What's your cover story?

Nichevo · Post by **Nichevo** » Sun Dec 13, 2009 4:49 pm

It took me quite awhile to cobble together the parts for my latest still. I visited 4 plumbing shops, a specialty valve supplier, and a couple other places for odds and ends. Without fail I was asked what I was building. The first time I just told the guy that I was building a water purifier *winkwink*, he seemed really uncomfortable after I told him that. I had to come up with a better story. I told the other shops that I was building a custom heating system for a friends specialty oversized aquarium. They bought it, which was helpful since it gave me an excuse to refuse suggested bronze/galvanized/whatever parts on account of sensitive fish. The valve supplier jokingly asked if I was setting up a meth lab... Thankfully nobody looks at me crooked when I buy 20kg of sugar and some yeast.

What cover stories have you guys used?

Post by **blanikdog** » Sun Dec 13, 2009 6:40 pm

I don't have one.

blanik

Post by **kiwistiller** » Sun Dec 13, 2009 6:48 pm

[smug] What's a cover story?

[/smug]

still_in · Post by **still_in** » Sun Dec 13, 2009 7:02 pm

hi

i used to be a lot more paranoid about things. my main concern is that my landlord, who knows that my neighbour and i brew beer , would find out. just because i think he would be uncomfortable if he knew something illegal was going on in a building he owns. ive had a few times where he has come through the apartment to fix something and i've had to "hide the still".

theres some good points that go against being paranoid though:

-90% + people have no idea what a still, or distillation is, and especially what a still looks like. copper parts are obviously for making likker, to us, but to most folks its just random tools

-after a while i decided to stop being paranoid, and am now fairly open about my hobby. all my friends know, some acquaintances, etc. my parents and parents in law etc. all of them are either indifferent or enthusiastically supportive. a few neighbours of mine are happy to help find parts for me or put me in touch with someone who has a keg etc.

-the police dont care. a friend of mine is a journalist, and he decided to do a story on moonshining. he spoke to a number of municipal, provincial and federal police forces. every singe representative he spoke to either was ignorant of any law against the home/hobbyist production of spirits and or specifically and unequivocally told my friend that they would not enforce or prosecute a hobbyist, they simply do not care

-the Canada Revenue Agency doesn't care. Ian Smiley has made a number of comments, along with "the Mikes" regarding the fact that a legal case could be made that it is no longer against the law to home-distill. the main reason is that there is simply no recent precedent for enforcement (in Canada). My journalist friend had to phone three different people at the Canada Revenue Agency (the government body who is responsible for the Excise Act which prohibits unlicensed spirits production) just to find someone who was even aware that such a law existed. He finally reached a spokesperson who was able to confirm the law (which is clearly posted on their website, but clearly unimportant to their actual employees). The spokesperson was unable to provide any information on WHY the law existed or whether he thought it would be enforced.

-A number of people, such as Mr. Smiley himself, openly make a business out of selling home-distilling supplies, information etc. This is partly due to the loophole that you could "just distill water" but in fact I think it is largely because the law enforcement agencies simply dont care.

All of this to say that I no longer feel the need for a cover story. My approach is that home distillation is an ancient tradition, closed linked with struggles for liberty and freedom from government prying, and that we should be proud and open about it. We are not criminals who should need to hide our practices away in the shadows. Similar to how the marijuana movement was encouraging open use of that prohibited substance in order to break down the taboo against it, I think we should do everything we can to make home-distilling a socially acceptable and normalized practice.

So while I agree with "be discreet' I interpret more to mean "dont sell", because that is something the government is still more concerned about.

So when I go to a shop for parts etc. I tell the attendant "its for a still". A lot of fun conversations.

Post by **blind drunk** » Sun Dec 13, 2009 7:59 pm

I'm not paranoid, but I'm really discreet which is a bummer because I like sharing but feel that I shouldn't spread the word too much. I'll share liqueurs because I could tell folks that I just purchase grain alcohol from the store and then follow a recipe "I got on line."

Last week while I was buying malted grains from a home brew shop I kept my hobby under wraps until the guy grinding my grain checked the counter to see what else I was buying and said "that's a proof hydrometer you got there." "Busted" I said while turning beet red. He said "don't worry about it, I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were buying." Then to top it all off, I paid cash, because I had some handy and prefer the hard currency without a paper trail.

