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maoule wrote:2(x/2)=x (length of string)
Did I win?!!!
That is correct 4way. and not only is your interpretation correct, but the original answer is 100% mathematically correct for any length of string. However, that can be reduced to X=X or even more to 1=1 or even more to simply 1. So the length of any string is 1 (it's length is the unit). However, each string has a different unit of measure, so even though it is correctly stated, it is fundamentally useless in practice, just like the "what does yeast need to live?" question.Fourway wrote:maoule wrote:2(x/2)=x (length of string)
Did I win?!!!
I well and truly sucked at algebra... and as I suspected back when I tried to learn it and gave up... I never did turn out to need it. (until now)
Does that translate as: "the length of a piece of string is twice it's length divided by two"?
[ /quote] 
Except that it will refuse to grow at all unless you have at least six 50# sacks of corn that live on and around the facilities of a major metropolitan public transit system, carry all of their possessions in a carefully constructed rickshaw made of broken baby strollers and plastic shopping bags and consume a steady diet of wild irish rose, spiders, cockroaches and soup line gruel.big worm wrote:yeast from the folds of the fat homless people is pretty hearty stuff. less than 100mg will convert a 50# sack of corn into 35# of smegma....oh lord what have i started? but i did find out what yeast eat, thanks doc
You can get quite a bit of corn out of poop too.Dnderhead wrote:You can git quite a bit of corn if you beat the pigeons to it. but a little had sweeping it up off the sidewalk.
goose eye wrote:toward the end the artillery would feed there horses first then the troops would sift there manure for there food.
goes off in their head and they have that "Eureka" moment where they go from just theory to a real understanding of the subject. Once that point is reached then you're not a newbie any more. You may still need to ask questions but you know what questions to ask and how to ask them, what pertinent info is needed to answer the question and also that the answer you get may not be the one you want.you asking me to go????Husker wrote: and many hang around and grow into productive forum members.
H.
INTRO
I. What is this?
This guide is designed to give you a better understanding of what a noob is, how to recognize them, some details about them, and how to avoid or get rid of them. It mostly applies to online forums, which are the main targets of migrating noobs.
II. Defining 'Noob'
Contrary to the belief of many, a noob/n00b and a newbie/newb are not the same thing. Newbs are those who are new to some task* and are very beginner at it, possibly a little overconfident about it, but they are willing to learn and fix their errors to move out of that stage. Noobs, on the other hand, know little and have no will to learn any more. They expect people to do the work for them and then expect to get praised about it, and make up a unique species of their own. It is the latter we will study in this guide so that the reader is prepared to encounter them in the wild if needed.
Noobs are often referred to as n00bs as a sign of disrespect toward them, and it's often hella funny, but I will refer to them as noobs during this reading.
* Usually the topic at hand on an internet forum.
Top
B. COMMON NOOB CHARACTERISTICS
I. Noobish
Often, but not always, noobs will attempt to communicate in their own primitive language, known as noobish. It is a variant of the hacker language that exposes them as having little intelligence or will to learn. Here is an example of some noobish. Do not attempt to comprehend it: it cannot be discerned without professionals at hand.
stFU //an, i r teh r00rz liek emin3m, u cna go tO EHLL OR ATLE4St help m3 wit hthIS!!111!!!!!!!1~~1!!``!! LOLLOLOLLOLOLlOoLLOlollLLl u n00b
Although you may find this unbelievably funny and/or annoying, it is best to restrain yourself and keep from talking back to them, as they are very territorial and easily angered. This will result in their attempted verbal abuse of you, possibly backed up by other noobs, because they work in packs when doing offensive tasks. It is not an easy task to learn this language because our intelligent accent will keep it from sounding quite right when spoken. You can write some simple noobish of your own, however, by slamming your face into your keyboard repeatedly.
II. Where to find noobs
On the internet, noobs make their colonies on forums. They migrate in waves, usually on weekends, and proceed to clog up bandwidth with stupid questions and sometimes even stupid answers. If you happen to be unfortunate enough to be on a board large enough to attract migrating noobs, there will hopefully be authority in charge who is smart enough to take extermination measures before they can make nests and larger colonies.
