rad14701 wrote:He's been behaving so I authorized a telephone
LOL I am not looking forward to the time my kids say that. I have never behaved. It will mean that they are not as willing to put up with the ornery old fart as much as they once did. I hope you are as lucky as I. I am close with my father, not so close with my mother but I have always been very, very close with my children. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Take care of your pop.
It's been quite some time since I've had a chance to post an update here regarding my fathers progress... He was transferred into the assisted living wing of the nursing home a week ago and I took him for another doctors appointment yesterday... He had been hinting about putting in his 30 day notice today, which is required at the assisted living facility and going home, and I hadn't been giving my opinion either way even though I didn't feel that it was possible... The doctor took the lead on that subject when Dad said he just wanted to go home by telling him that it would not be a viable option... I didn't want to look like the bad guy and the house definitely isn't ready to be lived in again at this point... The doctor and I are in agreement that Dad needs more care and supervision than he could be afforded at home, even if I were to move in with him and perhaps have someone come in daily... I don't like the prospect of spending thousands of dollars per month but I'd rather pay it and know that he is getting excellent care 24/7...
The past several months have comprised of nothing but running to the nursing home and working on sorting through the hoard at the house... Work and my income stream have been all but nonexistent... I have no idea how folks who aren't self employed are able to manage in similar situations... I've rented a cabin for a weekend in the latter part of September just to get away considering how I haven't gone tent camping or even hiking once this summer... All stilling activities have also gone to the wayside but I will be dragging some of my equipment I have in storage at Dads out, hopefully, in the near future... If I can dig it out from under the hoard, that is...
I know what you're goin through Rad, both of my parents are now in homes. Due to proximity it has fallen to my brother for most of their care and fortunately he is in a position to do it. So I am his moral support. When he calls I just let him bitch and get it out, our dad can be very difficult to deal with.
We put our dad in a facility earlier this year and it was very difficult. He too was sure he could go home and take care of his self so we had to let the doctors be the heavy. He grudgingly listened to them.
Big R
"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves." William Pitt
Thanks, everyone, for your continued support... It is greatly appreciated...
rtalbigr, I remember reading about what you and your brother were going through... My two sisters haven't been, nor do they intend to be, involved in this process in any way so this has all been on me...
I skipped visiting Dad yesterday so as to give him a day to brood over what the doctor said... I'm hoping that today he will have let things gel and will be less disheartened than I am sure he was after the doctors appointment...
This whole subject scares the shit out of me. I am sorry you have to go through it. A full sister and two half sisters wont be there when my mom can no longer deal with her onset of Alzheimers. I know it will land on me and I will step up like you have done. Good luck big guy.
rad14701 wrote:
rtalbigr, I remember reading about what you and your brother were going through... My two sisters haven't been, nor do they intend to be, involved in this process in any way so this has all been on me...
That's unfortunate Rad, I would help my brother more but were 1500 miles apart, so when he calls I listen. And if he really needs help, like when we had to move dad, then I'll get in the car and go.
rad14701 wrote:
I skipped visiting Dad yesterday so as to give him a day to brood over what the doctor said... I'm hoping that today he will have let things gel and will be less disheartened than I am sure he was after the doctors appointment...
It took about 2-3 weeks before it really sank in with our dad. Fortunately, my brother is much more patient than I am. For me it was extremely frustrating. But it finally all worked out and we think dad is at least content now. They keep strawberry ice cream specially for him, and he is well cared for.
I understand how frustrating it can be Rad, keep the faith.
Big R
"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves." William Pitt
Good for you fellas stepping up and doing what is right,may not easy but in the long haul you will feel and be better for it and, I am sure when your parents have time and ability to reason this out they will understand!
Chin up we do what we have to when the time comes!
Rad I feel for ya. That self employed thing I can tell you can be a bitch.
Been there done that, 3 winters in a row 06,07 an 08 I was laid up with surgeries
and couldn't run the business's. Had to count on the employees - who God love 'em
just don't have the same commitment. Guessing I lost about 50K each time.
But money is just money you can always get that back. Family can't be replaced.
Your doing the right thing. My answer is ask God and he will take care of you,
maybe not the way you would like but he will see ya through.
Keep the faith Brother!!
All our best
Coyote and Misses Coyote
"Slow Down , You'll get a more harmonious outcome" "Speed & Greed have no place in this hobby"
I ran into a gal I used to pal around with 30 years ago at the nursing home today... She had to move back into town from Florida and put both of her parents into the nursing home - within a week of each other... Her father used to be the administrator of the local hospital complex/healthcare system... She gave up a good banking career in Florida and hasn't even found work back here yet... Just goes to show that it can always be worse...
Hello Rad, just found this post here. Prayers to you and your family, I saw my grandma go through some of the same things, it is VERY difficult, just stay strong and hang in there. After all, that's what dads teach ya.