So, not paranoid but I do keep it quite whenever I can

I also think that the police are just too busy going after the real criminals of society. bd.

airhill · Post by **airhill** » Sun Dec 13, 2009 8:11 pm

Nichevo wrote:It took me quite awhile to cobble together the parts for my latest still. I visited 4 plumbing shops, a specialty valve supplier, and a couple other places for odds and ends. Without fail I was asked what I was building. The first time I just told the guy that I was building a water purifier *winkwink*, he seemed really uncomfortable after I told him that. I had to come up with a better story. I told the other shops that I was building a custom heating system for a friends specialty oversized aquarium. They bought it, which was helpful since it gave me an excuse to refuse suggested bronze/galvanized/whatever parts on account of sensitive fish. The valve supplier jokingly asked if I was setting up a meth lab... Thankfully nobody looks at me crooked when I buy 20kg of sugar and some yeast.

What cover stories have you guys used?

Nichevo if you're buying copper parts you better change your story

(or know something about indirect heating systems). Copper corrodes in aquarium water and its fairly toxic.

Post by **Dnderhead** » Sun Dec 13, 2009 8:29 pm

I keep discreet but dont make exscuses, they take one look at me and go git what I want if they have it.

Post by **HookLine** » Sun Dec 13, 2009 8:43 pm

YEs, there is a difference between being discreet, and being paranoid. I wish to remain anonymous, but OTOH I am not too concerned about the situation in Australia either. Prosecutions for illegal alcohol distilling here are very few and far between, and they are nearly all for stilling and selling on a large scale.

The authorities here basically do not give a shit, as long as you are small scale, and ain't selling or hurting anybody.

Post by **Hawke** » Sun Dec 13, 2009 9:12 pm

I tell them I'm building a moonshine still. So far everybody thinks I'm giving them shit and just sell me the parts.

Post by **olddog** » Sun Dec 13, 2009 9:13 pm

If anyone asks, I am just doing a bit of plumbing, they don't know I am not a plumber.

Post by **HookLine** » Sun Dec 13, 2009 9:33 pm

Hawke wrote:I tell them I'm building a moonshine still. So far everybody thinks I'm giving them shit and just sell me the parts.

Hiding in plain view, huh?

Post by **Hawke** » Sun Dec 13, 2009 9:43 pm

HookLine wrote:Hiding in plain view, huh?

Works for me.

Have also used the pond fountain excuse. But, most of the clerks at Home Despots and Lowe's don't have a clue, the industrial supply people think it's cool. (Have to work with the right clerks at times)

Post by **Barney Fife** » Sun Dec 13, 2009 9:51 pm

I've used various lines for different places, and the most effective has been Hawke's line! Just tell them you're making moonshine and they'll laugh and go get the parts anyway. Ain't like they need to write down the use for the damned parts.... If they question you too far, just say "hey, da boss, he writes the list, I buy it; I don't know what the shits' for, but I better have it when I get back to the shop, or you're in deep!...

Works every time. Buying jars? Teller asks if I'm making jam, I just wink exaggeratedly and say "no, moonshine", and she'll laugh and say "Yeah, right.." and go on with the regular chit chat bullshit. Same with sugar; they say "cookies?", I say "whiskey", they laugh, and ask how's the weather........

goose eye · Post by **goose eye** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:08 am

i rekon it all in where you live. you tell folks you makein a outfit round here you best bet they
gonna believe it. you buy a tester tell en you work at a bar an makein sure the folks that
work there aint takein likker an addin water an food colerin back. you buy alot of suger wear
you a hat shirt or somethin with bee keepin. learn the basics. 5 lbs of suger in a gal jug an top with
water to melt. that will feed a hive for 2 days if they drawin comb if you tryin to build up weight for winter its 10 lbs in a gal jug an top off with water. now you do the math. jugs is for cannin. ask if they no where the pickle mix or sur jell is an always buy somethin dealin with cannin its a cheap price.
wink wink round here will get you makein your one phone call.

so im tole

Post by **ScottishBoy** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:14 am

Copper parts " Doin a little plumbing"
Specialty valves " Water cooling a CPU"
Copper Tube "Just got a fridge with an ice maker"

Any supplies " Baking for the holidays" "Puttin up some apples" "Simple Syrup for the holidays"

Around here nobody even bats an eye when you buy mass quantities of anything. They are very used to folks canning and preserving. I put 20 lbs of sugur on the belt, they dont even glance at it. All the hardware stores and most of the supermarkets carry large canning supplies. If I really feel odd about the purchase, then I buy a case of 2 quart jars along with the sugar and then bring the jars back the next week. "Ooops. Got the wrong ones. These are too tall for my canning."

