Funny sayings

[S-Cackalacky]

My Mamma could get a full day's work out of a three legged mule.

[Coyote]

Dad had one that didn't come out very often,
telling one of his sons to be careful.

" Be as careful as a new born pup shitting a 10 pack of razor blades"

Coyote

[Coyote]

"Hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire"

Coyote

[BoomTown]

From the underground miner's I knew in my youth....

Madder than a dunked cat....

Dumber than tits on a nun....

Useless as balls on a priest...

(drunk) .... 3 sheets in the wind...

Blacker than the inside of a cat....

OH, and then there is 'pissing into the wind'.

[woodshed]

Wilder than a three peckered billy goat.

[Coyote]

Always thought that was

Hornier than a three peckered billy goat.

Coyote

[woodshed]

My grandma use to tell us that when she wanted us to calm down. She would have never used the word horny.

[DFitz]

Today's funny saying was direct to the wife. "Don't be running your gob while the ground's thawed".

[Red Rim]

Your mother should have swallowed you when she had the chance.

[planethax]

Best part of you ran down ur mothers leg.

[heartcut]

Guess folks that get raised with sayings like these turn into a bunch of shiners.

[Tal]

"Strike me pink!"
"Hotter than a cold day in hell"
"F..ks like a rattlesnake"
and talking about a calm sea..."Smooth as a babies arse"
"Tough as nails"
"Driving like he stole it"

[Tokoroa_Shiner]

Really hot weather

Drier than a nuns snatch.

[Soggy Bottom Boy]

That's slicker than goose shit on a wet cedar deck! (...if you've ever slid 24" on one heel, mid-step, while carrying a platter full of barbequed ribs back into the house, you know exactly how slick that is!)


He's bat-shit crazy, .....man, that guy is Looney Tunes!

His Daddy took him to the Drive-In movies, and he went home with his Mother.

Fellas, ...is a frog's ass watertight? (from the movie Gung Ho)

Wait up lads, ...time-out for a jimmy riddle. (Brit for "draining the lizard")

Speak softly, oh toothless one! (a retort for when someone "cuts the cheese" with no concern about the decibel level)

Tighter than a mosquito's ass stretched over a rain barrel.

[Red Rim]

Well shit a brick and fuck me with it! (Dexter)

[Nutmegmooner]

Well I'll be go to Hell!

[Tal]

"Well fuck me boot!"
"Tighter than a fishes arse"
"He's a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic!"
"The lights on, buts no-ones home!"
"Theres a couple of roo's loose in the top paddock!" ( Aussie saying for a bit crazy)

[RevSpaminator]

Bad idea: That'll go over like a turd in church. (My dad)

Repulsive: As popular as a dead hog in the sun. (My grandpa the Nebraska farm boy. He had too many to remember. )

[cob]

slicker 'n mule slobbers

[Red Rim]

It's raining like a mule pissing on a flat rock.

[S-Cackalacky]

emptier than a sewing basket in a nudist camp.
He's stuck on that horse like a tick on a dog's back.

[S-Cackalacky]

My Mamma would say when it was raining while the sun was shining, "well looks like the devil is beating his wife.".

[Tal]

"Well fuck me drunk!"

[planethax]

Id but that for a dollar

[planethax]

That's a cock for folly

[Truckinbutch]

Lazy person :
'If that boy ever meets a turtle it will be face to face . He ain't never gonna pass one .'
On being encouraged to change your mind on an issue you are fevrently committed to by someone you don't like , nohow :
'I think I'll just stick to dancin with the gal what brung me .'
Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin chairs .
That dog won't hunt (bad advice given by someone else ).

[Red Rim]

Well fuck me in both ears.... (Also from Dexter)

[Red Rim]

Shit or get off the pot.

[Tal]

"as slippery as a butchers prick!"
"He is so skinny, his old man must have shot him thru the sheet"
"Like a streak of weasel piss"
"Drunk as a skunk"
"Pissed as a parrot"
"Pissed as a fart"
"Funny as a fart"

[S-Cackalacky]

If a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its ass when it jumps.

My Grandma when she wanted the younguns to be quiet: "Shh, I thought I heerd a sireen." It worked too and we didn't catch on to what she was doing until we reached adulthood and developed half a brain.