standing on the second step of the stairway to heaven...I'm reaching back to see if I can get my glass...and deliberately ignoring that annoying neon sign with the arrow, that says "DOWN"

Bruce I felt like that most of my career, standing on an unbalanced ladder reaching for broken window panes to remove and replace. I wish they had held whiskey.

[Truckinbutch]

Interesting times ,here on 'The Bench' . Brought along another jug of white dog to share . Circumstance has prevented me from making more than I consume to age a drop or two . Family ................
Damn good thing that you can pick your friends . You are stuck with family and greed is a consuming monster if you are a person of poor moral character ....... Like my sister who was the executrix of my father's estate .
We're comfortable in our life , me and SOH . Being so , we ignored my sister's 'creative bookkeeping' that settled my Father's estate grossly in her favor (fraud , had we opted to push the point ).
The estate settlement left us with the 100 acres we live on and free rein to negotiate a water line right of way across a mile of our farm with a gas company to our benefit .
And there lies the rub ....... SOH and I negotiated a deal 2 1/2 x what everyone else settled for and now the whole community wants a piece of this because my sister didn't get a piece of it along with what she stole from my Dad's estate .
Q says 'people are stupid'. They sure are . They want me to join a lawsuit against this gas company because they were poor negotciators .
I don't think so , Skippy ! We got ours for us . Never took nunya to raise ..........
Rant off . Who's got a good yarn to spin .

[fizzix]

They'll spend 3x to get their 2.5x

Sorry to hear of the greedy sister. The older I get, the more Red Sea split of surviving families over estate negotiations I see.
My folks are still kicking, but when my dad was divvying up his extensive camping equipment my brother and I promised each other not to be greedy.
It got silly with one insisting the other take this item or that item, but man was it civil and we stuck to our oaths.
It's just junk heading to the junkyard after all.

[Truckinbutch]

They'll spend 3x to get their 2.5x

Sorry to hear of the greedy sister. The older I get, the more Red Sea split of surviving families over estate negotiations I see.
My folks are still kicking, but when my dad was divvying up his extensive camping equipment my brother and I promised each other not to be greedy.
It got silly with one insisting the other take this item or that item, but man was it civil and we stuck to our oaths.
It's just junk heading to the junkyard after all.

That's the way it should be . That's the way my kids are and SOH and her brother are .
Lawyers hate that kind of behavior in people .

[StillLearning1]

What's going on fellers!? Boy It's been a while since I had a seat on this bench! I got some time to kill while my sweetfeed bubbles. Y'all know walmart has mana pro C.O.B? I didnt, almost had a cleanup on isle 9 when I saw it there.

Anyways what have I missed? Y'all making anything worth sipping on over here? I see some new faces and plenty old ones. Just happy to be back in the saddle.

Oh yea I have a little helper this time around. Stayed by my side every step of the way helping daddy stir his "seefed". And we go check the airlock every day to see the bubbles. Super fun. Man I hope he can carry the torch one day. And I even more so hope the legal climate changes so he can be loud and proud about it.

Ima hang out over here under this shade tree for a bit. I got some fine burly in my cob that I'll be puffing on. Just listening and maybe trying to learn a thing or two.

[Truckinbutch]

Park yourself and sit a spell . Them younguns are rewarding . Got a grandson doin his senior year in high school . He's planning on going military out of high school .
He's picking my brain every week on the proper way to carry on our hobby .
His take is that he will serve with few people that can honestly say ,'My Grandpa is a shiner .'
And if push comes to shove in a remote location he can make them some drinkable hootch .
Puts him ahead of the kid standing beside him that is nothing but 2 thumbs on his keyboard .

[StillLearning1]

I'm trying my best to raise the boy the "right" way. He is still very young and his little brother is even younger. I figure no point in waiting, may as well start now. Lord willing I can save a jar of this drop for...oh 20 years or so to share with him when the time is right. Would be pretty awesome to tell him that he helped make it while still in pampers.

Congrats on the grandson doing well and going into the military. I still have mixed feelings/regrets about not going in when I was 18. That would have been in '05, things were pretty hot at that time. Uncle Sam Gave almost all my classmates the same mission, sniper. I guess quite a few of us had spent a lifetime hunting and fit the bill for that pretty good. Some of them came back not quite so "ok" anymore. Like I said, I still have regrets for not fighting beside them. I guess I'll never know how it would have went for me.

[Blarney Stoned]

Y'all know walmart has mana pro C.O.B? I didnt, almost had a cleanup on isle 9 when I saw it there.

Thank you for the heads up, Sir. Been out of stock online for a coons age. Google sez our store has it in stock. Free pick up.

[StillLearning1]

Y'all know walmart has mana pro C.O.B? I didnt, almost had a cleanup on isle 9 when I saw it there.

Thank you for the heads up, Sir. Been out of stock online for a coons age. Google sez our store has it in stock. Free pick up.

There was one lonly bag at my local, I'm curious if or when they re stock it.