So far the only person who has given me any question is my brewing supplier. He said nobody had asked for Beta-Amalayse in 15 years. Luckily (?), I am allergic to Komi-Koji ( gives me nasty sinus infections) so I was able to tell him I wanted it for reducing rice for Sake due to my allergy. He seemed okay with that. So there may be a rice vodka in my future....

I used to work for a security company that cased and robbed stores on a systematic basis to analyze their security. We would write them, get an agreement, and explain what we were doing and that security should have NO idea that they were being watched. The best piece of advice I can give you is to look like you belong there and that what you are doing is even more natural to you than walking. Be bored, complacent and seemingly tired of the repetative task, and most people dont even give you a second glance. If you get nailed then act totally surprised and seriously embarrased. I remember apologizing profusely to a gaurd one time when he noticed I forgot to pay for some shoe polish. I stammered and let him think he was in charge and walked out of there with a red face and a pair of 600 dollar boots on my feet.
Good old days...

SB

still_in · Post by **still_in** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:57 am

i used to tell the local brew shop guy that i was making beer. i was always kind of paranoid since i wasnt really buying the stuff youd need for beer. finally i went in there one time and it just didnt make any sense anymore, my story just was too crooked. so i told him i was makin whiskey and he just laughed and said welcome to the club. i guess theres a few of us around!

Post by **ScottishBoy** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 7:08 am

The joke around the house is that Im prepairing for the upcoming "Zombie Apocalypse"...cant make molotov cocktails without good spirits.

( Thats a http://www.l4d.com joke...BTW)

rumlover · Post by **rumlover** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:44 am

I am more concerned with someone thinking I'm Building some kind of rig to make crystal meth. In my part of the world that will get a lot of attention.

And visitors

Post by **ScottishBoy** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 12:23 pm

rumlover wrote:I am more concerned with someone thinking I'm Building some kind of rig to make crystal meth. In my part of the world that will get a lot of attention.

And visitors

Happened to me... http://homedistiller.org/forum/viewtopi ... 6#p6811159

Hehehehehe.

SB

Post by **MuleKicker** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 7:00 pm

When Im at the store gettin something, i know what im getting, I ask where it is and I get it. Nobody needs to know anything about what im using it for. now if i need alot of crazy parts, i dont go asembling it in the isle at the hardware store. As far as being paranoid? no one in my part has a clue what a still is. in fact, my neighbor walked right into my garage and caught me with my dick in my hand, 'still drippin likker. he had no clue what I was doin. and he's a good shit so i told him, his reply was: have you made any scotch yet? he thought it was totally leagal, as long as your not selling. When I got started, I thought the same thing. I used to sit right in front of my garage, in clear view of cars driving by. stillin' away. no one driving by had a clue. I dont advertise, but I dont hide either. maybe im stupid, but i dont think i should have to hide, the guy makin meth.....he should hide.. bastard.

Post by **Barney Fife** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:05 pm

Mule, that's nice that you know where all the stuff is, but when you get to bigger stuff, it isn't on store shelves, so you have to ask.... I haven't been to the store yet where the clerk could tell me where to find the random length 2 and 3" inch copper pipe and left me alone....

Ayay · Post by **Ayay** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 12:44 am

Gooseye I dunno where you'e from but that's the best reasoning and remedy! You can be feedin the wild bees and if anyone wants to know they'll have to get all green and careful these days.

Post by **rubber duck** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:32 am

Hawke wrote:I tell them I'm building a moonshine still. So far everybody thinks I'm giving them shit and just sell me the parts.