Larger colonies can result in the mutation of some into spammers. Not commercial spammers, but pointless spammers. A noob can become one of these at any point, but the larger the amount of noobs, the more chance pointless spammers will appear.
Off the internet, noobs appear anywhere the focus is on learning or discussing something specific.
III. Behavior of noobs
Since noobs are basically ignorant bastards, they have a lot in common. The most often seen characteristic is their fluency in noobish, which is why it got its own section. They will also be very self confident as if they were the absolute best at what they are in fact the worst at. Also, they are quite agressive and self-centered, and tend to laugh a lot using many L's and O's in rapid sucession (the noobish word for laughing like an ultimate retard).
It is their instinct to assemble in packs for defense, and they often attempt to organize packs that they call teams. Unfortunately for them, teams usually result in a total loss of communication and they can often begin to fight amongst each other. These teams are quite unlike those formed by non-noobs.
Noobs have difficulty reading english and cannot comprehend the idea of authority. Therefore, they have an all-out disregard for rules, basic or not. A good way to identify a noob (bad) vs. a newb (good) is to tell them (or have an authority tell them) which rule they are unknowingly breaking. If they respond with an apology and fix it, they are probably not a noob. If they react by insulting everything around them in rapid noobish and causing general mayhem, it is because they are a noob and have had a small seizure due to their inability to understand what is happening.
IV. Noob religion
Noobs follow a variation of the 1337 (sometimes 7331) religion, in which they worship the number in odd rituals and put altars in their forum avatars and signatures. They often call themselves 1337, which experts say is somewhat like calling themselves godly in a human language. It's best to not interfere with their religious fantasies and practices because that can lead to a noob uprising, which can turn a forum to mush in less than a week.
V. More about noob habitats
Noobs often attempt to maintain their own web pages. Some common features of these lairs are a terrible lack of content, background music, lots of pointless animated gifs, and pages that say some variation of 'tHEir isnothinG H34r yEtt LOLLOLOL!111!1!!~~~!!`! 13371337', which means 'Nothing here yet' in noobish. They will also have large, seemingly infinite **s of 88X31 affiliate buttons replaced with red X's scattered here and there, and possibly a hit counter showing a number less than 100. These habitats are numerous but fairly easy to avoid because only noobs link to them. So if you can identify a noob, don't go to its homepage. Simple as that.
C. AVOIDING NOOBS
I. Make sure you aren't one
Note: This section is bilingual so even noobs can make the discovery if they haven't already.
English (T4lk)-
Read the above parts of this guide carefully. If you find yourself unable to comprehend any of it but are instead beginning to think about how great you are and how awesome 'teh 1337' is, you might want to take one of the many available online quizzes to check your noobancy.
Noobish (133713371337)-
Liek, u gott4 re3D teh gudieCAREFUl1y and tehn OMG LIEK I AM R0XX0RZ ya anD ify 0u turn into teh reTARDED u gota go 2 MY WEBP4GE LOLLOLOL!!111~11 ad check 4 warez n stfuu. if u r a n00b go2HELL LOLLOLOlROFLMFAO11!!!11!!!! a/s/l pos gtg n00b su0rz ur b00rz OLOOOLOLLLL HELP HELP HELP 1337133713371337
II. Major noob avoiding strategies
The main factor in attracting migrating herds of noobs is a large, active forum. If you find one of these, look to see if it has the management to avoid noob infestation. If not, look for a small or mid-sized forum that covers the same topic so you can enjoy your time there before the noobs find it.
Another way to keep noobs from interfering with your life is to become part of the authority on one of these forums. But that's often hard to do so you'll probably be better off avoiding larger forums first off. If you do manage to become part of the authority, however, take full advantage of it and establish extermination policies so that normal people can have a nice time without noob infestations.
I think everyone's still reading that and got off of posting to the thread. Just kidding with you Punkin, don't think I'm piling on ya. Yeah I pretty well think we've run the gambit on this thread. It's been fun so far...trthskr4 wrote:No telling where else this thread would have gone if Punkin hadn't been a buzzkill and posted that novel.
