Family Woes

[rad14701]

Daily Update

Dad was better today but still not his old self... He doesn't even remember me being there yesterday, let alone being there twice... He still gets lost in conversation at times and was able to carry on in-depth conversations at times and then would drift off topic ( He'd get along great here )... We now have a health care proxy in place, just in case...

The unofficial diagnosis is meningitis although the type has not yet been determined and once the cultures bloom we should know more... The shingles were a result, not the cause, of the infection... Whether he will recover 100% or not remains to be seen...

Thanks for the well-wishes and support...

[Frosteecat]

Jeez...we had a menengitis scare here too. Man, our families have oddly parallel medical issues. Poor guy must have had a HORRIFIC headache during all that...might explain some of the behavior. If it was the "bad" kind of meningitis, he'd most likely be dead. He got "lucky" it sounds like.
Keep on truckin' man...we got yer back!!!

[Prairiepiss]

What is a health care proxy? I've never heard that term before?

[rad14701]

Jeez...we had a menengitis scare here too. Man, our families have oddly parallel medical issues. Poor guy must have had a HORRIFIC headache during all that...might explain some of the behavior. If it was the "bad" kind of meningitis, he'd most likely be dead. He got "lucky" it sounds like.
Keep on truckin' man...we got yer back!!!

No headache whatsoever, believe it or not... Just total confusion... And I think he had a bout of hypersensitivity to touch because he originally acted like anything touching him was causing intense pain...

[OlympicMtDoo]

I hope he will improve rad, I know so much what you are going through, my Dad doesn't remember if I was to see him yesterday or six months ago and he is bitter at life, he tells me these were supposed to be the golden years and that it's bullshit, hard to listen to. He was a sucessful business man and now he's just bitter at life, I don't know what more I could do for him, I wish you and your Dad the best buddy but I do feel for you and your situation. OMD

[Frosteecat]

What is a health care proxy? I've never heard that term before?

It's like the medical equivalent of power of attorney. You are legally able to make and/or assist in the person's medical decisions. Often for parents and the elderly whose decision making skills are fluctuating.

[Frosteecat]

Jeez...we had a menengitis scare here too. Man, our families have oddly parallel medical issues. Poor guy must have had a HORRIFIC headache during all that...might explain some of the behavior. If it was the "bad" kind of meningitis, he'd most likely be dead. He got "lucky" it sounds like.
Keep on truckin' man...we got yer back!!!

No headache whatsoever, believe it or not... Just total confusion... And I think he had a bout of hypersensitivity to touch because he originally acted like anything touching him was causing intense pain...

My wife got it once. The pain was so intense she literally went blind for several hours. It was one of the most rapid onset illnesses I've ever seen. I can imagine sensitivity was definitely an issue. Poor guy...

[Mr.Brown]

Good luck to you Rad & wishing your dad well. My dad had a health care proxy with my name on it for 10 yrs & failed to mention it until last yr when he was diagnosed with lung cancer. He's a real piece of work but i'd do anything for the old man. I'm not much into praying, but my thoughts are with you.

[skow69]

You are a good son, Rad, and you've got your priorities straight, which all goes to the credit of the old boy who raised ya up.

We're sending some good jujus your way.

May Zarathustra pave your path.

[chopper35nj]

Good luck and fingers crossed for you and yours Rad. Hold it together, sombody's gotta be strong.

Cheers
Chopper

[Bushman]

Rad, this is my first post on this thread and I have got to tell you I have not read all the comments. I cut a vacation short a year ago and flew home leaving my wife to drive back as my 93 year old mother became very I'll. She lived in a senior apartment alone, I slept on the couch for months tending to her day and night with the help of Hospice coming in once a week to give her a bath and check her out. The morphine created some strange things! I wish you the best and hope neither your father or you and your family suffer!

[emptyglass]

All the best, bud.
I'm sure he will get better.
My thoughts are with you.

[heartcut]

You got your priorities straight, Bro. You and yours are in my thoughts. Hope everything works out well.
A frend of mine's dad got menengitis in the late 60's, was given 3 months max and lived for another 20.

[rad14701]

Update

Dad has been moved into a Non-ICU wing and is on solid foods... They are planning on removing his catheter but still requires a diaper so I'm not sure about that plan...

He has a phone now even though he isn't fit to be making calls so I can just imagine what it'll be like when someone answers his calls... I may request that the phone be removed...

He thinks he's headed home soon but that definitely won't be happening any time soon... I know him well enough to know he's not ready and won't be for quite some time, if at all... And I'll have to go clean up the hoard before his house can be deemed safe for him to live in... I'll deal with where he goes and when once he no longer requires hospital care...

[Frosteecat]

Sorry you're on your own in this. Thank god for my wife and sister...never could have handled that alone...but I think you're made of sterner stuff than me.

[Samohon]

Best wishes from this side of the pond Rad. Hope your Dads felling better mate.

I know what its like, my father is 78YO, had 2 hips, a double bypass and still thinks he is 21.