[Almtngoat]

Jeez I need a good pull off that jug. I totally understand why you veterans get fed up with noob questions, the same ones over and over and over again when the answer is on just about every page of the thread. Here's to you guys that persevere and answer, cheers. I don't see how some of those folks made it out of grade school and then want to distilling like a pro with a penny still. What bugs me more is the folks that spend many thousands of dollars on fancy rigs then wonder why they can't make whiskey as well as an old timer pot and thumper rig. The SF thread is the best example, I am about 2/3 of the way through it and could answer 98% of the questions. I don't need to ask if my recipe will work because I have done the research before hand.
Now rant over some good news. My disability hearing has been set for early December and it from the back pay that I will be able to set up my complete shop. I can barely wait, feel like a kid waiting for Christmas! I will be driving into SF first but mixing my own 20 20 20 20 10 mix, corn oats barley wheat molasses, instead of searching for the right horse feed. This really isn't rocket science if you do at least some research and add some goat sense. I hope I can get everything going right in time to make it to S319 with something good to offer besides my grilling expertise. In fact I will throw down the BBQ gauntlet, my specialty is is pork ribs, baby backs.
I'LL take another slug then wobble on home. Y'all have a good night.

[Truckinbutch]

Hope that the hearing goes well . They are always a crap shoot .
People like you that actually read and research the hobby are an anathema to the 'I deserve it now !' generation .
You will likely get answers to questions you have from folks that rarely post any more . Paying your dues by doing your own research pays dividends .
Have another pull and stumble off to bed like the rest of us do ........

[Truckinbutch]

Hope that child made it home ok ....
Ending another great day in my part of the world .
How's life for the rest of you ?

[Almtngoat]

Dang quiet here at the bench for a Saturday so I will just kick back and enjoy the fire I built and sip on the jug TB left. I am a novice at stilling but I am tried and true pro at sitting around a campfire sipping and telling tall tales.
Okay here's a true story. A buddy of mine has a 120 yr old cabin on the north east side of Yosemite. There is an almost 13000 ft peak
, Mt Dunderburg, next to it so my buddy and I, both accomplished climbers, took it on. The ascent was not hard just a long ankle wearing scramble up endless talus. We made the summit and enjoyed a beer while taking in the spectacular view of the Yosemite high country. The descent is where the fun or fear happened. We decided on a short cut over the miles of talas, a long couloir of snow. We put on the water proof gear, crampons and unlimbered the ice axes. So we headed down, after about 100 yrds we decided to slide and use our axes as a brake. It went well for my buddy, mine didn't go so well. I was scooting along till I accidentally dropped a foot and my crampons bit and I went upended with talas waiting for me. I was doing 10 ft somersaults till I got a grab with my ax. I slowed to a stop about 30 ft above the rocks. I absolutely love the mountains, thus my moniker.

[Truckinbutch]

You folks that do climbing feats amaze me in your craft , dedication , and daring . Blowing a rear tire on my Harley at 85 mph and riding it to a stand up stop ...... Driving a 7 axle 120 k lb 15.5' x 100' long rig Baltimore to San Fran are more within my realm of foolish things to do that might get you killed .

[shadylane]

When I got up this morning my farmall tractor was gone
Thank god, farm tractors are easy to track, For some reason the tractor was being driven backwards
When I finally found it, the old farmall was still running and backed into a tree.
That's when I realized it hadn't been stolen, It was just the piston return springs unwinding

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFX_Xq9WHTI" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow

[fizzix]

When I got up this morning my farmall tractor was gone
Thank god, farm tractors are easy to track, For some reason the tractor was being driven backwards
When I finally found it, the old farmall was still running and backed into a tree.
That's when I realized it hadn't been stolen, It was just the piston return springs unwinding

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFX_Xq9WHTI" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow

I'm about due to change those. Just had the pneumatic dome light grease valves replaced at 100k miles.
Oh well. It's only money

[thecroweater]

When I got up this morning my farmall tractor was gone
Thank god, farm tractors are easy to track, For some reason the tractor was being driven backwards
When I finally found it, the old farmall was still running and backed into a tree.
That's when I realized it hadn't been stolen, It was just the piston return springs unwinding

Return springs eh , sounds like ya got one of em black powder motors they developed for them IH mowlines rare as gold fillings in hens teeth. Outa interest did ya know before they released the farmall H they had a G model in the pipeline, had return springs both sides a the piston and the dang thing didn't need no fuel push start it and ya don't never need to stop it. Big oil bought the patent before production started, done the same darn thing with the McCormick drinkingbird motor, dern you texaco
shadylanemonikabecomingclearernow

[shadylane]

Bubba used to modify old tractors for better fuel consumption until his barn burned down.
First he raised the compression ratio, that gained almost 50% better mileage.
Then he used a secret style carb that gained another 40%
When he changed the camshaft it gained 25% more.
His undoing was when he sealed the gas tank to keep it from over flowing.

