Funny sayings

[Tal]

Something within this forum reminded me of the sayings my mum used to say which made sense but really didn't...maybe there are some you guys/gals know ...I can start with a strange one. When you're in trouble with Mum or Dad cos you havn't done your chores, you might say "Well, I want a new bike!", they would say "You'll get a new bloody bike in a minute young man!, now do your chores!!"...hullo? whats that mean?

[InglisHill]

You drive me up the wall...........

I always wondered about that one, a) I was too young to drive, b) how would we get the car into the house?, c) error, gravity, kinda.

[Tal]

"watch ya head!"......Huh?

[SoMo]

Duck!! Or heads up when you should cover your head.

[S-Cackalacky]

Something within this forum reminded me of the sayings my mum used to say which made sense but really didn't...maybe there are some you guys/gals know ...I can start with a strange one. When you're in trouble with Mum or Dad cos you havn't done your chores, you might say "Well, I want a new bike!", they would say "You'll get a new bloody bike in a minute young man!, now do your chores!!"...hullo? whats that mean?

That new bike turned into a parental euphemism for "ass whuppin'".

[S-Cackalacky]

Two of my Dad's favorites were, "I'll yank a knot in your butt." and "I'll snatch you bald headed.". Didn't want to tempt fate and ask what he meant by those things. Although, I think he DID manage to snatch me bald headed.

[IrishEnigma]

One I hear is "he's crazier than a shit house rat"

Honestly where in the hell did a crazy rat live in a shit house? And just how crazy was the rat?

[Bushman]

When someone says "that tastes like shit", my question is how do they know?

[T-Pee]

Your mother calling you a "little son of a bitch".

Never had the guts to ask about that one.

tp

[SoMo]

My grandma used to see we were acting like heathens, wilder than a damn ubangee.

[Tal]

"Got as drunk as a pig!"...or..."Pissed as an owl"

[Tal]

And similar to yours Irish Enigma.. "As cunning as a shithouse rat!"...does this mean you can hear it in there but you can never see it when you open the door?.. dunno...

[ga flatwoods]

A shit house rat has to be mean to survive. Once hemmed up in a shit house, where else he gonna go with only two choices? First choice is through and past you and the other is a portal to hell. So, he makes a show and dies and honorable rat death if he doesnt get by and still ends up in a portal to hell. What else he gonna do? Just give up and get clubbed? No! That would make him crazier than a shit house rat, not meaner than one.
Ga Flatwoods

[Tal]

unless he was cunning enough to stow himself above you under the roofing iron and when you looked up and saw him...youd'e shit!

[StillLearning1]

When my dad gets a new gadget he will say "that things a dick with ears! " still no clue what that means.

[MitchyBourbon]

My ma had a sayin, she always said it whenever I gave her any back talk. She'd say "You know the pill came out in 63". I took me a few years but I'm pretty sure I know what she meant.

[Truckinbutch]

I used to run out of reach of the ass whoopin my Granny was prepared to give me . When she caught her breath she would give me an evil grin and say , "That's allright ; bread will catch ya "............
Some time in the evening you got to go in to eat and that ass whoopin is still waiting on you

[Tal]

enjoying this..some of these iv'e never heard...different country...different sayings
"wait till your father gets home!"
"Oh my giddy aunt!"
"Running like a robbers dog"
"Sweating like a rapist!"
"Mean as catshit"

[Truckinbutch]

Sweatin and shiverin like a dog shittin razor blades .
Feelin as cranky as a stepped on baby .

'No , thanks . I just had a bar of soap and I wouldn't want to spoil the taste .'

[googe]

When my grandad seen a large sized woman in the street one day, he said, will take a cut lunch to get around her, cracked me up so bad!

[Tal]

that reminds me Googe...when you see a fat arse wobbling along in tight jeans...."Two pigs in a sack!"

[ga flatwoods]

Something that tastes really bad is "worse than a dose of Crotin oil."
Don't let the screen door hit ya where the good Lord split ya !
(Something)....harder than a dog trying to shit a peach seed.

[Windy City]

I worked with my grandfather since I was a young kid as a plumber. Anytime we were installing or repairing something that was of poor design and it was giving us problems due to that, he would growl and say. "The guy that designed this should make one more and drop dead". I never understood this as I figured we would get stuck working on that one too

Windy City

[T-Pee]

My auntie was loathe to swear but when she really got annoyed it was "Son of a sea-going basketball eating athletes!"

tp

[bearriver]

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. (Said in TP one liner fashion)

br

[heartcut]

Difficulty:
Like trying to shove butter up a cat's backside with an ice pick.
(So Cal Instrument Specialist)

Indecision:
Don't know whether to shit or go blind.
(Old Idaho guitar player)

Attraction:
I'd let her piss in my face just to see where it came from.
(West Va Electrician)

Disorder:
Like 14 monkeys trying to mount the same football.
(Kiwi Electrician)

[Rng4]

As worthless as mammary glands on a boar hog

[T-Pee]

I see a common vein there heartcut.

tp (electrician too...no surprise)

[S-Cackalacky]

Cold as a witch's tit.
Cold as a well digger's ass, or cold as a well digger's lunch.
Hotter than a three peckered goat.
Hotter than a dog in heat.
Slicker than owl shit.
Slicker than snot on a hot stove.
Went through me like a dose of salts.

Must have heard my Dad say those things a bahzillion times.

[Red Rim]

Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.