Take care bro...

[emptyglass]

Baby steps mate, but they are in the right direction.

They say we start and end in nappies.

All the best, chin up.

[Frosteecat]

How's it going, buddy?

[rad14701]

How's it going, buddy?

Sorry I haven't posted an update in a few days...

Dad is still fighting the good fight but just isn't making much if any real progress... It's almost a certainty that he won't be returning home... He goes from being somewhat lucid to drifting away into confusion beyond what everyone has expected... Today they had to install a PICC Line because they can't keep a standard IV line working and have been unable to find a good vein...

Some time next week he may be ready to be transferred to the nursing home where the antibiotics treatments will continue for several more weeks... I'm fairly sure that the 20 days that Medicare covers won't be enough and I'm not even sure he'll improve to a point where I could provide enough care by living with him... And I'm not sure I'd be able to get his house up to the standards required by then either...

I am still attempting to discover all of his assets, et cetera, that the nursing home requires... I about shit when I discovered that the monthly rate has increased to $8,700... I'm hoping to discover that he has enough combined coverage to reduce the out of pocket to a fraction of that figure... Fingers crossed...

The more time I am spending at his house, looking around at the hoard and trying to locate paperwork, the more convinced I am that his condition has been slipping for longer than anyone thought, including me... I think he's been putting on a good act and the rest of us have perhaps partially overlooked the obvious... Even his doctor is starting to realize that this has been coming on for more than a few years...

Today was the first day since he went into the hospital that I didn't get to the hospital to see him at least once... I was just too busy trying to sort things out and come up with a game plan for cleaning out the hoard and getting the property back into somewhat decent shape... It's quite sad, really, when you take into consideration that very few people have an elevator and indoor swimming pool capable of year round use here in the lake effect snow region...

That's all for now...

[heartcut]

Hope you can get things straightened out and your Father gets better. We have great technology here, but the financial arm of the medical establishment is brutal. I'm pulling for your Dad and you.

[mash rookie]

stay strong rad. Be the tree trunk your family needs

[johnny]

Yep you only get one family, so good luck and take care rad!!!

[Frosteecat]

The expenses are indeed ridiculous. We went through the entire spectrum of care during my mother's illness. Initially, we were able to have a group called Visiting Angels come. They would cook, clean, grocery shop, keep her company, etc. a couple times a week. But no meds, hygiene, etc. We then moved her to a "assisted living" place...very nice, very expense, medical aid in an apartment setting. That did not last long as she had a major setback, and the day it happened one of the "helpers" decided to slip her room key off her wrist and steal her cash from her room (as she was being loaded into an ambulance!). Needless to say she did not return there. She then went to another place where she had her own room and round the clock nurses, counselors, etc. That place may be the type you want to look at. The "campus" ranged from assisted apartment living, to 24 hour "hospital room" (but private...kind of a cross between a hospital/hotel/dorm room setup) care, and, ultimately, phased into hospice care in the same location.
Having a large campus where your father can go through the phases of the last part of his life without constant moving and disruption is a blessing. It was also quite expensive. The standard tactic for those with more limited resources than my mom was to plough through your $ as quickly as possible and then switch entirely to Medicaid. It is a ridiculous system...but that is the way it pans out.
If you ever need an ear to bend or any insights, PM me...having been there...I know how stressful this can be.
I hope it goes as smoothly and with as much dignity as possible. You are, obviously, a good man and a son your father should be proud of.

[rad14701]

Overdue Update

Last Thursday I transferred Dad from the hospital to one of the local nursing homes for continued rehabilitation... How far he progresses is hard to say at the moment... I honestly have my doubts that he will be able to go home... He has become excessively feeble and I just don't see him snapping back to his old self, either mentally or physically... And his house needs a lot of work to be safe enough for him... Not to mention the fact that I had the water tested and it's not fit for human consumption due to high levels of coliform bacteria... One more item on my list to address...

[Frosteecat]

Keep plugging away man...keep plugging away. You are doing the right thing for him.

[heartcut]

I feel for you, Rad. Stay strong, we're hoping for the best.

[bentstick]

Hang tough Rad, as you told me last week our skin gets thicker, my thoughts are with ya.

[mash rookie]

I hope you get a chance to see him Sunday.
Good luck amigo.

[rad14701]

I hope you get a chance to see him Sunday.
Good luck amigo.

I go to see him almost every day... I only miss a day if I'm extremely busy or am out of town...

I made him go to listen to a female county singer in the chapel/activity room this afternoon instead of his usual sleeping... He used to do the nursing home circuit with several other gentlemen to do country performances so I figured it might do him some good... I know he'll never play again but I thought it might help him to start interacting with other residents... He was asking about the assisted living apartments today so that may be a sign that he is coming to the realization that he may not be going home... He's been behaving so I authorized a telephone for him with the understanding that it could be turned off at night or removed at my discretion...

[heartcut]

Sounds a lot better. Good thing he has you.