Funny sayings

Post by **Teddysad** » Fri Jul 18, 2014 9:48 pm

She's got a face like a twisted gym shoe

He's as thick as two short planks

heynonny · Post by **heynonny** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 8:07 am

Tighter than a bulls ass in fly season
Tighter than a frogs pussy, & thats waterproof
Colder than a well-diggers ass

Post by **shinendine** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 12:31 pm

Concerning the word shit.

Like stuffing 10 gallons of shit into a 5 gallon bucket...
That looks like hammered shit.
I wouldn't shitcha, you're my favorite turd.
Shit rolls uphill.

Tal · Post by **Tal** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 1:32 pm

"Shit-a-brick!" (exclamation)
"Shit head!"
"Hey....Shit-for-brains"
"Your'e shittin me aren't ya?"

Post by **moosemilk** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 2:03 pm

Close only counts with horeshies, hand grenades, and shit fights.

Friend that passed found the latter. Him and his brother (farm boys) in the yard one day. One picks up a frozen turd and throws it at the other. Goes on back n forth for awhile. Then one of them went in and stuck a turd in the microwave thawing it. That thrown turd ended the fight.

Post by **Teddysad** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 2:50 pm

And in Airline parlance why do they call it a near miss

I believe it should be called a near hit

InglisHill · Post by **InglisHill** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 4:19 pm

Road Works Signs,

If it works why the fuck are they fixing it?

Tokoroa_Shiner · Post by **Tokoroa_Shiner** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 6:35 pm

Caution: Men at Work.
I have driven past a lot of these signs. And not once have I seen anyone working. Either no one there or all sitting around on the outside of the machines. Haha

InglisHill · Post by **InglisHill** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 6:42 pm

Or, Road Works 2Km.

Well, what happens after that?

Post by **Truckinbutch** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 7:09 pm

Tokoroa_Shiner wrote:Caution: Men at Work.
I have driven past a lot of these signs. And not once have I seen anyone working. Either no one there or all sitting around on the outside of the machines. Haha

Standard joke here is that the pockets on the shirts of dept. of highways workers are sewn on upside down so they don't have to hold their shovels to lean on them .

InglisHill · Post by **InglisHill** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 7:10 pm

Lol. That was funny.

Tokoroa_Shiner · Post by **Tokoroa_Shiner** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 7:11 pm

Haha. Yeah that sounds about right. Although they don't even make the effort to stand. Usually sitting or laying in the grass. Haha

Tal · Post by **Tal** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 8:43 pm

I like the one that says" Slow men working" and the way they put their signs for speed restrictions real close to the job....have you ever come around a blind corner in a laden log truck at 90km and been confronted with a sign that says "30",,,"Road Works"...gets interesting very quickly!...I know this isn't a "Funny Saying" as the thread suggests...but hey!..it's my thread, it's ok!

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