Its a known fact

Post by **pfshine** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 5:27 pm

Its a known fact that a beard is a natural bear repellant and increases your wood chopping ability 10 fold. Who else loves their beard and has facts about them.

Post by **Truckinbutch** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 5:48 pm

If I don't keep mine trimmed up it can start eating and drinking more than I get .

Post by **pfshine** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 6:05 pm

I ate a cheato once 6 years ago and thanks to my beard i licked my lips and my tongue touched my beard and my mouth was filled with cheatoie goodness.

Post by **Truckinbutch** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 6:29 pm

You oughta carry this topic over to 'The Liar's Bench' if ya really wanna hear some stories about what a beard can do . Think you'd be welcome there

Post by **pfshine** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 6:46 pm

I thought about posting there butt did not to dirty the bench.

Post by **Truckinbutch** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 7:04 pm

pfshine wrote:I thought about posting there butt did not to dirty the bench.

Why , HELL , friend ! 'Slong as ya bring yer own bottle the first time and got a good story or 3 to share there's lots a room on the bench . Only way you're gonna get to be a pro is by hangin out with pros ; same as it is all over the rest of this site

jollyroger · Post by **jollyroger** » Mon Sep 02, 2013 10:47 pm

Truckinbutch wrote:
pfshine wrote:I thought about posting there butt did not to dirty the bench.
Why , HELL , friend ! 'Slong as ya bring yer own bottle the first time and got a good story or 3 to share there's lots a room on the bench . Only way you're gonna get to be a pro is by hangin out with pros ; same as it is all over the rest of this site

+1000

rumplestiltskin · Post by **rumplestiltskin** » Wed Sep 04, 2013 10:57 am

My beard was so long and thick it had its own maul and flannel shirt, with a pack of smokes in the pocket.

If you don't post this to the Liars Bench I'll wear my computer out going back and forth.

rumplestiltskin · Post by **rumplestiltskin** » Tue Sep 10, 2013 5:30 pm

Damn it...pass the jug. Its a known fact that i need a swig.

Post by **pfshine** » Tue Sep 10, 2013 6:18 pm

I know danger is around when my beard tingles

MitchyBourbon · Post by **MitchyBourbon** » Tue Sep 10, 2013 9:19 pm

I'm a software engineer, my beard makes me at least a whisker better than any other software engineer I work with. It's a fact... accept it.

frozenthunderbolt · Post by **frozenthunderbolt** » Tue Sep 10, 2013 10:16 pm

My chin hairs are so sharp they're used as tattoo needles.

Post by **midwest shinner** » Tue Sep 10, 2013 11:43 pm

My beard is so dense that Neo got lost in its matrix. Yeah its an old reference, so what, want to fight about it?

Post by **midwest shinner** » Tue Sep 10, 2013 11:46 pm

In case you didn't catch that it was a Matrix and Family Guy reference in one

rumplestiltskin · Post by **rumplestiltskin** » Wed Sep 11, 2013 12:27 am

midwest shinner wrote:My beard is so dense that Neo got lost in its matrix. Yeah its an old reference, so what, want to fight about it?

Nah

Post by **S-Cackalacky** » Wed Sep 11, 2013 4:44 am

I tried to shave my beard off once. It grabbed onto my face so hard it hurt. It wouldn't let go til I laid down the razor and backed away from the mirror. I apologized and now we have a solid relationship.

Just sayin',
S-C

rumplestiltskin · Post by **rumplestiltskin** » Wed Sep 11, 2013 5:23 am

My beard is so mean it makes me wear my skin on the outside. LOL

ga flatwoods · Post by **ga flatwoods** » Wed Sep 11, 2013 7:57 am

Liars all of ya! Beards are to cover up man ugly!
GA Flatwoods

Post by **Odin** » Wed Sep 11, 2013 8:00 am

I like my beard.

Then I found out my wife hates my beard.

Now I like my beard even better!

Odin.

Black Eye · Post by **Black Eye** » Wed Sep 11, 2013 4:02 pm

I had to trim down my beard a bit due to my wifey's fear that it's increasing manly prowess would impregnate her with just a glance.

Post by **Smokehouse Shiner** » Wed Sep 11, 2013 4:22 pm

Yea boys my beards a little on the wiry side. Dont notice it much anymore as ive got some pretty thick calluses on my hand from strokin it while deep in thought. Did have a little run in with the law a few years back. Them bastards arrested my beard for assault after my ex had to get 17 stiches in her inner thigh.

rumplestiltskin · Post by **rumplestiltskin** » Wed Sep 11, 2013 6:56 pm

Stop it!! Stop it..... My beard is wanting to kick all yalls beards asses, and i dont feel like traveling.

rumplestiltskin · Post by **rumplestiltskin** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 4:18 am

Smokehouse Shiner wrote:Yea boys my beards a little on the wiry side. Dont notice it much anymore as ive got some pretty thick calluses on my hand from strokin it while deep in thought. Did have a little run in with the law a few years back. Them bastards arrested my beard for assault after my ex had to get 17 stiches in her inner thigh.

What was going on there. Did she have you in the scissor lock trying to choke you out. Ha!!

rumbuff · Post by **rumbuff** » Fri Sep 13, 2013 5:07 pm

Smokehouse Shiner wrote:Yea boys my beards a little on the wiry side. Dont notice it much anymore as ive got some pretty thick calluses on my hand from strokin it while deep in thought. Did have a little run in with the law a few years back. Them bastards arrested my beard for assault after my ex had to get 17 stiches in her inner thigh.

Almost spit my beer on my computer!

Post by **Windy City** » Sat Sep 14, 2013 11:31 am

Ok I don't have a beard but my 5 o'clock shadow once caused an eclipse

Windy City

Post by **Smokehouse Shiner** » Sat Sep 14, 2013 2:32 pm

Nah Rumple it turned out alright. Jury aquitted my beard of all charges. They determined it was self defense after they found out about the twelve stitches i got in my nose. Turns out my ex had some pretty wiry hair too....

rumplestiltskin · Post by **rumplestiltskin** » Sun Sep 15, 2013 7:56 am

Smokehouse Shiner wrote:Nah Rumple it turned out alright. Jury aquitted my beard of all charges. They determined it was self defense after they found out about the twelve stitches i got in my nose. Turns out my ex had some pretty wiry hair too....

Like TB says...sheeeeit, im not going to touch that one. Ha!!

Post by **Prairiepiss** » Sun Sep 15, 2013 9:37 am

It's a known fact that if I walk into a bar. Every woman in that bar will instantly want to braid my beard. My wife has gotten so use to it. She just gives me a thumb up now. The record is 5 times in one night. But that was 3 different bars. The record for one bar is 3 times in one night. In the same bar.

It also once saved someone's life. She was falling off her tall bar stool. And the only thing available to grab was my braided beard. (that she just braided) It kept her from falling to her death. And it pulled her back up to her drinking position.

My beard also likes feeling the wind while riding my bike. If I put my windshield on. It will attack me. Trying to poke my eyes out. And covering my site to make me crash. It's so bad I have to restrain it.

Post by **Odin** » Sun Sep 15, 2013 11:42 am

Mr. P, are you not affraid your beard will sway back and get stuck between the back wheel of your bike?

Odin.

Post by **pfshine** » Sun Sep 15, 2013 12:14 pm

His beard would undoubtedly rip the tire to shreds if not the whole bike.

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