[shadylane]

Bubba makes some of the nastiest tasting moonshine I ever drunk.
The other day I stopped by to visit and he pulled a pistol out and made me take a really big swallow.
Once I got my breath back, I said "Lord have mercy, I'd almost rather be shot than take another drink"
That's when he cocked the pistol and snatched the bottle away from me.
I felt alot better when Bubba handed me the pistol and said "now it's my turn, hold the gun on me and make me drink"

[Kareltje]

When I got up this morning my farmall tractor was gone
Thank god, farm tractors are easy to track, For some reason the tractor was being driven backwards
When I finally found it, the old farmall was still running and backed into a tree.
That's when I realized it hadn't been stolen, It was just the piston return springs unwinding

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFX_Xq9WHTI" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;" rel="nofollow

After "return springs unwinding" I was thinking like this:

61653-4_1.jpg (13.68 KiB) Viewed 3469 times

[Almtngoat]

Now I know why my Papa and uncles were always telling me to stand on the break lock when I was driving that ole tractor and we stopped for a load. They put me in the driver's seat at about 5-6 yrs old as I zig zagged the pastures while they shoveled manure into the trailer and then unloading into the corn, cotton and bean fields. Those are good memories though I came late to my GP's farm the memories and experience will last forever. The chiggers and ticks blackberry picking, the rattlers and copperheads squirrel and rabbit hunting, the moccasins while fishing. They snakes tasted pretty good, the chiggers and ticks not so much.
We were dove hunting once and the birds weren't flying so a couple of us teens headed into the woods to find some squirrels. We were stalking along this crick and a I saw movement a couple feet from my teen crush's leg. It took me less than a second to recognize and fire. They were yelling about how careless I was till I picked up the head and pointed out the body of a six foot moccasin. They shut up but did I get any thanks for saving the gal from a bite, nope. I was raised in the woods and will take that shot every time. Anyway I got my limit of birds, a couple of squirrels an a snake on a box of shells.
Pass me that jug, please and thank you all for everything I have learned from many weeks of just reading. I know I have the technical part absorbed it's just a matter of getting the gear together. I know I have a bunch of mashing and stilling to do to get ahead of my thirst, lol. My shop is taking shape thanks to all of you.

[Almtngoat]

You folks that do climbing feats amaze me in your craft , dedication , and daring . Blowing a rear tire on my Harley at 85 mph and riding it to a stand up stop ...... Driving a 7 axle 120 k lb 15.5' x 100' long rig Baltimore to San Fran are more within my realm of foolish things to do that might get you killed .

TB climbing was a large part of my life for many years I have spent so many hours around a campfire that I know.

[kiwi Bruce]

Is it just me ? is it...I'm getting old and senile ? have any of you found a really good stash of something special and had no recollection of how or why you hide it ? I'm putting this on the bench, only because I have no other ideas as to where to ask this. I know I can do some stupid shi# when I drink but this is too much...I was looking for some "two part" and there stashed with the glue is 1/2 gal of single malt, still on the wood, from who knows when...it's so dark it's like a dark black rum and the smell is amazing, I've looked at my notes, no idea...
DID I JUST FIND ONE OF THE PLACES WHERE THE ANGELS STASH THEIR SHARE ?
I'll let you know tomorrow if I can still walk...

[kiwi Bruce]

I could weep...I have tried for the last decade to make a single malt that came close to a drop from one of the distilleries from Islay, and now I have one and don't know how I got it

[HDNB]

I could weep...I have tried for the last decade to make a single malt that came close to a drop from one of the distilleries from Islay, and now I have one and don't know how I got it

mebbe ya poured a bottle of macallan into a jar so you could use the bottle for taking shine over to a friends place without lookin' like a bootlegger.

[Truckinbutch]

We'll weep together for different and similar reasons .
Have a drop of this aged AG white dog .
Been a summer of bittersweet times .Last being Pint being busted .... That sure sucks . My local stillin buddies been down because the economy is up . SRD and Coalminer workin so many hours that they got no time for stillin .
I hobbled around with a broke foot for a couple of months and got healed enough to go fishin in LA for a few days .
Evening we got there I fell and tore up my right shoulder .Bad AC tear and dislocation . Dr says I'm not a candidate for surgical correction . Need therapy on my $ . HO HUM ......zzzzzz I've heard this shit before , many times .
He like to have shit when I told him that this happened a week before I came to see him , 1,100 miles away , and I was on the boat at 6 AM the next morning for 10 hours of fishin . And the next 2 days as well ........ Had one hell of a time with a great fishing guide/boat Captain and headed north with over 40# of redfish and speckled sea trout fillets in our coolers .
Anyhow ; HDNB I learned that segue from my friend Arkansas Tom ; 3 weeks before I went fishin the gas company runnin the water line through my place mentioned that they needed to renegotiate on account of their engineers figgured out that they needed to put a booster pump and a new access road to it on my place .
Tole them to shit or get off the pot on account of I was goin fishin .
So Wednesday evening after the first day of great fishing with a tore up shoulder SOH calls me . Gas company is frantic to cut this new deal and I got to call them right away !
Well , I'm on vacation with my son , grandson , and his Daddy . Trip of a life time that may never be duplicated .
I tole her that I would be home late Saturday night and they'd done been tole .
They begged to visit on Sunday to cut a new deal . And we did ......... In our favor . And now the whole community is so green with envy that I don't have no stillin equipment around , neither .
Gonna be some 'jar store' times for us hillbillies for some time to come .