Jokes

[goinbroke2]

You and me too brother!

[Hügelwilli]

used to like the jokes here _ not so much anymore

OVZ

The problem is not the jokes but more the back patting and territory marking, what is the real intention posting jokes and other off-topic often.
The one thing is a funny picture about vaccination, the other thing is to applause for the anti-covid-vaccination statement of the joke. The first one is a joke the second one is a political statement.
Or the joke about Biden a few weeks ago: The joke was a joke and the member got a timeout. Those who pointed at him making a political joke but in the same post applauding the statement of the joke, got nothing. So a joke about Biden was a problem, a statement against him wasn't.

[heynonny]

[Windswept]

[Zeotropic]

I was reading through the "You might be a stiller if...." thread and my wife asked how long it was so i said I think it started in 2009 or something and she said "You mean I am going to have to hear those corney [emoji535] jokes for days?" [emoji1787]

[Tater]

And then there is this:
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.
At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.
But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.

[Bushman]

[goinbroke2]

Not to brag but, this is like the 5th “end of the world” I’ve been through.....

[goinbroke2]

Technically, everything you’ve ever eaten was just flushed down the toilet.

[Kareltje]

Indeed:

[Windy City]

[goinbroke2]

Indeed:

Bwahaha, that was awesome!
Now I gotta dig the fiddle out and see if I can do it.

Next times friends are over to jam, I know what I’ll introduce! Lol!!!

[acfixer69]

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty Anthony’s roommate is. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than meets the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, Anthony volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.”


About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

“Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.” So he sat down and wrote an email:



Dear Mama,
I’m not saying that you “did” take the sugar bowl from my house; I’m not saying that you “did not” take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Your Loving Son,
Anthony


A few days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:


Dear Son,
I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Maria, and I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Your Loving Mama


Moral:
Never Bulla Shita your Mama

[Windy City]

Hey AC
That could have been either of my Grandmothers or as we say Nanni’s
That was awesome

[Bushman]

[Kareltje]

Funny.
There is a thing in Dutch about the superfluous space between parts of words: in Dutch words like "hondenriem" (dog collar) should be spelled as one word, in English they are spelled as separate words. These extra space is called "English space".
In this joke the mistake is made the other way around! Nice.

[HDNB]

In the big city here, I met the mother of this years new years babies. In a rare turn of events, the identical twins were born just after midnight on the 1st.
She introduced me to her sons, Juan and Amal. They were the cutest little fellas!
I had to ask her though, how did you come up with their names? They are not very common handles, here in Canada.
She smiled and said "It was easy....once you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

[Truckinbutch]

In the big city here, I met the mother of this years new years babies. In a rare turn of events, the identical twins were born just after midnight on the 1st.
She introduced me to her sons, Juan and Amal. They were the cutest little fellas!
I had to ask her though, how did you come up with their names? They are not very common handles, here in Canada.
She smiled and said "It was easy....once you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

I guess you can see yourself out .

[The Baker]

You probably heard this...

Mario's sister had twins, a boy and a girl.
Mary said, 'What do you call the girl?'
Denise.
And what do you call the boy?
Da nephew.

Geoff

[Magic]

You probably heard this...

Mario's sister had twins, a boy and a girl.
Mary said, 'What do you call the girl?'
Denise.
And what do you call the boy?
Da nephew.

Geoff

wasn't that a Justin Wilson joke? still a funny joke no doubt

[Bushman]

Like the saying goes....

[Setsumi]

Funny.
There is a thing in Dutch about the superfluous space between parts of words: in Dutch words like "hondenriem" (dog collar) should be spelled as one word, in English they are spelled as separate words. These extra space is called "English space".
In this joke the mistake is made the other way around! Nice.

ja, in my language we also write everything as one word. Afrikaans. my grandpa only had a Dutch bible. but when he wrote a letter, private or formal it was always in English.

[Bushman]

[DSmith78]

942655C4-143A-45A7-A8DA-C72E86143409.jpeg

[Bushman]

It runs on natural gas!

[stillanoob]

So in Australia that would be dunny buggy? Perhaps our down under friends could elucidate.

[contrahead]

[Tater]

It runs on natural gas!
A034E3AB-B96B-4CC1-9529-E6CED68523EF.jpeg

Recken that might be a Rad mobile

[HDNB]

It runs on natural gas!
A034E3AB-B96B-4CC1-9529-E6CED68523EF.jpeg

man, that thing would be awesome as a golf cart!

[Deplorable]

It runs on natural gas!
A034E3AB-B96B-4CC1-9529-E6CED68523EF.jpeg

man, that thing would be awesome as a golf cart!

Probably runs like shit.