+1

smokerscully1 · Post by **smokerscully1** » Thu Dec 17, 2009 7:28 am

This is what my set-up looks like when not in operation. Everything is there, hanging on the wall, right in plain sight. On the freezer to the left is several carbouys of UJSSM ready to run.
I have never sold any but several people know what I'm doing, including several local cops.

Here's a good one for you. Last week a swat team shows up at my house with a search warrant, 2 dogs and 9 cops altogether. They didn't find what they were looking for and they were pissed. They were looking for anything to write me up for. The dumb basterds couldn't figure out that someone was jerking their chain and trying to get me in trouble. I've never had anything to do with the thing which can't be mentioned and these guys all thought I was the local drug lord or something. They went thru all my cabins and outbuildings and were standing around in my shop for hours. In one bedroom upstairs I got maybe 30 gallons of 100 proof aging on oak sticks, most of it in gallon glass jugs, and some white dog in old liquor bottles.

They ended up charging me with unsafe storage of a firearm--which is bogus--thier just trying to justify the warrant.

Nobody said a word about the mash or the still or the liqour. I honestly don't think they knew what the hell they were looking at.

Post by **Barney Fife** » Thu Dec 17, 2009 9:08 am

In those pictures, Northern Pike?

Post by **rad14701** » Thu Dec 17, 2009 11:50 am

Well, smokerscully1, I certainly hope the law wasn't paying closer attention than you thought... They could very easily make a return visit with proper search warrants now that they've all had a look-see... Not to make you paranoid, but I'm just sayin...

Post by **Barney Fife** » Thu Dec 17, 2009 12:46 pm

Don't don't need a separate warrant; once in the door under the original warrant, anything illegal they find is fair game. I would worry about them monitoring for a while, though, to see if you do sell, or even give away, any of your product. You said you don't sell, but make sure you don't even give any away for a good many months. Might want to be seen buying wine and/or beer supplies for a while, too; that's likely what they thought when they saw the jugs and demijohns.

I agree about hiding in open view, though; I've had many walk right by the pile of copper that is my still head and nobody's ever asked. Of course, as added camouflage, I keep a bunch of plumbing odds and ends in the same pile, so the still just blends-in with the background. If it was all wrapped up in a closet, and someone found it, -then- that would be suspicious. It's sad that we have a simple and harmless hobby and still have to talk about shit like this, ain't it?

Speakin' of which, off to fire up the boiler!

Post by **rad14701** » Thu Dec 17, 2009 2:57 pm

Barney Fife wrote:Don't don't need a separate warrant; once in the door under the original warrant, anything illegal they find is fair game.

Not sure Canada as the same loose interpretation of warrants that we have here in the US... Even here things can get a bit iffy depending on how the warrant is worded...

We'll all be thinking positive thoughts, smokerscully1...

Maybe our collective efforts will work as a mind eraser...

Yeah, that's the ticket, a mind eraser...

ammo man · Post by **ammo man** » Sun Dec 20, 2009 10:56 am

In my case when building my VM still, I would tell the truth. "I am building a vapor management distillation unit". That always ended the questions with a glassy eye look from the person asking except in one case. One of my friends responded by saying, "What the hell is that?" I replied, "A whiskey still." All he said was, "Oh."

If he had not been a close friend, I would have gone into a detailed explanation of the theory of vapor management. Such things as how different vapors have different weights, reflux equilibrium, and so on, and explain that I was building a "unit" to utilize these principles. I am sure that not many clerks in plumbing stores would have the foggiest notion what I was talking about much less suspect I was building a whiskey still. Even if they did, I would have not cared.

Bert (ammo man)

Post by **LWTCS** » Sun Dec 20, 2009 5:39 pm

Dnderhead wrote:I keep discreet but dont make exscuses, they take one look at me and go git what I want if they have it.

When I read your reply (on my phone) a week ago, I must have looked pretty silly sitting in my truck by myself laughing my ass off.

Dunder you are the poster boy of "Stilling Quarterly". All the young fellers prolly wisper real low "Wonder if he knows how to make........."

When the moonshine festival comes round, you can model all those t-shirts (and cover alls) with all those great sayings.
And perhaps a calander is in the works.

Cheers Dnderhead

Home Distiller

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